Fleshbot: straight, russia

If The Russians Love Their "Schoolgirls" Too

Gram Ponante — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:30:01 EST

One thing we lack in America is a strong tradition of boarding school-based pornography like they have in Europe, what with their "Young Harlots," "Suspiria," and now "Russian Institute: Back to School." How would our pornstresses handle a French voiceover?

You might say that "The Facts of Life" was pornographic, or even "Dead Poets' Society" with its glabrous scholars. But, aside from American porn's obsession with (but lack of proper use of) the tartan skirt and an occasional peek at Tootie's patootie, we simply lack the class structure to relate to the Sapphic goings-on between girls of privilege and the rough country swains who service their boarding school kitchens.

Director Herve Bodilis leads us through the story of Sabrina and her Francophone friends, all attendees at the Russian Institute. Sabrina is presented to crude village workmen on her first day, and then we watch as she makes her way through the teaching staff.

This movie was literally incomprehensible as I do not speak French, but because the language of the porn narrative is universal, the movie ends not when Sabrina wins her scholarship to the Sorbonne, but when the fifth scene ends.

True to Euro tradition, however, there is a lot of fucking outside and in the ass in this film, and that is more than adequate compensation for my continued puzzlement about how Russians were involved.

· Wicked Pictures (dorcel.com)
· Buy "Russian Institute: Back to School" (gamelink.com)

Olga Arntgolts And Tatyana Arntgolts Follow In Kate Moss's (Topless) Footsteps

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:30:00 EST

Kate Moss is well known for her topless boat rides—but apparently she's not the only model who likes to unwind by getting undressed on a yacht. Hell, even the Russian models have gotten into it!

Above, a very relaxing moment from "Glyanets" (aka "Gloss"), an eye opening look at the Russian fashion industry. And by eye opening, we mean...well, just look at these girls, people.

· "Glyanets" (imdb.com)
· Olga Arntgolts and Tatyana Arntgolts in "Glyanets" (upcomingnudescenes.net)

Breaking: Russians Enjoy Breasts, Preferably Naked

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:30:01 EDT

What's that, Russia! magazine? You say that Russians like boobs—and they especially like looking at them unclothed and on the internet? Why that's...not at all surprising. (But thanks for the hot links—we owe you one!) (readrussia.com, thumbnail)

Anna Starshenbaum: From Russia, With (Naked) Love

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:30:01 EDT

We must admit, we had no idea that Russia had such beautiful, pristine beaches...though we're less surprised to learn that Russia's beaches are filled with gorgeous topless women along the order of Anna Starshenbaum.

Model Anna Starshenbaum Topless For Maxim 06/09 (dailypoa.com)
Model Anna Starshenbaum Topless For Maxim 06/09 (dailypoa.com)
Model Anna Starshenbaum Topless For Maxim 06/09 (dailypoa.com)
Model Anna Starshenbaum Topless For Maxim 06/09 (dailypoa.com)

Germans are apparently complaining that...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:25:03 EDT

Germans are apparently complaining that they can't go on vacation to Turkey without the Russians coming down and spoiling everything with their "whores and vodka". Um, aren't whores and vodka pretty much the reason you would go on vacation to begin with? (thelocal.de; thumb and vodka gallery via assexyasitgets.com)

Russia may be a strategic rival with mysterious...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 12:40:05 EDT

Russia may be a strategic rival with mysterious habits and different tastes in porn from the kind that we're used to ... but that doesn't mean they don't know how to put together a good cheerleading squad. They may be many things, but they're not uncivilized. (englishrussia.com)

Yes folks, the rumors are true: "A monument...

Richard — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:20:35 EDT

Yes folks, the rumors are true: "A monument to the enema ... has been unveiled ... in the ... Russian city of Zheleznovodsk." Which may be all you need to know about that story (and all we can quote, given the bipolar disease affecting the Associated Press these days). The gist is that the hamlet in question is known for its enemas—which would perhaps make it the sister city of Washington, D.C., which is known for its douchebags. (Consider that our humble wakka-wakka to the late, great, George Carlin.) (msn.com + nytimes.com + cnn.com)

Student Sex Parties: Where Delicious Food, Cold Beer, And Hot Boobs Are Always On The Menu

Jonnobot — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:30:12 EDT

Why yes, poking fun at the oddly translated English-language copy on some foreign produced websites really is as easy as shooting those proverbial fish in a barrel, and is a form of humor which really ought to be beneath us. That said, we're at least as tickled by the merrily convoluted scene descriptions at the evidently former Eastern Bloc-produced Student Sex Parties as we are by the scenes themselves, which seem to feature mostly students at the continuing education end of the university spectrum. Join us after the jump for some of StudentSexParties.com's more delightful descriptive moments ... and pity us that our own bright college days weren't nearly this interesting.

. . .

Who knows what these young and careless students can think up another moment? Nobody does! Here they are - going to attend the classes and be as zealous in studies as ever possible, but as soon as the company gathers at the university doors, these lazy guys and babes immediately get willing to escape from classes and spend their time with a couple of bottles of beer, laughing and entertaining!

Guys gathered in their common friend's place having brought much delicious food, lots of beer and home cameras, eager to record the party for the history! Ha! We are not sure about the food and alcohol, but their home cams were right in the nick of time and both men and chicks were soon caught in the most revealed views!

All the students have passed their examinations and now they are ready for some celebration! Are you aware of this great student custom to gather in warm company and spend some good time together before the forthcoming holidays?

· Student Sex Parties (membership previews @ studentsexparties.com)

Attack Of The Penis Copter

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 20 May 2008 09:59:06 EDT

Oh, those crazy Russian activists! They interrupted a speech by chess champ turned politician Gary Kasparov with some sort of flying dildo contraption. But they sure made their point! (Wait, was their point again?) Click for video and the security guard's King Kong reaction.

. . .

· Flying Russian Penis Caught on Tape (daveandthomas.blogspot.com)

Faux-Lesbian Russian Pop Star Update: t.A.T.u. Uncensored

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 19 May 2008 13:52:48 EDT

Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova may be the most popular singing duo that no one has ever heard sing: that's because when t.A.T.u performs, no one is really there to listen to the music. But by filling their stage act and music videos with unrepentant sexual teasing, they've made quite a name for themselves. We first saw the video for their single "White Robe" a few months and were naturally intrigued by the communist-era women-behind-bars imagery, but found it a little ... lacking. Until this weekend, when our inbox flooded with helpful tipsters pointing us to the uncensored version, which despite the gratuitous boobage has miraculously managed to stay up on YouTube for over a month. The nudity may be brief, but it's still glorious and it's worth sticking around for the surprise twist ending. (Even if the whole thing makes no actual sense. You can check out the English language version too and see if that helps.)

. . .

· t.A.T.u. - White Robe (Official English Version) (YouTube)
· t.A.T.u. - Белый Плащик (White Robe) Uncensored (YouTube)

Remember that hot Russian gymnast that Vladimir...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:23:09 EDT

Remember that hot Russian gymnast that Vladimir Putin recruited to serve in Parliament? Apparently, he liked her political skills so much that he dumped his wife to marry her. The fact that she's half his age and very flexible is probably just a coincidence. (canadafreepress.com)

Russian Bank Pinup Babes Invite You To Make A Deposit

Jonnobot — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:47:50 EST

While perestroika inaugurated a system of economic reforms that resulted in the collapse of the Soviet Union, let's not forget that it also ultimately allowed hot Russian bank tellers to become pin-up calendar girls ... all in the name of improved international relations! Retail and commercial banking group Expobank has published a customer giveaway calendar featuring twelve of the bank's sexiest employees, scantily clad in provocative poses with tongue-in-cheek bank slogans, as a promotion for VIP clients. "I keep getting compliments about the calendar from my VIP clients, especially from the men — but the women say nice things too," Miss March Anna Pogodina was quoted as saying in the Daily Mail this weekend. "I didn't expect, when I was having my picture taken, that I would see my name and full job title on the calendar. I was really surprised — and rather pleased." It does make you wonder, though, why these women are working in a bank. Imagine if Gisele Bündchen was processing the paperwork for your car loan? - JC

· "Bare-clays Bank...High Street giant bids for Russian bank with a very saucy staff calendar" (dailymail.co.uk)
· Expobank (expobank.ru, though you won't find the rest of the pinup calendar here ... if anyone knows where we can see more, please let us know!)

So of course you wouldn't be so crass as...

Jonnobot — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:15:44 EST

So of course you wouldn't be so crass as to drool over pictures of an incredibly hot Russian glamour model-slash-private security entrepreneur who was tragically killed in a carjacking gone awry in Moscow this week? Of course you wouldn't.. (slog.thestranger.com; more @ dailymail.co.uk + CNN)

Russia is considering a bill that would...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:37:03 EST

Russia is considering a bill that would impose fines for "reading erotic and pornographic publications in public places." No word yet on how this will affect Maria Sharapova's tennis career. (avn.com)

Naked Candidates Make Russian Politics Even More Interesting

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:01:14 EST

No sooner had we trained our politically scientific eye to the French political scene, then we stumbled on this even sexier development from the country formerly known as the Soviet Union. It seems that current Russian overlord Vladimir Putin discovered a better way to distract voters from his policies than dating a sexy French pop star—he recruited several of the country's former Olympic athletes to ruin for parliamentary elections under his party banner. The only requirements were that they be sexy and female, but that was apparently enough to get them all elected. We're sure it had nothing to do with the relative un-freeness of the Russian voting system and everything to with their, uh ... qualifications, which you can see below. Maybe if our Libertarian or Green parties had thought of this tactic we wouldn't be in the state we're in now.

. . .

· Gymnast Svetlana Khorkina (thenewsvault.com)
. . .

· Rythmic gymanst Alina Kabayeva (bestsexycelebs.com)
. . .

· Ballerina Svetlana Zakharova
. . .

· Boxer Natalia Karpovich
. . .

· Skater Svetlana Zhurova

· Who's The Hottest Lady In The Russian Parliament? (pollsb.com)
· "United Russia Leader signs up totty for his political party" (thesun.co.uk, via sugarbank.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Carla Bruni Makes French Politics Interesting

So what do radical Islamists do in their...

Jonnobot — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:59:13 EST

So what do radical Islamists do in their spare time? According to a group of Russian hackers who infiltrated one of their websites and installed a keystroke logging program to record their web surfing habits, they like to kick back with some hot erotic fiction and amateur and tranny porn. Looks like we have a lot more in common with these folks than we thought! (mypetjawa.mu.nu)

The arms race may be over (er, right?),...

Fleshbot — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:17:45 EST

The arms race may be over (er, right?), but that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of hot Russian women (most of whom seem to be named Tatiana) hard at work on their nation's nuclear program. Hopefully our own nuclear research initiatives are keeping up—we'd hate to get caught behind. (miss2007nuclear.ru, via Xfanz)

So, like, did anyone hear the one about...

Fleshbot — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 13:09:53 EST

So, like, did anyone hear the one about the Russian nightclub that was closed down after a senator walked in and caught two chicks giving a blowjob to a Nigerian stripper while the DJ played the national anthem in the background? Neither had we, after seeing the kind of things that go in in Russian nightclubs, we can only assume that counted as a slow evening. (sexisthenewblog.com)

Looking Deeper: Nudes By Kirill Borgia

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:36:40 EDT

Unlike a lot of photographers who specialize in "classy" artistic nudes, Russian artist Kirill Borgia seems to have a healthy fascination with and respect for the vagina. (Hey, who doesn't?) From the back or the front, close up or a distance, he's not afraid to feature the magic spot prominently in any of his images. Of course, other parts of the body get shown off too, and they're all attached to those natural Eastern Eurobabes we've come to know so well. See? It doesn't always have to be about the boobs. Ok, maybe a little bit. Not 100% though.

· sensuousarts.com (sensuousarts.com)
· Kirill Borgia (borgia.front.ru, via fluffy Lychees)

We're not totally convinced that men's underwear...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 10:42:54 EDT

We're not totally convinced that men's underwear drives women to distraction—or blasphemy—especially when they aren't wearing them. Most dudes don't even want to be near those thing come laundry day. (webpark.ru)