Fleshbot: straight, spoofs

Learn The Feminine Mystique From "Not The Brady Bunch XXX: Pussy Power"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:00:00 EST

Sure, this episode was good, but Will Ryder should probably move on before Cousin Oliver shows up.

Not The Bradys XXX: Pussy Power

Studio: LFP Distribution/X-Play
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Lexi Belle, Dylan Riley, Kacey Jordan, Alana Evans, Lynn Lemay, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, Tanner Mayes, Mike Horner, Kris Slater, James Deen, Mikey Butders, Ron Jeremy, Eric John, Seth Gamble, Dane Cross

On this episode of "Not The Bradys," young Jan (now played by Dylan Riley) feels neglected by her family, teachers, and—most of all—the boys at her school. Little does Jan know that all she needs to get a little attention (or tickets to a concert, or good grades) is some Pussy Power. And with that skirting-the-edges-of-sexist comment, let the film begin!

Lucky for Jan, bad girl Tanner Mayes shows up at the Brady Compound and wildly masturbates in Jan's bed, which somehow introduces her to the world of mature decisions and sexual favors. Jan realizes that the key to Marcia's success has always been blowjobs, and so her only hope of "being good at something" lies in emulating her big sister.

Meanwhile, everyone else is having sex, looking good in their ‘70s garb, maintaining erections and wholesome imagery, etc. Lexi Belle is the new Marcia, and she fits the role just fine. Her secret romp with the high school quarterback is not only inspirational to the viewer, but to Jan and Cindy as well.

On the male side of things, all is well. James Deen is still adorable as Peter. He somehow manages to look goofy and enthusiastic in the middle of his scene with Tanner, just like good ol' Christopher Knight. Mikey Butders embodies the coy Bobby Brady just as well. His threesome with Ashlyn Rae and Nicole Ray is one of the finest in Brady family history. Except maybe for that one time Alice stumbled into Mr. and Mrs. B's bedroom.

But hey, gang! There are some things more disappointing than Jan's violin playing (insert laugh track here). They still haven't delivered on that real, slow Sam the Butcher/Alice loving, although the characters talk about it non-stop. However, there is a simulated sex scene in which Alice ducks behind the kitchen island and Ron Jeremy pretends to be fellated most comically. Like most of the humor in Will Ryder parodies, this goes until it becomes awkward, keeps going, and then arbitrarily stops.

All in all, it feels like another Will Ryder movie: the sex is very good, the comedy is very bad, and everyone can feel ok about the lack of Brady-on-Brady boinking. The whole Pussy Power thing is something to think about. We always wondered how Carol convinced a man to take her and her three daughters in; "much more than a hunch" indeed.

New Sensations Makes Porn Spoof Of "The Office," Time Space Continuum Collapses

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:00:01 EST

Those porno parodies seemed awesome when we were all laughterbating our way through sexed up versions of campy classics from childhood, right? Well, how do you feel about a porn spoof of "The Office"?

We'll tell you how we feel: awful. It's too soon, people! Too soon. How are we supposed to stay engaged in new episodes from the real "Office" while visions of Ashlynn Brooke and Alexis Texas getting pounded by James Deen waft through our heads? Porn spoofs are supposed to lovingly remind us of our favorite TV moments from childhood, while simultaneously eliciting orgasmic release. They're not supposed to sex up our current favorite shows and confuse the living daylights out of us!

We're officially boycotting this as-of-yet-unnamed porn "Office." Well, unless Ashlynn Brooke and Alexis Texas get naked in it.
· On the Set: New Sensations Parodies 'The Office' (avn.com)

"Twilight" Movie Inspires "Twilight" Porn

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:30:10 EST

Romantic vampire film "Twilight" has been out less than three weeks, and already its inspired a porn spoof. Brought to you by the people behind the non-Hustler Sarah Palin porno, "Twilight of Virginity" proves that vampires can still be sexy even when Anna Paquin's breasts aren't involved. (xesenta.com)

Sneak Peek: "Bree's Big Screw Review"

DCypher — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:00:00 EST

While the rest of the industry has gone parody silly, knocking off everything from our childhood sitcom viewing so far except "Three's Company" [Ed. Nope, they did that one too!], DCypher (that's me) thought it would be funny to spoof spoofs, with a porn poking fun of "At The Movies." You have to admit that Adam & Eve contract darling Bree Olson and redophile heartthrob Faye Reagan are much sexier to watch than Ebert & Roeper, right?

Referencing puerile classics like "Raging Balls," "The Wizard of Cunt," "Live Free & Fuck Hard," "Fucks With Wolves," "Diddler on the Roof," "One Fucked Over the Cuckold's Nest," "Midnight Cowgirl," "Schindler's Fist," and the Japanese tentacle porn themed musical "The Sound of Hard Fucking," the girls eventually review spoof scenes crafted around such pornified titles as "Hairy Pussy & the Sorcerer's Bone," "E.T.: The Extra Testicle," "Spiderpussy," and "A Cock In Lips Now" before turning on each other in a juicy display of sapphic authenticity assured to curl toes and melt your new high definition screen.

What kind of antics does the movie include? Well, for starters, Bree's especially entertaining as a military assassin sent to the jungles of Southeast Asia to liquidate Col. Dick Hurtz, played convincingly enough by the muscle bound stud Tommy Gunn. In the process of trying to fuck each other within an inch of their beautiful lives, they nearly demolish the set (accidents will happen!). Madison Scott plays a particularly emotionally unbalanced super heroine in "Spiderpussy," unleashing a hauntingly ferocious sexual performance on Evan Stone. Fleshbot Crush Object Shawna Lenee beefs up her international relations credentials (pun well intended) with Latin born Marco, and manages to tackle thorny national security issues at the same time—with her tiny, wet, pink butterfly! (Lou Dobbs would be impressed!) And last but not least, Dane Cross apes a popular bespectacled young wizard whose brainy gal pal turns out to be a pussy hair's breadth shy of a full blown sex addict behind closed doors. Baby faced newcummer Jewel Styles plays Horny Whoremoine, ever inventing new perils for her beau to conquer in the quest for harder kink.

"Bree's Big Screw Review" is set to release through Adam & Eve in 2009, but you can sneak a peek with us right now by checking out these behind the scenes photos we snapped just for you. Keep your fingers crossed for another episode!

The Porn Parody Machine Marches On

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:30:10 EST

Fueled by the success of such films as "Not The Bradys XXX" (one and two!), "Not Bewitched XXX," "This Ain't The Munsters XXX," and all the rest of of them, the porn parody machine continues to march on. In addition to the recently announced "Dirty Facts of Life" and "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX," we'll also be seeing "Not Married With Children XXX" and "Not The Cosby Show XXX," which at least has the redeeming factor of giving work to black porn actors who aren't Jada Fire and Mr. Marcus.

"Entertainment Tonight" Continues To Probe The World Of Porn

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:00:00 EST

Last night on "Porntertainment Tonight"—er, sorry, "Entertainment Tonight"—the team took a look, hard look at "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX." Porn spoofs! So cutting edge! Frankly, we're torn between wanting to mock ET for its recent infatuation with porn... and kinda being excited that a mainstream TV show is spending so much time talking about porn. Think they'll have us on as a guest expert?

"Entertainment Tonight" Discovers Porn Spoofs

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:30:00 EST

Did "Entertainment Tonight" just recently discover porn or something? Last week they profiled Lisa Ann and her starmaking turn in "Who's Nailin' Paylin?", this week they're on to the girls of "The Dirty Facts of Life." We're all for seeing pornstars get prime time attention—but what's with ET's newfound love of porn? Clip above.

"Get Smartass" Brings Back The Boob Tube (At Least) Once More

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:20:15 EDT

As we've noted before, no one finds a good gimmick and drives it until the wheels rust off quite like certain folks in the porn industry. The flavor of the last year or so is obviously the classic TV sitcom spoof, which finds at least two more incarnations coming your way: Ryder Skye and Penny Flame will soon attempt to settle mankind's most enduring mystery (Ginger or Mary Ann?) in "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX," which starts shooting this week—but not before Hustler wraps up "Get Smartass," wherein our brave hero Maxwell Smartass and his busty, er ... trusty sidekick Agent 69 (of course) do battle with the forces of evil. Too bad the latter production wasn't ready in time to beat mainstream Hollywood's "Get Smart" remake to the punch. Maybe when it comes to combing back issues of TV Guide for script ideas, the Porn Valley gang still has a long way to go. (Watch the "Get Smartass" trailer after the jump.)

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· Hustler Wraps 'Get Smartass,' Rolls 'Gilligan' Parody (avn.com)

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Previously: Top Ten TV Sitcom Porn Spoofs We'd Like To See

It's so obvious that we can't believe we...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:20:00 EDT

It's so obvious that we can't believe we didn't include it in our list of potential TV show porn spoofs—but it doesn't matter anyway because "The Partridge Family" is already taken as a porn movie concept. Don't worry, though—every television show that has ever aired will eventually get the XXX treatment, so your favorite will show up sooner or later. (Though we still have dibs on "Porkin' Mindy".) (avn.com)

Top Ten TV Sitcom Porn Spoofs We'd Like To See

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

According to its own press releases, X-Play's recent "Brady Bunch" porn parody "Not The Bradys XXX" is pretty much the most successful porn idea of all time. It's already spawned its own sequel—"Not Bewitched XXX" which comes out in September—and there's even been talk of knockoffs of "The Munsters" and (heaven, forbid) "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood." Also, even though "Bewitched" has yet to hit shelves, the word has just come down that X-Play now has two more spinoffs in the works—XXX versions of "The Love Boat" and "Three's Company." Both rather inspired choices, if you ask us, since to our impressionable young eyes those shows practically were porn anyway.

However, if making hardcore versions of classic TV sitcoms is going to be the hottest new genre in adult entertainment, then we want in on the action. We picked out the ten greatest shows from days gone by that we would like to see turned into a XXX feature. We've even provided a brief description of how we think it could go down, and we're giving you, the reader, a chance to vote on the one you'd like to see made first. If any producers out there want to run with these ideas, feel free to contact our agent to discuss our script supervisor fees.

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· X-Play Announces 'Three's Company,' 'Love Boat' Parodies (avn.com)
· 'Route 66' TV Show Owner Suing Penthouse Over 'Route 66' Video (xbiz.com)

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Previously: DVD Review: "Not The Bradys XXX", Preview: Teagan Presley In "Not Bewitched XXX"