Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno

Studio: Adam and Eve
Director: David Lord
Cast: Kayden Kross, Heidi Mayne, Kiara Diane, Dani Jensen, Codi Carmichael, Tiffany Mynx, Rocco Reed, Chris Cannon, Jenner, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade

"Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" opens with a scene of (surprise!) Kayden and Rocco making a porno—or at least fucking on camera. But wait: this isn't a porn scene from the porno that Kayden and Rocco make. This is a scene from a different porno starring Kayden and Rocco, one which Kayden and Rocco are sitting at home watching. (Have we lost you yet?)

After watching herself with Rocco, Kayden bemoans the state of porn today: clearly, she could do a better job behind the camera than these bozos. And thus Kayden sets off on the same path as many a performer-turned-director before her. With Rocco at her side, Kayden makes a porno.

Along the way, we meet an interesting cast of characters. Heidi Mayne shows up at the audition so desperate to land a role that she blows Chris Cannon and Jenner in the waiting room (at the same time). Aspiring pornstar Evan Stone (pre-haircut!) loses his chance to get cast in the production, but lies his way into a job as the PA...and then lies his way into Tiffany Mynx, Kiara Diane, and Dani Jensen as well. Rocco engages in on-the-job intimacy with make up artist Codi Carmichael. And, in a last ditch effort to save her film, Kayden takes on both Barrett Blade and Tommy Gunn.

"Kayden and Rocco" is one of those rare pornos that manages to have just the right mix of plot and sex, without seeming gratuitous on either front. The story is entertaining, the acting is good; and at no point do we find ourselves asking why, precisely, these people are having sex with one another. They're having sex because they're making a porno (come on, it says it right on the front of the box!).

You'll have to watch the movie if you want to see how it all turns out—whether Kayden succeeds at her dream, or finds that being a director is harder than it looks—but when you do, you'll have an enjoyable time. Just, uh, don't take the movie as an instructional on how to make your own porno. Trust us on that one.

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Laurent's newest creation is "Sex on Set," starring Mikayla Mendez, Alektra Blue, Jennifer Dark, Sativa Rose, and Tiffany Tyler— along with Danny Mountain, Marco Banderas, Mick Blue, and Tommy Gunn. As you can see, he still has an eye for picking top notch talent.

As in the past, Laurent gives extreme attention to detail in this lush, high-end wall-to-wall, slaying us with both amazing girls and brilliant visuals.

Sativa Rose is one sexy ass bitch. With a single glance she seduces the camera, drawing us in. By the time she's stripped down and riding hard cock we're ready to blow our tops and so much more.

Alektra Blue also turns in a stand out performance. There is something she possesses, some undetermined quality beyond just her extraordinary physical beauty and unrelenting sexual prowess, that always leaves us wanting more. Watching her copulate is like drinking ambrosia mixed with unicorn blood from that pimped out golden chalice Indiana Jones chose in the Last Crusade.

This may just be the start of an amazing new era for Wicked. "Sex On Set" comes out next week from Wicked Pictures and Laurent Skye. Now check out our exclusive gallery courtesy of Heth and Co! Have a great weekend!

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Just as with a Nicolas Cage movie, what you're sold is never what you end up getting—and usually it's pretty sad and frustrating (no to mention pathetic). You wind up having to entertain yourself and just feeling bad half the time...all right, most of the time.

So when Robby D over at Digital Playground decided to make a movie about online dating, he knew right away that Jesse Jane was the perfect person to cast as the lead. Luckily she was available, and, after having her agent fax the script over to her one page at a time, she fell in love with the project. She knew within the first ten pages that this was going to be the script that she would be remembered for (along with that amazing guest appearance on Entourage where she threatened to butt fuck the comic geek harassing Vince—but the nerd totally loved it).

We're not going to be like other sites that give away the plot. In fact, we're not even going to tell you whether it's a comedy, sending up online dating, or all dramatic, like a Brad Armstrong movie. Anyone can tell you that, right? Instead we're going to tell you that Jesse fucks three guys in this movie: Mick Blue, Scott Nails, and Ben English—who has since retired (or so we are told).

The movie also features Shawna Lenee getting stuffed full of Tommy Gunn and Madelyn Marie having hot sex with pretty boy stud Danny Mountain. We're always happy to see sexy Shawna fuck since she's honestly one of our favorite performers and one of the hottest women to ever be in adult entertainment. We could watch her fuck all day long...in fact, we're pretty sure we have once. (That was an amazing day.)

"Jesse Jane Online" comes out on November 11th from Digital Playground. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground, so keep your hands on your tingling genitals and off of their images. Now, enjoy the work of one of the greatest masters of pornography starring the most beautiful women in the world. You are very welcome. Have a great weekend!

Jesse Jane and Mick Blue
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Shawna Lenee
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Jesse Jane and Scott Nails
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Madelyn Marie and Danny Mountain
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Sure, it's an interesting gimmick to set-up a cougar hunt, but really, it's completely unnecessary. All they ever needed to do was follow adult crossover superstar Lisa Ann to find out more. If anyone knows where to find cougars in their natural habitat, it's Lisa Ann. Instead, the teacher sends a film crew to meet a healthy sample of young hot man meat begging to be devoured by these animals.

Lisa Ann, Diamond Foxxx, Payton Leigh, Persia Pele, and Raquel Devine are hungry like she wolves, and they feel no remorse for their predatory actions. Each and every one of these sexy ladies is more than willing to stalk down a studly young pup and milk the creamy white goodness out of him. Some might say it's what they live for.

"Cougar 101" releases next week from Wicked Pictures, but you can see some of what these animals did right here and now with this exclusive set of pictures captured by our gal in the field.

Lisa Ann
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Payton Leigh
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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It's like having the hottest girlfriend in the whole wide world break up with you, out of the blue, for no good reason, right in front of your friends, while you were proposing to her, and walk out. You go through all the stages of grief; denial, grief, bargaining, standing outside her hotel room window with a boombox in a trench coat and dark shades (we don't recommend that last one, actually)—but it's like nothing seems to reach her anymore and you can't figure out where things went wrong.

And then, after you've locked yourself in the house, isolated, talked with your friends, gotten real drunk, downed pills in a sorta fake suicide attempt, played it off as a bad joke, then put the pieces back together and started getting out there again—she shows back up, over and over again, looking amazing all over again...the girl that you fell in love with in the first place.

Yes, having Stoya refuse to make new movies is a lot like an 80's movie directed by the late John Hughes starring John Cusack. We love him, too.

Words like "breathtaking" or "stunning" or even "exquisite" work fine on most drop dead gorgeous women—but for our Stoya, we'd say "perfect" is a far better term. That's why we breathlessly awaited this release ,"Stoya Perfect Picture"—and that's why watching her work with Mick Blue and the affable Danny Mountain was bittersweet. We laughed, we cried, our hearts (and genitals) lept for joy—and then we came, over and over and over again. Damn you, Stoya! Can't you see what you're doing to us?! Come on!

She's not alone though. Adding insult to injury, and insuring our therapist will hear from us soon again, Digital Playground threw in Kelly Summer taking on Scott's nail, Madison Ivy getting drilled by Tommy Gunn, and Cassia Riley, who is amazingly beautiful even if we were slightly distracted.

"Stoya Perfect Picture" releases next week from Digital Playground. We miss you Shiny, but we wish you the best. We also wish you would call more often or at least keep your Twitter updated so we can properly stalk you. It's much harder than you think, okay, and we put crazy work into it. You're harder to unveil than Pierce Inverarity's real purpose, a photo of Thomas Pynchon, or the truth about silent Tristero's Empire.

Now the rest of you, lovingly comb through the remains of beautiful Stoya's pornographic career, courtesy of Digital Playground.

Stoya
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Madison Ivy and Tommy Gunn
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Stoya
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Kelly Summer
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Kelly Summer and Scott Nails
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Kelly Summer and Scott Nails
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Kelly Summer and Scott Nails
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Bree Exposed

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Jenny Hendrix, Missy Stone, Charlie Laine, Danny Mountain, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue

Bree Olson only appears in two scenes! I know I'm being greedy, but I was hoping for more. Naturally, the quality of her scenes more than makes up for the quantity, as Bree is a powerful force in her respective segments with Anthony Rosano and Tommy Gunn.

Since Anthony has the first scene, you'd expect him to set the pace for the rest of the actors. While his unchained fucking certainly typifies the wild tone of the film, I wouldn't designate him the golden standard of "Bree Exposed." Mr. Rosano gets very, very sweaty. Like, just-got-caught-in-a-monsoon sweaty. Also, he finishes by jacking off on Bree's feet and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe that's a good thing?

The following four scenes are also wet and surprising, but in different ways. Mick Blue brings Missy Stone to squirt before embarking on a long anal engagement. Then there's a lesbian intermission with Ava Rose and Charlie Laine involving a rather ornate but uncomfortable-looking chair. Next, Bree seduces Tommy with an oh-so sensuous booty dance. Finally, Jenny Hendrix and Danny Mountain use the only bed in the movie for some very intense reverse cowgirl action.

As hot as all of the performers are, I felt the sound was the sexiest part of the movie. One moment you're listening to Bree describe the prodigious veins of Tommy's cock (prodigious, by the way), and the next, you're eavesdropping on the whispers between Jenny and Danny. It really says something when you can enjoy a porno with your eyes closed.

The only thing that soured my audio love affair was the ambient music. Before every scene you're treated to either an Enya techno remix or Gregorian chant-break beats. A minor concern, but it causes me to wonder what overall feel Andre Madness wanted to impart.

The straight story is this: there are five hot scenes that stand out strong against any environmental oddities that may exist. With every new scene, you can feel yourself getting excited, impatient, and just generally happy to see the performers. It's that Christmas-morning feeling that can't be faked, and it comes from the talent and enthusiasm of the actors.

And that's why I want to see more of Bree Olson: you can stare at her for hours and it won't damage your retinas.

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Cummin' At You 3D

Studio: Tommy Gunn Entertainment
Director: Tommy Gunn
Cast: Tommy Gunn, Sindee Jennings, Riley Evans, Tony DeSergio

Review by: Gram Ponante

Were this movie not 3D, it would still be an excellent interactive couples' title. The story is simple: Sindee Jennings wants to audition for producer Tommy Gunn's porn movie and, of course, she needs to be put through her paces. Along the way she is also tried out by Tony DeSergio and Riley Evans. (Almost) needless to say, she is rode hard and put away wet, as Ms. Jennings is a copious squirter.

But with 50 percent of the cast being Playgirl-friendly dudes, the interactive elements of "Cummin At You" leave plenty of room to see the guys from the females' point of view. To his credit, ladies, Tommy Gunn looks soulfully into your/Sindee Jennings's eyes as he eats you/Sindee Jennings out.

But what is truly revolutionary about this movie (which producers Gunn and Marcus London call a "preview of something even bigger") is that, either with the new breed of 3D-ready HDTVs or with the attached red/blue 3D glasses ("Or you can use the same glasses from the matinee of 'Up,'" Gunn said), you can experience the performers cumming—with whatever substance they have at their arousal—at you.

It's like "A Bug's Life 3D" at California Adventure except with the long-raging argument about whether female ejaculation is real or just urine.

I have had the opportunity ("pleasure" just isn't the most appropriate word) of Sindee Jennings squirting in my face in real life. But the virtual version is really cool. Not only that, but viewers get the illusion of the performers' ankles resting on their shoulders.

3D in mainstream movies is like parodies are to porn; some seem gimmicky and some exploit the genre in a suitable way. But 3D in porn just seems like the right way to go.

And it's worth mentioning that Gunn and company could have gotten this wrong in so many simple, porny ways, but they didn't.

"We knew we had to get Sindee," Gunn said.

Exactly. Because 3D is not about subtlety.

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Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Alektra Blue, Randy Spears, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Brad Armstrong, Jayden Jaymes, Kayla Carrera, Barrett Blade, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Alexis Texas, Rocco Reed, Tory Lane, Janet Mason, Mick Blue, Jerry, TJ Cummings, Bill Bailey

Review by: Gram Ponante

The screenwriter goes uncredited, but the story of "2040" has bits of everything from "Pinocchio" to "The Velveteen Rabbit" to "Blade Runner": Love something enough and it can become human.

We meet Ryan Spears (Randy Spears), who is a porn performer, just like his dad, the porn actor Randy Spears. Ryan's job is similar to his father's, but he must perform it clandestinely because of (as the voiceover tells us) the porn tax of 2015, the porn police, and because porn companies are now "corporate entities traded on the open market."

(Like in the original "Blade Runner," we can do without the voiceover.)

Not only that, but Spears must also fuck robots.

Spears and company deliver a lot of inside references and product placement to the benefit of the Real Doll company, Wicked Pictures, and AVN, whose 55th annual awards show is presented complete with bad band and fucking in the bathrooms.

The first scene, as carried off by Spears and the faulty robot Alexis Texas, is very funny and more than reminiscent of certain porn sets I've attended.

The Alexis Texas robot blows a fuse, you see, and the crew and Spears have to wrestle her to a squatting position so that Spears can aim a load into her R.O.C., or removable oral cavity. The sight of Texas kneeling there, mouth open, eyes glazed over, and bolt-ons perpendicular, is both chilling and familiar (Texas is acting, of course, like she just came off a Max Hardcore shoot).

With the Texas "doll" or "mecha" out of commission, the production enlists a robot that looks just like Alektra Blue. Her name is Mira.

But Spears is dismissive.

"She's a toaster," says Spears. "You fuck one mecha, you've fucked them all. And they all taste like toast."

But Mira is not your ordinary frakking Cylon. She sweats! Her skin reddens with whipping! And her vagina is adjustable!

Spears is amazed. Could he be falling for a toaster? And, since he is Mira's "first," she imprints his data in her "memory banks."

What follows is a lot of exposition, some corporate intrigue and skulduggery, sex for no reason (but we're happy it happened, don't get us wrong), the conspicuous absence of Stormy Daniels and, sprinkled throughout, some poignant moments in which Mira comes to terms with her blossoming personhood.

The problem with "2040" is that, in trying to be Wicked's epic for the year, a movie that would have worked better small became instead top-heavy. There were plotlines and actors who didn't need to be there, like a community theatre production in which everyone who auditioned got a part. At the heart of the bloat that is "2040" is a really good porn movie that no one believed in enough to let stand on its own.

That said, the people the movie is about, Spears and Blue, are fantastic. While he can ham it up with the best of today's porn dudes, Spears also has a gravitas that no one in the porn world can touch. And Alektra Blue does great work as a living doll; I wish she'd been allowed to do more. (If RealDoll.com has an Alektra Blue model, I bet it's awesome.)

"2040" has a happy ending and I bet you can guess what it is. There is an uplifting message for couples that almost sounds like Stay Monogamous. (The underlying message, though, is that Mira has the intellect of a child but a vagina like a 320-hp engine, therefore it's easy to stay monogamous...the outlook is dire for human women.)

People must be buying these feel-good, trying-too-hard slogs, because Wicked keeps making them.

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The result—"Sophia Santi in White"—stars Sophia Santi, along with Maya Hills, Kapri Styles, Samantha Ryan, Natalie Minx, Misti Love, Audrey Elson, Vanessa Monet and Kimberly Kole. Sophia winds her erotically charged journey through a maze of sexual self exploration with an upbeat attitude and her steely determination to cum harder than she has ever cum before.

After a convulsion inducing round of double clicking the mouse, Sophia turns to Samantha Ryan for assistance in an all anal pleasure session that kicks off a wild ride, whose lurid scenery includes torrid scenes of both Maya Hills and Kimberly Kole displaying the proper way to suck and get drilled by a couple of well endowed studs. Celeste even throws in an amazing all dark meat Sapphic scene of chocolate lust that is sure to have you drooling.

"Sophia Santi in White" sparkles like a fist-sized blood diamond greased up with Crisco, wrapped in tinfoil, left out on the beach, then blasted with industrial strength lasers. It releases on DVD and Blu-ray October 6th, 2009 but you can get a sneak peek of it right here and now. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground.

Try not to demolish your keyboards in the process. You'd be surprised how well using a little plastic wrap works. Just saying.

Sophia Santi, Aliana Love, Vanessa Monet, and Kapri Styles
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Kimberly Kole and Chris Charming
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Misti Love and Jerry
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Natalie Minx
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Maya Hills and Tommy Gunn
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Sophia Santi, Natalie Minx and Audrey Elson
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Audrey Elson
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Sophia Santi
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Sophia Santi and Samantha Ryan
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Sophia Santi, Aliana Love, Vanessa Monet and Kapri Styles
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Though all the girls featured in "Deviance" put forth excellent performances, it's very clear that Eva Angelina is the real star of the show (as well she should be). Appearing in four of the six scenes, Eva takes on Mr. Marcus (in all three holes!), joins Lexi Belle in a threeway with Tommy Gunn, gets doubled teamed (and DPed) by Ben English and Marco Banderas, and heads up an all-girl free for all with Teagan Presley, Sunny Leone, and Alexis Texas. We're exhausted just writing that up—we can't imagine what it must have been like for Eva to actually do it.

The two non-Eva scenes are also quite strong, with Kagney Linn Karter and James Deen enjoying each other in what appear to be the hallway of an abandoned warehouse and Shawna Lenee going after Mick Blue and Jerry (at the same time!). But really, we gotta say...its Eva who steals our heart.

Difficult as it was to wait for Eva during her months away from porn, "Deviance" is proof positive that the wait was worth it. And if this is Eva getting her feet wet, well...we can't wait for "Evalutionary."

Eva Angelina
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina and Mr. Marcus
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Shawna Lenee
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Shawna Lenee, Mick Blue, and Jerry
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Lexi Belle
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Lexi Belle, Eva Angelina, and Tommy Gunn
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Sunny Leone
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Alexis Texas
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Teagan Presley
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina and Teagan Presley
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Sunny Leone and Teagan Presley
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina, Alexis Texas, Teagan Presley, and Sunny Leone
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Alexis Texas, Teagan Presley, Eva Angelina, and Sunny Leone
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina, Ben English, and Marco Banderas
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Kagney Linn Karter
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Kagney Linn Karter and James Deen
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)
Eva Angelina, Alexis Texas, Sunny Leone, and Teagan Presley
"Deviance" (deviancexxx.com)

It really was Tommy Gunn's week: First he debuted his pretty awesome "Cummin at You" 3-D porn, in which he and Sindee Jennings literally COME RIGHT AT YOU, and then he trotted off to fuck Jada Fire in Dave Naz's upcoming "Cheating Hollywood Wives" for Private.

I love this picture of Jada Fire. She looks like the type of backup singer the star gets jealous of and kicks off the tour.

Next is Bree Olson in the upcoming "Bree's College Daze 3" for Adam & Eve. Like ZZ Top once did, Bree travels to various places - in the case of these movies, colleges - and makes things right. With her very Breeness.

Breeness rhymes with penis, and that is exactly what Mr. Marcus has up Sasha Grey in "Cheating Hollywood Wives." See how I worked that in there? See how Mr. Marcus did? One seems more fun than the other ...

It seems like the girls of Filmore Bush Academy have their hands full this year...full of hard cock! Yeah, we know, pretty cheesy stuff. With clear nods to our other favorite porn movie, "Mean Girls," mixed in with knee slapping bits performed by Tommy Gunn and Evan Stone, "Teachers" may seem at first glance to be just another porn movie. "Au contraire," shouts the lovely Katsuni's shaved pucker!

For it's not really the dialogue, acting, or story line that compel us to watch this masterpiece over and over again. They do their job, however, which is to adequately set the stage for what really lures us to run "Teachers" repetitively in our DVD players until our eyes bleed and out crotches throb with a dull, persistent ache—the unbelievable cast!

You see, when you factor in all the sexy action Digital Playground has packed into this movie, along with that unprecedented all star line up, then put legendary director Robby D behind the camera, what comes out isn't cheesy at all...nay, it's pure magic...like a unicorn having sex with a mermaid!

Digital contract stars (past and present) Jesse Jane, Stoya, Angelina Armani, Katsuni, and Riley Steele go crazy in a school bus orgy that is still simply blowing our minds. We didn't think anywhere East of Eden or South of Hades would ever have such lovely visions of erotic splendor laid out in plain sight to behold.

Joining them are all-stars Jenna Haze, Lisa Ann, Mason Moore, and Angelina Valentine, who, respectively, turn in some of the strongest performances of their dirty little lives. We can honestly say there is not a single down moment in this movie, not a single scene worth fast forwarding through, and that by itself is extraordinary.

"Teachers" comes out next week from Digital Playground and Robby D. Witness a sampling of its glory in the picture below. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground and cannot be used without their permission.

Stoya, Angelina Armani, Katsuni, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Evan Stone
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Stoya, Katsuni, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Mick Blue
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, Stoya, Angelina Armani, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Mick Blue
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, and James Deen
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, and James Deen
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, and James Deen
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Jesse Jane and Tommy Gunn
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Jesse Jane and Tommy Gunn
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Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, and Ben English
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Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, and Ben English
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Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, and Ben English
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Lisa Ann and Scott Nails
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Lisa Ann and Scott Nails
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Angelina Valentine, Mason Moore, and Erik Everhard
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Angelina Valentine, Mason Moore, and Erik Everhard
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Angelina Armani and Mick Blue
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Angelina Armani and Mick Blue
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Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Evan Stone
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Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Evan Stone
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Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Evan Stone
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It appears that legendary, award-winning director Jonathan Morgan is still alive and well and working over at Wicked Pictures (just as he has been for over a decade now). Despite his alarmingly reclusive nature in the last few years (which has earned him his latest nickname: the JD Salinger of porn), the quality of the work he produces has not been diminished. If anything, we'd say it has gone up. Now, instead of bells and whistles and rickety rackety, he's all substance and style—and we're very impressed!

With today's release of' "Tormented," we see a true master hard at work on his craft. Coupled with Stormy Daniels, the duet delves deep into the sinister side of seduction for an admittedly darker take on Wicked's generally insouciant and effervescing starlet.

"I have a really dark and perverted streak in me that no one knows about," Stormy would have said, undoubtedly, if her publicist could speak through her mouth to promote this movie. "I like to explore my fantasies of domination, submission and other sexually altered states, allowing reality to take a back seat to the perverted passions deep within my mind."

Okay, so maybe she didn't exactly say any of those things. Nor, for the record, did any of her lovely co-stars, Asa Akira, Priya Rai, Aiden Starr, Shawna Lenee, Sarah Vandella, and Tori Black. But that doesn't mean they don't really feel like that. You don't know. Mere process of deduction implies that there must be some dark fantasies lurking beneath their breathtaking exteriors that drive them to commit such intensely passionate acts and display the raw sexual hunger that they do. That's elementary.

"Tormented" comes out today from Wicked Pictures. Check out our cool gallery. Welcome back, Jonathan—and thank you!

Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Asa Akira and Tommy Gunn
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Asa Akira and Tommy Gunn
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Priya Rai, John West, and Marco Duato
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Priya Rai, John West, and Marco Duato
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Sarah Vandella, Shawna Lenee, and Anthony Rosano
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Sarah Vandella, Shawna Lenee, and Anthony Rosano
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Sarah Vandella, Shawna Lenee, and Anthony Rosano
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Stormy Daniels, Aiden Starr, and Mick Blue
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Stormy Daniels, Aiden Starr, and Mick Blue
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Stormy Daniels, Aiden Starr, and Mick Blue
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Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Tori Black and Marco Duato
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<img src="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/fleshbot/2009/09/torme
Buy%20"Tormented" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
nted115_01.jpg" width="1000" height="1490" />Tori Black and Marco Duato

The 8th Day

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ren Savant
Cast: Kayden Kross, Amber Rayne, Bree Olson, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland, Jandi Lin, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Krissy Leigh, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Tyler Knight, Trinity Post, Darryl Hanah, Ameatabh Bachan, Derrick Pierce

Review by: Gram Ponante

Samantha (the exquisitely nude Kayden Kross) wakes up from future sleep in a future chamber, a recorded message from her late father (director Ren Savant) playing on the future video screen.

"Possibly I died of natural causes," he is saying, Jor El-like, waxing on about the zero-point generator he invented that he is confident will have saved the world by now. "I am very envious of my little girl."

Envious or not, Dad, at least wait until she's got some clothes on.

Thus begins "The 8th Day," Adam & Eve's massive 4-disc (two for the feature, two for extras) epic of sex in a post-apocalyptic world, part "2001," part "The Road Warrior," part "Contact," and, what the hell, still weirded out by a father being creepy with his daughter, even posthumously, part "Blame It on Rio."

Of course, the world Sam wakes up to isn't quite fixed. In fact, it looks a lot like many greater Los Angeles communities south of the 10 freeway; places where bodies are meat, technology has betrayed Man, and where "In a lawless new world, sex is the only salvation."

"My God," Sam says. "What happened?"

Life happened, Sam. We follow her through the ruined, overgrown landscape. We evaluate Sam's choices as if she were making her way through Quake, and we're waiting for her MMPORGasm.

In fact, "The 8th Day" is unlike many contemporary movies in that it takes its time, and this is an unexpected pleasure. Well, perhaps not to fans of porn's pay-per-minute model, but whatever.

By the time Sam meets Mel (Amber Rayne), lots of information has slowly unfolded, much like Krissy Leigh's impressive labia in a desert shanty scene with Tyler Knight.

It turns out, Mel tells Sam in porn's first recorded ten-minute dialogue scene, that long ago all the electricity went out, the animals died, women had trouble reproducing, and mutants with different attributes emerged. Sam, for example, has sex with some slimy Morlocks. Then we watch a three-way between some blue, caterwauling Gila girls. I'd add "Good Times" here, but I'm not a douchebag.

Mel takes Sam to the Elysium Fields, a desert enclave ruled by the charismatic Amir, who preaches against technology and presides over tent orgies. We learn that Amir led the angry mob that killed Sam's father when the latter's science didn't turn out as expected. We learn, also, that Mel can take a double-penetration like a goddamn champ.

My only complaints about the movie are logical ones, which I admit don't hold up against the copious flesh on display, but here goes: It is not altogether clear why Sam's dad put her into deep sleep, unless he just did so to see his adult daughter naked. And Amir doesn't seem all that charming, despite the fawning.

But the risks "The 8th Day" takes are admirable for porn. There are stretches without either music or nudity and where the plot advances by scenery alone. The special effects are parceled out with maturity, there are references to Shakespeare and the Beatles, and the movie trusts you to allow it to end without a cumshot.

There is also more creepy stuff with Dad, crucifixion, peeing on asbestos, a "West Wing" cameo, Bree Olson's Blue period, the unsinkable Darryl Hanah, the always-dependable Trinity Post, a delightful performance by Amber Rayne, and the jaw-dropping Kayden Kross, who meets a bad end (but so does everybody).

"The 8th Day" is a great movie; how bad can the end of the world be if it's got Kayden Kross in it?

· Adam & Eve (adamandeve.com)
· And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston (gramponante.com)
· Buy "The 8th Day" (gamelink.com)

· Malice In Lalaland (maliceinlalaland.com, sound warning!)

Porn doesn't have anything like Hollywood's traditional pitch meetings, but we still like to imagine Director Ren Savant promising Adam & Eve's head honchos that he was going to make the best porn movie of the decade by mixing "Mad Max Thunderdome" with "Behind the Green Door' all while using action figures, a Kayden Barbie, several Tonka trucks, and a cat box to illustrate his point.

Any reservations the A&E brass had about making a big budget, non-spoof sci-fi porno were certainly placated by the knowledge that indefatigable blonde beauty Kayden "too pretty for porn" Kross would be cast in the lead.

The story opens with Kross being awakened from a cryogenic slumber to find herself in a strange city overrun by tribal gangs and overactive sexual half breeds, not entirely unlike Barstow or the backside of a meth lab way back in the hills of San Bernadino.

Kayden gets rescued by a scrappy scavenger girl, Amber Rayne and learns her only hope for salvation lies in the hands of the charismatic ruler of a desolate dessert village, known as Elysium Fields. But when Prince Amir takes Samantha under his wing, he discovers who she really is and decides that she must make the ultimate sacrifice.

Kayden Cross, Bree Olson, Tyler Knight, Tommy Gunn, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland
Derrick Pierce, Jandi Lin, Krissy Leigh, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Darryl Hanah, Evan Stone, Amber Rayne, Cheyne Collins, Sledge Hammer, Trinity Post, Chris Cannon, and Jerry keep spending all their lives fucking in a post apocalyptic burnt out ghetto paradise.

Will this be the greatest movie of the year? Can it topple the strangle hold "Operation Tropical Stormy" will no doubt have on industry come awards time? No one knows for sure. We can say, however, that it is an impressive effort replete with sexy girls, hot sex, orgies, and bucket loads of pure imagination, which (as we all know) Einstein even said was more important than having Stormy.

"The 8th Day" releases on 9/08/09 but you can get it now at Adam and Eve's website. For more info on the title, check out "The 8th Day"'s website. And in the meantime, check out our mega exclusive sneak preview gallery.

"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)

Harnessing some sort of NASA technology, Tommy's created a porn that's both choose-your-own-adventure and 3D—and even gives viewers the opportunity to experience the action from a lady's POV (though we're pretty sure that's not a first, we still find it exciting). The press materials we received included a flowchart outlining the many, many options the viewers are provided. Without giving away too much, here's a glimpse of what we're talking about:

And if you'd like a hint at what's going on in there, here's a small selection of that craziness:

So, uh, yeah. Highly customizable. In fact, we hear there are over 50,000 scenarios. God willing we should have the time to masturbate to them all.

But, of course, all that means approximately squat if the porn itself isn't hot. Alas, we have yet to get our hot little hands on a copy (the screeners are on their way to Fleshbot HQ though!), but we have seen some of the preview stills. And, we think they speak for themselves (though some of them are in 3D—so get out your special glasses!).

· Cummin' At You Interactive 3D! (cumminatyou.com)

Apparently, this is the first and only all male pornstar revue (which is a little sad, if you think about it). We're not sure why it took so long to get these men out on stage, shaking their tailfeathers...but for all the ladies who swoon over these boys' big muscles (the ones in their chests, you perv), this one's (finally) for you.

· The XXX-Men (thexxx-men.com)

Sasha as Malice, just the way we like her. (That's topless, for the uninitiated.)

"Malice in Lalaland" (misslucifer.tv)
Tommy Gunn and some sort of rabbit/gorilla hybrid. Is the White Rabbit on steroids?

"Malice in Lalaland" (misslucifer.tv)
Sasha and Keni "Cheshire Cat" Styles.

"Malice in Lalaland" (misslucifer.tv)
Apparently, the Cheshire Cat doubles as Hunter S. Thompson. We have no problem with that.

"Malice in Lalaland" (misslucifer.tv)

As the feature begins, we're introduced to Erica McLean, a hardworking, beleaguered pornographer who can't catch a break. Protesters harass her outside her office, proselytizing neighbors interrupt her masturbation time, and just as she's finally getting a chance to relax, she slips on some dog poop...and is magically whisked away to the "Hardcore Circus," "Wizard of Oz"-style.

Once inside the big top, the plot melts away (with all the hot sex going on, there wasn't any room for it). Short clips of sepia-toned circus action are interspersed with super hot freakshow sex (which we mean in the best possible way). Though all the performers put on a good show, we were especially won over by Audrey Hollander and Otto Bauer's lion taming act and Kimberly Kane and Evan Stone's, um, sex scene (we weren't totally sure what circus feat they were performing).

In what's easily the most intense scene in the film, Audrey and Otto pull out all the stops. Not only is the lion tamer/lioness act wellplayed, but we have to give extra points to Audrey for taking a whip handle in her pussy, a cock in her ass, and a riding crop slapping against her skin. (I want to go to there. No, seriously: I want to go to there.) Oh, and of course, double bonus points for Audrey then doing double anal with a cock and a whip handle. (I don't think I want to go to there, but I really, really like watching it.)

Kimberly and Evan likewise impress, with plenty of dirty talk, rough sex, and some wonderfully delicious anal sex. We always love Kimberly's intensity, and it only ramps up when she's engaged in anal action. (And if "Content" really is her best anal scene ever, we have a lot to look forward to.)

Rounding out the feature are Madison Scott and Lee Stone, Aiden Starr and Rob Rotten, Lavish Styles and Tommy Gunn, Kendra Banx and Starri Knight (the feature's sole lesbian couple, who also are the only ones to fuck out doors), Ron Jeremy and Lilly Lovely, and a very, very brief scene of Blue Iris and Tere Joyce having their way with a few men—including a dwarf.

Alas, even the hardcore circus can't stay in town for forever, and Erica McLean's eventually returned to reality, where she wakes up in bed surrounded by quite a few cast members ("...and you were there, and you were there, and you were there"). Luckily, we have the ability to return to the hardcore circus anytime we want—all we have to do is press play. We have a feeling we'll be making regular visits this summer.

· Buy "Hardcore Circus"

*****

Previously: Erica McLean's "Hardcore Circus" Is A True Masterpiece