Given the fact that we here at Fleshbot try to cover as many bases as possible—and despite that first person plural voice we insist on using most of the time—it's not too surprising that our editorial staff finds itself experiencing a difference of opinion every now and then. (For example: some of us crave the newfangled taste of a ass smoothie, while others are only satisfied by a classic dirtpipe milkshake). Our latest object of disagreement is the new coffee table extravaganza by "self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom" Em and Lo, "Sex: How To Do Everything", and not just because we fought amongst ourselves for a first look when the review copy arrived at Fleshbot Central: while some of us were immediately won over by the beautiful pictures and lovely layout, others were left a little limp on the whole project. Read some of our pros and cons (and get a peek at some of those photos) after the jump.

Pro: With page after page of beautiful photography by celebrated British erotica/fashion photographer Rankin and a nicely designed layout, this is a sex-related coffee table book that's actually sexy. You might even be tempted to leave it on your coffee table when company comes over—which, given the sad state of sex education in this country, would probably be a good thing.

Con: Those photos might be beautiful and all, but despite some attempt at racial diversity they get pretty homogenous after a while (and not just because everyone is heterosexual): the models are uniformly young and pretty and slender, and we know there are more than just young and pretty and slender people who have sex. It's like overdosing on an endless lowfat Pinkberry sundae: all that trendy, bland sweetness can get pretty cloying. Give us those dumpy, hairy hippies in "The Joy Of Sex" any day.

Pro: It's a fun read. Em and Lo have made their names with friendly and honest advice, so it's no surprise that their signature tone and sense of humor is present in this book. If you somehow thought that sex books always had to be dry, boring, and technical, this is a book to change your mind.

Con: About those pictures again? Playful as they are, they're also pretty darn tepid for a sex manual: there are naked boobs galore, but except for a purely anatomical shot or two you have to look long and hard for a glimpse of a dick—never mind a hard dick or even the barest hint of penetration. We know they're aiming for "tasteful", but a sex book without actual sex in it starts looking sort of like an American Apparel catalog. (Minus the apparel, of course.)

Pro: It's extensive. After so many years in the sex advice business, Em and Lo have amassed a lot of expertise about what makes people tick (and moan and sigh), and they share a tremendous amount of that knowledge here. With nine detailed sections, they leave almost no stone unturned. Hey, a book that devotes an entire section to handjobs and an exhaustive guide to the different kinds of sex toys on the market these days must have something to teach you.

Con: Encyclopaedic as it might be, it's hard to tell just exactly who this book is supposed to be for. If you're already sexually active, it's unlikely you're going to interrupt a session with your (probably white and slender) partner to look up a new position or learn how to put on a condom, and if you're not already having sex with someone ... well, wouldn't a book like this be sort of frustrating and/or besides the point? And as for people on either side of that fence who just want a resource for general sex advice and resources: there's this cool thing called the interweb where you can look up pretty much anything you like (including plenty of Em & Lo's archived material), won't cost you $25, and won't get sticky when you spill lube all over it. (Unless you spill it on your keyboard, in which case you're probably beyond the help of whatever a book like this could tell you anyway.)

So there you have it. Now excuse us while we get back to arguing about who gets to take the book home with them over the weekend. (Hey, at least we agreed that the pictures were pretty.)

· Buy "Sex: How To Do Everything" (amazon.com)
· Em and Lo (dailybedpost.com)
· Photos by Rankin (rankin.co.uk)

One of the nicest things about the interweb is that it allows us easy access to porn from all around the globe—and with all those user-generated video sharing sites out there these days, that also means an easy way to peek into the bedrooms of horny amateur exhibitionists everywhere. Because we're globally minded, we've scoured the offerings at video sharing site YuVuTu and rounded up some of the hottest amateur porn clips from ten different countries. (Or at least ones submitted by users in ten different countries, which is close enough.) Now you can find out the answers to some of life's most perplexing questions: Do the really French do it better? Or is the capital of amateur porn located in Luxembourg? Or maybe Mexico? Frankly, we don't care where it comes from, as long as it's hot. Hey, we just value diversity.

- - -

Mexico:

Zoey Andrews mi tipo de mujer

. . .

Germany:

Pantyhose/collant

. . .

Luxembourg:

petitecon Champagne Act

. . .

France:

Compilation : anal sex and wet pussy, my best orgasms and screams

. . .

Sweden:

Beach voyeur

. . .

Denmark:

Playing with my ass

. . .

Italy:

Grande orgasmo anale

. . .

Canada:

Close up wet and open pussy

. . .

Australia:

Blow job

. . .

USA:

Every Drop

· Yuvutu (yuvutu.com)

Pulling together our thrice-weekly Best of Babelogs feature will be slightly more difficult (and much less fun) since word came over the wire that busty glamour model Erica Campbell is putting her faith in the Lord and getting out of the nude modeling business. For the last couple of years, she's been one of the most familiar and ubiquitous faces on the babelog circuit, with shoots for Playboy, Penthouse, and other top online photo houses like Danni.com and Digital Desires under her belt. Unfortunately, as she explains on what used to be her membership website, she felt "lost" and "lonely" and "broken". But she's now filled that void inside her with Jesus Christ! From now on she will devote her days to rescuing animals—and rescuing other girls that she believes are trapped in the web of porn.

Of course, we would never criticize anyone for choosing to do whatever will make them happy, even if we tend to have a few issues with the whole skin-star-finding-religion thing. But we will say that we're sorry to see her go: Erica was one of our favorites, combining supervixen sexiness with cute girl-next-door looks, and she will be missed. On the other hand, since pictures of fellow former glamour model Crissy Moran are almost as popular now as they were two years ago when she found God and dropped out of the business, we're guessing that we'll still be running into Erica for a little while longer. Here's another look back at the works she left behind.

. . .

. . .

· "The Only Way Out" (clubericacampbell.com)
· Nude Model Erica Campbell Retires After Religious Conversion (avn.com)
· Erica Campbell Galleries via kellyfind.com, toteme.com, hpornstars.com, asredas.com + thousandbabes.com
· Erica Campbell Stripping (RedTube)

* * * * *
Previously: Crissy Moran Finds Jesus

We all know that May is National Masturbation Month, but did you also know it's National Orgasm Month? Which probably isn't a coincidence—but is it a coincidence that Masturbation Month is also Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month? Even that may seem appropriate, but why is May also National Salad Month and National Barbecue Month too? Not to mention National Bike Month and Good Car Keeping Month? (We can't even figure out if it's National Salsa Month because of the dancing or because of the stuff you put on tortilla chips.) That's a lot of months for just one month, but we decided to get in on the spirit of things and pay tribute to some of the other special made-up holidays of May ... the only way we know how, of course. (By the way, when is National Porn Blogging Month again?)

. . .

National Gifts From the Garden Month

· How To: Make Your Own Veggie Vibrator
· Vagetarian Porn
· Fruity Girls

. . .

Older Americans Month

· Monsters Ball: Here Comes "MILFZILLA"!

. . .

Correct Posture Month

· Ariel X Loves Her Job (And So Do We)

. . .

Good Car Keeping Month

· Flesh Flicks: Fucking Car Talk

. . .

National Electrical Safety Month

· Fleshbot's Extensive Vibrator Coverage
· All About Electrostim

. . .

Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

· Being (In Love With) Mika Tan (Among Others)

. . .

Jewish American Heritage Month

· Our Commandress-In-Chief Joanna Angel

. . .

National Community Action Month

· There Will Be Orgies (But No Cake): Rocco Siffredi's "Eskade: The Submission"

. . .

National Get Prepared to Buy a Home Month

· Jeanna Fine and Peter North in "The House on Chasey Lane"(Megarotic)

. . .

Also, it's National Photo Month, which is pretty much our whole basis for our existence. Without photos, there's no porn and without porn, well ... let's not think about that.

· "It's May, which is pretty much National Everything Month" (tigardtimes.com)

Previously: Happy Masturbation Month! (Yes, You Now Have An Official Excuse)

It's common knowledge that we have something of a soft spot for geeky girls, so can you blame us for feeling a bit smitten with the lovely Ellie Idol? (Actually we'd say our spot wasn't that soft, but we've used that joke before too.) After years of working in the reality porn genre (usually as "Collie" or "Dirty Little Chloe"), she's finally moved into feature territory and has landed the title role in "Demi The Demoness." Hot looks, a love of cosplay, and now a starring role in a porn flick based on an adult comic? We're pretty sure Ellie is the new definition of a nerd's wet dream. We know she's definitely ours.

· Ellie Idol: An Interview (tenderbits.wordpress.com)

· Ellie in "Demi The Demoness" (demidemonessmovie.com)
· "Demi The Demoness" Comic Gallery (usercash.com)

· Ellie on MySpace (profile.myspace.com)
· Ellie Idol @ BangBros (videography @ bangbrosnetwork.com)
· Ellie Idol Hardcore Galleries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (TGP/preview galleries via Ask Jolene)

. . .

Update Bestill our hearts: had we actually read Ellie's MySpace blog (instead of just looking at her pictures), we would have known that she announced her retirement two months ago—which kind of contradicts everything she said in that interview we posted above, but whaetver. Once a nerdy wet dream, always a nerdy wet dream ... right? (Thanks for the update, CC!)

Porn ripoffs parodies of things that were topical three years ago are like settling into a comfortable pair of shoes: they are familiar and safe, and make us think of a time when gas wasn't so expensive, it looked like the Democrats would win in 2008, and "The Sopranos" was still on. We received Wicked's "The Housewives of Amber Lane" recently and thought, "Awww, at least it's not 'Britney Rears'."

A star vehicle for veteran pornstress Amber Lynn, any intellectual property-type objection we might have is countered with, "Aw why shouldn't Amber Lynn have a movie named after her?"

Don't look at us! Look at dreamy Nick Manning! What's the matter with you?

Performer/director Randy Spears presents two shots of superhero housewives floating mysteriously above their partners.

You will never see belly fat or floppy boobs in a Wicked feature. Maybe that should be their motto instead of "What Excites You."

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Housewives of Amber Lane" (gamelink.com)

Cable cars, dot com gazillionaires and Golden Gates aside, San Francisco is known for many things: its values, homegrown institutions like Kink.com, and generally being the object of Sodom-by-the-Bay nightmares for the entire Bible Belt. And let's not forget that everyone's favorite city also midwifed National Masturbation Month, which is getting more tech-savvy every year. This time around the San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon—a fundraiser for SF's Center for Sex and Culture hosted by Nina Hartley on Sunday, May 25—will not only be doing its customary livecast of the wank-off, but has also launched a snazzy new blog and Facebook page and is promising plenty of Twittergasms to all comers. Read what a Twittergasm is, how to have one, and why masturbatrix extraordinaire Carol Queen says you should never, ever fake one after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: So what's a Twittergasm?
Carol Queen: A Twittergasm is a post to your Twitter profile indicating that you just had a real orgasm. You can use the codes ICSW (I came, so what?) and JOSW (jacking off, so what? related term to indicate you are jacking off), and we'll track, count and include your Twitgasms — though you can also add and create your own LOLTwitgasms if it gets you hot. By typing the character string: ICSW to your Twitter profile, you say with pride: I Came! Prudes of the world will be forced to realize once and for all, that no one really cares what adults do with themselves, and everyone does it. It's a way of coming out of the closet as someone who masturbates by posting to your twitter profile whenever you come. A secret handshake of sorts, only others who follow the Twittergasm profile, or who have read about the campaign will know, so your prudish friends will be left alone until they, too are enlightened.

We will be using the popular service Tweetscan to track Twittergasms in May and we will publish the results on the Masturbate-a-thon.com site and related blogs and social network sites. Twitterers can participate in national masturbation month in several ways.

(1) Become a follower of one of these profiles:
http://www.twitter.com/jackingoff (the profile off the masturbate-a-thon.com)
http://www.twitter.com/thebiggesto (a profile that tracks the orgasms of twitterers)

(2) Use this code on your twitter profile to indicate whenever you have an orgasm:
ICSW or JOSW when you jack off. (Hint: multiple orgasms can be indicated by using a colon and a number to indicate how many: ICSW:3) No faking!

(3) Ask your friends and Twitter followers to pledge to donate a certain amount to the Center for Sex and Culture for every orgasm you have in May. Visit www.masturbate-a-thon.com/twitter.php to register your twitter profile for participation in National Masturbation Month (May 2008) and send emails to your friends to ask them to make a pledge on your behalf. Send a link to that same page where they can sign up to donate as much as they chose for each time you come. Donors do not have to be on Twitter to participate.

Fleshbot: Can't we just fake it ten times in a row so we can hang out with all the cool kids?
Carol Queen: No, never! There are three very good reasons why you should never, ever fake a Twittergasm:

(1) Because faking orgasm — and Twitgasm — robs you of pleasure. It's a sign that pleasure-seeking (masturbation or other kinds of sex) is winding down, and orgasm isn't happening, you're not going for it, and you're not really telling anybody else you're not going for it. Not only that, you're not even admitting any of this; you're sending a false signal of "I'm done"-ness, when you could just as easily be authentic and say, "You know what? I'm done, let's go do something else."

(But some of you might protest that it's not romantic or sexy to just say you're quitting before the true Tweet of satisfaction. Maybe, but see Reason #2, and actually, authentic sexuality IS sexy. Plus, faking teaches other people to pleasure you the wrong way. If you're doing it while masturbating, you're teaching *yourself* to do it the wrong way: to give up before you're discovered real satisfaction. That's just not a good message to send. Instead, decide to use the energy you expend with a bit hot fake come to get a little more into your body, learn a little more about sex and arousal, fantasize about the things you *really* want to, and resolve to respect pleasure more.)

(2) It's not nice to fool people, but it adds to everyone's misinformation and fucked-upped-ness about sex and pleasure when we fool people re: orgasm. Because that affects other people's sexuality as well as out own — it means that partners are misled as to our sources of optimum pleasure (how self-defeating can you get?), it robs others of the intimacy-building experience of going REAL orgasm-hunting with us, and it misleads other people about what's real about sex.

(3) Twitter is a social networking endeavor, and like society itself, these only really function well when citizens are above-board, real, and express their real needs and experiences. Otherwise the whole entity will be flooded with fakeness, and people's initial desire — to be connected — is sullied. Besides, it wastes airspace that can better be used to send around genuine sentiments... and Twittergasms.

· Masturbate-A-Thon: Wankblog (masturbate-a-thon.com/wankblog)
· Twitter: jackingoff (Masturbate-A-Thon profile, Twitter.com)
· Twitter: thebiggesto (Twittergasm tracker, Twitter.com)
· Masturbate-A-Thon: Facebook (facebook.com)

See also:
· Masturbate-A-Thon (official site, masturbate-a-thon.com)
· Center for Sex and Culture (sexandculture.org)
· Carol Queen (carolqueen.com)

We've had the hots for Ariel X for quite some time now, so when we heard she was passing through Fleshbot West and leaving her customary trail of broken hearts and handprints on asses in her wake we begged for a chance to ask her a few questions. Turns out, you have to beg really nice-like when you're talking to Ariel, and our knees are pretty bruised as a result. But finding out that her fantasy is being abducted and fucked by 5-10 girls was well worth the obedience lesson ... especially since that is so totally our fantasy too! Weird!

Read our exclusive interview and check out our deliriously hardcore gallery featuring a taste of Ariel's adventures after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: Do you like your job, or what?
Ariel X: There are so many things I love about my job. Can I use a separate sheet of paper if I run out of space? I love that I can pretty much make my own schedule. I love that I see the same people all the time... They become like a distant family. I love that I can be a mega slut on camera and none of my coworkers aren't going to judge me for it... It's not like that working, say, a retail job. I love that I get bragging rights: people will be flipping through a porn mag and stop on a page with a hot chick on it and I can say, "I tapped that". I love that I get to sit in a makeup chair and have someone play with my face. I'll stop here cause I literally will go on and on for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

FB: No, really. Tell us what you like about your job.
AX: If the person I'm working with is REALLY into the actions we have to perform for a scene I get really turned on. If the person I'm working with is into ME I get really turned on. If a person I'm working with hones in on my personal fetishes.... bruahhahah on it's over... I'm going to get wet all over the place

FB: Anything have the opposite effect?
AX: As far as the stuff I'm watching. I will watch anything, just for shits and giggles. You know actually it takes a lot to turn me on just watching something.

As far as scenes I work, I would have to say that the only thing that would turn me off working with the fine girls I work with is when girls start moaning for no reason or doing "porn talk" to me; telling me to "fuck their pussy" or saying "fuck yeah" in a high pitches almost "baby talk" voice. I like to know that the girl I'm working with is going to be into the scene and not just doing what she does for every scene she's ever done.

FB: What's the difference between sex you have for work and sex you have for yourself?
AX: I've never been tied up and fucked in my personal life. I also fuck a man in my personal life, which up to this date and time in history I have never done on camera (it's 4/21/08). I feel as if sex in my personal life is a lot more intimate only because I'm able to really "get in there"... IE I don't have to play to the camera, show my tongue, spread pussy for the camera. Sex in my personal life becomes all about actually pleasing someone and getting them off where as sex for work becomes about showing the audience what I'm doing.

FB: What do people say about your job that is just plain wrong?
AX: People seem to think that all porn stars have AIDS. At least the genius members of MySpace all seem to think that. That irritates me, just the fact that people are uneducated yet think they are some kind of omniscient being who can asses the goings on of everyone's life.

FB: What's your number one, on-camera, not-yet-done fantasy?
AX: I'd like to be abducted on film, blind folded and abused by 5-10 girls I've never worked with before and then have to guess afterward who's puss was on my face. awww that's hot. Or I'd love to have my BF tie me up and bang me..but that's not gonna happen....boooo BF!!!

FB: What can we look forward to, Miss X?
AX: I'm going to be revamping my website, ArielX.com. I'm getting my tits done too, so keep an eye out for Ariel X with breasts. :)

· Ariel X @ Kink.com (Fleshbot Gallery)
· Photos via Fucking Machines, Water Bondage, Ultimate Surrender, Wired Pussy and Whipped Ass
· Ariel X (arielx.com)

When Joe Swanberg pitched his idea for a series following the (sex) lives of a group of young people in Chicago to Nerve.com, he had no idea just how popular the show would become. Two years and millions of downloads later, "Young American Bodies" has moved to IFC.com, where its third season will debut on Tuesday, May 27.

We recently sat down with Joe Swanberg to ask him a few questions about the series: you'll find his answers, a preview clip from YAB's third season, and an exclusive preview gallery after the jump.

. . .

Fleshbot: What was the inspiration for "Young American Bodies"?
Joe Swanberg: I made a film called KISSING ON THE MOUTH that detailed the relationships of some young people in Chicago. I felt like I had more to learn and more that I was interested in exploring within that framework, so I pitched the show idea to Nerve. I had wanted to make a web series for a few years at that point, and it seemed like a really good fit with what Nerve was already doing.

FB: How did you recruit the cast? Was it difficult finding actors who were comfortable with the nature of the show?
JS: I make the show with my wife, Kris, and we spent a few weeks meeting with people and putting the cast together. Some of them were already friends of ours and most of the other people we met through MySpace. We posted bulletins explaining what we were trying to do and there were a few people who were interested. Once we found the right people, we worked with them to develop the show around their own lives and stories. Now that we have a few seasons online, it's easier to find people to be in the show, because they know what to expect. We are always looking for new cast members, so people should email me if they are interested.

FB: What's been your favorite episode?
JS: At this point we have made 32 episodes and I can no longer pick a favorite. My favorite relationship in the show is between Maggie and Ted. They are such a weird couple, but they somehow make sense. They break up in Season 2, but we brought Ted back for the new season because we all liked his character so much. A New York actor named Karl Jacob plays that part and he cracks all of us up. We bring him to Chicago just to do the show.

FB: Has switching from Nerve to IFC.com changed the direction or content in any way?
JS: Both websites have been really amazing about giving us total creative freedom with the show. It's a risky series to get behind, so it feels very nice to have both of these respected sites helping us find an audience.

FB: After "Young American Bodies," think you'll have any interest in shooting porn? If you did go in that direction, what kind of porn would you make?
JS: I would definitely be interested in shooting a porn, just to see what it's like. I would have to find the right actors to work with. That is the only thing that would make it interesting to me. If I made a porn, it would inevitably be just like my other films, full of conversations, awkward moments, long takes, minimal lighting, etc. Once again, if the right people are out there, please email me.

· Young American Bodies on IFC (ifc.com)
· Young American Bodies (youngamericanbodies.com)

As you may be aware, Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia that is written and edited by nerds who do all the work for free in an attempt to gather all human knowledge into one comprehensive database. But according to the conservative bulldog World Net Daily, it is also a repository for salacious, hardcore pornographic material. Like strippers! Gay homosexual sex! And titty fucking! In fact, they might as well start selling monthly subscriptions and buying ads in AVN Online! Check out their list of moral-destroying smut that's totally accessible to everyone ...

# Recordings of women experiencing orgasms
# Videos of nude men participating in "ejaculation educational demonstrations"
# Detailed photographs of men and women masturbating
# Images of mammary intercourse
# Close-up images of topless women and male and female sexual anatomy
# Large-scale photos of men performing oral sex on one another (and performing oral sex on themselves)
# An illustrated list of sex positions
# Threesomes
# Photos of nude strippers
# An image called "Virgin Killer" depicting a naked prepubescent girl from the 1976 cover of a Scorpions album (banned in the U.S.)

Our first thought upon reading this was that we are not spending enough time on Wikipedia. Our second was that we'd like to see some examples of this salacious content, because we had trouble finding any: those "nude" strippers are actually mostly* covered up, the sexual positions and anatomy photos are no worse than what you would find in a (really cool) biology textbook or on the Discovery Channel, and the gay fluffer pictures are tastefully non-explicit (at least by our standards*). What a ripoff!

Not only is this an unusually misguided display of anti-porn hysteria—anyone looking for free unblocked smut can do a lot better than Wikipedia—but their complaints show a shocking misunderstanding of how Wikipedia actually works. It's completely created, edited and policed by its users —i.e. anyone and everyone—and if there's a problem the users are the ones who fix it.

Take that infamous 1976 Scorpions album cover, which could be considered child pornography: it might have been banned, but one could also argue that it has some sort of historical relevance. If the community doesn't agree, then the community of Wikipedia users can remove it ... which they did are still debating**. (Here's the ongoing discussion about it, which predates the WND article by almost three years.)

Tattling to the FBI about nudie pics on the internet is like complaining to Congress about evolution. Hating it enough won't make it go away. Besides, one way or another people have to learn about strippers—so it's either on Wikipedia or in a strip club. Take your pick.

· "Is Wikipedia wicked porn?" + "Naked young girl photo troubles 'Wikipedophilia'" (wnd.com)
· Fluffing (Wikipedia)
· Wikipedia T-Shirt (bustedtees.com)

* Updated to reflect some specific photos which a reader bought to our attention after we posted this entry; however, we still don't think they're anywhere near as bad as the WND article makes them out to be.

** Update (5/9): Another reader has informed us that the banned Scorpions album cover has been restored to the Wikipedia post in question since we first posted about the issue, and the debate about it among Wikipedia users continues.

"Ze first time I had sex I was 19 and I honestly thought I wasn't meant for sex," says Katsumi (yes, Katsumi) in the "Stories" section of her new interactive DVD. But for her 21st birthday she had a gangbang. What a difference two years makes. (I should know—my 2006 Honda is really depreciating.)

You might be confused about who the virtual You will be fucking in this movie: isn't she supposed to be Katsuni? Well, this movie was made during her losing court battle but before she was forced to change one letter of her name to appease a distraught French woman who claimed she was being misidentified as a hot porn star.

It is a customer not scared of adjustments who purchases an interactive movie; there is a lot of direct address ("See? My titties are already hard," Katsumi says to you) and, the way Digital Playground does it, there is a lot of zooming back and forth against whatever greenscreen background Katsumi appears against.

But the "Virtual Sex" DVDs are unlike other movies in that the environment is rigidly controlled. The sound is clear and present and there are no distractions to take the viewer away from the star.

"So what do you prefer?" she asks. "My boobs? My pussy? My ass? Or my mouse?"

International symbols for those parts show up at the periphery of the screen when it is time for the DVD to become really interactive. Digital Playground's go-to stunt cock, Scott Nails, steps in as your proxy in Katsumi-servicing.

I'll take a break here and say that Katsumi looks really good, even if Scott Nails never consulted You about how You, personally, would service Katsumi. Only then would this DVD be truly interactive.

But lest you think that Katsumi doesn't care about you and only has eyes for Nails, she drops a bit of Gallic science on you before Nails delivers his vicarious load.

"I love being on ze top so I can make love with you ... the way I want."

- Review by Gram Ponante

Virtual Sex with Katsumi
Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Katsumi (prior to legal name change), Scott Nails as You

· "Virtual Sex With Katsumi" (digitalplayground.com)

Lana Croft, whom last we saw in these virtual pages being mesmerized by Ange Venus and some Asian sirens, is back in a wet and wild adventure from the serene David Aaron Clark, who subtitled his latest movie "Mr. Hentai's Super-Funtime Asian Pool Party." (Never mind that Clark has never been an Asian a day in his life.) We asked what the movie would be about when he was planning it. "There will be a pool there, that's all I know." he said. "Then the magic will happen."

These photos were taken by the estimable Glenn Baren because my glasses kept fogging up in the shower.

The standard Porn Valley pool scene seems so much more classy somehow when no one feels compelled to drink a jug of water and squirt at you. I'm glad it's not going to be that kind of movie.

"No Man's Land Asian Edition #7: Mr. Hentai's Super-Funtime Asian Pool Party" will doubtless be released before the Summer Olympics begin, so laser-topical is the porn marketing machine.

· Metro (metrointeractive.com)
· David Aaron Clark (davidaaronclark.com)

Sure, you've been masturbating for most of your life ... but do you really know what masturbation looks like? As part of our monthlong celebration of masturbation, we're offering our readers a chance to show off their fapping smarts ... and win a pretty fabulous prize in the process.

Below are ten photos of different models' faces. Some of these women are masturbating, and some of them are having sex. Can you tell the difference? Get all of them right and you'll be entered in a random drawing to win a (brand new, we promise) Delight vibrator, guaranteed to make your National Masturbation Month a lot more fun.

How To Enter: Make a list from 1 to 10 and tell us your best guesses in a comment to this post. (Don't have a Fleshbot/Gawker Media commenter account? Get one—it's easy.) Next week, we'll choose a winner based on whoever has the most number of correct guesses—or will randomly choose from entries in the case of a tie. We'll let you know via your commenter profile page what you'll need to do to claim your prize.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

· Images via Ask Jolene

The fine print: You must be over 18 to enter the contest, and you may submit only one entry per commenter account. Standard contest rules apply.

We've been itching for a chance to peek inside the members' section of Zivity ever since we heard about their $7 million in funding, since nothing gets us more worked up than a throbbing, swollen seven figure price tag. Okay, actually we've been itching for a chance to peek inside since we heard that there would be naked models there too ... but all that cold hard capital made things all the more intriguing. Just what kind of porn site can you make with $7 million anyway? What kind of masturbatory wonders does that kind of money buy?

Well, eight months after it first started making headlines we finally managed to score an invite to the Zivity beta site, and now we can tell you: not very much.

After all the hype it's received, we expected ... well, something we hadn't seen before, or at least something pretty special. You know, something slightly more than just an opportunity to set up a profile page and look at some pictures of naked chicks female beauty.

Granted, Zivity has entered the market at more than a bit of disadvantage. With megaporn site (excuse us, modern pinup showcase) SuicideGirls setting a certain standard for adult communities online, it can be pretty hard for any new kid on the block to compete. Still, given that Zivity is clearly aware of SG (Missy Suicide is one of their photographers), you'd think they'd at least try to have a site that's more impressive.

No such luck, though: aside from the photos and their totally original voting system, there's not much there there Does anyone really need yet another website where they can set up yet another profile? Sure, the pictures are pretty hot (if a bit tame) ... but why do you have to have one more profile to keep track of just to look at them?

Sample model page

Sample Photo Set

Photo Upload Page (note: no nudity for nonmodels!)

To be fair, Zivity is in beta, so maybe they have some other features in the works that will be in place before their public launch. If not ... well, we sure hope at least a chunk of that $7 million is winding up in their models' pockets. We hate to see good money going to waste.

· Zivity

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Previously: Zivity's Big Score: Good Money After Bad?, Porn 2.0: Haven't We Been Here Before?, The New Porn.com: When Bad Things Happen To Good Domains

"The only thing I've ever done is a blowjob," says Belladonna to ingenue Alexis Texas. "I have no idea what a fellatio is." The two then begin a voyage of discovery in the lighthearted yet filthy romp through her pneumatic byways in "Discovering Alexis Texas."

Forget for a moment that, if Belladonna had actually been your college roommate, you would have found some way to stay in school and not work in your family's quarry. Forget, too, that the idea of Belladonna trying to convince us that, just by putting her hair in pigtails she is a virgin, is absurd. Instead, try to imagine yourself as the amiable Daniel as Belladonna and Texas descend on you for your blowjob advice ("It's a process," he says).

Belladonna and Texas make a stackable IKEA-like structure of themselves within minutes, causing the viewer to wonder if they haven't, in fact, done this before.

Nina Hartley narrates much of this movie as an older Texas, much like Jeanne Moreau in "The Lover" but with fewer Chinese. Here we recollect Texas' taking by "two hot studs."

Then Bella and Alexis suit up to expose themselves piece by piece. I imagine this is how the Sleestaks will look in the "Land of the Lost" remake.

Steve Holmes, whom last we saw being happily smothered by two large ladies, is surprised at the Universal City Metro Station by an admirer. Excellent guerilla filmmaking here.

Finally, we meet Hartley as the grown-up Texas. "I love myself," she says, "and everybody better goddamn love me."

While we would let Belladonna (and Nina Hartley) get away with anything, seeing Hartley at the end calls into question the modern subway and the moon suits of previous scenes. What has happened to Time?

· Belladonna (enterbelladonna.com)
· Buy "Discovering Alexis Texas" (gamelink.com)

The kids, they grow up so fast these days: it seems like just yesterday that we were attending our very first Rated X Panty Party and watching gaggles of barely legal naked hipsters and assorted celebutantes and hot tranny messes scamper toplessly (and sometimes bottomlessly!) around Don Hill's and various downtown bars. And now here they all are five years later, all grown up and ... uh, still running around Don Hill's without their clothes on and doing all sorts of things they'd never be seen doing in the light of day. (It's OK though; we haven't grown up much in the last five years either.)

Relive the magic all over again for the very first time with an exclusive photogallery of this weekend's festivities by the very debonair Nikola Tamindzic after the jump.

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· Photos by Nikola Tamindzic (ambrel.net; more @ Home Of The Vain)

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Previously: Rated X Panty Party: "Cum On My Tattoo 3" Premiere, BOX Magazine #5: Rated X Panty Party, Rated X Panty Party: The Return, Rated X Halloween Panty Party