Seinfeld: A XXX Parody

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Cast: James Deen, Ashlynn Brooke, Sadie West, Evan Stone, Sasha Grey, Cassandra Calogera, Kristina Rose, Natalie Norton, London Keys, Eric John, Tony DeSergio

Review by: Gram Ponante

"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" is the long-anticipated, much-dreaded New Sensations product that seemed to signal the barrelbottom-scraping of the porn parody trend, in which a show with only one vaguely pornable main character out of several non-starters is upended and tweaked for maximum adult entertainment.

What gave "Seinfeld XXX" the greenlight over, say, an equally unlikely pornic adaptation of "Rhoda" was that some of the cast members were born during the run of the original.

For fans of Jerry Seinfeld's nine-season show, there is plenty about the parody to vaguely nod about; the costumes and set are similar, the familiar bass riffs are there, and director Lee Roy Myers even takes a shot at recreating camera angles.

But is it funny? I seem to remember the original show was funny.

Sadly, though it tries really hard, "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" is not funny.

(People say the same thing about me, what with my Ratt references that are introduced and never repeated. Just watch.)

"So what's the deal with the '-ography' on the end of 'pornography'?" asks Gary (James Deen—for some reason producers chose to slightly change each character's first name) in a wraparound standup segment. "It means 'to study something,' right?"

Gary then riffs, Jerry Seinfeld-like, on pornography vs. dickography. Deen has the inflection down and Myers has the lighting down, and there is a laugh track that you want to punch in the face, but neither is the segment funny nor does "-ography" mean "to study something." That's "-ology."

Ditto the ballpark re-creations of Kramer ("Crammer"), the Soup Nazi (Evan Stone as the Porn Nazi), and George ("Gorge"); each is a good try but there is nothing in those performances or the writing that justifies a movie.

Kristina Rose as "Elaina" is the exception. She channels Julia Louis-Dreyfus admirably, and she is the gateway to all that is wonderful about "Seinfeld XXX."

Because Rose's two scenes and those of Ashlynn Brooke, Sasha Grey, Sadie West, London Keys, and Cassandra Calogera stand out; it is the one area in the movie where the contrivances are welcome (Calogera interrupts Gary onstage, the only example in recorded history of a good heckler). And that is a huge relief, because it's a porn movie.

What saves "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (you have to read the XXX as "triple X" rather than "ecks ecks ecks" to make that A work) is that the sex scenes are really good, which means the movie's priorities are in order.

But do parody producers think the audience deserves the tension involved in a series of unfavorable comparisons with the source material just for the releasing capabilities of a Kristina Rose and Ashlynn Brooke in sex scenes that could have been in any other movie?

I guess so, because I really wanted the sex scenes to be good, and the tit pops and cum shots were more important to me than the punchlines and rim shots.

You're out of the cellar for this round, New Sensations; just don't remake "Maude."

Kristina Rose and James Deen
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Steve Pomerantz
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Eric John
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Kristina Rose
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Eric John, Steve Pomerantz, Kristina Rose, and James Deen
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James Deen
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Natalie Norton
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Evan Stone
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London Keys
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Kristina Rose and London Keys
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Ashlynn Brooke
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Ashlynn Brooke and Evan Stone
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Sadie West
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Sasha Grey
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Sadie West, Sasha Grey, and Eric John
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Cassandra Calogera
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James Deen
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Cassandra Calogera and James Deen
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Natalie Norton and Tony DeSergio
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A nihilistic shiver blossoms inside of us, like initial rush after snorting hillbilly heroin, as these angelic ingenues disrobe, both their lascivious costumes as well as any residual inhibition, and transform into uncomplicated engines of desire, ready to provide unspeakable pleasures to anyone bold enough to cross paths with these possessed dolls.

In our minds, the lyrics to a timeless Gun's n' Roses song morph once again into a familiar refrain. You know where you are? You're in a porno, baby. You're gonna fuck—hard.

Whales take chances in high stakes poker games for the rush, the thrill of losing. Mobsters grow addicted to the sound of the gun busting. They grow to need the edge of danger like a hit of adrenaline on the tip of their tongues to feel real and alive. The women that risk their lives and hearts loving these outlaws live for the thrill too. Armstrong exploits these fantasies in a gangsta party turned porno paradise, with each scene topographically reflecting different aspects of known gangster iconography.

Smoky casinos, retro-gothic police stations, and shadowy crime scenes pay homage to the romanticized Hollywood image of the uncompromising gun toting ghosts of legend and the molls that spun fear and chaos into the forbidden meat of a decadent reality even the hardest pornographer will in all likelihood never know.

"Mobster's Ball 2" releases this month from Brad Armstrong and Wicked Pictures. Check out the exclusive gallery we snatched for you.

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And if they're real, should we be worried about Neil Gaiman getting all aggro on us for posting them? Or is that not his style?

UPDATE: We've learned that these are indeed the real thing—put up by Amanda herself.

Amanda Palmer (thesilentorchestra.com)
Amanda Palmer (thesilentorchestra.com)
Amanda Palmer (thesilentorchestra.com)
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His latest tribute to snatch, "King of Coochie 5," continues the tradition he set in place near decades ago of banging the piss out of smoking hot women. With smoldering hot starlets like Riley Shy, Delilah Strong, Memphis Monroe, Cristina Agave, and Christina, "KoC5" definitely delivers.

They may be some of the hottest chicks you've ever seen getting their tight little holes pumped chock full of Byron's fleshy, tumescent scepter, but for the King, it's just another day at the office. Luckily, the years have done little to dull the sense of excitement and enthusiasm in Tom's face as he thrusts his chubby prick into the wet and willing pink holes of these eager starlets until his balls are floating in their sticky juices.

Naturally, we paid a bit of extra attention to sweet young Riley Shy, the white hot redhead, taking a proper dose of rigid tool up her drooling honey pot. The delicate flush of pink that races across her nacre skin as Byron works himself into a froth blossoms across her face like a red rose in June. No words can describe it.

"King of Coochie 5" releases this month from Tom Byron. Check out the exclusive gallery below!

Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
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Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)

So it's with a heavy heart that we must admit that our biggest reaction to "Not The Cosbys" was, well, disappointment. It wasn't the central cast, or the quality of the sex scenes, or the plot, or Thomas Ward as Cliff Huxtable—no, all those things were quite stellar, actually. The thing that left us less than thrilled was actually a (seemingly) minor thing: there were just too many white people in the film.

Now, we're not naive, and we are familiar with porn's...interesting take on race; more to the point, we know that it was already a big deal for X-Play/Hustler to back a project with an all black headlining cast. But was it too much to ask for them to just run with that, and give us a predominantly black "Not The Cosbys"? Apparently so: of the six sex scenes, only one features black-on-black love (well, two if you count Misty Stone's masturbation scene).

But we should tell you more about the things we actually liked about the film.

As with his previous "sitcums," Will Ryder successfully recreates the feel of "The Cosby Show"—especially with the casting of Thomas Ward as Heathcliff Huxtable, clearly a role he was born to play (the man's a shoo-in for Best Non-Sex Performance at the 2010 AVN Awards). The plot, too, is reasonably Cosby-ish: Denise struggles with whether or not to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Malik, Cockroach and Theo sneak into a sexy slumber party, and the family takes a trip to Hillman (our fingers are crossed in the hopes that "Not The Cosbys 2" includes some "A Different World" crossover).

And then, of course, there's the sex: first up is the aforementioned Denise (Misty Stone) masturbation scene (clearly intended to relieve some of the stress of her virginity-related angst). Next we find ourselves following Denise and her boyfriend Malik (Dick James) to a co-ed sleepover, which naturally turns out to be an all out orgy. Uncomfortable with the pressure to perform, Denise leaves—and, of course, her boyfriend stays, and wild sex ensues.

And this is where the feature takes its first—and biggest—misstep. It's an unwritten rule of porn parodies that the more invented characters a porn parody relies on, the weaker it is; so to have the first major sex scene entirely populated with invented characters (and predominantly white ones, at that) is a big strike against the feature.

Thankfully, the rest of the scenes manage to include at least one Cosby character in the mix. Scene Three finds Theo (Tyler Knight) and Cockroach (Tee Real) heading back to the sleepover/orgy, where Theo gets it on with stripper Charmaine (Tori Black); Scene Four is a flashback to Claire's (Monica Foster) time at Hillman, with Danny Mountain as her college boyfriend; Scene Five pairs Vanessa (Melody Nakai) and Cockroach (Tee Real), for some much anticipated all black sex; and, capping it all off, Denise loses her virginity (on her parents' bed, no less!) to Patrick (Scott Lyons) in the very final scene.

In the same way that "The Cosby Show" helped white families across America welcome a middle class black family into their homes, we'd been hoping that "Not The Cosbys XXX" would help white porn consumers enjoy the pleasures of all black love. Alas, it seems we raised our hopes too high. But hey, a big studio feature with this many black performers is still nothing to sneeze at. Here's hoping it's the first step in a more colorful future of porn.

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· Sitcums (sitcums.com)

Yet the suggestion that Mya G, Amile Waters, Stacie Lane, Pursuajon, Sabara, Aryanna Starr, and Loucious Louis are somehow subservient to their masters throbbing appendage is almost comical in this the third installment of Alexander DeVoe's "Black Ass Master" series. If anything, the girls are more like the brave souls aboard the Amistad, each possessing an indefatiguable spirit, each willing to rise up against their masters, or in this case, give back as good as they get it.

Now that we've reached the third volume, a lot of the original shock has worn off, over the inherent word play in the title and what it suggests, dredging up memories of an almost unimaginable time in human history when people just like you or I could be bought and sold and used for whatever purposes another saw fit—no matter how despicable.

It's good, because it would be a shame to allow that kind of terrible reference to distract from the incendiary performances turned in by these mocha skinned beauties. Mya, in particular, captivates us with her succulent curves glistening with a thin sheen of hard earned sweat while presenting her juicy gash high up in the air to be drilled by meaty lengths of turgid man pipe. The hunger dancing in glistening nightshade of her raw animal stare while she devours cock sends a preternatural shiver through our intrepid loins in lusty anticipation. No one witnessing such a rare display of unadulterated sexual fury would dare suggest that she was unwillingly being subjugated.

In his attempts to skyrocket to the position of top dawg, making him to porn what the legendary Suge Knight is to rap, Devoe has done quite well from himself over at Jules Jordan. His vision has allowed him to excel, if not to Death Row heights, then at least to the same level of Jermaine Dupree. He may not be the Hova of Jules Jordan Video (that spot is reserved for Jules himself) or the Kanye West of JJV (which in all actuality is probably more Jenna Haze's role) but he is solid enough not to be called Beanie Sigel. Truth be told, Alexander DeVoe, with his savvy business acumen, is much more like the Damon Dash of the JJV dynasty, but with the tenacity of Memphis Bleek.

"Black Ass Master 3" releases this week from Alexander DeVoe and Jules Jordan Video. Take a look at the pictures below for a fine example of what Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails once referred to as "happiness in slavery."

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These couples have the balls not only to get it on in front of a mirror, but also to video tape the deed and post it on the internet. Talk about vanity. And/or jealousy.

mirror oh mirror (xtube.com)

Lights & Mirrors (xtube.com)

Fucked in a hotel corridor (yuvutu.com)

bedroom video mirror (xtube.com)

sucking cock with a facial (yuvutu.com)

Oral (yuvutu.com)

fucking her standing up (yuvutu.com)

Dave & Tracey-Fun Fucking (xtube.com)

Mirror (xtube.com)

mirror head!! (xtube.com)

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

We don't have to wait another 362 days for more night time fireworks when we've got the bloggers included in this week's round up steamy sex blog moments. They're set to blow every night, and by "blow" we mean "indulge in wildly passionate erotic encounters." On the dining room table, in the van, out in a tent or even *gasp* in the bedroom, they light up the night with their own big booms. Watch out so that you don't get your fingers burned because these folks are hot.

—-—-

A letter for my lover… #2

You'll carry me from against the wall and lay me gently on the dining table. You'll take my legs in to your hands and place them over your shoulders, pulling my hips to the very edge.

—DirtyAngel

—-—-

There's This Hallway In This Bar That's Just Right…

I don't know what I meant for him to do harder – pinch my nipple or bite my neck. I think he did both and I think I moaned aloud. His lips grazed my flushed skin to my breast and then were wrapped forcefully around the same nipple he had been pinching. I slowly opened my eyes as I realized what this meant. My entire breast was exposed.

—This Could Be Dangerous

—-—-

Tent Liasons

They held me, between them. I eventually gave up trying to reciprocate and threw my head back, focused on breathing and the sensations. He held me, my torso and head, while his hand stroked my clit, surrounded my lower lips, held me and pleasured me. She held my leg fast to her hip, and steadied us both.

—Thru the Eyes of a Fornicator

—-—-

From Behind

He ran his nails up and down my ribs. A gesture both tickling and gentle - almost incongruent with the carnal violation that we both knew was forthcoming. With the other hand he unclipped my bra and threw it with more than a little drama across the room.

—Bringing my Sexy Back

—-—-

Some porn. The newsy kind.

My head is shoved over his balls while he pushes my face all into them, mashing my face down until my mouth is full of his sac. Then he smashes my face down harder 'til I can't breathe. Then yanked up by my hair, I am again shoved down, this time over his erect cock. Shoved all the way down until I am gagging, his one hand on the back of my head, the other around my throat, pushing on it, choking me further.

—doubleknot's ruminations

—-—-

The Eighth

...I eagerly grabbed at his long, fat cock as he gasped in pleasured shock. I dropped to my knees on the hard metal floor of the van, topless now but still in my jeans, latched onto his broad hips with my scrabbling fingers, and began to suck on that cock. It was so wide, I had to stretch my lips around it. By now, he had his own strong fingers in my hair, and we found a quick, urgent rhythm that had him deep in my throat, and pulsing, then erupting quickly while I licked and swallowed him.

—Indiscretion

*****

· Thumbnail star: Melissa Midwest (melissamidwest.com, via Ask Jolene)
· Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Point of view. It's brilliant. You simply hire the girls you have always wanted to fuck, hold the camera while you nail them, and capture the whole thing for future generations to witness.

That's exactly what Kevin Moore has done. He shoots himself fucking hot chicks like Jenna Haze, Lexi Belle, Brianna Love, Mariah Milano, and Priva, drilling them deep in every position he can think up before unloading down their young pink throats, then passes the bill along to you. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? It's enough to drive us insane!

Luckily, he gets really good footage, allowing us to seamlessly transitions in our minds into the role he is actually playing, and pretend for just one moment that it is indeed us getting the love and not some guy we don't know.

Watching the succulent little Jenna Haze and Lexi Belle worship our throbbing cock is pure poetry. The only thing better or more real would be the actual thing, which is saying a lot if you think about it statistically. We could pseudoscrew these tight little delights in our minds all day long—we should know, because we already do. Kevin just provided us with new angles we hadn't thought of yet.

"Pornstar POV" releases this month from Doghouse. Check out the Monday morning gallery we hooked up for you. There's just one question left: why did it take so long for people to come up with this concept?

Brianna Love
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We're giving you—yes, you—the chance to name this girl. Wrack your brain for the greatest and best porn name ever (note: Gram's already got the rights to Sassy McSassypants), then leave your submissions in the comments (we'll be collecting them all week!). After this lovely lady and her people have had a chance to think things over, we'll be back next week with the top five selections—which you, yes, you, get to vote on.

But wait, there's more! Because your creativity deserves a reward, anyone who lands in the coveted top five slots will receive an autographed 8"x10" from Porn's Next It Girl. And as for the lucky winner of this contest—not only will you gain eternal bragging rights, you'll also receive a thank you phone call from Porn's Next It Girl herself!

So what are you waiting for? Get to brainstorming—or at least browsing through this gallery for a little inspiration.

Disclaimer: Please note: If you submit a name idea and it is chosen as the model's new stage name, pursuant to the contest rules and agreement, you relinquish any ownership or claims to the name. At this point the model owns the name and any rights associated with this name. Claims to names that are not chosen pursuant to the contest rules remain under your ownership and are free to be used again.

Thank you, Rihanna, for giving us some photo evidence to compare with these alleged nudes. Soon the mystery will be solved (perhaps)!

Rihanna (taxidrivermovie.com)
Rihanna's gaping tuxedo reveals bare chest with just two sequinned petals to spare her modesty (dailymail.co.uk)
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Rihanna's gaping tuxedo reveals bare chest with just two sequinned petals to spare her modesty (dailymail.co.uk)
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Rihanna's gaping tuxedo reveals bare chest with just two sequinned petals to spare her modesty (dailymail.co.uk)
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Rihanna's gaping tuxedo reveals bare chest with just two sequinned petals to spare her modesty (dailymail.co.uk)
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Packed with all the essential vitamins and nutrients a body needs to thrive, "Jana Cova's Juice" is nature's wonder—like, say, the acai berry that Oprah won't shut up about. The same way sailors would suck on a lime to prevent scurvy, we suck on a healthy slurping of "Jana Cova's Juice" to keep ourselves hard and alert at all times, and, yes, we mean hard like Viagra. Take that Susan Summers!

Wait? What's that? We've just been informed that "Jana Cova's Juice" is not a penis extending super fruit smoothie from the rainforest, but rather the latest Celeste release from the geniuses over at Digital Playground. It's an honest mistake anyone could make. We thought she made it from scratch every morning with loving kindness.

Radiant Jana is joined in the release by an amazing cast of friends and rivals including delicious Latin beauty Alexis Love, scintillating lesbian Celeste Star, the unforgettable Lena, busty raven tressed beauty Audrey Bitoni, spicy seductress Mikayla, drop dead beauty Alektra Blue, breathtaking cocksucker Paulina James, and last (but far from least) the incomparable Carli Banks, whom we have tried endlessly to get to hook up with us to no avail. Are there any better breasts in the entire world than the ones this Hawkeye was given at birth? Of course not. (That was a trick question.)

With a line up this extraordinary, we aren't sure what else you could possibly want to know about a title? Just go get it immediately—if not sooner.

"Jana Cova's Juice" comes out this week. Drink down all the magic goodness below but remember, all these pictures are the exclusive property of Digital Playground and cannot be used without their consent, which we have but you don't. Just saying.

Jana Cova and Carli Banks
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The couples in these videos may not be incredibly informational, but they're way more fun to watch than some of their animal kingdom counterparts when they "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

Doggy Style Fucking (xtube.com)

Big Tits Bouncing (xtube.com)

Reverse Cowgirl in HD very loud (xtube.com)

Jessica gets fucked from behind and a facial (xtube.com)

Girlfriend Doggie Style and Cum… (xtube.com)

mormon couple doing it doggy style (xtube.com)

a little doggie action on the couch (xtube.com)

Nailing my girlfriend from behind (xtube.com)

Us Fucker, Her Cuming, Me Cuming (xtube.com)

sex with ex (xtube.com)

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

While you're celebrating America's independence by eating German potato salad, drinking Irish whiskey and lighting off explosives which were made in China, take a few moments to enjoy this week's tasty bits of the international sex blogosphere. Ever wanted to fuck a hotwife? Watch a spanking show? Pin a wiling girl to the hood of your car and do her, Whitesnake-style in the rain? Then read on, good people; read on. Madeline knows that enjoying a slice of your favorite pie rates high on the all-American meter. Better yet, make your own, you know, creampie.

—-—

Hotwife Conclusion

I walked her to the bed, hard on leading the way, and laid her down so she could face her husband. I remember thinking to myself that this wasn't real, that I was gonna fuck someones wife...WITH PERMISSION.

- Confessions of an Adulterer

—-—-

Heat

In other news, the 21-year-old turned up a couple of weeks ago. She texted me "what would you do if I told you I was outside the office right now?". My answer, unfotunately, was "nothing", as I was in an all-day meeting. She should start work nearby soon, so with luck the next time she asks I'll be able to reply "drag you into the washroom of the local Starbucks, push you to your knees, and slip my cock between those pretty lips of yours".

- Mendicatus

—-—-

Daisy

Mistress Daisy stood calmly to one side while some minions brought out a sturdy-looking spanking horse. She motioned one of the boys - the one with the erection - to bend over it, then she tied his hands and feet to the legs with a length of black rope.

Taking her time, she picked up her final, most spectacular demonstration piece - a coiled bullwhip of glistening black leather.

- MonMouth

—-—-

Fantasy

One night, when we're having crazy sex in his hotel room after a romentic dinner, and I was showing my bare ass to his face while I was riding on him, he said, "God, I want to fuck your ass so bad...." - he knew then I wasn't going for it, but at that right moment, I realized how bad he wanted it. And I wanted to give him what he'd desired immensely because he'd given me so much joy, how could I not give the same in return?

- No Turning Back

—-—-

Storm

The kiss was fierce and the hot summer rain had made it impossible not to feel his stiffening cock underneath the second skin of wet clothing. But when his knee crept up the hood of the car, underneath my clinging skirt, and against my panties, I knew there was no way he thought the rain had made me that wet right there.

- Coquitten

—-—-

High School Bully part 4

"Oh, Billy," I said, trying to catch my breath as his mouth worked down to my chest, "I need you. I want you. I need to fuck you."

He pulled away suddenly. Had I said something wrong? No, it wasn't that. He didn't recoil in horror. Instead, he smiled, falling to his knees and taking my cock in his mouth. It was the first time anyone had ever done that to me and I nearly lost my load the moment I felt his tongue running along the underside of my erection.

- Prurient Interests

******

· Thumbnail star: Simony Diamond (nshoneys.com)
· Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

The picture stars Bonny Bon, Nicole Evans, Jasmine Rouge, and Debbie White—and the amount of cock these dazzling ladies can take up inside their slick innards is nothing short of extraordinary. We've all dated girls who can't take more than five minutes of serious pounding. Usually the prettier the girl, the less cock she can handle (notable exceptions include Stoya, Sasha, Joanna, and Dana DeArmond—who is still seeing the internet.).

The girls in Pink Visual's "Gangbang Junkies 3," however, take on five or six guys at a time, and we mean really take them on, wearing these seasoned cock slingers out in the process. We're certain that half the guys involved in the filming of this release went home and cried. After leafing through this explicit sampling sent over by the company we can't say we blame them.

These girls are smoking hot and full to the hilt of throbbing fuck stick. Real man eaters here. See for yourselves if you don't believe us. They might actually redefine the word insatiable for these talented young ladies.

"Gangbang Junkies 3" comes out next month, but we here at Fleshbot are so well connected that we got a hold of this exclusive sneak peek gallery today. Try to think of creative new way to thank us, okay?

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After living through the Bush years, where ironically double and triple anal became regular staples of even mediocre gonzo, we're wary of any title that boasts being both anal & extreme. Lucky for us, those days seem to have washed away, flushed out clean like a Fleet enema.

We're not sure what it is about European girls and anal sex. One side of the argument suggests that being raised in a less sexually repressive environment lends girls on the other side of the pond elastic powers of anal curiosity and the exploring spirit of a sexual Amelia Earhart. How do we explain young Republican girls going straight to the A then? What's Europe got that we can't emulate through our own rich history of twisted taboos?

Whatever the reason, Digital Sin promised us twelve scenes of non-stop ass pounding in nearly five full hours of butt fucking in their newest compilation series "Anal Extreme"—and, for the uneducated, let us just tell you that Tyrone Shoes does not lie when it comes to ass sex.

He lines up Euro anal spelunkers Katy Angelica, Janet, Claudia Clio, Dani Blonde, Barbara Summer, Mya Diamond, Matali, Angela Winter, Susanne Brend, Black Diamond, Lara Stevens, Cindy Lords, Kitty Sixx, Bibi Fox, Lilana Ferri, Liz Honey, and Jessica Gayle—then makes sure that they get good and gaped in our favorite new orifice.

"Anal Extreme" roars into stores this week from Digital Sin. Anal is back baby. See for yourself.

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Kelis said it best, "When he want it he blindfolds me/Then I get sexy on him" because honestly, what's sexier than a blindfolded girl sucking cock?

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ButterflyKisses gets a facial (yuvutu.com)

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

'Tis a simple thing, really, to turn on the air conditioner when the mercury rises, but we applaud those who take a different approach, a more natural approach, a greener approach. In this week's roundup of steamy sex blog moments we find our intrepid bloggers cooling off in the produce aisle, during a drawn-out celebratory dinner and by means of thinly-sliced vegetables. Who needs a fan when you've got sex on your mind?

—-—--

Book Store and Brussels Sprouts

She had been standing at the produce counter picking out Brussels sprouts, when she'd felt a man come up from behind and press himself against her. She heard, "Be still", from above her head. By the voice and angle, she knew it was that tall man she had been chatting with; he had said he would be around soon. She stirred and he said, "Stay, close your eyes."

—A View from the Top

—-—-

Dessert

She put her hands on top of my head, pulling my hair firmly as I started to suck her lips between mine, suck her clit between my teeth, swirly my tongue around her. After all this time, all these years, I've never gotten tired of the sounds she makes when she gets off... whether during those hour long fucking sessions of our youth, or those late night times when she touched herself and thought I was asleep, or now, on the couch, biting her bottom lip and moaning for my finger.

—We Sleep Together

—-—-

After the Wedding

I have been watching you all though the wedding. You flashed me a view of that sweet cunt across the aisle as you sat down and the look on your face was perfectly clear. You want to be used as nothing more than a series of holes to satiate as many men as possible. I know that you are a dirty little slut and you are so proud of it. You need to be taught a lesson.

—Minivan Libertine

—-—-

cucumber

elise leaned forward. "i want you to slice them thinner. Paper thin. So that i can wrap your cock in them." She slipped a hand across his abdomen and down the front of his jeans. His cock was hard against her palm. "Would you let me do that, love? i could apply them, one by one, until i've covered your entire cock with the cool, wet circles … and then suck them off." She smiled and made a little purring sound. "Or i could cover you with them, close my fingers around you, and slide them up into my open, waiting, mouth."

—… solipsubmissive …

—-—-

Saturday Anal

No foreplay. No kissing. My wife just lay back on the carpet and spread her legs. She was sopping wet. I slid inside her like a hot knife into butter.

—Champagne and Benzedrine!

—-—-

DP No. 1

Alberto was on his back while I mounted him. I slid my pussy over his cock. Without preamble I felt Esteban's cock pushing into my ass. I remember holding still so Esteban's cock could work its way into my ass. And then I had a cock in my pussy and another cock in my ass at the same time and it was fucking glorious. It felt so good.

—Random Rim Jobs

*****

· Thumbnail star: Masuimi Max (glamourtryouts.com, via Ask Jolene)
· Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Stuart Canterbury, a name from porn past, helms this less than scary parody starring Britney Amber, Ryder Skye, Kenzi Marie, Claudia Valentine, Tricia Oaks, Aiden Starr, Jackie Avalon, and Lilly Kingston.

While there may not be any thrilling parallels to horror movies, we do find it frightfully good watching Ryder Skye take a diabolical drilling at the hands of a madman as out of his mind as Leatherface. Oh, and seeing young stunner Aiden Starr demolish herself on a cock is enough to make us drool like the undead. Wow. Will we ever get sick of her tight and tiny curves? The answer is no. We won't.

As for the zombie porn, we are glad that Hustler knows to leave it where it belongs—in Rob Rotten's capable hands.

"The Whores Have Eyes" releases this week from LFP and Hustler Video on both standard and Blu Ray. Check out our gallery and see if it's your thing.

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The feature follows Tristan's standard format: we begin with a lecture, in which Tristan goes over the basics of anal play and anatomy. Then, special assistants Penny Flame and Devin are brought in for a little "hands on" demonstration. With Tristan there to guide them, they walk us through the basics of going through the back door—with a lot of helpful tips along the way. (One we especially loved: Penny learns how to keep her luscious long nails from doing damage to her partner's parts!)

With the education out of the way, it's time to get down to the sex. Tristan leaves Penny and Devin to their own devices, which happily involve strapon play. Their romp is followed by Annie Cruz and Nomad, who take the opportunity to explore Annie's butt as well as Nomad's (see? Anal play really is for everyone!). Last, but certainly not least, Jandi Lin and Christian XXX team up to show that there's more than one way for boys to get it up the butt: rather than submit to a strapon, Christian wears a prostate plug while he gives Jandi the what for. (Oh, also she shoves a dildo in him, too. Delicious!)

It's worth noting that this DVD is a bit of a slow starter. In order to properly educate, the sex scenes spend a lot of time focusing on warm up: the couples all take a lot of time to make sure the boys' butts are good and ready before they get to the slambam action. It's still hot, of course, but if you're specifically interested in nothing but buttfucking, be advised that you'll have to fastforward a bit to get there.

There are a lot of thoughtful details in the release that we really, really loved: whenever a toy is shown, a pop up note comes on screen to tell you what, exactly, you're looking at and who makes it (all the better to find it for yourself!). The DVD extras on anal hygiene and enemas, choosing a harness, and solo prostate stimulation are also appreciated (the last one's especially good for anyone who enjoys watching boys jack off).

In fact, there was really only one disappointment in the whole release: we were kinda bummed that Christian doesn't get his butt fucked by a strapon. Yes, we realize it's important to show multiple modes of stimulation, and we do appreciate that boys can like butt play without wanting to bend over...but hey, can you really blame us for wanting to see Jandi Lin give it hard and good to Christian?

Maybe our prayers will be answered one day...perhaps in an "Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex for Men"?

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Chloe Nichole shortened her name to Chloe, but then another performer named Chloe died from an overdose. Since both Chloes had histories of drug abuse (the former Ms. Nichole is now sober), many people thought that the woman dubbed "The Linda Blair of Porn" for her full-throated, hoarse, eye-rolling appreciation of her partners was the same Chloe who died, especially since the Linda Blair-Chloe disappeared (for back surgery) around the same time as the less fortunate Chloe.

Of course, many people knew exactly where Chloe had been, but I bring this up because a post mentioning Chloe a month ago drew some e-mails concerned about whether her whereabouts were above or below ground.

In any case, Chloe returns for her first post-surgery boy/girl scene with the respectful Tom Byron in "Seasoned Players 9." Byron has been performing since the early 80's and has, in the past few years, enjoyed a renaissance of his own, so to his credit he makes the comeback girls feel comfortable and - I think - pretty.

And Chloe does not disappoint. She admits that she doesn't watch her scenes, so there isn't any porn-star posturing borne from hours spent honing her poses; she just throws her head back and yells.

And that is why these photos just don't do Chloe justice, because she's always writhing - you have to pin her down with whatever part of yourself that becomes available.

Welcome back, Chloe - to that same old place that you screamed about.

· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)
· Tom Byron (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 9" (gamelink.com)

While we're sure it beats working as a hostess at Tony Roma's or babysitting, we're not sure these little ladies have thought through the consequences of their actions. Clearly, Shane is too big for a legal teen girl's snatch. He should be plowing experienced MILF's with that thing, or maybe Octomom, or Paris Hilton on a coke binge.

What we are getting at is that Shane Diesel is not "starter cock." No. He should come with a warning, the way hot coffee does, or a ladder at Walmart or those annoying signs at amusement parks. "You must be at least this slutty to ride Shane Diesel"—that might work.

Still you would never know these girls recently traded in their amateur status, given the way they take to the monster meat. There they go, cramming it enthusiastically into their tiny mouths and all the way up their drooling pink juice boxes. They waste no time, believe that, riding away until their eyes look like they will pop out of their little heads and they squirt hot nectar all over, marinating Shane's dusky balls. Come on, Shane. You know damn well no mortal man will ever please them like that again for the rest of their lives. You're condemning these blossoming young sexpots to a life of yearning for what they can never recreate.

Let's just hope their future husbands never see this movie. The rest of us, well, it's Friday, so, we're going to enjoy the foibles of their reckless youth.

"I Can't Believe I Took the Whole Thing #19" comes out this week. Go crazy. No, literally. Go. Crazy.

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New Sensations (newsensations.com)

If you've been to the pool or the beach, you know what we're talking about. The bounce. The jiggle. The way a naked stomach looks when its owner reaches for a cool drink on a hot summer day. If you've been getting your skin fix online, well, we can't really blame you. It's hot, and some Fleshbot staffers have resorted to taking cold showers just to stay sane.

This week, Madeline's serving up the sexy real nice. Try not to let it dribble down your chin.

—-—

Bite Marks

I don't bruise easily. I rarely have marks that last more than a few hours. I do today.

The one on my neck concerned me the most. I don't like looking totally trampy when in public. You don't really notice unless I point it out, though.

-Between My Sheets

—-—-

The treble - fail, finished, well and truly done

"What the fuck was that about?" I thought, when I regained the ability to think. I had squirted dark patches over his bed sheets, left droplets down his torso and legs that shone in the light and somehow had spattered myself from belly to shoulder.

I asked, "How do you do that? I haven't squirted, don't squirt and now you've done it more than once!"

-The Dirty Blonde

—-—-

Body of Love, Body of Flesh

I feel more truly human when you are near to my body, when I can sense you needing my skin. I would wrap myself all in and around you if it were not for physics.

Damn you, science.

-Allegory of an Underage Femme Fatale

—-—-

i want

I felt him buck underneath me, his cock driving in and out of my pussy, making my moans resonate in his ear. He threatened to cum if I continued with my oral assault. Why would I stop? I smiled as I felt him cum inside me. His cock continued to pulse for what seemed like minutes.

-At Longing's End

—-—-

Covert

He rubs my clit in small circles and I believe for just a moment that I will be able to pull this off without anyone knowing. The room is crowded and noisy and no one seems to be paying any attention to us.

Except for Finn's best friend Jared.

-Ambient Storm's Provocative Persiflage

—-—-

The Romance of Cocksucking by Candlelight

It's warm and we're naked, we kiss, he kneels alongside my head so that I, without too much effort can lazily take him into my mouth. Everything is going along fine. He looks beautiful, long sleek body poised right there. He feels so good on my tongue, in my throat. He stifles little groans. I suck quietly as his hands roam all over my body.

-Wilful Damage

*****

· Thumbnail Star: Peach (stunners.com)
· Sex Blog Roundup Archive

We knew better than to waste the good stuff. Plus, we were, you know, pretty loaded—and we didn't have Skinemax.

Director Mark Wood remembers those glorious days before the 80's came along, bringing with it such tragedies as crack rock and AIDS and Newt Gingrich, ruining the fuck out of everything. Mark hasn't stopped trying to correct all that's gone wrong since. We promise you that. He just keeps the beautiful smutty smut rolling out over at Red Light District like it's the summer of '69.

And today he drops his 8th installment of "Wasted Youth," featuring smoldering, morally unfettered beauties Tenaya, Misty Rivers, Megan Moore, Mindy Linn, Natalia Ross, and Sunset Diamond.

Mark understands the situation and the dire emotional consequences that go along with leaving these stunners totally untouched. Just like us, he sees these unbelievably hot girls, so young, so fresh, so very very tight, going to waste with the same terrible disgust and angst a Republican feels when they see acres of beautiful unspoiled rainforest not being clear cut or purple mountains majesty not being strip mined. Somewhere Stephen Colbert is weeping thinking about it right this very moment.

"Wasted Youth Volume 8" comes out today. Check out our killer gallery—you'll totally grock it.

Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
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Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
Red Light District (clubredlight.com)

But what kind of dirty content will there be? So far, the only 17+ app is Hottest Girls, a slideshow, of, well, hot girls in various stages of undress. Nice as it is, we'd love to see something a little more hardcore hit the app store—and we've got a whole bunch of ideas for what those apps should be like. So to all you wouldbe entrepreneurs: get out your pens, and prepare to meet the idea that's gonna make you a millionaire.

Fyre TV for the iPhone. Fyre TV offers access to a constantly growing database of streaming porno movies. What if you could tap into that database with your iPhone? It'd be pretty awesome, wouldn't it.

RubMyClit 2.0. Back in the dinosaur days of the iPhone, an intrepid soul put together an iPhone-friendly web app that gave you the chance to get a girl off. It was popular then, and with a few tweaks, it could be even more popular now. Replace the illustration of a vulva with an actual, factual girl; offer different choices of girls to stimulate...and maybe some different methods of stimulation...and you could have a real winner on your hands. It's like an interactive porno, only better (hopefully).

Upcoming releases. Many studios already release iPod-friendly trailers. What if you could arrange for said trailers to automatically download to your phone—like magic? Sign up to be notified of releases from your favorite studios (or even just favorite video lines), and never be uninformed again. Even better: enable one-click purchasing, allowing you to easily buy whatever vids tickle your fancy.

Integrated XTube. YouTube is already set up on to work on the iPhone. Imagine if someone created a similar set up for XTube or [insert your favorite tube site here]? Ooh, the possibilities.

Sexy skins. An erotic theme for your iPhone desktop, complete with naked lady wallpaper, erogenous zone icons, and orgasmic sound effects. Imagine if every time someone called you, your phone moaned in ecstasy? (Okay, granted, this app would probably appeal mostly to frat boys—but frat boys are people too. People with money.)

And those are just some of our ideas. We can already feel the millions rolling in...what would you like to see on your (real or imaginary) iPhone?

· Thumbnail stars: Faye Reagan and Georgia Jones

YouTube: It's not just for laughs anymore.

SEXY Blondes dancing & kissing (youtube.com)

Nena SEXY dance (youtube.com)

OMG SEXY GIRL DANCING (youtube.com)

The Best Damn Sexy Girl Booty Dance Video Period! "Belladonna" MegaMix pt. 2 (youtube.com)

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And not only did we manage to get these two lovely ladies to take off their clothes together: we also managed to talk legendary photographer Lithium Picnic into photographing them. And now, after months of teasing, we're finally able to show you the results of that momentous occasion.

So, for your enjoyment (and exclusively on Fleshbot): Stoya and Joanna Angel, naked together. Our thanks to Digital Playground, Burning Angel, and Lithium Picnic Studio for making this happen. (And if anyone wants to do a reunion, same time next year, we'll totally book a spot at the Venetian, pronto.)

Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)
Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Joanna Angel courtesy of Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Photo by Lithium Picnic Studio (lithiumpicnic.com)

Or we could just fuck the shit out of her with our tongue. Regardless of whatever method works best, these men and women know that the pleasure they bring their partner is epic enough to be recorded, uploaded, and watched over and over again.

Eatin the diane out (xtube.com)

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Lesbian Interracial Twosome Kissing Oral Sex Fingering Licking Erotic Amateurs (yuvutu.com)

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Licking Jessica to orgasm. (xtube.com)

Fucking & Licking (yuvutu.com)

Pussyeater10466 (xtube.com)

she tells me to spread her pussy just before she cums (yuvutu.com)

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

Gawd we love cock. We love bio cock, strap-on cock, even metaphorical cock. The bloggers in this week's roundup of rock-hard sex blog tales love it too. They love stroking it and sucking it and riding it, so go on and have a look at all the fun they have, won't you? Perhaps you'll be inspired to create your own cock tales afterward.

—-—-

Following a Mouse, Part One

Another woman knelt on a pillow very energetically sucking off a man.

The man being pleasured looked about fifty. He was average height and weight, balding and well groomed. He had a hungry grin and intense eyes and as Penelope came upon this wild scene he called to her and seemed to give her orders. I couldn't hear what he said, but Penelope lowered her head and then took off her jacket.

—writingdirty

—-—-

Great Sex

It turns out it was comfortable for him, and it was certainly exciting, different and pleasurable for me. I had one orgasm with him on top, and one with him penetrating my pussy from behind me (a rather rare position for me to come in, actually). Somewhere in there I also climbed on top of him and rode the dildo.

Then, we explored what I could do with my mouth on his cock that would be pleasurable for him in his state. Sucking worked just fine, and I enjoyed doing that until he asked me to climb on board. With me on top of him and his cock inside me, he went somewhere blissful, and came hard.

—Pornocracy

—-—-

Happy 2nd Blogiversary!

His hand moves faster then, and I see the precum begin to leak from the tip, making my mouth water and my head reel with the desire to lick every inch of his body—starting right at the tip of his cock. I encourage him by playing with myself and his fingers start to move faster, stopping every so often to spread the precum around the tip of his cock and making me shake with need. I want his fingers on me, in me. In every hole in my body until I'm screaming and cumming, but I want his cum so much more.

—ALWAYS ON

—-—-

The Tale of Jezebel and the Head Mistress, PT2

Sure, we have all seen a girl balance a book on her head as she gracefully crosses a room. But naked, on her knees, and with a wicked ruler ready to make contact with her already red bottom the moment the book even made the slightest shift? Don't get me started on how tricky it is doing all that while one's mouth is full.

—...and the strangest things seem, suddenly routine

—-—-

ENGULFED

Sometimes, strung out like that, I imagine that I am her. I can taste his cock and the sweetness of his cum as he unloads. I feel the muscles in his legs and long for him to be inside me forever. I feel his great cock plunge deep into my soul.

—Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse

—-—-

Dressing Room Fantasy

Your body is pressed against me as my hands explore. My eyes meet yours briefly in the mirror and I smirk at your confused yet aroused expression. I cup your breast, tweaking the nipple lightly through your clothing. That elicits a moan that sends heat shooting between my legs. I pinch harder and the moan that I get in response is loud enough for me to remind you that there are people all around us. You swallow loudly and nod. You don't want to get caught.

—Phaedra Fallen

*****

· Thumbnail star Eva Angelina (naughtyamerica.com)
· See also: Sugasm #168 (sugasm.com)
· Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Yes. sometimes it's all about the simple pleasures in life...like biting into a cool watermelon on a hot day and letting the sweet juice drip down our chins.

Jenaveve Jolie, Madelyn Marie, Shannon Silva, Heather Starlet, Sarah Vendella, and Charlie Lynn play the watermelon in this scenario, while Eric Everhard and his closest friends play the part of the hard, deep bite.

It's been a hot minute since we checked in with Eric Everhard. Still, it was no surprise to learn that he's just been fucking around in our absence...a lot.

Mr. Everhard drops his latest Jules Jordan release today—and we couldn't be happier for the simplicity. Check out the graphic and delightful gallery below.

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Secondly, unless we're really being held back on, it looks like the most boring sex tape ever (maybe even more boring than Kim Kardashian's). In fact, it doesn't even look like a sex tape at all: it looks like Leighton Meester showing off her tits and thong-clad ass for a webcam...just like every other Mac-owning teen in the world has done at some point or other.

Granted, Celeb-Hotline has made claims that the tape involves a footjob and "much more!"...but, uh, we'll believe it when we see it. (Does Celeb-Hotline even know what a footjob is, do you think?)

Leighton Meester Sex Tape Pics (taxidrivermovie.com)
Leighton Meester Sex Tape Pics (taxidrivermovie.com)
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Leighton Meester Sex Tape Pics (taxidrivermovie.com)
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Leighton Meester Sex Tape Pictures (egotastic.com)
Leighton Meester Sex Tape Pictures (egotastic.com)

· True Blood (hbo.com)

Thomas Jefferson (who knew a thing or three about Royal Rumbles himself) once suggested that the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots...or something like that. Don't ask us for the exact quote. Just like you, we saw it in a Denzel Washington movie somewhere.

One of his lesser known maxims was about the porn tree, which must be watered daily with hot sex fluids from dueling pornstars. And that's where things get interesting.

Sin City took the Founding Father to task, releasing their "Royal Rumble" with plenty of time to spare for Independence Day, so you can plan out snatching up your very own copy. The new release showcases the hardest scenes from Tory Lane, Daisy Marie, Angelina, Candy, Tiffany, Carly, Veronica, Puma Swede, Trina Michaels, and delectable fuck puppet Audrey Hollander.

Check out the advanced sneak peek we scored just for you, then go out and pick yourselves up a copy. If you're like us, Tory Lane's perfect pucker will have you screaming out, "Give us anal sex or give us death!"

'Royal Rumble' streets next week from Sin City.

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Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
Buy "Royal Rumble" (gamelink.com)

Sin City (sincityfilms.com)

Pussy's a great thing, and we never tire of seeing it in all its guises. Here at Fleshbot, we consider pussy the gift that keeps on giving. You get to unwrap it, touch it, lick it and play with it again and again. And if you're lucky enough to get more than one pussy at a time, well, let's just say that, with pussies, multiplayer mode is the way to go. This week, Madeline's assembled the gamers: From books to bathtime, slits to clits, you'll want to keep your joystick pointed away from the screen. Ready? Press Start.

—-—

Metamorphosis

I held her head high as I bit and licked at her bared tits, the dark crinkled nipples hard and yearning up for attention. And then I pressed the full breadth of my right hand, palm against her chest and fingers spread, just under her neck and shoved her backward and into the wooden bookcase.

It shuddered with the force of my shove as her back thudded, small pieces of sculpture left shaken and spinning, volumes of books resettling, a framed picture knocked to the floor. She stood there now, topless and her pants in a wayward mass around her calves and ankles, shaking. Her back squarely met one of the support planks of the bookcase, her shoulderblades against copies of Ovid's Metamorphoses and Suetonius' The Twelve Caesars. How fitting.

I pulled her panties down.

-The Urban Rogue

—-—-

Goddess

"Yeah, you can fuck me in the ass," I said with a grin from my throne. He was totally enamored by the sight of my bare pussy glistening in the warm candlelight a mere foot in front of his face. "But first," I went on, giving my clit ring a gentle twist, "you have to suck my husband's cock."

The boyishly-handsome toy hesitated, but I wasn't worried. I leaned forward, reminding him of the massive breasts being held aloft by my corset.

-Under The Crimson Moon

—-—-

The Ta-Tas

Springtime and summer are my favorite times of the year, and not only because I can get to the beach. It's the time when every woman in NYC figures out that she has a set of ta-tas just itching to be on display, and it's time to show skin.

-Swordfish Suite

—-—-

Cock.In.Mouth.

I barely opened my front door. Peter pushed me through, and we stood in the entry hall. I moved ahead, felt his hand on the collar of my shirt. Without a word, I almost fell backward. When I opened my mouth, his left hand clamped over mine.
With his right hand, he brought my face to his.
"You'll get on your knees now."

-Spoilt

—-—-

Cursed

Oh, that urge to unzip myself, to plunge my aching cock into the velvet depths of your sodden cunt without invitation or encouragement from you or from her … that longing was intoxicating, drowning, nearly impossible to resist.

Now I know what compulsion feels like, tastes like.

-Easily Aroused

—-—-

Rub a Dub

I move in close to him now and place my dripping arms around his shoulders – the warm water greeting his back for the first time. We kiss. Our wet mouths tasting one another, tasting the bubbles that linger also. The kiss is fluid, gentle and light. It is followed immediately by a second, stronger embrace, his hands seeking out my own body as mine rove over his skin. I flick my nail up over his nipple and then trail it down the side of his torso – one of my favourite moves. Simple. Effective.

-Lady Pandorah's Sanctuary of Sensuality

*****

· Thumbnail Star: Anita Dark, courtesy of Club Anita (clubanita.com)
· Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

These videos successfully document the many ways to practice the art of being fucked by a woman's breasts. Regardless of what term gets us hot, we all love "mammary intercourse."

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*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

Oh, who are we kidding. This video has us so excited, we can't control ourselves. Seriously, we're on the verge of selling our firstborn child to get a copy of "Big Wet Asses 15." We might even sell your firstborn child (so you might want to watch out, kids.)

· "Big Wet Asses 15" Trailer! (community.elegantangel.com)
· Buy "Big Wet Asses 15" (gamelink.com)

Yes, once again Angelina Armani has utterly slain us with her devastating beauty and white hot scintillating scenes. The ultimate sultry blonde sex goddess with the smoldering stare has crawled up under our skin again and possessed us with her ravenous demon lust for which there is no known cure. The only thing left to ask is, how the hell does she always manage to do that? It's sad to see her leave Digital Playground, one of the few production companies out there who guarantee the kind of high quality we insist on for our Armani. We simply will not abide the sacrilege of her working with inferior talent in boring, poorly lit scenes! No siree!

Perhaps because the wound is not as fresh, we feel less shock seeing sexy little slut princess Katsuni once again reminding us why we love her so very, very much. Words fail us when this little spinner gets her motor fully revved up, while other body parts pick up the slack...if you catch our drift.

Joining the ghosts of Digital Playground past are ridiculously hot big tit queen Nikki Benz and breathtaking brunette Madison Ivy. Truth be told, Nikki Benz personifies the whole reason we watch porn in the first place—to see girls who look like her taking fat cocks and loving it.

Our (metaphorical) hats go off to Celeste for once again providing us with such amazing fare. The casting alone is enough to make this purchase pay for itself in spank hours.

"You & Us" releases next week from Digital Playground, who owns all the rights to these pictures we are about to share. Behave yourselves, okay? Thanks.

Angelina Armani

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Angelina Armani and Scott Nails

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Angelina Armani and Scott Nails

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nikki Benz and Scott Nails

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nikki Benz and Scott Nails

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nikki Benz and Scott Nails

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and Danny Mountain

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and Danny Mountain

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and Danny Mountain

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Madison Ivy and Mick Blue

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Madison Ivy and Mick Blue

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Madison Ivy and Mick Blue

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and James Deen

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and James Deen

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Katsuni and James Deen

Buy"You & Us" (digitalplayground.com)

All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Yes, back in 1998, Reese—unburdened by thoughts of family and children—was still okay with stripping down. Given that it may very well be her only nude scene ever...we, for one, will definitely be treasuring it.

· You Can Forget About Reese Witherspoon Nude (theinsider.com)
· "Twilight" (imdb.com)
· Images via CityRag (cityrag.com)
· Video clip via Metacafe (metacafe.com, more video @ sevenload.com)

Adult film superstar Lisa Ann leads the charge in front of Veronica Rayne, Victoria Valentino, Regan Anthony, Morgan Reigns, Holly West, Velvet Lick, Misty Vonage, Ricki Raxxx, Jazella Moore, Austin Kincaid, Briana Beach, and plucky April Blossom.

There can be no mistaking who the Queen Bee of all MILF's is at this point. Lisa Ann dominates both the box cover as well as her partner. She is such a fucking ferocious man eater. But hey: we already knew that. Hall prophetically warned us that one day she would cum—and boy, was he ever right. Seems almost like an understatement at this point.

The retrospective includes a number of our favorite gone-but-not-forgotten performers, MILF's who have long since collected their just rewards for their arduous labors and converted them into lunch money and school supplies. We couldn't be more grateful to see some of them again.

"MILF Mania 3" comes out next week. Check out a little of what the double disc spectacular has to offer in our exclusive gallery below. Go easy on the cougars next time you see them, though. Their time will come. You can count on it.

Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)
Buy "MILF Mania 3" (gamelink.com)

No word yet on the name of the production—but, uh, can you tell how excited we are?

Now if only we knew when Faye's official website was launching....

· Faye Reagan's Official Site (playwithfaye.com)
· Photo of Faye Reagan courtesy of Little Mutt (littlemutt.com)