"Ejacula 2" is just as inscrutable as the first, but damn did porn have money back then. Shot in Europe with an all-star cast including the young Rocco Siffredi and the even-then-only-allowed-to-work-with-his-shirt-on Ron Jeremy, "Ejacula 2" follows the uneven acting of several careless guests, a couple of vampire hunters, Lynn LeMay, and a coven of vampires on one wild weekend featuring, as the boxcover says, "an outdoor BJ" and "ass eating."

This movie symbolizes porn excess in that no one cared if the acting or story or camera work was good as long as the women became naked. Since the women do (in a 14-person orgy scene, no less), to find fault with what is now a cultural artifact seems like elder abuse.

Tonisha Mills and Lynn LeMay look lovely as always, and Ron Jeremy overacts to perfection.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)

Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)
Hustler (hustler.com)
Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)

· Video Clips of Various Actresses from Lesbian Vampire Killers + New Additions to Lists (May 28-June 2)
(upcomingnudescenes.net)

True, one defeats a vampire with a stake of sorts—but it's not the heart that gets impaled... it's the pudenda (are you following us here?). At least, that's the impression we've gotten from this clip of the vampiric Sasha Grey in "Kiss Attack." He's trying to defeat her with his fleshy sword, right?

· Buy "Kiss Attack" (gamelink.com)
· Carlos Batts (carlosbatts.com)

******

Previously: Sangre Bloody Sangre: Carlos Batts' "Kiss Attack"

Or, you know what, maybe they do. In this vignette from Rodney Moore's "Vampires," Luxx first finds herself in the enviable position of having to service jailhouse alpha female Jamie Tyler, a willowy contrast to Luxx's pneumatic juiciness, and then it turns out that Tyler is a vampire minion of Lee Stone, who shows up and renders Luxx all floppy.

Decidedly low-budget (but at the same time made with evident love), the scene features a split screen blowjob which I found fascinating. I found myself rooting for Luxx to get to the goal first.

Say what you will about profiling of any kind by our nation's police, but it doesn't appear as though Luxx' jailhouse experience left her with any scars save the ones on her throat.

· Rodnievision (rodnievision.com)
· Buy "Rodney Moore's Vampires" (gamelink.com)

Halloween Orgy Party (megarotic.com)

Hardcore Halloween (megarotic.com)

Vamp Seduces Vampire Hunters (megarotic.com)

Softcore big tit vampires (pornhub.com)

Hookers in a threesome with a witch (megarotic.com)

Monica Mayhem is the She Devil (pornhub.com)

A Halloween Toast (pornkolt.com)

big tit porn star elizabeth starr in martian green paint (megarotic.com)

Bunny (megarotic.com)

Halloween BJ (pornkolt.com)

Les Vampyres

As you know, the last two horror films set in northern California were John Carpenter's The Fog and Corey Haim's The Lost Boys. So I was half giddy with excitement about James Avalon's AVN-sweeping 2000 movie Les Vampyres.

Castrated men are washing ashore along the scenic Pacific Coast Highway. None of them is John Houseman's Mr. Machen. In the opening scene of Les Vampyres (the only porn movie ever to name-check Peter Ueberroth), we watch as a three-way goes horribly wrong for a poor fellow who finds his junk bitten off by two women he probably thought were his friends

After the credits roll, we meet earnest couple Jenny and Clint (Jewel Valmont and Joel Lawrence), celebrating his job promotion by spending the weekend at a cozy resort. They bump into the uber-creepy Veronika (Syren), Victoria, and Vivian, two-thirds of whom we just saw biting some poor dude's cock off (the poor dude was played by Brick Majors, Brian Surewood's brother). The trio invites the couple to dinner, and they accept.

But back in the room the couple change their minds and decide to order room service instead.

"She had a strange aura about her," Jenny confides. "She made me feel ... different."

Not to worry. Victoria and Vivian are out looking for man-flesh, and boy do they find some, luring a hapless voyeur into some cock-biting.

Veronica has her heart set on Jenny, but Clint, like me, thinks Veronica's loopy.

"But I'm drawn to her," says Jenny. "It's a ... longing."

Meanwhile, now les vampyres have offed a doofus cop who alone was on to their shenanigans. But Clint is also suspicious. Unfortunately, like the other dubious men in the movie, his reservations are not strong enough to resist their temptations, in Clint's case, a sexy vampyre in the shower.

When Veronika finally gets Jenny alone, she informs the quivering blonde of her secret past. And when Jenny is hip to her own supernatural resume, it's curtains for Clint.

Avalon was and is a talented director who makes his stars look their best. While Syren doubtless did the best she could, it is painful to hear her deliver lines. As if anticipating this, a lot of the incidental male parts are just as hokey. Les Vampyres is a very juicy and cable-ready horror porn that holds up well lo these eight years.

Studio: Metro
Director: James Avalon
Cast: Syren, Jewel Valmont, Joel Lawrence, Wendi Knight, Brick Majors, Violet Luv, Jack Hammer, Samantha, Brandon Iron, Nick Orleans

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Metro (metrointeractive.com)
· Buy "Les Vampyres" (gamelink.com)

Vampirass

With a title like Vampirass, I was surprised Suspiriass didn't show up a week later. But what do I know?

I decided to transcribe Rick Blaine's script:

Darkness

SFX: Single wolf HOWL over RAINDROPS

CUT TO:

INT. RICHMAN REAL ESTATE OFFICE

NIKKI RICHMAN is on the phone.

NIKKI
I don't care. I want that listing. Got it?

NIKKI hangs up and immediately begins masturbating. When she is done, the phone rings

SFX: Phone RINGS

NIKKI
Yes, I am the agent for the Delmonico Estate. What a coincidence. I was just thinking about the former owners.

CUT TO:

INT. Delmonico Estate

This video (shot in 1993, it's actually a video on DVD) is filled with pleasant associations. Bright VHS-style lighting, pubic hair, the type of dialogue and editing that will forever be associated with porn movies, and - something I haven't seen before - a sequence where the camera cuts to a guy's face as he says "Ahhh! Lick it off your lips!" and then cuts to the woman's face and holds for two seconds before he comes. It was as if his dialogue actually came later but was inserted before the cumshot by mistake. Fun!

Vampirass is really, really bad. But you know how things have devolved to the point that people say, "It's not 'so bad it's good' bad but actually bad"? Well, this movie fits into that Can't Stop the Music category of So Bad It's Good. I have a feeling that everyone who made the movie (and everyone who subsequently watched it lo these past 15 years) was high.

Especially a woman named Madison, who plays a witch in one of the few flashbacks that actually pertains to the plot (the rest are just excuses for sex). Madison can't seem to get the ants off herself. It shouldn't be funny. It is probably tragic. But everything was funny if it happened a decade and a half ago. Remember the L.A. riots? ROFL!

Turns out the woman who once owned the house was Vanessa (Teddi Austin), who abandoned the home under mysterious circumstances (we see in a flashback what those were). Now her old friend Nikki (Gail Force) has the home listing ("It's the least I could do for Vanessa" she says - ?) and is showing it to a third old friend (Ashley Dunn), who explains that she got $30 million in a divorce, as well as a mulleted bodyguard.

After touring the home, which includes a visit to a room where "Vanessa did rituals" ("This place gives me the creep," Dunn says) Nikki and Dunn go to work on the bodyguard, as the same wolf sound effect repeats in the background. Always be closing, Nikki!

The girls figure out a way to bring back Vanessa from limbo, but crazy Madison has ripped out a page from the spellbook and Vanessa comes back bearing bad news. Since the ritual wasn't followed to the letter, everyone is a vampire!!!!!!!LOL!

SFX: Wolf howls

INT. BASEMENT DUNGEON

The women look up at the camera and they now have vampire teeth.

FREEZE FRAME

CAPTION: We'll be back

Of course they never were. Vampirass is a fantastically awful movie.

Studio: VCA
Director: Michael Black
Cast: Madison, Gail Force, Ashley Dunn, Teddi Austin, Brandi Blaxxx, Tom Chapman, Ted Wilson, Don Fernando, Cameo

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Vampirassto" (gamelink.com)

Jade Starr (xxxhorror.com)

Ariel X (xxxspacegirls.us)

Anna (nerdpr0n.com)

Dana Dark (gothicsluts.com)

Luna (lunascam.com)

Nina (fuckpics2006.com)

Elle (punkgalleries.com)

Terri Summers (terrisummers.com)

Toxxxy (toxxxy.com)

And don't forget...

· My Zombie Pinup Calendar
· Burning Angel's "The XXXorcist" and "Re-Penetrator"
· Zombie Pinups

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

The plot involves Barrett Blade allowing his little head to do the thinking when he picks up a bombshell hitchhiker in the middle of nowhere; they later shack up in a hotel room together to save funds for partying. (You do know how expensive it is to attend Burning Man, don't you?) Along comes supernaturally endowed Voodoo to explain that they're in danger of being eaten alive by blood sucking desert weirdos if they're not careful ... and according to the trailer, that’s pretty much what happens. It's sort of like what a porn(ier) version of "True Blood" might look like minus its Louisiana setting, but with an added dose of pornstars, playa dust, and LSD!

Kaylani Lei is joined by a stellar cast including fellow Wicked contract stars Mikayla Mendez and Stormy Daniels, along with newcomers Tori Black and Scarlet Faye, former Digital Playground starlet Sofia Santi, tushy princess Roxy DeVille, and Fleshbot Crush Object Jenny Hendrix. (Did we mention that we love this cast?)

If nothing else, "The Wicked" should convince everyone that Raven is the perfect choice to helm the next "Lost Boys" installment. After all, who better than Kaylani Lei to keep Corey Haim in line?

• "The Wicked" Trailer (avnlive.com)
• Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
• Order: "The Wicked" (Adult DVD Empire)

. . .

· Photos by Igor @ drivenbyboredom.com
· Joe Gallant/Black Mirror Productions (blackmirror.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Joe Gallant's Vampire Supermodels Gone Wild

Check out what makes our cups runneth over with our exclusive "Kiss Attack" preview gallery after the jump.

. . .

· Carlos Batts Fly Productions (carlosbatts.com)
· April Flores (official site @ fattyd.com)

* * * * *

Previously: April Flores Takes Vegas By Storm, Photoplay: April Flores In The (New) "Voluptuous Life", Interview: April Flores

· "Miho & Sarah Jessie Of Hell's Kittens" (drivenbyboredom.com)
· Joe Gallant/Black Mirror Productions (blackmirror.com)

· "vampire seduces vampire hunters" (Megarotic)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

· Druunatic (druunatic.dk, via Unscathed Corpse)
· Related: Interview with Druunatic (pulpmag.net)

Previously: Minimal Fetish: Maximum Heat, Human Furniture That You Can't Get At IKEA, Meet ShinyAline (And Friends): Freaks Inside

To put things in perspective: when Jim Malibu started his career in the adult industry, Jimmy Carter was president (or maybe Ronald Reagan; we're a little unclear as to the exact chronology); the initials "ATM" stood for neither "automatic teller machine" nor "ass to mouth" since neither had been invented yet; and Jenna Jameson was barely out of diapers. But despite his august and grizzled status in the world of porn, Malibu manages to keep both a fresh perspective on his life's work as well as a finger firmly on the pulse on what the kids (and pervs like us) are into these days with last winter's release of "Pure Pussy Goes Goth", the latest in his long-running and popular "Pure Pussy" series. Considering the fact that we generally get burned out by all those boobies everywhere we look by late afternoon on a Tuesday nearly every week, the man's enthusiasm for his job is something we can all aspire to.

· "Pure Pussy Goes Goth" Review and Jim Malibu Interview (eros-zine.com)
· Jim Malibu (official site @ jimmalibu.com)
· Order: "Pure Pussy Goes Goth" (adultdvdempire.com)

Aside from its obvious utility in trawling for hot babes, another reason we like Flickr so much is because it lets us take a virtual peek into other people's closets and rummage around their porn stash. In fact, some of the material is so good that it makes us kind of jealous: why have we never come across a collection of sexy vampire comics or vintage Turkish girlie mags when sniffing around our local garage sales or rummage shops? Fortunately, the folks at Spanish vinyl poster design studio Plastico Fantastico are most generous when it comes to sharing their sexy finds, as these two Flickr albums featuring—you guessed it!—sexy vampire comics and vintage Turkish girlie mags will attest. We're going to have to start looking at eBay a lot more carefully from now on if we want to keep up.

· "Sukia, la vampira Trash" and "PAZAR. Turkish Magazine. 1966 - 1971 (Flickr, via Dadanoias)

Previously: Turkish Erotic Movie Posters, FlickrCash: Find The Boobs, Glitch Porn on Flickr, Secretbruit on Flickr: Catch Her While You Can, Alexandre1000 on Flickr, Plumpr, Flickr, Blogs and Ethics, CantikFotos on Flickr, Katie West's Self Portraits, Flickrdreams

Sure, we know that this time of year is supposed to be all about renewal and celebrating the exuberance of life and all that, but let's not forget that things like sexy vampires and bloodthirsty fetish babes always deserve their place in the sun too. While artist Greg Loudon's online portfolio features everything from traditional comic book-style drawings to classic pinup illustrations, we're especially interested in the darker fantasy work in his sketchbook, where gun- and knife-toting hotties conspire to give us the best kind of dirty nightmares. After all, there's only so much perky polka-soundtracked Easter Bunny fucking action we can take.

· Desolate Angels (desolateangels.net, via Otomano)

Previously: Autodestruct: Sexy (And Strange) Pinup Art by Paul Richards, Hot 'Toon Babes By Alessandro Scacchia, Sexy Pin-Up Art by Paul John Ballard, Sexy Pinups by Viktor Jung, Mark Wasyl's Drop Dead Sexy Pinups, Sexy Art by Mónica, Porn Art By Buff Monster: "One In The Pink", Morning Wood: Erotic Vampire Alert

Here's another "me too" post, this one piggy backing on our music video hoedown from earlier this week. It's a trio of films from the UK featuring obscure rock bands and naked antics that you won't find on TRL. The groups and their musical styles vary a bit, but all three clips were shot by director Anthony Carpendale and feature lady vampires, flesh-eating zombies, and machine-gun wielding nude avengers. (There's a bit of a running theme.) The music may or may not be your cup of tea, but if being forced to perform for naked guerilla warriors doesn't appeal to you, then it's like we don't know even know who you are anymore.

· "Cool Tattoo" by The Henderson Shatners (mediakiller.com)
· "Sororicide" by Brand Violet (metacafe.com)
· "Late Night Shopping" by Dissolved (Radiohead remix) (direct video link @ zebox.com)
· More info @ Subterranean Films (audio warning, zebox.com)

Previously: More Sexy Music Videos