JimmyJane is referring to the Form 2 as a rabbit vibe (and given its resemblance to a certain Sanrio character, it's not hard to see why). But don't be fooled: this isn't the Rabbit Pearl you're dealing with. The Form 2 is a world away from the toy that was the toast of the "Sex and the City" set.

For one thing, the Form 2 is for external use only. But don't think that the lack of dual stimulation is a failing: the Form 2 may not do everything, but what it does do, it does very, very well. The two ears (which can stimulate the labia, envelope the clitoris, and whatever else your dirty little mind imagines) are each powered by their very own motor...the better to vibrate as hard as possible, of course.

And there's also the matter of the controls. The Form 2 is graced with three little buttons: a plus sign (to turn vibration on and up), a minus sign (to decrease vibration and turn it off), and a squiggly line, which takes the toy through different pulse patterns. It's a simple, intuitive set up, and it works very, very well—even in my orgasm addled state, I was still easily able to navigate my way through the pleasure cycle.

But that's not all! The Form 2 is completely waterproof (for bathtime fun), and—and this really excites me—it's impossible to overcharge it. Yes, leave your toy sitting on your charger overnight, if you like; it'll still be good as new in the morning.

In the past, I've had my issues with some of JimmyJane's products, but the Form 2 might just be enough to turn me into a true believer. I'm eagerly looking forward to Form 3 and 4...I can't wait to see what the future holds.

· Buy the Form 2 (jimmyjane.com)

· Buy "Lesbian Love, Vol. 1" (hotmoviesforher.com)

Of course, the use of an anal vibrator is more of a personal discovery, as in this video. Like all discoveries, it should be well-lubed, gingerly placed, and accompanied with slow but steady boning. Some day the humans will uncover an even more delicious orifice to put things in. For now, the Monolith waits...

· morning fun (xtube.com)

And frankly, it's just as hot to watch her deepthroat as it is to watch her pleasure herself. Each task requires serious attention, knowledge of personal limits, and zen-like concentration. We just don't know which to watch! Luckily, her husband is considerate enough to keep the camera moving while he gets head. Hey, we guess guys can multi-task after all! Enjoy this gender equality right here.

· Deepthroat on Cruise (xtube.com)

Last year, we were presented with the very praiseworthy SaSi from Je Joue, which turned the idea of what a sex toy can do completely on its head: instead of vibrating or penetrating, the SaSi's primary stimulation comes from moving pressure created by a small nub on the toy's underside. Now LoveHoney has their own innovative toy: meet the Sqweel, a rotating wheel of ten pink rubber tongues.

The idea behind the Sqweel is relatively simple: as the wheel rotates, the pink tongues flick against the clitoris (or nipple, or penis, or labia, or...you get the idea) one after the other after the other (and so on). The idea is to simulate oral sex—though I have to say, most of my partners have had an oral repertoire that was more extensive than simple tongue flinging.

That's not to say that the Sqweel isn't awesome; because, well, it feels pretty darn great. The soft tongues create a very nice feeling, and were easily able to get me off—obviously, the most important test in any sex toy.

However, the Sqweel can be a rather temperamental toy. For optimal results, it must be held just so: when I attempted it press it into my parts to increase the stimulation, I found that the tongues completely stopped spinning—likewise my attempts to clutch the toy between my thighs for hands free fun (I eventually got this to work, but it took some strategizing). But don't be discouraged by any initial struggles: when you do get it work just so, the resulting feeling is well worth the effort.

One criticism, though: despite LoveHoney's claims, I would not classify this toy as "easy to clean," purely on the basis that in order to clean the toy, you must first disassemble it. Sure, the disassembly is a mere two steps—but that's a whole lot more work than it takes to just rinse off any of my other toys.

Of course, none of my other toys house a wheel of ten divine, spinning tongues—so I guess it's just a trade off I'll have to live with.

· Buy the LoveHoney Sqweel (lovehoney.co.uk)

In fact, more often than not we find we can't pull ourselves away from bed and into the real world until we've had that one last wank...or watched someone like Brandi Love have one, anyway. From us to you, a Monday morning gift: here's hoping Brandi's sweet flesh will make that cruel, cold world seem just a little bit kinder.

· Buy "Masturbation Nation #4" (gamelink.com)
· (evolutiondist.com)

For the most part, the Freestyle is very similar to the original OhMiBod, in that its a vibrator that syncs to the sounds of your music (or, if you prefer, works as a normal vibrator—but where's the fun in that?). But there's one key feature that makes the Freestyle a winner: unlike its predecessors, the Freestyle won't leave you tangled up in wires.

In previous incaranations, OhMiBod's toys always plugged directly into the iPod. While the long cord made the situation workable, it was hard to ignore the fact that you were, literally, tethered to your iPod—a situation that could make things a little tricky, especially during partner play.

The Freestyle, on the other hand, has no such limitations. Rather than plugging the toy into the vibrator, one merely has to plug a transmitter into the iPod, which wirelessly transmits the vibrations to the Freestyle. It's a small change, but one that's greatly appreciated—and greatly improves the experience.

However, the toy wasn't quite perfect: much to my disappointment, the Freestyle abandons the wonderfully curvy shape of the NaughtiNano, opting instead for a Slimline-like body. It's okay and all—but it would be nice to see a wireless iPod vibe with a more body-friendly shape. (I also have fantasies of a very tiny Freestyle that can be tucked into the panties for discreet play in public—but maybe that's just me.)

I'd also love it if some future version of the Freestyle would enable the user to skip through songs using the toy alone. See, because the cord-free nature of the Freestyle gives me such freedom, I've taken to plugging my iPod into my speakers, and enjoying the beats from all the way across the room. And sometimes, well, I'd like to be able to switch a song without actually getting up and going to the iPod. But, uh, maybe that's just me.

Anyway: when it comes to iPod-synced vibes, the Freestyle is easily the pinnacle of achievement (for now, at least). And I, for one, look forward to enjoying many, many wireless orgasms for years to come—or at least until they come out with the next, even better model of this toy.

· Buy the Freestyle (babeland.com)

The main pros to the Earth Angel are immediately obvious. It's made from recycled plastics and doesn't require batteries, so you can rest easy that you're not killing the planet while rubbing one out. It also requires nothing but your own elbow grease to get up and running—a nice bonus if you're ever in need of some, ahem, relaxation during a blackout.

On the con side: look, I can't lie to you, this thing is a bitch to power up. At four minutes of cranking per thirty minutes of vibing, it seems like a lot of work for minimal payoff (especially since—let's face it—many of us could easily get off in four minutes with just our hands, or even an equally earth-friendly dildo). True, it can also be charged with a 5-volt charger (not included); but doesn't that power drain take away from the Earth-friendly aspect?

And then, of course, there's the matter of how the vibe performs. As the picture indicates, the Earth Angel is basically a Slimline vibe with a crank on the end. It's hard plastic, and it's ultra straight: all of which adds up to the kind of vibe that just doesn't really work for me.

I love the idea of a toy that doesn't make me run to the bodega for batteries, and doesn't take hours to power up, but the Earth Angel needs a few more tweaks before it gains my seal of approval. Note to the manufacturers: throw in a little curve to the body, maybe soften it up a bit, and see what you can do about reducing the crank time. Once you've got that down, well, baby, we'll be in business.

· Buy the Earth Angel (babeland.com)

Made of a velvety hard plastic, the bumpy toy feels sleek against the skin—always a nice sensation. With its arched head, it's perfectly positioned to rub up against a girl's gspot; the small bumps lining the top of the head feel great when they come into contact with the, ahem, outer areas.

But I found myself wanting to feel the whole toy inside me—and, alas, here is where I was stymied. It looked like it should go in just fine, but whenever I attempted this feat, I found myself out of luck. More persistent (or more flexible) penetrators may have more success with this than I did (and if you do, please report back).

And what, you ask, about the vibration part of this vibrator? In terms of intensity, this is a mid-range toy: it's no powerhouse, but it's charged enough to make an impression. Depending on your mood, you can increase or decrease the vibration by turning the dial at the base of the toy. (Don't be expecting any fancy pulse patterns, though—this is a strictly entry-level toy.)

I wouldn't say that the Cloud 9 took me to Cloud 9—but I did get somewhere in the range of Cloud 7 (and maybe even 7.5!). Not the best marital aid known to man; but then again, at a mere twenty bucks, it offers up a pretty respectable experience.

· Buy the Cloud 9 (babeland.com)

Seriously, screw alarm clocks. Being spanked awake (and then fucked out of bed) is a far, far better way to start the day. And as far as we're concerned, nothing says "Good morning!" quite like a ride on a Sybian.

· Buy "Lesbian Amateurs 3" (gamelink.com)

It's pretty simple, really. All you need is one Japanese girl (the nakeder, the better), one vibrator, and...well, you can't probably figure out the rest. And best of all, unlike Pin the Tail on the Donkey, everyone wins! (Well, actually, the person who makes the girl scream the loudest really wins...but everyone at least gets to feel like a winner.)

· Asian girl in uniform scream by a dildo (xtube.com)

(And if you haven't done your own daily salute to this greatest of all states...may we suggest you join Dakoda in her devotionals?)

· Buy "Masturbation Nation #2" (gamelink.com)

Not only is it an app that turns your phone into a multispeed vibrator—it's also an app with a downright adorable interface. Just look at this guy! He's like the Hello Kitty vibe of teledildonics!

· Dildroid (mobidroid.com, via slashdong.org)

Measuring a mere 4" long, and 1.5" in diameter, Angel is a toy on the smaller end of the spectrum—but one that packs a decent punch when it's up and running. Stimulation-wise, it's a pretty good toy: the slight shape easily navigates the girly parts, and its curves are capable of hitting all the necessary areas.

But, alas, it didn't leave me blown away. And, interestingly, the size was the culprit—though not for reasons you might think. It wasn't that it didn't feel good: it was that, with the control buttons located at the bottom of the small shaft, I found that I kept inadvertently turning the vibration up and down while in the process of trying to pleasure myself: a frustrating situation, to be sure.

Unfortunate, really because it could have been so good. Alas, another toy destroyed by an ill-conceived interface design.

· Buy Angel (babeland.com)

Rather than striving to create toys that do as many things as humanly (machinely?) possible, JimmyJane creates products that do a handful of things—and do them really well. Case in point: their signature Little Something vibrators, which offer much, much more than meets the eye.

I admit, I was not particularly impressed when I first laid eyes on a Little Something (in my case, a Little Platinum). It was just, well, little. And smooth. And straight. It didn't conform to my ideas about what a really good sex toy should be.

But then I actually learned about it, and my opinion started to change.

Here are a few of the things I like about the Little Something:

It lasts forever. Okay, maybe not forever, but a really long time. Years, definitely—and once the motor finally kicks, it's easy to remove and replace.

It's powerful. Not Hitachi Magic Wand powerful, but incredibly impressive considering it's powered by a single AA battery.

It's superquiet. Surprisingly so—a definite plus (especially if you happen to have roommates, or just don't like getting distracted by the whine of a motor).

It's bodysafe. The metals in JimmyJane vibes are sterilizable, with no toxic chemicals to mess things up. And, even cooler, it can be used anally as well as vaginally—just run a string through the holes in the cap, and you've got a toy that won't get lost up in there (and remember to sterilize after!).

It's pretty. Granted, that's what JimmyJane is known for, but it's still worth mentioning.

So, with all that in mind, I sat down to test the Little Platinum. And I was impressed. It was a far, far more interesting toy than I'd initially given it credit for: subtle, yes, but still pleasurable and fun to play with.

And, okay, some bells and whistles would have been nice: but the Little Something definitely impressed. What it lacks in fancy features, it more than makes up for in stability and lastingforeverness—and that's the kind of quality you can take to the bank.

· JimmyJane (jimmyjane.com)
· Buy the Little Something (babeland.com)

"What harm could it do," you wonder, as you traipse naked through the forest looking for that secluded picnic table. In the cool breeze, with no one for miles around, you are free to fuck yourself to your heart's content with your favorite vibrator. Oh, too bad you've forgotten that your sticky sweetness will attract all manner of beasts. Like bees to honey? You wish it were just bees, lady. Here comes the biggest monster you've ever seen, literally drooling with hunger for your succulent exposed flesh. Too bad there will be no one around to hear you scream.

· Teresa from CL (xtube.com)

I think of that humorless howl of protest the other day when Dylan Ryan said she liked bacon and was a sex worker. I think of that because I'm about to tell you that the moment something comes close to my prostate, my reaction is the opposite of pleasure. Cocaine also doesn't work for me. Could it be related?

Anyway, when I let my aggressively "sex positive" friends know this, they become militant. Some in a sexy way. And determine that it is their duty to rid me of this "fear."

But it never works. They give up, these porn stars and sex educators. We are reduced to fucking the old dead-white-male patriarchal vaginal way. The "My Ass Says 'Exit Only' way. The horror.

But I've tried.

So this solidly made, powerfully vibrating doodad, which seems thoughtfully crafted to deal with the odd highways and byways of the poop chute is supposed to stimulate your prostate on one end and deliciously agitate your perineum along the ridged edge of the other. I have a feeling it would work for other people, but it didn't work for me. I think it's because I'm a mutant.

· Buy the Bad Boy P-Vibe (blowfish.com.com)

Babeland wants you all to do your civic duty, and is giving away the vibrators as part of their own Economic Stimulus Package. Additionally, the first 100 online orders will get the same fabulous free vibe. For all you late risers, there will be savings in-store and online all day long. Check here for stores and hours.

· Via Babeland Offers Tax Relief in the Form of Free Vibrators (nerve.com)

Eva's first post-pregnancy porn scene was not shot for a DVD or a subscription website—no, Eva's return is showcased on Teagan Presley's AdultBluReview, where she offers up a very naughty review of skinworXXX's "Sun Goddess: Malibu," complete with a very sexy masturbation scene all of her own (see our clip at left).

From what we can tell, the absence from the industry hasn't hurt Eva one bit—if anything, it's just made us all the fonder of her sexy stylings. We're hoping that it won't be long before she gets back into doing hardcore scenes... but just knowing that she's back is enough to make our day.

· Eva Angelina Reviews "Sun Goddess: Malibu" (full video @ adultblureview.com, via pornstarbabylon.wordpress.com)
· Sun Goddess: Malibu (sungoddessxxx.com)