Fleshbot: straight, sports

The Bigger The Hoop, The Bigger The Hula

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:30:01 EDT

When you think about it, there's no real reason why this should be hot. But damn, it is hot.

There's a good deal of symbolism involved in hula hooping: The hoop, a perfect circle, represents life. It is only kept in motion by the constant hip-rocking of a bikini-clad goddess. Should she stop, the hoop would fall, ending life as we know it.

As a tribute, COED Magazine presents ten videos of different girls performing the sacred art. Hula on, lifekeepers. Hula on.

Photo via Hot Legs and Feet (ddfcash.com)

Fox Sports To World: "zOMG! Nikki Benz Is Hawt!"

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

In all fairness, if Nikki Benz showed up at our office, flitting around in a French maid outfit, we'd probably lose it, too.

Now, we may not know much about sports, but we do know good innuendo when we hear it. We're not saying that she's out there fighting the man, we're just happy to see a fuck-friendly face hanging in the mainstream section. Does Nikki's appearance in a Fox-run webisode signal major network acceptance of pornstars? No. But that's cool. And you know what? Nikki Benz is a pretty good actress.

· via HUSTLER WORLD (hustlerworld.com)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:45:00 EDT

You Mizushiro (yes-movies.com, via jheat.com)

The 100 Meter Dash...In Bodypaint

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Sports uniforms have always seemed a little unnecessary to us. Sure, the different colors help identify who's playing against whom, but all that fabric seems like it just gets in the way of the body's natural movement.

And now we've finally found someone who agrees with us. The geniuses over at Clint.be (the ones behind that dissolving bikini test) have set up an all girl 100 meter dash...and instead of uniforms, they've used body paint. BRILLIANT.

The trailer is below, if you like what you see, head over to Clint.be for the full version.

· 100 Meters Bodypaint (clint.be)

The Babes (And Butts) Of Beach Volleyball

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:30:01 EDT

For years we've been on the fence about beach volleyball: on the one hand, it happens on a beach, and the players wear bikinis and jump up and down. On the other hand...uh, we can't think of any negatives, actually.

And after browsing through this gallery of the "ass"ets of female volleyball players, well, you can consider us athletic supporters for life. (And if any of these ladies need "athletic support," we're totally here to provide.)

· Thank You Shaq For Volleyball Butts (coedmagazine.com)

Lucy Pinder Knows It's Not Soccer, It's Football.

auryn — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Like any true Brit, Lucy Pinder will tell you she's modeling (by which we mean "barely wearing") football, not soccer jerseys.

Nuts Magazine brings us superbabe Lucy Pinder's delectable breasts and her take on how the English Premier League's season is going to go as she takes off each one of the team's jerseys. We don't really know a terrific amount about sports, so we can't dispute any of her opinions on soccer. We're just going to do what any American would do: smile, nod and stare at her tits.

Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)

LA's Next Top Cheerleader: A Peek Inside The Laker Girl Auditions

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 10:30:00 EDT

The Laker Girl auditions are pretty much what you'd expect: the girls are bubbly, beautiful, and wearing about as much clothing as your average Laker Girl. And in some cases, even less.

· Laker Girl Auditions 2009 (laist.com)

Football Parody Porn Set To Change The Way You View John Madden

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:30:01 EDT

And now for something completely bizarre: X-Play has just announced the upcoming release of "Not Monday Night Football XXX." Well, with all those tight ends going deep, it was bound to happen eventually.

What's the vision for this soon-to-be-released porn epic, you ask? Director Will Ryder (of course) puts it this way: "We're combining the best of the Barely Legal girls with football and hilarious legendary TV announcers all in one classic sex comedy that will appeal to fans everywhere." Also some sort of rip in space-time allows announcers from multiple eras to join together in porny, footbally goodness. And who says porn is out of ideas?

· X-Play (allmediaplay.com)

Kelly Andrews And Madison Welch Do Wimbeldon

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:30:01 EDT

We've been trying to pay attention to the action over at Wimbledon, we swear...but somehow, we just keep finding ourselves distracted by the ball girls. There's just something about them that's got our attention...

Wait, what's that? Kelly and Madison aren't actually Wimbledon ball girls? That's okay, really—we have a feeling they're more interesting than the actual Wimbledon, anyway.

· Kelly & Madison Do Topless Tennis! (zootday.com)

So That's Why Croquet Is So Popular

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:45:00 EDT

The Parker Sisters (alscash.com, via indienudes.com)

Live From Lingerie Football Training Camp!

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:30:01 EDT

The Lingerie Bowl may have been cancelled due to some unrepentant nudists—but fear not, the Lingerie Football League is alive and well, and gunning up for the start of their season this September.

In fact, the members LA Temptation are at LFL training camp right now—and TMZ has been kind enough to set up a live broadcast of all the training action. When we checked in, we mostly saw a blurry video of some trees, but we bet if you watch long enough, you'll get to see some actual, factual girls in lingerie... playing football!

· Live-Lingerie Football (tmz.com)
· Lingerie Football League (lflus.com)

Topless Girl Makes Cricket Game Vastly More Interesting

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 10:30:00 EDT

If we were to rank all the sports in the world in order of sexiness, we'd probably place cricket way, way down at the bottom (Ultimate Surrender-style wrestling would be at the top).

Unless, of course, a game of cricket happened to involve some toplessness—like this match, in which a very excited fan flashed everyone her boobs. Granted, that's more about the fans than the game itself... but what is a sport without its fans?

· Cricket just got sexier (withleather.uproxx.com)

BracketologyXD: When Your Bracketology Needs A Little Something "X"tra

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:30:01 EDT

If, like us, you're a fan of Penthouse Pets, and—unlike us—also a fan of sports (and this "March Madness" thing), then check out BracketologyXD, which combines sports voodoo with boobs. Win! (bracketologyxd.com, thumbnail)

This Week In Failed Upskirts: The (Fake) Ballroom Dancing Pussy Exposure

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 12:30:01 EST

We regret to inform you that the rest of the world still doesn't know what a vagina looks like. First there was Juliana Margulies's "vagina", and now we have this ballroom dancing "crotch slip."

We've never really agreed with those people who claim that Barbie has ruined America... until now. Clearly, only someone who actually believes that women resemble America's favorite doll down there would genuinely believe that this is a picture of a woman's vagina. The rest of us can just sigh, shake our heads, and comment on what a nice pantyhose shot that is.

· Ballroom Dancing, Now With 90% More Crotch Exposure (deadspin.com)

Hockey And Sex: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 12:30:01 EST

You don't have to tell us twice that hockey is sexy: even if we don't know know the precise location of that "five hole" thing, we know exactly what we'd like to use it for.

Sadly, we have a sneaking suspicion we won't be seeing too much hardcore five hole action in in One Yellow Rabbit's stage performance of "Five Hole: Tales of Hockey Erotica"—but a girl can dream, right?

· Five Hole: Tales Of Hockey Erotica (oyr.org, via Deadspin)
· Hockey heartbreaker Ariel Rebel (freehostedpics.com)

Porn Invades The Super Bowl

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 08:15:00 EST

We spent most of the Super Bowl crossing our fingers that we'd get to see some sexy ads (we didn't). If only we'd been in Tucson—we could have seen some honest-to-goodness porn!

Or at least pornstar penis, in any case. During the final few minutes of the game, Comcast subscribers had their broadcast interrupted by none other than Evan Stone. Check the video above to relive the magic—and hey, can anyone identify what porn the clip is from?

UPDATE: The clip is reportedly from Club Jenna's "18 'n' Up Wet Poons." And check out what Evan had to say about his 30 seconds of football stardom.

UPDATE 2: Check out Evan Stone's last brush with mainstream stardom on South Park. And, our good friend Violet Blue reports that the clip was originally from "Wild Cherries 4 5," which Club Jenna then repackaged.

UPDATE 3: Evan's partner in crime has been identified as the lovely Tristan Kingsley. Learn more about her here.

· Comcast Super Bowl Porn (comcastsuperbowlporn.com)

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Erectile Wardrobe Malfunction Edition

Gram Ponante — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 14:13:33 EST

In this weekend's glut of conspicuously consumptive footballery, remember the simple furtive pleasures of grabbing glimpses of panties beneath those Cardinals snowbird muumuus or Steelers blast furnace aprons.

Dear Readers, it is true that I couldn't care less who wins this weekend, but what I do care about, like getting a handjob from Tinkerbell, is if my neighbor's wayward and frank sister in-law will be at the SuperBowl party. Why? Because last year she wore no panties. The choice between Cardinals and Steelers and Ranch and Onion Dip pales in comparison to that of Angie in the Basement v. A Punch in the Face.

So the appearance of this week's movie is not arbitrary at all. What do you do about the pantieless SuperBowl guest?

· DVSX Pictures (dvsx.com)
· Buy "Panty Peek Freaks" (gamelink.com)

Girls, Scantily Clad, Exercising. Nuff Said.

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:30:01 EST

Consider this your moment of zen: four fantastic videos of scantily clad girls exercising. Like you had something better to watch this evening?

Lingerie Bowl VI... Cancelled?

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:30:01 EST

It can't be! The most hotly anticipated lingerie sports event of the year—the Lingerie Bowl, of course—has been cancelled. Pay no attention to the website's countdown: there will be no lingerie football extravaganza this year.

What could possibly have caused such a catastrophe? Well, this year you can place the blame squarely on the nudists. In what was supposed to be a sexy act of synergy, the Lingerie Bowl was scheduled to be held at Tampa's Caliente Spa & Resort, a luxurious clothing-optional getaway. And—in a totally unforeseen act of drama—there was some conflict between the lingerie-clad and the clothing-optional. Lingerie Bowl officials wanted to keep several areas of the resort (including the nightclub) clothing-mandatory, the powers that be at Caliente felt that that much clothing infringed upon their guests' rights (and enjoyment of nudity).

So this year, when you're stuck watching the Puppy Bowl, just remember: you can blame it all on boobs.

· Caliente Too Nude For Lingerie Bowl; Event Cancelled (suncoastpasco.tbo.com)

Sexy Athlete Survives Erotic Wardrobe Malfunction

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 10:30:00 EST

Sure, ice dancing seems like it's all just glitter and glitz and sailing around on the ice, but it's actually a dangerous sport filled with many hidden perils: broken blades, spilled sequins, wardrobe malfunctions...

Russian ice dancer Ekaterina Rubleva suffered through that last tragedy during the Ice Dancing Compulsory Dance at the European Figure Skating Championships in Helsinki, losing her top during her routine. We know it all seems hopeless now, Ekaterina, but just remember: many other athletes have survived worse and gone on to great success—we know you will too!

· Skater boobs on ice (stuff.co.nz)