Fleshbot: straight, transsexual

"Little Asian Transsexuals 16": We're As Surprised As You Are

Gram Ponante — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:00:00 EDT

What has porn taught us about life? I know that if the petite Asian with Michelle Obama's arms isn't actually Michelle Obama, then she's probably a katoey. Other than that, porn hasn't added anything to my excellent Catholic School education.

These rangy and wiry trannies cavort and bewitch against a teal wall in transsexualest Thailand. Some look a little bit like a less-fecund Katsuni, others are unmistakeably male.

Fleshbot readers, I remember the first time I encountered fake breasts. Perhaps because they were so obvious, it took me a long time to appreciate fake breasts in general. Now, because I am a sophisticate, I think of them with the same fondness as legs (yes, I like real breasts best, but like fake breasts as much as I like legs, which I also like quite a bit).

Anyway, for the tranny lovers out there, do you prefer your trannies mannish or more feminine? Discuss.

Fleshbot OMG: Caipirinha Edition

Gram Ponante — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:00:00 EDT

I was really expecting this to be a creampie movie. Dany De Castro looks a lot like those mannish field hockey-playing girls from my prep school days. "No more cotillions for you, Dany," I thought, "now that you're in porn."

Well, Dany has a dick.

This one (the realization, not the dick) crept up on me.

Should I have guessed by the oddly-placed tattoo? The smallish, muscular breast? Yeah, maybe, but years of sensitivity training has taught me to over look those indicators of penis-having.

Thanks, Fleshbot inservice!

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Blondes Have More Cum" (gamelink.com)

Untucking "Girlfriends"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:00:00 EDT

With a title like "Girlfriends???", I expected a film about the backstabbing duplicity of trophy wives or False Facebook Friends. But this tale of love on the bikini-line-lined streets of Brazil featured other subequatorial shenanigans.

Girlfriends???

Studio: Third World Media
Director: Ed Hunter
Cast: Talita, Paola Felix, Erika, Gisely, Nicole, Thays, Nataly, Paola Lima

Review by: Gram Ponante

When it became clear that Girlfriends? was about trannies in trysts with bio-women, I wondered if there'd be a part of each scene devoted to The Reveal. After all, it is well-documented that women only engage in Sapphic relationships because they've been hurt by, or wish to get back at, men, and to have the woman to whom you've entrusted your vengeance reveal that she, too, is a dude must be a Great Moment in Cinema.

I also wondered, as a pornologist, how the trannies themselves must feel about an encounter with less-Adam's Apple-y versions of themselves.

So this movie, with its simple but ambiguous title, has a lot of context in it already.

But if Talita and Paola Felix were surprised or jealous of each other in Girlfriends?' opening scene, none of it is made plain. This is probably because they have rich inner lives.

Talita, who looks like a combination of Elizabeth Berkeley and Jenny Hendrix (above the waist) and who has a penchant for looking at the camera, performs better and appears to be enjoying herself more than most trannies, perhaps because she feels she might be fucking a mermaid.

It is unclear from the credits who is who. International Porn Naming Standards dictate that the female be listed before the male in every pairing but IPNS are hazy on Tranny/bio-woman scenes. So I assume that Talita is the transsexual here, simply because it sounds a little Fabulous.

Erika, who is listed first in the credits in a scene also featuring Gisely, is less so. Gisely is a ripe Sao Paulo beauty and Erika seems to be her rough-talking cab driver.

A slightly disturbing scene is the one between Nicole and Thays. Nicole, you see, is uncircumcised and is the first of this group who seems like she might be not particularly attracted to her partner, who seems perfectly nice and would have no trouble catching hetero fellas. But in their post-coital shower scene (a staple in Ed Hunter's tranny movies, we've found), all seems forgiven.

Some sort of transsexual tectonic shift occurs in the final scene between Nataly and Paola Lima, however. Lima, the bio-woman, seems to be rocking the disaffected hooker look normally donned by transsexuals in such films, whereas the (again, uncircumcised) Nataly is, by comparison, all sweetness and light.

While I would have welcomed an attempt to dramatize The Reveal a little more, Girlfriends? is a good example of an emerging niche with somewhere to go; when confronted with the idea of trannies and bio-women, we think: "What might that look like?" and "That might actually happen!" as opposed to our feelings about Transsexual MILFs and Transsexual Babysitters and Barely Legal Trannies.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Girlfriends???" (gamelink.com)

Bring Me The Mouth Of Allanah Starr

Gram Ponante — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:30:01 EST

"Look for the Adam's Apple!" one is told as one plans a Thailand vacation. But what if the Cyberskin mouth masturbator one mail-ordered doesn't have one? Has one still stuck one's cock in a tranny?

Allanah Starr is truly America's Transsexual and fully deserving of this massive Cyberskin fauxjob mouth. But what, other than the fact that this is no dainty little mouth on a stalk, identifies it as a transsexual mouth?

I think the traditional tranny story, passed down through the ages, goes something like this: Man meets hot prospect at a bar, they go back to his place, date asks for anal, Man happily complies, dawn reveals date has morning wood. Yes, it is a delightful bit of Americana, first revealed in an early draft of Lincoln's second inaugural speech. But can the same thing happen to someone like me, rifling through his cabinets looking for Bree Olson's mouth and then - but only after - realizing the shocking tranny truth?

And you thought you knew all there was to know about the crying game.

Allanah Starr's Cyberskin Deep Throat Stroker is a substantial piece of work, proud, and impossible to conceal in a little Hello Kitty backpack. The package comes with lube and a delicious sense of foreboding.

· Buy Allanah Starr's Cyberskin Deep Throat Stroker (69adulttoys.com)
· Allanah Starr will try anything once (gramponante.com)
· Topco Sales (topcosales.us)

Transsexuals: Little. Asian. Uncircumcised.

Gram Ponante — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:00:00 EST

This much is true about tranny movies: however much fun the katoeys don't seem to be having, you can be assured the orgasms are real.

Little Asian Transsexuals 13

Studio: Third World Media
Director: Ed Hunter
Cast: Nong ("and her uncut dong"), Gam, Jess, Anna

Review by: Gram Ponante

When I started reviewing porn, I thought that transsexuals only had an appeal for men or woman who had fucked everything else and needed bigger and bigger thrills. That is why it made sense to me that Nacho Vidal had graduated to trannies. But the first few transsexual movies I watched made me think differently: while the thrill element might be true for people like Nacho, the trannies themselves seemed uniformly indifferent to what was happening to them.

Then I watched Gia Darling Will Kick Your Ass! Watching Darling's spirited performance brought me to the conclusion that, since most trannies in porn are also hookers, the hooker attitude takes over. This is where we see the blank eyes and performances full of ennui.

It is with these expectations I viewed "Little Asian Transsexuals 13," and I was not disappointed!

We start with the uncircumcized Nong. Director Ed Hunter provides several interesting shots involving staring down both barrels, as it were. Nong's scene partner looks like he might be an Immortal on the way to a Quickening; he has an 18th century look with a 21st century cockstrap.

Nong reaches her own climax but the camera pans away before we see issue. Instead we see the Immortal's beloved, then a long interlude with Nong in the shower, during which she seems weirded out that there's a camera there. There's a lot going on in this movie. All of it capitalizing on a certain awkwardness.

Important details: the men used condoms, the katoeys spoke little English other than the word "come," everyone bathed afterward and, of the four ladyboys featured, 50 percent threw peace signs, 25 percent blew a kiss, and 25 percent looked like she was having a good time. But 100 percent really came.

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Who Gets To Be A Prostitute Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:47:38 EDT

Having never met a hooker with a heart of gold (and this is a singular tragedy), I still think prostitutes are swell. Morning, evening, at the Presbyterian barbecue for my Congressman - or anytime! But what conditions have to be met for a porn movie to advertise a prostitute rather than its standby whore, slut, or goo-goblin? I think it's a class thing. Your job this week is to emulate Dirtybacon and come up with something thoughtful: please give us your favorite prostitute story.

· Devil's Film (devilsfilm.com)
· See the real title (gamelink.com)

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Value-Added Knockoffs Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:10:44 EDT

Sometimes the porn version can only be better. It happened with "The Da Vinci Load" and, we will probably admit, "Pirates II". So it is reasonable to expect that a TV show that is already so popular with transsexuals—and which features an actual transgender contestant in its current cycle—would be as good if not better for the people who love transsexuals in a pornified offering.

As you know, all trannies like the top, so this title is redundant. But your job this week is to provide the ultimate porn ripoff of an existing title. Can you do it? Will you do it? This isn't just watercooler conversation, as last week's winner MalzyWheels knows: this is for realz.

• Goodfellas Productions (virtualtranny.com)

Fleshbot OMG: What Lies Beneath

Gram Ponante — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:00:21 EDT

I can't say whether or not this will be a regular feature, but out of the hundreds of porn titles I receive each week at Fleshbot West few if any inspire a vocal reaction. Fewer still require my showing this to te proprietors of every Korean travel agency along the hallway. You've probably already guessed (because you're brilliant) but I found myself understanding how Civil War General Ben Butler felt when he said that the look of things in the north did not prepare him for conditions in the south.

This DVD is in our possession and we promise to document all the wild goings on therein. We will figure out what the deal is with the dude on the right and see why ur covergirl looks eerily like Tera Patrick on the back cover.

· Cine X Latino (cinexlatino.com)
· Watch "Out Of Control Travestis 2" (adultemart.com)

Dancing With The Hermaphrodites: "Shemale Samba Mania"

Gram Ponante — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 10:40:05 EST

Like you, I am often enchanted by The Dance, taken far away by its intoxicating rhythms. So, apparently, are Brazilian transsexuals who, if you believe this title, suffer from samba mania.

I am just about ready to bet money that there is not a single frame of dancing in this title which, for some reason, presupposes by the inclusion of "100% bareback" that there is a market for trannies-wearing-condom movies. Fearing for her health, I am not sending this movie to Marie Osmond.

· Third World Media (thirdworlddvd.com)
· Buy "Shemale Samba Mania 31" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive