A man in Brighton, England, has been given a restraining order and may not go with 100 yards of his girlfriend's apartment ... because they are too loud when they have sex and the neighbors can't take it anymore. Or maybe they're just jealous? (bbc.co.uk)

Best Of Sex Advice: Unlearn What You Have Learned

We all have bad habits — whether it's snoring or not picking up your socks or forgetting to wear pants to the opera — but the important thing to remember is that you can change. Do you have trouble staying monogamous? Try a threesome! Do you have foul tasting spunk? Try pineapple juice! Does the sight of vagina make you ill? Try being gay! There's a solution to all your problems, even if you simply made up a problem in order to get your name printed in an advice column. Think you can pick out which of this week's questions are real and which are pure entertainment? If not... hey, there's another skill for you to learn! More »

In the last few months, men in England have been arrested for attempting to have sex with a bicycle, a fence, a vacuum cleaner and now ... a lamp post. We don't know what's going on over there, but maybe a certain governor could recommend some alternative forms of entertainment for these fellows? (telegraph.co.uk)

Best Of Sex Advice: Vagina Things You Need To Know

The problem with sex is that there are boy parts and girl parts, and sometimes it's hard for boys to make the girl parts happy (and vice versa) since boys only know how to make their own boy parts happy. Of course, sometimes he wants to make another boy's parts happy (or a girl with another girl's parts) and they still seem to have trouble with that too. And now that we think about it, there are tons of boys and girls who don't even know how their own parts work and couldn't possibly be expected to make anybody's else parts happy too. What's the moral of this story and this week's sex advice questions? Everyone needs to learn how a vagina works ASAP. That's the only way us boys and girls are ever going to get out of this mess alive. More »

Best Of Sex Advice: We're Listening

In case you were keeping track, we did miss our Best of Sex Advice roundup for the last couple of weeks — but not because of laziness or forgetfulness or even neglect. Frankly, your problems just weren't that interesting! Maybe everyone was just feeling cocky in their post-Valentine's Day bliss, or maybe—heaven forbid!—you're actually starting to figure this stuff out on your own. That would be a sad blow to our nation's underworked and underpaid advice columnists. And bloggers who desperately need silly things to make fun of. Won't you please think of them (and us) the next time you're worried that your lover/parents/teachers will find out about your kinky fetish, or worse ... that your kinky fetish isn't freaky enough to talk about in a major national newspaper? Nonsense! No matter how sexually enlightened some of you may be, we'll still be sitting here waiting to read all about those of you who aren't. More »

Everyone's favorite English-language Japanese newspaper, the Mainichi Daily News, brings us the sad tale of the distressing number of men who suffer from vaginal ejaculation disorder—or "an inability to ejaculate inside the vagina." It's true. They're called virgins. (mainichi.jp)

Best Of Sex Advice: You're On Your Own

Seeing all the people who turn to advice columnists for help with their freaky problems, and reading about the various crazy scenarios that threaten to bring down every relationship imaginable, it's any wonder that anybody wants to date another person ever. Never mind trying to find someone who would return the favor. Sometimes it seems the only alternative is to give up and assume a life of neverending celibacy ... or more likely, masturbation. Or get yourself thrown in jail and eliminate the other options! That's the situation one writer finds himself in this week, so we suppose there are drawbacks to that plan as well. The prison porn library probably leaves a lot to be desired. More »

Persistent sexual arousal syndrome strikes again! This time it's in the person of Sarah Carmen who has 200 orgasms a day (!) without even trying. (!!) Hmm, think it's contagious, because we suspect that some of the interns might be coming down with something. (newsoftheworld.co.uk, via sexoteric.com)

A quarter of UK women are too fat to fasten their own bras, which is great because a quarter of all geeks are too klutzy to unhook them. We think the solution is pretty obvious here, isn't it? (sky.com + kontraband.com)