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· "grocery store" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We all know about the delightfully pervertable uses of fruits and vegetables, but sometimes even the tried and true cucumber method can get a little stale. If you want to step it up a notch, why not turn that boring old tuber or melon into a lively vibrator? The fine folks at Homemade Sex Toys have added a new tutorial, with DIY instructions for converting your favorite foods for a buzztastic good time. The construction seems like a pretty simple task, so just add a few extra items to your grocery list and you're in business. At the very least, it should make your next still-life painting session a little more special.

· Make Your Own Produce Vibrator (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Previously: Top Ten Sex Toy Patents, Flesh Flicks: Cucumber Love, Vagetarian Porn, Pumpkin Porn, Melon Balling, Fruity Girls, DIY Masturbator

Have you been eating fucking your vegetables? We admit that with all the yummy holiday treats lying around that there hasn't been as much of the green stuff in our diet lately as there should be, and we fully intend to start eating better once the new year rolls around: It's all about maintaining a good balance, and while we do love our sweets, the garden menu can be pretty filling too. It doesn't even matter if you shop organic or not—we like our health, but we're not freaks about or anything. Unlike some people.

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· "Fucked with a cucumber!" (xTube.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives Vagetarian Porn

We hear that today is World Vegan Day, and while we could never go 24 hours without some bacon and/or good ol' American cheese (each slice individually wrapped with love), we celebrate the day in spirit through this cucumber-flavored video. Some vegetables just seemed to be designed for insertion duty, and even though the quality of this clip is not the greatest, it helps us understand how some folks manage to live without regular hot beef injections. Just remember to wash up before tossing that salad for dinner.

· Masturbating with vegetables (xTube.com)
· World Vegan Day (worldveganday.org)

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Previously: Vagetarian Porn, Flesh Flicks Archives

In their continuing and noble effort to breathe new life and relevance into the same old tired TGP galleries that clutter the interweb, our esteem'd colleagues at Pornzio have decided that 2006 will heretofore be known as "The Year of the Vag-etarian". (And here we were all set to call it "The Year of Keeley Hazell"—but maybe Keeley deserves some rest for a while.) By way of marking the occasion, they present a handful of galleries of gals getting their recommended daily allowance of fresh produce in ways most nutritionists tend to overlook: "These women want only vegetables in their body. And we're talking about in every orifice. Cucumber in the pussy, carrot in the asshole, and a banana in their mouth is a good day in Vag-etarian world. What's next?" With the whole Atkins porn craze come and gone, we can only wonder ourselves.

· "The Year of the Vag-etarian" (pornzio.com)
· See also: Veggie Bang (paysite preview @ veggiebang.com)

More tasty treats from the garden after the jump.

· Olivia's veggie love
· Hentai vegetable videos
· Lesbian vegetable picnic
· In the kitchen with Angel
· Paulette's "large yellow vegetable thing"
· Vegetable object love
· Sabrina deep loves fresh veggies
· Hot pregnant Carla playing with vegetable

(TGP/preview galleries via Ask Jolene)