<![CDATA[Fleshbot: wardrobe malfunction]]> http://tags.fleshbot.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/fleshbot.com.png <![CDATA[Fleshbot: wardrobe malfunction]]> http://fleshbot.com/tag/wardrobemalfunction http://fleshbot.com/tag/wardrobemalfunction <![CDATA[This Week In Failed Upskirts: The (Fake) Ballroom Dancing Pussy Exposure]]> We regret to inform you that the rest of the world still doesn't know what a vagina looks like. First there was Juliana Margulies's "vagina", and now we have this ballroom dancing "crotch slip."

We've never really agreed with those people who claim that Barbie has ruined America... until now. Clearly, only someone who actually believes that women resemble America's favorite doll down there would genuinely believe that this is a picture of a woman's vagina. The rest of us can just sigh, shake our heads, and comment on what a nice pantyhose shot that is.

· Ballroom Dancing, Now With 90% More Crotch Exposure (deadspin.com)

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<![CDATA[Pink Gets Exposed At VMAs]]> At this point, wardrobe malfunctions are almost a required part of awards shows. In fact, if Pink hadn't exposed a section of her duct-tape covered boob while performing at MTV's Video Music Awards last weekend, well, we'd have felt downright cheated! (entertainmentwise.com)

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<![CDATA[ Remember when a grainy handheld video of...]]> Remember when a grainy handheld video of Britney Spears' boob falling out of her bra would have occassioned cheeky "Oops, she did it again!" headlines and feverish masturbatory fantasies everywhere? Nowaways, though, it's just a really crappy video of Britney Spears' boob falling out of her bra. So forget we even mentioned anything in the first place. (hollywoodtuna.com)

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<![CDATA[ We're a little bummed that such an obvious...]]> We're a little bummed that such an obvious and relatively uninteresting candidate as Nicolette Sheridan stands a very real chance of supplying the last celebrity nip slip of 2007. Then again, there's three days left 'til the end of the year, so maybe there's hope that Scarlett Johansson might still snag the title after all. (We can dream, can't we?) (egotastic.com)

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Megan Fox Breaks Through]]> Despite the fact that she was apparently a featured star at something called the "7th Annual Breakthrough of the Year Awards" this past weekend, it took our addled brains a moment or two to remember who Megan Fox was and why we should be so interested in the fact that her nipple made a public appearance at said event too. Then we remembered: she's that chick from "Transformers" with the sexy tattoos who also made the lad mag rounds earlier this year! (She also had a starring role on ABC's "Hope & Faith" for a while, but did anyone actually watch that?) Thanks to these pics, though, we'll have no trouble whatsoever remembering who Megan is in the future. Some things are just too good to forget.

· "Megan Fox Has Nipples" (idontlikeyouinthatway.com)
See also: Megan Fox @ Wikipedia and Ask Men

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Lily Allen Makes Us Smile]]> How adorable are you, Lily Allen? Sure, your boozy compatriot Amy Winehouse might have gotten more love from the Grammy nominating committee this year, but there's no doubt in our minds who we'd rather see serve us up a good old fashioned blink-and-you-miss-it nip slip shot. (Even if it's not that third nipple we've heard so much about.) If this is the sort of outfit that got you voted "Worst Dressed" at the NME Awards this year .. .well, don't go changing your wardrobe anytime soon, OK? There was a reason why you were nominated "Sexiest Woman" too.

· "Lily Allen Nipple Slip Pictures" (egotastic.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Celebrity (Non-)NippleWatch: Pamela Anderson On Conan O'Brien]]>
We've been known to go through some great lengths to catch a glimpse of celebrity nipple in our time, but even our most obsessive efforts pale in comparison to the boob aficionado who posted this Zapruder-like video of Pamela Anderson on the Conan O'Brien show last night. But the oddest thing is that despite the slow motion and close-up view, we still can't make out any nipple. Not that we haven't seen it before, of course, and not that Pam hauling her girls around in a clingy dress doesn't have its own particular appeal ... but if you're going to go through all the trouble of uploading a video to YouTube and call it a "wardrobe malfunction", shouldn't there at least be some sort of payoff? (Unless we're missing something, of course, and that shadow we're seeing on the side of her tit is in fact a curiously distended areola ... but surely we're not going blind from all that you-know-what we do just yet, are we?)

· "Pam Anderson Nipple Slip Conan O'Brien June 20, 2007" (YouTube)
· See also: "Things That Happened On And Around Late-Night Talk Shows Last Night" (Defamer)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Wet Spots]]> · The Heather Mills saga takes an ugly turn with accusations of prostitution, threats of lawsuits, and more nude photos. Okay, the photos aren't so bad ... but maybe the newspaper that invented the Page 3 Girl be judging her so harshly? (newsoftheworld.co.uk + washingtonpost.com + thesun.co.uk)

· Not content to let one billion soccer fans get a good look at her thong, Toni Braxton adds a full-fledged nipple slip to her World Cup duties ... and we're not even out of the first round! Who knows what she's got planned for the semi-finals? (egotastic.com)

· Oklahoma says violent video games must be treated like pornography: hidden from sight and illegal to sell to minors. Where did they ever get the idea that video games and sex were somehow related? (gamasutra.com + Kotaku)

· A Chinese official is caught keeping a :"pleasure palace" full of concubines outside Beijing. It has something to do with the Olympics ... bribery ... corruption ... whatever. We're really just interested in the concubines. (timesonline.co.uk)

2006_06_13_ws_exotic.jpg· The Exotic Erotic Expo and Ball makes its first trip to New York City this weekend, and if you don't already have your tickets, you can try winning some at an amateur strip-off tomorrow night. We imagine the competition will be pretty stiff ... and so will the audience! (exoticeroticball.com + adultfyi.com)

· We miss the days when films would warn us about the evils of illicit sex, while simultaneously titillating us with those same evils. In fact, you should probably watch every porn film two or three times so you fully understand the sick, nasty things you're never supposed to do. (bedazzled.blogs.com)

· Brokeback Fever continues to spread as fishing buddies all over the country wonder if having sex with their best friend would make them gay. If you've ever written a letter that starts, "I love chicks, but ...", that's definitely your first clue. (am-i-gay.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Mischa Barton (Again)]]>

Further confirming our long-held belief that there exists a secret Celebrity Nipple Cabal that controls the rate at which news of celebrity breast exposures is eked out to the media, we received word of a rather murky but nonetheless notable full-on boob slip involving Mischa Barton just as we were starting to drink ourselves into a stupor wrapping up shop for the weekend. (OK, so the boob slip in question happened during last Thursday's broadcast—but we don't watch "The O.C." and didn't find out about it until late Friday evening. Problem?) You'll have to strain your eyes and/or adjust the contrast on your monitor considerably to see anything in the clip linked by the articles below, but just knowing that it's there is good enough for us; in our experience, just imagining these sorts of things is almost always hotter than seeing the real thing.

· "Mischa Barton Bares Breast on TV" (netscape.com - thanks Regina)
· "Broadcast Nudes: Update" (Mischa Barton) (tvgasm.com)
· "Mischa Barton's Boob pops out on the OC Nip slip" (.wmv video link @ staticfiends.com - thanks FD)

Bonus! Because we'd hate to publish a Celebrity NippleWatch™ post without giving you at least something that's easier to see: Gwen Stefani Nipple Slip (Egotastic)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™: Mischa Barton, Women of "The O.C.", Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Charlotte Church's Ass]]>

Charlotte Church. Big Big star in the classical music world. She s a Welsh soprano whose first album was released when she was 12 years old and went double platinum. She s performed for the Pope, Bill Clinton, the Queen of England, Jay Leno, and even sung alongside Luciano Pavarotti. Here she is on the beach, ass up, making out with some buff dude, yellow bikini bottom riding up real nice between those cheeks as her man works his left thumb in questionable ways. Well, it s no nip slip, but it ll do for now.A. Tolesco

Charlotte Church (taxidrivermovie.com)
Charlotte Church Homepage (CharlotteChurch.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive, Tom Sizemore, Leyla Exposed, Gail Kim & Christy Hemme, Bikini Brawl, GoDaddy's "Censorship Hearing" Ad/Candice Michelle

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Nicolette Sheridan]]>

When not assembling an army of undead robotic narcotized mannequin housewives to turn TV sets across the nation into criminally tedious mind-control boxes, Nicolette Sheridan is apparently taking the girls out for a much needed swim and breath of air before they resume their own pursuits popping the balloons of unwitting children for the sheer pleasure of making them cry. Still, as much as I admire her angry little nips, "Footballers' Wives" is still way better. V. Blue

Nicolette Sheridan Nipple Slip (yeeeah.com, thanks Phil!)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Tyra Banks]]>

While I won't be wasting any time with the new season of America's Next Top Model, but will be preparing my cache of cough syrup and Zoloft for the oncoming trainwreck of The Tyra Banks Show, the resurfacing of these hi-res publicity shots featuring Le Banks lounging with the girls all loose, pointy and free beneath her couture is just the primer needed for the pump, as it were. It's a little game of "find the nip" and everyone's invited to play. -V. Blue

Tyra Banks Pictures (See Through?) (egotastic.com, thanks Phil)
See also: Tyra Banks gallery (millioncelebs.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Ciara Exposed (?)]]>

We like to think of photos like this as sort of Rorschach tests of the celebrity skin world: some of you may look at the rip in Ciara's crotch during a live television appearance and see an expanse of flesh desperately in need of a waxing, while others will just see a bunch of indeterminate stippled pixels that look like they've been kissed by the Blur tool in Photoshop. What it "really" is, of course, depends on exactly what you want to see.

"CIARA Pussy Shot From A Long-Over Due Wardrobe Malfunction?" (taxidrivermovie.com; also spotted @ Drunken Stepfather and IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com)

Bonus Upskirt Goodness! Courtney Love and Jessica Simpson (taxidrivermovie.com)

Previously: Serena Williams Exposed, Melania Knauss Exposed?, Beyonce Exposed, Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archives

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Rachel Nichols]]>

To be honest, the rumor mill around Jennifer Garner's return to "Alias" hasn't exactly kept me up at night (especially after all the painful hypnotherapy to erase "Elektra" from my memory). But I've got a reason to stay up at night if Rachel Nichols is her replacement—if these photos of Rachel in a see-through blouse are indicative of the show's new direction, my TiVo's going to melt. -V. Blue

Rachel Nichols See-Through Pictures (egotastic.com, thanks Phil!)
See also: Girls of Maxim: Rachel Nichols (maximonline.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: Mischa Barton]]>

Try as we might to understand her appeal (and with all due respect to whoever she's dating these days), we've never really been able to see what the big deal is about Mischa Barton—and we're afraid her cause isn't helped much by the graininess of these recent newspaper scans, even if we realize it's not the picture quality most of you will be looking at. Still, we'd be remiss in our duties if we didn't point your attention to what very may well be the closest we've come yet this summer to a boob slip of Tara Reid-like proportions. Have at it, kids!

"Mischa Barton - Nipple Slip once again!!" (forum.phun.org; also spotted @ Double Viking and Egotastic)

Previously: Women of "The O.C.", Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

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<![CDATA[Mariah Carey Breast Update]]>

Spin control or source of crushing disappointment to celebrity breast observers worldwide? According to a "clarification" posted yesterday at Mariah Daily ("one of the largest and most visited Mariah Carey fan sites on the internet!", in case you didn't know), this whole wardrobe malfunction hysteria this week has been just one big misunderstanding: "In reality, the strap in Mariah's dress tore once she finished singing 'Vision of Love'. Mariah jokingly told the audience: 'Do you think this will cause a worldwide scandal?' She then turned to the side and showed the audience that she was holding her dress and nothing was revealed. Mariah then left the stage to return moments later with a new black dress!" In the lack of any further photographic evidence (as opposed to more copies of those fake pics that everyone still insists on posting and/or forwarding us), we'll have to consider the case closed for now.

"Clarification Regarding Concert In Germany" (notice and photos @ mariahdaily.com, 7/13 entry)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™: (Probably Not) Mariah s Boobs

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<![CDATA[Celebrity NippleWatch™: (Probably Not) Mariah's Boobs]]>

It's touching, really, how badly people want to believe that these obviously doctored and/or old photos allegedly showing Mariah Carey falling out of her dress this week (and to which someone added an MTV watermark at some point over the last 24 hours for extra "authenticity") are the real thing—but we've received no less than a dozen links to sites featuring them this morning, and we're sorry to say that we're still not convinced enough to let that precious DVD copy of "Glitter" we mentioned as an incentive yesterday go to just anyone. Stay on the lookout, kids! (Oh, and if anyone wants to send us some fake stills from that alleged Colin Farrell sex tape, we'll be happy to take a peek at those as well.)

(Thanks to TJ for sending us this iteration.)

See also: Completely unrelated red carpet photos of Mariah at the 2000 World Music Awards here (uselessjunk.com - thanks Tim)

Update The good news: Our friends at Double Viking found an alleged screencap from that German TV appearance which at least looks a lot more plausible than the ones above. The bad news: You still can't see any boobage. (doubleviking.com)

See the maybe-it's-from-German-TV-and-maybe-it's-not but who-cares-because-it-stops-before-the-good-part-anyway video @ jaggle.nl (thanks Z.)

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Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archives
 

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