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Erotica L.A. On 300 Threads Or Less

Foot massagers! Motörhead shirts! Wearable bongs! If these don't say "erotic" to you, you probably still need porn stars for stimulation.

All right. Erotica L.A. had those, too, in its three-day consumer fleshly bazaar at the L.A. Convention Center. But for those of us with more refined libidos, there was also a booth selling Egyptian cotton sheets. And if you need to ask how those are erotic, you've never jerked off to Lemmy Kilmister.

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National Masturbation Month Reaches Its Climax Missed last Sunday's SF Masturbate-A-Thon? SF Weekly has a wrap up of the event, complete with a photo gallery. If you flip through the pictures real fast, it's almost like you're actually living it—doubly so if you're touching yourself at the same time. (And try not to forget Portland's Masturbate-A-Thon this Sunday! It hard to believe the month is almost over!) (masturbate-a-thon.com + blogs.sfweekly.com + masturbate-a-thon.org)

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Marital Aids Of The Future: Ryder Skye Gets Parts Engooped

The delightful Ryder Skye has had a cupcake batter-like substance (at least that's what I'd do) dumped on her in an attempt to strike a mold of her frame for the purpose of at-home mounting. As you can see from the photograph, the mixture was lovingly applied; there was probably a soprano saxophonist nearby, blowing slow over dusky rhythms.

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masturbation celebration

Twittergasms: The Real San Francisco Treat

Cable cars, dot com gazillionaires and Golden Gates aside, San Francisco is known for many things: its values, homegrown institutions like Kink.com, and generally being the object of Sodom-by-the-Bay nightmares for the entire Bible Belt. And let's not forget that everyone's favorite city also midwifed National Masturbation Month, which is getting more tech-savvy every year. This time around the San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon—a fundraiser for SF's Center for Sex and Culture hosted by Nina Hartley on Sunday, May 25—will not only be doing its customary livecast of the wank-off, but has also launched a snazzy new blog and Facebook page and is promising plenty of Twittergasms to all comers. Read what a Twittergasm is, how to have one, and why masturbatrix extraordinaire Carol Queen says you should never, ever fake one after the jump. More »

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Time Out New York Is So Horny

To celebrate the recent release of their new Horny Issue, Time Out New York invited a select few hot bodied New Yorkers to celebrate spring with some drinking, debauchery, and a couple of rounds of Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle. We stopped by to see just how horny New Yorkers can get, and as it happens the answer is "very." Photo proof after the jump. More »

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Super-Funtime With Lana Croft And Friends

Lana Croft, whom last we saw in these virtual pages being mesmerized by Ange Venus and some Asian sirens, is back in a wet and wild adventure from the serene David Aaron Clark, who subtitled his latest movie "Mr. Hentai's Super-Funtime Asian Pool Party." (Never mind that Clark has never been an Asian a day in his life.) We asked what the movie would be about when he was planning it. "There will be a pool there, that's all I know." he said. "Then the magic will happen."

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Celebrating Five Years Of Rated X Panty Parties (And Naked Hipsters)

The kids, they grow up so fast these days: it seems like just yesterday that we were attending our very first Rated X Panty Party and watching gaggles of barely legal naked hipsters and assorted celebutantes and hot tranny messes scamper toplessly (and sometimes bottomlessly!) around Don Hill's and various downtown bars. And now here they all are five years later, all grown up and ... uh, still running around Don Hill's without their clothes on and doing all sorts of things they'd never be seen doing in the light of day. (It's OK though; we haven't grown up much in the last five years either.)

Relive the magic all over again for the very first time with an exclusive photogallery of this weekend's festivities by the very debonair Nikola Tamindzic after the jump.

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Popshots Of The Week: Seeing Stars At The 2008 XRCO Awards

This year's XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) Awards were a departure from the genuinely directionless world of porn awards shows in that they started pretty close to when they should have and, halfway through, people were still sitting down to watch.

Of course, being an adult awards show, there was much more going on everywhere but the stage. Still, we made sure to watch now and then, seeing as how we're voters. See our gallery (now fully captioned!) after the gap.

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Family Fun At The Power Exchange We're glad that someone tipped us off to this great video about San Francisco's inimitable Power Exchange, a "family friendly sex club" even a mother could love—especially if she's into painting cow motifs on the walls of your bondage den. Looks like just the place to take our own family the next time they visit the City By The Bay! (On second thought ... maybe we'll just stick with Fisherman's Wharf.)

Up Close And Even More Personal With ... Uh, Whatever You Call This Thing With all of the semi-hysterical NSFW warnings they put in before the juicy part starts (literally!), you'd think our brethren at Gizmodo and their readers had never seen an educational video clip featuring an internal vag-o-cam cumshot closeup before. (OK, so maybe we hadn't either, but still. Amateurs!) We know you might be tempted to try this at home after certain DIY tips we've shared with you this week, but ... seriously, don't.

Burning Angel celebrated its sixth anniversary this weekend with a kickass party at NYC's Rififi that you didn't go to, which we would totally gloat about if it weren't for the fact that we weren't there either. So let's just all console ourselves by drooling over Igor's pictures from Friday night together, shall we? (gallery @ drivenbyboredom.com)

For some folks, last weekend's Exxxotica Miami was an excuse to pass out anti-porn propoganda; for others, it was an opportunity to go face-to-breast with assorted porn babes and take pictures of Ron Jeremy. See? Porn really is all things to all people! (uncoached.com)

porn mysteries

Where In The World Is Hillary Scott? (Part 2)

When last we spoke, Hillary Scott was nowhere to be found among the "Not the Bradys" family, having been replaced by Teagan Presley (who had herself been replaced by Stoya as a Digital Playground contract performer, but that's another story). So we looked to the skies to find Hillary Scott ... and there she was, on a roof in downtown Los Angeles freezing her parts off as she filmed her next movie, "Icon."

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Exxxotica Miami: The Five-Minute Version

Anyone who is anyone was in Florida this past weekend for the Exxotica: Miami show. Except us! (Because we hate airplanes and the sun!) Fortunately, someone was there with a camera to document the whole shebang and compile everything that happened into this handy video. So thanks to Daily Tang for braving the crowds and saving us from having to eat convention hall hot dogs. Sure, we would have liked to been there to catch up with Jesse Jane and all the rest of the porny people in person, but some things just weren't meant to be. (Like that crazy teeth-whitening machine. That's just not right.)

· SCENES FROM EXXXOTICA MIAMI (dailytang.com)

porn mysteries

Where In The World Is Hillary Scott? (Part 1)

Hanging over the set of "Not the Bradys XXX 2" (yes, if there can be an "Agent Cody Banks 2," there can be a "Not the Bradys XXX 2") was the pregnant question "Where's Marcia, Marcia, Marcia?" You see, back in Ought-7, Hillary Scott originated that role in the first "Not the Bradys XXX." But contractual obligations conspired to take Scott away from the series to replace her with former Digital Playground star Teagan Presley. What? You're saying this means nothing to you and that you're more concerned about who will replace John Travolta in the remake of "Dallas"? Well, Hillary's absence is big news here, anyway. Read more after the gap.

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K. Belo Bikinis: Is It Summer Yet?

It might not quite be bikini weather yet, but temperatures were definitely rising at last night's K. Belo fashion show in New York City ... and luckily, we got the chance to sneak backstage and snap a few pictures of this sexy new line of swimwear. With suits as bangin' as these just waiting for gals to put on (and, um, take off), bikini season can't come soon enough.
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Viv Thomas' Jo Is The Hottest Babe ... This Year

You know how people like to say that the AVN Awards are the Oscars of porn? Well, Viv Thomas' Babe Of The Year contest is like the AVN Award for Female Performer of the Year for European porn—or at least for the European porn that's produced by Mr. Thomas, and except that the ceremony is a lot shorter and you don't end up losing all your money at the craps table afterward. While the company awarded itself several other prizes during a gala evening in Budapest last week the one that really matters is the Babe of the Year, which went to the simply-named Jo, a seven-year member of Viv Thomas' team of Eastern European superbabes. (That's her on the left, with last year's winner Nella.) Was the awards party as glamorous or melon-scented as a week at the Sands Expo Center? Maybe not, but judging by the photo gallery below the attendees sure look happy and well-rested. Which is more than we can say for half of the people in Vegas. More »

Sex 2.0 Wrapup(s) We'd totally gloat about all the stimulating talk and cupcake-strewn shenanigans you missed at the Sex 2.0 conference in Atlanta this weekend, except ... uh, we weren't there either. Fortunately, plenty of our funky pals and assorted crush objects are posting about it today, so at least we have an idea of what went on. Is it too early to start making our plans for Sex 3.0 next year? (thesexcarnival.com + funkybrownchick.com + lustylady.blogspot.com + wakingvixen.com; see also video @ Naked City)