Sexlets: The Gum That Lets You Sex

Pills require a prescription, and those sketchy packets of bodega "male enhancer" are just, well, sketchy. So why not source your erection enhancing needs out to a chewing gum? A sexy chewing gum, that is. More »

Name That Shlong—And Win A Prize!

Sure, as a connoisseur of adult film, you've seen a lot of penises: but how well do you know penises from other parts of the animal kingdom? In partnership with the Sundance Channel, we're giving you a chance to show ofr your P.Q.—and win a prize, too. More »

"One Eyed Monster" Has No Time For Subtlety

"One Eyed Monster" (aka the horror-comedy starring Carmen Hart and Ron Jeremy that's not a porn) has a release date... and the wangiest set of (unofficial) movie posters we've seen, um, ever. More »

The Penis That Took Over GTA IV

Yesterday we mentioned a certain flaccid penis making an appearance in a certain video game. Today we've gotten screencaps of said wang: behold it in all its digital glory. More »

GTA IV Goes Full Frontal

Well, it looks like the GTA is going the way of "Walk Hard" and stirring up controversy with—gasp!—a flaccid penis. We haven't been this shocked since Evan Stone's flaccid penis interrupted the Super Bowl. More »

It's A Super-Funpacked Double Edition Of Faithmouse This Week!

Censorship may have forced our friend Dan Lacey to remove his last cartoon from eBay, but he's back this week with two, count em, two erotic artworks. More »

The Joydick: One Less Reason To Take Your Hands Out Of Your Pants

We've often prayed for a way to combine our two favorite activities (playing videogames and masturbating, of course). Aside from just sticking our hands down our pants during Rock Band, that is. More »

Going Deeper With The Cyberskin Penis Extension

I admit that I have never asked myself how things might change if I only had an extra four inches (though I sometimes wish bank machines would dispense five dollar bills again). But I was intrigued at the thought of my parts being a third black, like I had vitaligo or was the 70's-era Boston Celtics. That is why I tried out the Cyberskin 4" Extra Thick Transformer Penis Extension. (BTW: Grimace is packing the Caucazoid version.) More »

Plagued by premature ejaculation? Good news: it's not your fault! Hardworking scientists have discovered that there's a gene that's correlated to premature ejaculation. We're not sure why that's supposed to make anyone feel any better—but hey, at least you know what's to blame for your two minutes in heaven. (bbc.co.uk, via BuzzFeed)

This is the end result of global warming—an ocean full of giant penis icebergs. Yes, our coastlines will be underwater, but at least it we'll be slightly amused by it. (metro.co.uk)

The founder of the company that makes the fake penis enlargement pill Enzyte has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for fraud (!). That's what you get for making people feel bad about their small penises ... and defrauding the public of about $400 million. Now will people stop buying that crap? (ap.google.com)

Will Wright Okays Spore Penis Monsters

Remember those Spore penis monsters everyone was going crazy making when the hotly anticipated game's creature generator was released a few months ago? Well it seems that Spore's designer Will Wright is perfectly okay with them — in fact, he's even impressed by what he's seen. Maybe he should have told that to the moderators before they started killing off all those delightful dick-shaped creatures and ruining the fun for everyone? (biz.yahoo.com)

The poor fellow underneath the sheet here is not dead—he's merely being extracted from a rather delicate situation. And by that we mean his penis is being extracted from the steel bench that he tried to hump. Just so you know, if you're desperate to try a metal cock ring there are better ways to go about it. (weirdasianews.com)

Spanish artist Jaime del Val makes his art by walking around Madrid with a camera strapped to his (exposed) penis and then projecting giant images of his member on the sides of building and churches. We guess that's as good a way to express yourself as any. (metro.co.uk, via nerve.com)

If you can't afford an expensive prescription, you might be able to find a natural solution to your boner problems at your local grocery store: recent studies have shown that watermelons contain ingredients that work like Viagra. Which explains that one night after our Fourth of July picnic last year ... (nerve.com, thumbnail via justteensite.com via Ask Jolene)

We thought ourselves well acquainted with the wild and crazy world of dickisms, but after briefly browsing Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms, we realize we're mere novices when it comes to conversing about the 21st digit. If you can take a break from wrestling with Beastus Maximus, check out this comprehensive database and learn every term from A to Zamboner. (starma.com, via dailybedpost.com)

Sure, you've got a giant penis—but how are you supposed to let everyone know about it? Just leave a bottle of "Penis Reduction Pills" lying around the house and let the label spread the word for you! Don't worry, though—they're just sugar pills, so your massively unwieldy schlong won't be going anywhere. (penisreductionpills.com, via yesbutnobutyes.com; thumbnail via Pornstars Like It Big)

This Just In: Pornstars Still Like It Big

Since we last reported on this important topic, we'd love to be able to tell you that there's been a sea change in the way the adult industry views men with average-sized members, and that the whole "size matters" debate is one we can relegate to the dustbin of history along with Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, the musical version of "Carrie", and the last season of "American Idol". But alas, Brazzers' latest compilation of scenes from their PornStarsLikeItBig.com website clearly shows us that this is not the case—and no amount of penis pumping or Enzyte or yohimbe can make up for it. More »

The makers of fake penis-expanding pill Enzyte are thinking about maybe making some minor "changes" to the business, since you know ... all their top executives, the company founder (and his mother) were convicted of bank fraud, money laundering and conspiracy charges and admitted in federal court that their product is a complete fairy tale. You would think those are the kind of setbacks that would put a company out of business, but that's the American entrepreneurial spirit for you! (avn.com)

If you're looking for a tourist destination this summer, may we recommend the Icelandic Phallological Museum? It may sound silly, but can you think of a better use of your time on Iceland than a stop at the penis museum? (reuters.com + ismennt.is - thanks Tits)

Wow, is it penis festival time already? Of course, our fertility shrines always seem to stay up for months just like all our other holiday decorations, so it always tends to take us by surprise. (tokyotimes.org)

Chocolate Dick Hats: A Hands-On

If you're like us (and you are, aren't you?), you've spent the last few weeks wondering whether Chocolate Dick Hats were legitimate sexual enhancement products or just a useless (but tasty!) novelty item destined to wind up giggled over but unused in bachelorette party grab bags the world over. Fortunately, we managed to get our hands on a few samples and answer this important question once and for all so we can all get back to wondering about ... uh, other stuff. So what did our crack consumer testing team find out? More »

The government may not be happy about this, but Japan's high court has ruled that naughty penis photos can actually be art—or more specifically a Robert Mapplethorpe book that has been banned several times in the past. Naturally, this news comes courtesy of our favorite source for Japanese male genitalia updates ... The Economist. (economist.com, photo via tribecafinearts.com - thanks Zach)

This is the longest newspaper article you will ever read about vibrating cock rings. If fact, you might need something buzzing you just to get through the whole thing. (observer.com)

To the surprise of ... well, no one really, it turns out those Enzyte "male enhancement supplements" are completely worthless. Even a former executive just admitted in court that their marketing was total bullshit. We're not legal experts, but that might hurt them in their little $100 million federal fraud case. (Oh, and in case you hadn't figured it out yet, don't buy them.) (enquirer.com)

As the weather starts getting colder, it's important to bundle up—something for which this hand-crocheted Willie Warmer will come in handy. Of course, we can think of better ways to keep your nether regions warm, but at least this one comes in multiple colors so you can coordinate with different outfits. (etsy.com)

A man in England had to be rescued by firefighters who had to remove a metal ring from his penis with a ... um ... er ... mini hand grinder. A moment of silence, please. (bbc.co.uk)

So you think you pulled a pretty good prank on your rival high school back in the day, huh? Well, was it visible from outer space? Maybe you should have paid a little more attention in art class. (google.com)

German soccer fans are turgid with excitement after Bayern-Munich's Mario Gomez becomes the first player in Bundesliga history to score a goal ... with his penis. Unfortunately, Gomez was later red carded for a blatant hand ball foul. (Historic video after the jump.) More »

Apparently, some Google News readers get bent out of shape over having to see an uncircumcised penis in the middle of their headlines. Well, do they want information they can use or not? (seroundtable.com)

A woman in Nigeria is accused of stealing her lover's "organ" (metaphorically, we think?) and he gets arrested after forcibly trying to get it back. A similar thing happened to us once, but we just thought it was because we drank too much beer. (allafrica.com)

Hey guys, it turns out there may be an actual reason why the tip of your penis looks like a fleshy mushroom cap. Yes, there are real doctors who investigate this stuff for a living. (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

It turns out that Viagra may do more than just give you a hard cock, it may turn you into a lovesick puppy ... with a hard cock. Sounds like another cure that just might be worse than the disease. (cnn.com, via Jezebel)

A new study suggests that uncircumcised men who wash their penises immediately after sex may be at higher risk for contracting HIV. Just make sure you wash eventually. (nytimes.com)

Gothamist conducts an exit interview with Colleen Kane, who is stepping down as a Senior Editor for Playgirl Magazine. Her job was probably a lot like yours, except with more penis. (gothamist.com)