It's Amateur Hour (And That's A Good Thing)

This morning we saw the debut of one of the most boring celebrity "sex" tapes to hit the internet—and it might have left you feeling a bit soured on erotic home videos. Don't be so silly! More »

Sex Blog Roundup: Two Great Tastes

When it comes to ice cream, do you prefer vanilla or chocolate? Pistachio or butter pecan? Double ripple fudge chunk or cherries and cream with ... ok, you get the idea. Some decisions in life are just so tough to make that we often prefer not to make them. So whenever we can, we choose all of the above. (Isn't that’s why they invented the double dip?) In fact, there were so many tempting flavors on the menu this week in the sex blog scene (way more than 31, as a matter of fact) that we couldn't narrow it down to only one, which is why we're serving up two great tastes that taste great together: kissing and ass fucking. (As far as actually kissing ass, though ... well, you'll have to wait for another visit to the ice cream parlor for that.) More »

Not-So-Mixed Doubles

Have you been watching the U.S. Open this week? Neither have we! There just aren't that many compelling reasons to watch pro tennis these days. Other than sexy female players ... and their short skirts ... and the grunting and groaning they make when they smack the little ball ... and the sweating. But other than those very good reasons, there are no reasons to watch! Although just like this video, the semi-finals at this year's tournament will also include a brief subplot involving Peter North and a mermaid, so buy your tickets now! More »

Mixing Business With Pleasure

We've been to our fair share of porn production planning meetings over the years, and let us just tell you: they are exactly like this. The detailed discussions, the bitchy infighting, the midmeeting all-girl threeways ... everything in this clip rings completely true to life. — In fact, we think this scene might actually be from a new behind-the-scenes documentary about what the adult industry is really like. It's just that realistic! More »

Strap In, Strap On, Strap Out

The art of seduction is a tricky thing, especially if you get all your dating tips from porn. Normally, all you have do is unsnap a belt buckle and that is enough to get the action started, but occasionally a slow build up is required instead. Back rubs are a pretty solid technique too, but then it takes much longer—if you do them right—to go from "how was your day?" to "let's try out this strap on!" Patience is a virtue, but then again, so is a fast forward button. More »

Flesh Flicks: Lesbian Color Clash

We really have to admire the fashion sense of whoever was responsible for the art direction in this scene. A lot of people might have a problem with a purple psychedelic bedspread or dressing one of the combatants in green and red vertical striped hot pants paired with glowing bright yellow knee socks; some might even say that those would clash with the pink ensemble worn by her special lady friend. But the creative genius behind this erotic adventure does not do things the conventional way. (Neither does the music supervisor, unless you consider the "Miami Vice" soundtrack to be conventional.) The one thing we are having trouble with, however, is the white belt. Seriously, that look is so not working for us, especially with her skin tone. (Although it is keeping the strap-on in place, so it's not a total loss.) More »

Flesh Flicks: Green Acres Is The Place For Fucking

You know what they say—you can take the pornstar out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the pornstar. Some people may like waking up to the sounds of roosters and hungry piglets, but others prefer honking taxis and construction workers. The good news is that no matter what location you prefer to lay your head—up on Park Avenue or down on the farm—almost everyone enjoys a good round of morning sex when they wake up. It's those kinds of compromises that make fake movie relationships work. More »

Yes, we're as bummed any toilet humor-loving gaming nerd that ThinkGeek's Super Pii Pii Brothers was just an elaborate April Fool's prank, but that whole strap on Wii harness contraption has given us a few ideas of our own. "Fem Dom: Mean Girls: The Game", anyone? (thinkgeek.com - thanks J.)

Here They Come, The Members Of The "Strap-On Club"

Groucho Marx famously said that he would not want to belong to any club that would have him as a member, and having no need of a man's member is the object of "Strap-on Club 2," either a movie about girls having sex with girls with pink and mannish equipment or part of the B-52s' continuing comeback effort. More »

Sex Blog Roundup: Never Say Never

There are some things you always tell yourself you just won't do, ever ... that is, until you find yourself doing them. Today's roundup of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene this week finds our intrepid writers facing down their boundaries as they screw their co-workers, smack their lovers around on request, or stroke their strap-on dicks in a circle jerk. And while not pick up a new lover while you're at it, or pack a pair of handcuffs in your suitcase on your next trip? More »

Flesh Flicks: Turf Wars

Your mother probably warned you to stay out of the bad side of town, particularly if the bad side looks like an abandoned missile silo and clearly belongs to a gang that consists of exactly one woman who is into domination. Believe it or not, if you're on her territory without permission, the law allows her to turn you into a sexual play toy. (Hey, we don't write the laws we just enforce them!) Fortunately, you can ignore your mother's other advice to always have on clean underwear when you leave the house. Not only will they not stay clean in this neighborhood, you won't need them for very long anyway. More »

Peg, It Will Come Back To You: "FemDom: Mean Girls"

"You look pretty with a cock in your mouth," says evil Annie Cruz to Christian in "Fem Dom: Mean Girls." Woman-on-man strap-on sex, or pegging, is making its way into porn's mainstream, and this video features the likes of Penny Flame and Gwen Diamond also giving the business end to their male partners. The difference between this and extra-submissive pegging movies is that the guys turn the tables at the end, so the squeamish can tune in for the final third of each scene. Directed with tenderness by Vincent Voss, this movie is an ideal Valentine's Day gift for the mean girl in your life. More »

Sex Blog Roundup: Holiday Grab Bag Edition

It seems like everything is about making lists this time of year: wish lists, gift lists, shopping lists, grocery lists ... the lists go on. But why do we spend so much time anticipating our wants? Here's what we all could use: someone else to do the thinking for us. In today's roundup of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene this week, our stalwart Santas have searched high and low to bring you this grab bag of sexy choices. Lights on or off? Cock packed or passed over? In private or for an audience, au natural or enhanced? Here's hoping you get what you really, really want. More »

Furry Girl's Christmas Festivus Wish

In our roundup of babes in their holiday finery yesterday we somehow managed to overlook the bewitching Furry Girl, who sent us along a copy of her holiday greeting card along with some preview pics from her latest strapon-themed photoset along with a reminder that "Naked chick(s) in a Santa hat who wants to give you the gift of prostate stimulation" deserve our love and attention around this special time of year as well. (And need we remind you that she's not exactly included in our general wariness about girls who wear fake-fur trimmed Santa hats since all that fur she's sporting is totally the real deal?)
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Audrey Hollander Is "On The Prowl"

DCypher reports: Otto Bauer and Audr(e)y Hollander are arguably the First Couple of porn. Actually, maybe you should think of them more like the John and Elizabeth Edwards of porn, with Audrey possessing the same kind of unconditional love and respect for her man that drove Elizabeth to go head on with trash talking transsexual terrorist Ann Coulter while still undergoing chemo treatments. That's the kind of bond Otto and Audrey share, one based a shared desire to fuck the world (literally) and cemented in sticky bodily fluids. More »

Good Dyke Porn (No, Really)

We love Good Dyke Porn's tagline, borrowed as it is from 1964 Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart in regard to obscenity: "I know it when I see it" (which he later recanted as being untenable, but still). But even more than the sass, we especially love all the real, dripping wet, amateur lesbian trysts in glorious fistfuls throughout the site ... and we really mean fistfuls, as evidenced in titles like "Fantastic Fisting #3". There are lots of free video preview samples and even a bargain-basement monthly rate for cheapskates like us: the Cheap Dyke Porn page delivers video clips for a mere $4 a month. We know girl-girl when we see it, but what do you know: this is really good dyke porn! More »

Watch "Popwhore" Tatum Reed get fucked by a bona fide strap-on wielding tattooed lesbian dyke. Nothing against porno pseudo-lesbians, but they'll have to sit this one out. (pornzio.com + ilovepopwhore.com)

Oh, Melissa Midwest ... how could you take advantage of poor Winnie The Pooh like that? At this point, are there any lovable friends from our youth who haven't done porn? (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

Flesh Flicks: Sweet Revenge?

Try as we might, we will never understand swingers. The whole "wanting to have sex with lots of people" thing makes perfect sense, but when one of the partners breaks their established ground rules regarding extracurricular screwing, their reactions can be a bit puzzling. For example, when most women find out that the babysitter has fucked their husband they don't usually "punish" him by forcing the young lady to come back and do it again. And she also doesn't normally teach her friend a lesson by taking a piece of the action herself first. But hey, we're not here to judge. If taking a strap-on to the woman who wronged you is part of your lifestyle choice, we're perfectly happy to enjoy the results. More »

Strapping on a dildo can leave a girl feeling like she's missing something: sure, she's got a nice new penis to play with, but where are her balls? Enter the Goodfella, the answer to the problem you didn't know you had. We're pleased to note that this anatomically complete member comes in multiple skin tones: after all, you don't have to be white to want some balls to call your own. (store.babeland.com)

Evidently inspired by a certain regular visitor to our Marital Aid Test Kitchen features, Madonna was spotted leaving a London hotel carrying a "Purple Penetrator" strap-on dildo. Good to know that the old gal still has it in her. (So will Guy Ritchie, apparently.) (dailymail.co.uk; make like Madonna and order your own Purple Penetrator here)

Flesh Flicks: Top That!

We like how the girls in this video continually escalate their toy arsenal as if they were part of a Cold War-era dildo arms race: from a few a well-placed fingers on up to the double dong, every time you think they've reached the top they take it to another level. So industrious those porn lesbians are! Now if all leaders settled their pissing contests in such a non-threatening and mutually beneficial sort of way, the world would be a much nicer place. More »

Flesh Flicks: Ride 'Em Cowgirl

Why do inanimate objects have all the fun? It's hard enough for an actual carbon-based life form to find a sexy girl who is willing to hop on board—and keep her hat on while doing so—without our plastic friends stealing all the action. All we know is, she better not complain to her friends later about how he's "emotionally unavailable." He may be a doll with a cock that doesn't quit, but that's not the kind of dude you take home to meet the folks. More »

Care Bear Porn (Yes, There Is Nothing Sacred)

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Sexy Diptychs by Melvin Moten

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Flesh Flicks: Life Lessons

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Sex Blog Roundup: Dressed To Thrill

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Photoplay: Kimberly Kane and Lindsay Meadows

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Sex Blog Roundup: Mixing It Up

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