Lingerie maker Myla has the answer: their Christmas shopping website offers you a choice of three very eager (and very scantily clad) personal shoppers, each of whom guides you through the selection process with a handful of questions...and then happily models your final selection, to give you an idea of what it'll look like in person.

If only we could get service like this in the store...we'd never shop anywhere else.

· A Present from Myla (apresentfrommyla.com)

· Maison Close (maison-close.com)

. . .

· "Pads" (YouTube, via notcot.org)
· Rubber55 (rubber55.co.uk)

It's also digitally connected, can call up and eject your favorite discs at the push of a button, and can even password protect the discs you don't want prying eyes to see. (What it doesn't do, sadly, it play any of these DVDs on your TV. Nobody's perfect.) If you find that you need this level of space-saving security, then this gadget could be the answer. Also: bless your dirty little heart

· Disc Manager 100 (discmakers.com)
· See also: DVD Disc Manager 100 Keeps Your Adult DVDs Safe (Gizmodo)

There's a lot to love about the Odyssey Tickler. It's cute, quiet, and relatively cheap, and, for a vibe that runs on two AAA batteries, it has a pretty powerful motor. There's also the matter of the Tickler's... ticklers. As a fan of the Nubby G's nubs, I was really excited for some tickling action - and, happily, the Odyssey Tickler delivered as promised. Depending on your anatomy, you may have to wiggle the vibe around a bit to unlock the magic of the tickling. But hey, with a toy like this, the journey is half the fun.

But despite its charms, there was one problem I just couldn't ignore. Unlike its more complicated cousins, the Odyssey Tickler has just one button. If the vibe is off, pressing the button turns it on. If the vibe is on, pressing the button increases the vibration speed - unless you're at the third (and highest) vibration speed, in which case pressing the button shuts the vibe off. Which, in the heat of the moment, can really suck. Imagine grooving along to some really great fantasy, only to accidentally or absentmindedly press that button and shut everything down.

Yeah, it's kind of a buzzkill. Much as I enjoyed the Tickler, I think I'll be sticking with the Nubby G from here on out.

· Buy the Babeland Odyssey Tickler (babeland.com)

· "25 sexy times at home" (cribcandy.com - thanks Sturtle)

Manufactured by Nob Essence (the same company that brought us the Fling), the Flip is a beautifully handcrafted curved wooden toy, carved into a set of graduated beads.

So how does the Flip shape up? Quite nicely, actually. The beads start small and work their way up, allowing the user to control the intensity of the stimulation. New to butt play? Stick to the shallow waters. Anal expert? Take the plunge, and bury the Flip to the hilt!

In addition to its pleasurably beaded body, the Flip features a curved form for prostate stimulation. Sadly, as a prostate-free female, I can't offer too much comment on this feature. Though I'm sure it would feel quite wonderful if I had a prostate to stimulate, I actually found that I preferred rotating the toy so that the hook of the curve faced towards my back. Maybe it's a girl thing.

Lovely though the Flip is, it's not the best toy for those who like to leave a butt toy in for an all day (or at least several hour) treat. For one thing, the beaded shape makes the toy hard to grip and keep in. For another, the large rounded handle, though quite convenient when maneuvering the toy, leads to a limited range of motion. To put it bluntly: it's kinda hard to sit down when there's a large wooden ring sticking out of your ass.

Like the Fling, the Flip is coated in Lubrosity, a fancy coating that makes it chemical/bacteria-resistant, waterproof, and hypoallergenic—and it's phthalate-free. Didn't quite catch that? The important thing to remember is that it's easy to clean, won't get ruined by water (or your butt), and is compatible with all lubes.

A note for the adventurous girls out there: It is possible, if a bit tricky, to use the Flip and its sister dildo, the Fling, for some double penetration action. You know, if you're into that sort of thing. Don't say I never taught you nothing.

· Buy the The Flip (babeland.com)
· Nob Essence (nobessence.com)

But then I learned about phthalates, and suddenly the Nubby G's jelly rubber skin seemed far less inviting. Sure, I could always be safe and put a condom on it - but somehow, it just wasn't the same. I abandoned the Nubby G and went in search of other toys, hoping that I'd find one that could compare - and wouldn't raise my risk of a nasty disease.

A few weeks ago, my prayers were answered: Babeland announced their new line of toys, and I was pleased to see a new, thermoplastic rubber Nubby G listed among their offerings. But my excitement quickly turned to doubt: could this really be as good as the classic Nubby G? Would it live up to my memories? Would it make me come as hard and as frequently and as well?

In a word, yes. The Babeland Nubby G lives up to its promises: once I got my hands (and other parts) on it, I couldn't put it down. The Nubby G's magical abilities were every bit as stimulating as I remembered: my G was rubbed, my clit was nubbed, and my legs were quickly shaking in ecstasy.

I'm older, wiser, and a bit more experienced than I was when I discovered the original Nubby G, so its shortcomings are more apparent to me now: as a battery-powered toy, it doesn't rock as hard (or as long) as some of the rechargeable toys I've become acquainted with - and yes, it is aggravating when the batteries die in the middle of a particularly hot jack off sesh. But given its many other charms (and bargain basement price!), I'm willing to overlook that. The Nubby G will always have a place in my heart ... and one right by my ladyparts, too.

[We originally reported this toy as being made of silicone. It is actually made of thermoplastic rubber. Our apologies for the mistake.]

· Buy the Babeland Nubby G (babeland.com)

· Top 67 Naughty Ads - Sex Sells (trendhunter.com, via shakewellbeforeuse.com)

There were four parts to my kit: a Babeland massage candle (to get things warmed up nice and naturally), a bottle of Emerita OH Warming Lubricant (to keep the heat going), Mamba condoms (to keep you from getting, uh ... you know), and, best of all, a Laya Spot vibrator (for when you need a little extra kick). All products in the kit (with the obvious exception of the Laya Spot) are all-natural, with no animal testing or animal-derived ingredients.

I started off my evening with the massage candle, lighting it with the Babeland-branded matches that came with the kit. (A nice touch, I must say.) As the scented soy wax heats up and melts, it transforms into a warm massage oil. Though the oil felt nice at first, it quickly became sticky, leaving a less than sexy residue on my skin.

Next I checked out the lube. As a girl with a bit of experience in the fine arts of handjobbery and butt fuckery, I consider myself something of a lube snob: too often, artificial lubes are too thin, dry out too fast, or just taste really bad (an important consideration if you happen to switch to some oral action after you've lubed up your partner's privates). Surprisingly, Emerita was none of these things. It had a pleasing thickness, lasted quite a while, and tasted pretty good (at least by lube standards). Though I was hesitant about the advertised warming action—apparently generated by cinnamon bark—it turned out to be surprisingly pleasant, if a bit shortlived. During sex, the warming action fizzled out pretty quickly; though it was certainly nice while it lasted. [Note: Though my Eco-Sexy kit came with the OH lube, Babeland's website advertises the kit as coming with Emerita Natural Lubricant, so you might end up with a slightly different configuration.]

As for the Mamba condoms, it's nice to know that the non-profit that produces them is "15 times more stringent" about their testing than any other condom company in the world, they were, well, condoms. The latex was non-irritating, they didn't break, and really, that's all there is to say about them.

Finally, the clear crown jewel of the kit: the Laya Spot vibe. Small yet sensuous, the Laya Spot conforms to your curves while fitting into the palm of your hand. The easily accessible controls, which fall right under your fingers when your hand rests on the vibe, allow you to guide your body through six levels of vibration, as well as three distinct pulse patterns. For something so small, the Laya Spot rocks quite hard—I had no idea two AAA batteries could produce so much power.

A note to the phthalatephobic: the Laya Spot is made of elastomer, a soft, hypoallergenic material that's phthalate-free, and an excellent alternative to jelly rubber. However, it's important to remember that elastomer is slightly porous and cannot be disinfected so, nice as this toy is, it shouldn't be shared with any friends (no matter what they told you in kindergarten about sharing.) The Laya Spot is waterproof and can be cleaned with soap and water.

Overall, I was pleased with the kit. The products are high quality and complement each other nicely. Whether you're looking to spice up your next Earth Day or just make your love life a bit more organic, the Eco-Sexy kit is a great way to green your bedroom.

· Buy the Eco-Sexy Kit (babeland.com)