Perhaps having a calendar in PDF form isn't really convenient, since you have to then print out the individual pages—on high quality printing paper, no less—and tack them to your wall. And it'd be silly to just leave it on your computer: they also serve as calendars. Maybe we should put it this way: here's a free PDF of Black Angelika, Aletta Ocean, Angel Dark, Sasha Grey, Tori Black, and other glamorous females alongside the various months of the year.

· Private Offers 2010 Calendar for Download (business.avn.com)
· Download the free calendar at Private a fucking christmas dinner! (private.com)

Not that we're surprised to learn she has one, mind you. We've seen how she runs her business—we know that girl knows how to take charge.

· Watch "Rough Sex" right now! (hotmovies.com)
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*****

Previously: Tristan Taormino's "Rough Sex" Gets Us All Choked Up

Sometimes it's not about the sex, it's about control. In this Sasha Grey directed film, it's about the control and the sex, as well as about sharing your favorite fuck toy with someone you love. Isn't that the true meaning of Christmas? Maybe Hanukkah? Kwanzaa? Happy New Year, Faye Reagan family.

· Buy "The Perversion" (gamelink.com)

Above, a selection from the song—to hear the whole thing, check out the band's MySpace page.

· Frantic Clam (myspace.com, via American Apparel)

AIM is Adult Industry Medical, the porn industry's embattled and cash-strapped one-stop for mandatory STD testing. How does the clinic that holds the monopoly on STD testing for the porn industry find itself needing a benefit? Well, it might have something to do with legal bills arising from increasing challenges by L.A. County and City health agencies demanding the porn biz change its condom and testing policies.

Whatever the cause for the low funds is, Kimberly Kane and Belladonna are addressing - in spectacular fashion - the real fear that, should AIM go away, the porn industry will lose its friendly clinic where everyone is respectfully referred to by one's porn name and where one is shielded from the indignity of explaining what ATOGM is in front of a room of screaming babies.

The benefit at L.A.'s awesome Busby's East (formerly the Conga Room) features the aforementioned date to end all dates raffle as well as appearances by several Wicked Girls (including a jessica drake gift basket sadly not containing jessica drake), Courtney Cummz, Nicki Hunter, Nina Hartley, and probably everyone else.

Not only that, but celebrity MC duties will be handled by Brody Stevens, Chris Nieratko, Ari Shaffir, and Steve Agee. And, almost as exciting as the thought of a 14-foot game of Footsie under your dream date table, my band, Fogelfoot, will also be there. But we will not date you. (There is also a band called The Makers, and I am assured they are nice young men.)

Organizer Kane tells us that all proceeds of the evening (which features two full bars) will be going to AIM. So, if you want Beladonna's ass to continue to be haunted by friendly ghosts, we'll see you on Saturday.

· Belladonna And Kimberly Kane's Winter Wonderland (posterous.com)
· AIM (aim-med.org)

Consider the best porn movies which are, let's say, a concerted effort between performers, videographers, and directors to get you off. The RealTouch adds yet another participant to your masturbation's open marriage: a hard-working haptic encoder.

The RealTouch device is slightly bigger than that squash you devoured yesterday, and far more interesting to put your penis in. Opposite your penis, a USB cable connects the RealTouch hardware to your computer where, logged in to your account at RealTouch.com, you can access hundreds of scenes specially coded for use with your new conversation starter.

Starting with an ever-increasing library of straight, gay, and even anime P.O.V. videos, RealTouch's North Carolina-based programmers then assiduously mark, frame by frame, each movement of (for example) Tori Black's mouth, adjusting for heat, wetness, friction, and ferocity, sending these routines to two opposing conveyor belts within the machine. Ditto Tori's hands, ass, and vagina.

Unlike other marital aids in which the user actually has to do more work to operate them, the RealTouch is particularly eager to please. You select a video and put your dick in a machine. Science and your own self-control do the rest.

"I just stood there," one test subject said. "It really did all the work for me."

One drawback of the RealTouch is that it is not yet Mac compatible. So I farmed out the job of testing the device and its web interface to three PC users. Top of the list of my review criteria was not to tell me how weird it was.

"Look," I said. "We know it's weird."

Initial web setup and login to the RealTouch account were simple, followed by a Windows Media-based software download that was considerably less difficult than a WordPress install. Our review model made a whirring sound and one subject was tentative about making a penile approach to it.

"I didn't know if I'd come back," he said.

But they were Heroes, and each on different occasions tried videos with Tera Patrick, Ashlynn Brooke, Tori Black, Bree Olson, and Jenna Jameson, noting that Bree used up a lot of lube.

The belts work in conjunction with heating coils, a lube reservoir, and a simple adjustably tight seal (but haptics don't care how big you are). Is one hole different from the other? The belts squeeze tighter and the coils heat hotter when you're in Bree's ass.

Cleaning, refilling, and transporting this machine require, as you'd imagine, a commitment, but not one our test subjects, each either happily married or otherwise partnered, minded ("but watch out for leaks," one said).

What I find fascinating about the RealTouch is that someone in Charlotte was focusing as intently on Jenna Jameson or Lisa Ann (or dozens of other actresses) as you would be, dropping coder's keystrokes in anticipation of your eventual loads.

So, even though masturbation is a personal experience, the RealTouch proves that it takes a village to jerk you off.

· RealTouch (realtouch.com)

What is "Case," you ask? Why a "deadpan reading of the classic cyberpunk novel Neuromancer," one that involves "moving Bauhaus-inspired sculptural props accompanied by the Gamelan ensemble Dharma Swara."

We, personally, will have to see it to believe it. (Good thing we already bought our tickets!)

· Brody Condon's "Case" (newmuseum.org)
· Image of Sasha Grey via Twistys (twistys.com)

Even Sasha Grey has to work her way up the normal ranks of German power. First you have to be in "art" magazines, then GQ, then Playboy, and then you become Chancellor (with a simultaneous yet clandestine grip on Deutsche Bank). Of course, she's trying to expedite the process by dressing up like Nabokov's Lolita. Best of luck to you, Sasha; there are so many countries still standing.

· Sasha Grey x Playboy Germany (yuhmm.com)

Now, through the magic of technology, you, yourself, can watch Sasha's acceptance speech. And it'll almost be like you were there yourself. For reals.

On the female side of things, the top five slots went to (in no particular order!): Joanna Angel, Faye Reagan, Sasha Grey, Stoya, and Andy San Dimas. The top five men? Marco Blaze, Barack Obama, James Deen, Evan Stone, and Reese Rideout.

Who among these worthy candidates will find themselves crowned victorious at next week's Fleshbot Awards? Only time will tell...

· Thumbnail stars: Andy San Dimas and Reese Rideout

· Sheer Luxe Cut Out Pantyhose (americanapparel.net)

· Sasha Grey (sashagrey.com)

In an article titled "Pornos, Art, and Nietzsche," German GQ breaks down the basics of Sasha Grey. She's a pornstar. She's an actress. She's hot. She's philosophically and musically inclined. Little by little, the world will fall under her multi-faceted charms. The day will come when you can go to any country on Earth, say "Sasha Grey," and someone will buy you a drink.

Photos by Cellina von Mannstein, via GQ-Shooting - Sasha Grey (gq-magazin.de)

We caught up with Sasha a few weeks ago, and picked her brain about how her life has changed since "The Girlfriend Experience"—and where we can expect to see her over the next few years (spoiler: she's definitely trying to take over the world).

· Sasha Grey (sashagrey.com)

· Fang Ling Lee (fanglinglee.com)

It really was Tommy Gunn's week: First he debuted his pretty awesome "Cummin at You" 3-D porn, in which he and Sindee Jennings literally COME RIGHT AT YOU, and then he trotted off to fuck Jada Fire in Dave Naz's upcoming "Cheating Hollywood Wives" for Private.

I love this picture of Jada Fire. She looks like the type of backup singer the star gets jealous of and kicks off the tour.

Next is Bree Olson in the upcoming "Bree's College Daze 3" for Adam & Eve. Like ZZ Top once did, Bree travels to various places - in the case of these movies, colleges - and makes things right. With her very Breeness.

Breeness rhymes with penis, and that is exactly what Mr. Marcus has up Sasha Grey in "Cheating Hollywood Wives." See how I worked that in there? See how Mr. Marcus did? One seems more fun than the other ...

Puckered Up: The Anal Game Show

Studio: Hustler
Director: Richard de Montfort
Cast: Sasha Grey, Amber Rayne, Trinity Post, Maxi, Michelle Avanti, Missy Stone, Daisy Strong

Review by: Gram Ponante

The setup is simple: five women compete for bragging rights in an anal match game that would even impress Charles Nelson Reilly. So if you like really clinical closeups of anuses that are as well maintained as they are capacitous (sometimes, as you may unfortunately know, the two don't always go hand in hand), this is the movie for you.

For the rest of us, well, any chance to watch Amber Rayne work is worth the effort of not being the biggest fan of graphic studies of the movie's hole of choice. But the scholar appreciates it the way one might not like opera but sure thinks those valkyries are hot.

Rayne performs her party tricks with verve and abandon, setting a standard almost impossible for Michelle Avanti, Trinity Post, and covergirl Sasha Grey to follow. Trinity Post is adorable in her scene, and Grey's greenroom tryst with Daisy Strong is, if not the best work either has done, at least postmodern.

Speaking of postmodern, "Puckered Up" is probably the final movie of the late Richard de Montfort's to be released, though it was shot at various times over the past few years, as we can tell by the presence of Michelle Avanti, who left the adult business last year to become an anti-porn crusader. Her scene with a man whose dick looks like a full bladder is almost painful to watch, as she is clearly on (or off) her meds and because he has the habit of repeating "That's nasty."

"Puckered Up," in terms of its game show theme, is a little scattershot, but for hardcore browneye fans this movie is a goldmine.

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As far as interviews with Sasha go, this one's pretty good—there's a good deal of focus on "The Girlfriend Experience," with some time spent discussing the dynamics of mainstream crossover, Sasha's idols (both in and out of the adult industry), and, naturally, Sasha's plans for the future.

· Australia - Our Communications Manager Talks with Sasha Grey (viceland.com)
· Thumbnail from Vice's Sasha Restrained (viceland.com)