Fleshbot: straight, teh future

Sure, some might think that this debate...

Jonnobot — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:20:28 EDT

Sure, some might think that this debate about having sex with a robot hooker is just a silly thing to laugh over while you're enjoying a pint or two—but as we've told you before, questions like this are going to be very serious ones in the future. So isn't it better you take the time to clarify your own position on the matter now? (asylum.com; thumbnail via Obscene Machines)

"A Series Of Controversial Dildonics": Think Globally, Fap Locally

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:45:48 EDT

San Francisco's annual Arse Elektronika events sees the sexiest of the geeky (or the geekiest of the sexy) trying to outnerd each other with fabulous sexual inventions that are impractical, implausible, and exactly what you want for Christmas. It's also a great way for tinkerers of this sort to experiment with new and wacky ideas. Like, say, a vibrator that's hooked up to the U.S. Geological Survey and only buzzes when there's an earthquake somewhere in the world: you just plug it in, turn it on, and ... wait for a completely unpredictable natural disaster! Only trouble is that when your own "Big One" finally arrives, it's tempered by the realization that a building might have collapsed somewhere with people trapped inside. Talk about a buzzkill.

If that's not depressing enough, try the dildo that puts you on a self-imposed sex strike based on the measurements of certain political and social facts. For example, if you set a "tolerance limit" of two Iraqi civilian deaths a day, then on any day where civilian deaths in Iraq exceed that number, the vibrator is locked out and you can't use it. No one dies and you're free to jack it! Awesome! Also creepy!

Obviously, these inventions are more Statements than useful masturbatory devices—it's probably better to imagine how a 8.5 quake would rock your hoo-hah instead of waiting for one. But the attempt to tie your daily orgasms to events affecting other people on Earth is a fascinating concept.

Both of these projects are being developed by a group called Cho-Yaba to compete for the "Golden Kleene" award at the next Arse Elektronika this fall. We're very interested in seeing the final results, even if given what we've seen so far their third as-yet-unveiled project—something called the "Perpetual Erection Machine"—is almost too spooky to contemplate. Even for us.

· a series of controversial dildonics (free.fr, via Slashdong)
· Controversial Dildonics (cho-yaba.com)
· Arse Elektronika 2008 (monochrom.at)

Ever wish you could control your computer...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:39:57 EDT

Ever wish you could control your computer with your peen? (Really, who hasn't?) Finally, someone's created a way to do just that: the Interactive Fleshlight, which our pal qDot at Slashdong reminds us "is an input /only/ device". And not only can you use your joystick as a, uh, joystick ... you can also play a crappy sex game with it! What will they think of next? (slashdong.org)

If you're still prodding yourself with a...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:27:07 EDT

If you're still ~~prodding yourself with a giant robo-licker~~ kicking yourself for missing San Francisco's Arse Elektronika conference last year, not to worry: there's a new call for papers for this year's installment. We hear the theme this year is "Do Androids Sleep With Electric Sheep?", though frankly we think the answer is fairly obvious. (monochrom.at, via slashdong.org; thumbnail via VSC)

We've scoffed at the idea that people might...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:48:38 EDT

We've scoffed at the idea that people might someday prefer sex with robots to sex with warm-blooded humans, but leave it to Gizmodo to find a guy who's already living that dream: Meet Zoltan, a "technosexual" who hooked an artificial intelligence program up to a sex doll and teledildonics device to create his own robot girlfriend ... that even broke up with him once. The future is now, people. (Gizmodo)

Gaze Into The Future With Fred Harper

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:07:20 EST

"You should write about Fred Harper," a friend told us. "His art has lots of naked body parts — large-penised gentlemen and bulging boobs galore!" Clearly, this is a friend who knows us well. As promised, Fred's paintings and drawings do feature more than a few large-penised gentlemen and bulging boobs (though not large penised gentlemen with bulging titties, mind you — we'll have to go elsewhere for that). It also features cyborgs, dismembered bodies, and plenty of other random meta-metaphysical and surrealist touches. It's like the erotic art of the past combined with the porn of the future. Oh, and did we mention there are lots of bulging boobs?

· Fred Harper (fharper.com)

We were crushed when we realized that the...

Fleshbot — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 12:06:34 EDT

We were crushed when we realized that the headline "Robot masseur in Japan gives facials" was attached to a story about a new Japanese robot facial stimulation device and not, you know, robots giving facials. We're still disappointed that we don't have our jetpacks yet; does Yahoo have to rub it in that other things we're looking forward to haven't been invented yet either? (news.yahoo.com - thanks Ben)

Sexy Technology @ Arse Elektronika

Fleshbot — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 12:55:20 EDT

Fleshbot femmebot Violet Blue managed to escape the evil clutches of an army of mechanical sex machines and the lure of an interactive "female orgasm simulator" called Moaning Lisa to collect some on-the-scene reports from the Arse Elektronika "pr0novation" conference at Kink.com in San Francisco this weekend. Of course, it would have been even more interesting had she not escaped their clutches and filed an even more salacious report or two, but we're holding out hope that she gets to know them even better next time. After all, events like this are all about looking forward to the future, right?

· "[video] daytime at kink.com and arse elektronika setup" and "in the arse elektronika fishbowl" (tinynibbles.com)
· Photo via Viviane's Sex Carnival

More after the jump.

- - -

· "Moanin' and Makin' Music at Arse Elektronika" and "'So who wants to f**k a robot?'" (wired.com; photos by Lane Hartwell)

· Arse Elektronika 2007 Photos (laughingsquid.com)

Porn And Tech @ Arse Elektronika 2007

Violet Blue — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:17:12 EDT

We've been scientifically studying the effects of porn and technological innovation for years now and have finally figured out that when you mouse-click with your left hand, it's called "The Stranger". But now some upstart horny geeks—along with a few futurists unafraid to tread the sticky floors of the internets—are having a conference to explore even more weighty matters on the subject of porn and technology: tickets are now on sale for Arse Elektronika 2007, which will take place at San Francisco's legendary Porn Palace on October 5-7.

The lineup of speakers and panels looks pretty exciting, and there's also a performance lineup starring Kink.com's Fucking Machines, an interactive female orgasm exhibit (their equivalent of booth babes, we guess), and something called "The Electric Orifice Orchestra" where "extravagantly dressed performers use live biofeedback from muscular interior walls of their bodies to create a multi-media interactive show". Our arses are already tingling with geeky porn-tech glee. (Or from our latest Marital Aid Test Kitchen mishap. It's hard to tell.)

· Arse Elektronika 2007: Porn and Tech Conference (tickets, info @ monochrom.at)
· Thumbnail: Kink.com's Fuckzilla in action