Fleshbot: straight, sad

Porn Theatre Arson In Osaka

Richard — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 08:50:44 EDT

Sad news from Japan: An arsonist set fire to Osaka's Cats Adult Video Theater early Wednesday morning, killing 15 people. (Apparently, such theaters are popular overnight resting spots for young people and for businessmen who miss their trains.) Police have arrested a 46-year-old man who admitted to setting the blaze—by which he intended to kill himself, telling police that he was "tired of living". Which is never a reaction we've had watching porn, no matter how bad it's been. (w/video @ NHK.or.jp, via AVN)

Yet More (Really Bad) Sarah Palin Porn

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:55:33 EDT

Porn has always a tendency to take cues from current events and pop culture (see: Operation Desert Stormy, Hillary For President, The Eliot Splitz-her Story). So it seems only natural that Sarah Palin's crash landing into the public eye would offer some inspiration to the great minds of Porn Valley. After all, there are so many angles to take: a dominating MILF who takes care of five kids, runs the country, and has mindblowing sex (all without mussing up her perfectly coiffed hair); the hot babe who puts some life into McCain's campaign (and his other parts too); or even just a gonzo look at the (sexy) secret life of hockey moms. (It does get pretty cold up there in Alaska, you know—how else do you think they keep warm?).

Yet somehow, all of the Pain "inspired" adult material we've see has just been ... well, sad. First there those "naked" Sarah Palin Photoshop jobs, most of which were pathetic at best. And now we've been confront with two more offerings that almost make us want to give up all together: over at BigBoobsAlert, Charlie James has been proclaimed the Sarah Palin of porn, largely because of her MILF status and (nonexistent) resemblance to the Republican VP nominee.

And then there's "Impalin Palin", a site which would shame even the most committed of Democrats. Aside from its clever name (as clever as "Elilot Splitz-her" at least) there's nothing redeeming about it whatsoever — not even the lousy Photoshop job of Palin riding McCain, which is most definitely the least convincing Sarah Palin fake we've ever seen. Our one consolation is that it seems unlikely this movie will ever get past the concept stage.

Come on, America: don't we deserve better porn?

· Charlie James seducing a young guy at Milf Lessons (bigboobsalert.com)
· Impalin Palin - The Sarah Palin Porn (impalinpalin.com)

We're bummed to hear from our pal Audacia...

Jonnobot — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:15:45 EDT

We're bummed to hear from our pal Audacia Ray that the Village Voice has suddenly decided to shutter its Naked City blog, which had become as much a part of our daily routine as flossing and our late morning ass smoothie pick-me-up. Where are we supposed to keep up with the latest releases in the "Hey, Grandma Is A Whore" series now? (Uh, don't answer that.) (wakingvixen.com + nakedcity.com)

In a sign that the economy is really doing...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:20:06 EDT

In a sign that the economy is really doing that bad (yes, that bad), Hugh Hefner has made a drastic budget cut: he's decided to stop throwing his famed Playboy Mansion parties. It's truly the end of an era, but at least we have the pictures to remember it by. (coedmagazine.com)

Sri Lanka has banned internet porn—which...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 11:45:15 EDT

Sri Lanka has banned internet porn—which means we have had no choice but to put our Top Ten Sri Lankan Booty Babes post on hold indefinitely. Hey, we can play hardball too.(inquirer.net)

Rubbed Out: Remembering Ayveq The Wanking Walrus

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:35:32 EDT

There's a somber mood today here at Fleshbot East as we just learned about the tragic death of an American legend—Ayveq, the masturbating walrus. Dead at age 14 of a bacterial infection, he loved his devoted fans (and himself) for many years at—where else?—the Coney Island Aquarium. Please have a moment of silence before petting your own walrus later tonight. (brooklynpaper.com)

Thanks to everyone who wrote in with the...

Jonnobot — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:50:13 EDT

Thanks to everyone who wrote in with the sad news that "DC Madam" Deborah Palfrey has apparently committed suicide after being convicted last month of running a prostitution service, money laundering and racketeering. We had a feeling her case would get a lot stranger before it was all over, but we didn't quite think it would end like this; alleged client Senator David Vitter, meanwhile, is still alive. (ap.google.com + alternet.org + nola.com; see also commentary @ Naked City)

It's a little unnerving to read two stories...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:20:54 EDT

It's a little unnerving to read two stories about fatal electrostimulation incidents in one day, so we thought it would be a good time to remind you to be careful out there no matter how you choose to get off. (But maybe especially if you find yourself near any electrical outlets.) (eveningsun.com + dailymail.co.uk)

The new Sex Issue of Kansas City's Pitch...

Jonnobot — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:51:11 EST

The new Sex Issue of Kansas City's Pitch takes one last look at the sad story of Zoey Zane — and particularly the online cottage industry of misogynist, anti-sex nastiness that sprung up after her death. Not the most romantic read you'll have this Valentine's Day, but one you shouldn't miss either. (pitch.com - thanks W.)

So of course you wouldn't be so crass as...

Jonnobot — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:15:44 EST

So of course you wouldn't be so crass as to drool over pictures of an incredibly hot Russian glamour model-slash-private security entrepreneur who was tragically killed in a carjacking gone awry in Moscow this week? Of course you wouldn't.. (slog.thestranger.com; more @ dailymail.co.uk + CNN)

A sad reminder for all fetish enthusiasts...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:22:33 EST

A sad reminder for all fetish enthusiasts out there—do not rig your own amateur sexual devices when electrostimulation is involved. There are plenty of alternatives that you can buy that are much more effective ... and more importantly, safe. (abcnews.go.com)

Light a black candle or two today and have...

Jonnobot — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:00:17 EST

Light a black candle or two today and have a moment of silence to mark the passing of Maila Nurmi, better known as Vampira, whose 38-17-36 measurements caught the attention of legendary schlock director Ed Wood and earned her the adoration of a generation of proto-goth-babe loving fans. Oh, and us too. Rest in pace, Vampira. (nytimes.com + cultsirens.com)

Brantford, Ontario, spent $430,000 (Canadian!)...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:33:02 EST

Brantford, Ontario, spent $430,000 (Canadian!) to buy a strip club just so they could tear it apart. Now, if only there was some easy way for them to make all that money back ... (brantfordexpositor.ca)

A 33-year-old woman has been arrested and...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:05:40 EST

A 33-year-old woman has been arrested and charged with fourth-degree sexual assault ... on Santa Claus. That's it folks! Christmas is pretty much over now. (newstimes.com)

An abandoned strip club near Chicago has...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:23:46 EST

An abandoned strip club near Chicago has been turned into a Christmas tree store. It's like a Charlie Brown Christmas miracle only, you know ... the opposite of that. (chicagotribune.com)

It's sad to see that Emily Sander's (aka...

Fleshbot — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 11:25:02 EST

It's sad to see that Emily Sander's (aka Zoey Zane) "porn" "career" is getting a lot more attention as a result of her tragic death than it did shen she was alive; at least now when you visit her website you'll find information which her friends and family hope will lead to the capture of her suspected killer. (Along with some remarks on why this wasn't exactly a "missing porn star" case to begin with.) (zoeyzane.com)

It looks like a sad, but not completely unexpected...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:50:03 EST

It looks like a sad, but not completely unexpected end to the story of Zoey Zane: The AP is reporting that authorities have found a body that they believe to be Emily Sander, the young college student and internet star who went missing last week. Police are still searching for her suspected killer. (latimes.com)

It always pains us when a porn star meets...

Fleshbot — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:47:19 EST

It always pains us when a porn star meets a tragic end, and while amateur web starlet Zoey Zane—last seen here a few weeks ago—is still officially "missing", the evidence doesn't look too good. We'll be keeping our fingers crossed that she turns up OK, but watching too much "CSI" has pretty much clouded our optimism at this point. (ap.google.com; thumbnail via huliq.com)

Speaking of tennis, a club pro was recently...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:00:24 EST

Speaking of tennis, a club pro was recently fired from his new job, because his old job involved owning and designing adult websites (and maybe a little on-camera nudity), which no seemed to care about until an anonymous busybody figured out how to use Google and decided to write a letter. Note to that guy: That movie you saw where the tennis instructor seduces all his married clients ... was just a movie! (azcentral.com)

Our Fleshbot A/V club members inform us that...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:20:36 EST

Our Fleshbot A/V club members inform us that HBO ~~snooze~~ wank-fest "Tell Me You Love Me" contained zero sex scenes this week. Hey, at least we can't complain about how disappointing they were!