· Britney Spears' Pussy is Back (egotastic.com)

Could we have finally reached the depths of "celebrity sex tape" desperation? Vivid has excitedly announced the latest offering from their celebrity reality show has-been line of quality films, "Toastee Exposed," "starring" (their air quotes, not ours) "Flavor of Love 2" and recent "Charm School" reject Jennifer "Toastee" Toof. Yes, always respectable "celebrity image broker" David Hans Schmidt is involved, but considering that (a) even by reality show standards, she's barely a star, (b) she actually has a history of appearing in adult films before, (c) it doesn't look to be of the "leaked" homemade tape variety (it's just a professionally shot scene that she happens to be in), and (d) the announcement was oh-so-coincidentally timed to the day after she got booted from VH1's "Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School," this seems like Vivid and Schmidt's—and humanity's—biggest reach to date. After finally ending the saga of She Who Shall Not Be Named just yesterday, you'll have to understand why we're a little weary with the whole idea at this point. But hey, if skull-crushing basic cable TV stars are what get you hot, then feel free to ignore us and get to ordering. (And it has a cool box cover. We'll at least give it that.)

· Toastee Exposed (toasteeexposed.com)
· Vivid to Release Flavor of Love Star's Sex Tape (avn.com)

Previously: Toastee's Takedown: "Flavor Of Love"'s Porn Star, Deep Inside David Hans Schmidt, Porn Valley Dispatch: Kim Kardashian Finds A Lump

· Jessica Biel will take off her clothes for a movie if it's integral to the plot. Fortunately, her bra plays a very important role in her next film. (tunaflix.com + egotastic.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

· You've got to hand it to a guy who not only exposes himself publicly, but also makes sure to have just the right lighting to show off his junk. (upi.com)

· When the headline reads "Man in unfortunate saw-mill penis incident," you can probably figure out the rest of the story on your own. (metro.co.uk)

· An Australian man came home to find out that not only had he been robbed, the burglars had sex in his bed. If only they'd remembered to steal the sheets, it would have been the perfect crime. (upi.com)

· Don't forget that the big .XXX vote is tomorrow! It's like the feeling you get on Christmas Eve, only ... the exact opposite of that. (theage.com.au)

· Oh right, about that headline: Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston finally fulfileld every "Friends" slash porn fan's dream and kissed on TV! Woohoo! Wait ... that's it? (YouTube, via Defamer)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Our long national nightmare wait is nearly over: Barring any further delays, lawsuits, acts of God, or the unplugging of internet, next Wednesday you will finally be able to own an official copy of "Kim Kardashian, Superstar." According to Complex magazine, Vivid is so excited to be distributing this wonderful, high-quality sex tape that they've declared March 21 to be Kim Kardashian Day. Hooray for imaginary holidays! Of course, all this excitement assumes that you have been without electricity for the last two months and haven't already tracked down all the best parts on your favorite forum or download site. Or maybe you knew that this was just too important to settle for some silly bootleg and only an actual DVD would suffice. In order to prepare for the big day, you should pre-order the disc now—or the download that you can burn to your own disc—and then double check with your employer to make sure you have some vacation time coming to you. After all, Kim Kardashian Day only comes but once a ... well, once.

· A Real National Holiday: Kim Kardashian Day (complex.com)
· Order: "Kim Kardashian Superstar" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: Kim Kardashian, "Superstar", More Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Dribbles, Happy Steak and Blowjob Day!, Flesh Flicks: Happy Threesome Day (Observed)!

It is a measure of the sorry state of celebrity nipplehood lately that the biggest news in the famous boob scene this week are these pictures of a topless Sienna Miller which are pretty much the same photos that were making the rounds a few weeks ago, only better quality and with the added feature of some curiously inverted bikini cameltoe action as a special bonus. We here at Fleshbot apologize for the dearth in new material during what will undoubtedly one day be known as the Great Celebrity Boob Drought of Ought-Seven, and assure you we continue to do our best to bring you whatever naked jugglies you haven't seen before while reminding you that despite your disinterested yawns, things could be a lot worse: at least we're not telling you about another sighting of Paris Hilton's nether regions. Even we're not that desperate for material.

· Sienna Miller Topless Beach Candids @ Egotastic and Drunken Stepfather (egotastic.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

Previously: Celebrity NippleWatch™ Archive

You know that times are tough in the celebrity scandal biz when pictures of one of the stars of TV's most popular show (allegedly) giving a blowjob are met with a collective yawn by the most of the country. Of course, now that a few days have passed we realize that our cynicism was not unjustified since the illicit photos of American Idol finalist Antonella Barba that surfaced last week are—surprise!—not her. At least, that seems to be the verdict based on some rather elaborate photographic analysis techniques conducted by people who should really be working for the FBI. The toilet photos, the semi-topless beach pics, the wet t-shirt contest in the World War II Memorial fountains ... those are totally real, but the hardcore snaps are definitely not her. Probably. We mean, it's the internet so who can ever really be sure of anything these days, but we're mostly convinced this time and we're ready to move on. When those photos of Paula Abdul giving Ryan Seacrest a reach-around surface, give us a call.

· "Antonella Barba Blowjob Pictures are 100 Percent Fake" (derekhail.com)
· "The Sexy Side of the WWII Memorial" (bigheaddc.com)

Previously: BREAKING: American Idol Contestant Gives Blowjobs! (Maybe)