Birthday party via Teenage Group Sex

Queeny Love, November 8 (iafd.com)
QueenyLove.com (porneskimo.com)

Roxy DeVille, November 8 (iafd.com)
She's (apparently) retired, and we miss her terribly!
Penthouse (penthouse.com)

Madison Mason, November 14 (iafd.com)
Pure Sybian (puresybian.com)

Cali Lee, November 15 (iafd.com)
New Sensations (nsgalleries.com)

Carli Banks, November 16 (iafd.com)
Stunners (promo.stunners.com)

Shay Jordan, November 17 (iafd.com)
Digital Playground (digitalplaygroundpornstars.com)

Angelina Armani, November 18 (iafd.com)
Naughty America (naughtyamerica.com)

Aneta Keys, November 18 (iafd.com)
Glossy Angels (galleries.payserve.com)

Stacy Adams, November 19 (iafd.com)
Black Ice (blackicepass.com)

This is the sixth episode of "PG Porn" that we've seen, and we think we've finally figured something out: every other episode of the series is good. As far as we're concerned, "Roadside Ass-istance" and "Helpful Bus" were the times when Gunn really hit his mark... while, uh, "Squeal Happy Whores" was a little... off.

Alas, "High Poon" comes on the heels of the stellar "Helpful Bus," and—in keeping with the pattern—doesn't quite live up to its predecessor. And what's funny is that the problem is a pretty simple one: "High Poon" doesn't actually fulfill the promise of "PG Porn." It's not a super porny setup that takes an unexpected turn for the nonsexual; in this case, it's the tale of a super controlling director who can't stop interrupting the taping of his cowboy porn.

Do you see the distinction we're making here?

James Gunn, if you happen to be reading this: we really love the exposure you're giving all these girls, and we do love "PG Porn"—when it's actually PG porn. If you could just stick with that premise... well, we'd be even bigger fans than we currently are.

· "High Poon" (spike.com)

Starring alongside Roxy are Alan Tudyk from "Serenity," James Gunn, Ted Stryker from "Loveline," and, of course, the one and only Belladonna. We've got our fingers crossed that this'll be a good one—though with Belladonna and Roxy on board, how could anything possibly go wrong?

· PG PORN: HIGH POON Challenges Susan Boyle to a SHOWDOWN! (jamesgunn.com)

· 'Belladonna: Fetish Fanatic Chapter 7' from Evil Angel (avn.com)

Yes, suddenly everything is about Stormy Daniels—and it's only going to keep coming. From TPM to Politico, across Fire Dog Lake and through Daily Kos, slipping into the Drudge before wiping off and cleaning up with HuffPo, everyone is talking about her. She's literally all over the blogosphere—which is fine by us. Ubiquity becomes her, in our estimation. And for every repressed Puritan who attacks her, a plethora of fans rise up to defend the busty starlet, testifying to her genial and alluring nature, both in front of and behind the camera. Still, since her media headlines coincide with the impending release of her latest plot-driven movie, "Whack Job," we'd like to make sure that no one gets the two confused in any way.

Displaying her usual touch for poetically blending comedic timing with lusty fantasies, the award winning writer/director tells the story of a spoiled mafia princess who has just discovered her boyfriend in bed with another woman, or, in layman's terms, Roxy DeVille catching lovely Kaylani Lei fucking her man. What's the daughter of a mobster to do? Walk away with a broken heart? Fuggadaboutit! She's nobody's goumada! Roxy puts out not one, but two, hits on the testa di merda and calls it a day. Hilarity ensues. We won't spoil it for you, but you can check out the sneak peek gallery and try to guess the ending. We promise it will be far less predictable then Stormy's senate bid.

"Whack Job" comes out next week from Wicked Pictures.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

In honor of all the ladies who've avoided the bleach bottle and stayed true to their roots, we've put together a roundup of a few (though most certainly not all) dark haired girls who really get us going.

. . .

Gabriella Fox (Image courtesty of Digital Playground)

Roxy DeVille

Ava Rose

Regan Reese

Luna (nextdoormania.com)

Audrey Bitoni

Adriana Sage (morazzia.com)

Posh (suicidegirls.com)

Apnea

Maria Ozawa

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Now, after hearing Roxy's tale, we're not sure that we'd be super into the whole green paint thing... but for the chance to get a little closer to Roxy, well, there are a lot of things we'd put up with. Even the nasty taste of green paint. (Roxy, call us!)

· This Ain't The Munsters XXX (aintthemunsters.com)

Straight from the red carpet of the AVN Awards, here our some of our favorite (and not so favorite) fashion choices. We'll let you decide which is which.

· AVN Awards (avnawards.com)

"This year I have a podium!" she exclaimed. "Last year I was at the Naughty America booth, and they had us on a bed, and there was no personal space. But now I can keep my distance. And if I want to be nice..."

She leaned her elbows on the podium top, and bent over to reveal just how nice she could be.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

And now that we think about it, her whole body is actually pretty adorable, as are the noises she makes when she's getting turned on... and don't even get us started on what she looks like with a freshly shot load all over her face. Oh Roxy, we give up: you're just too cute for us, period!

· Hot pink blowjob with Roxy Deville! (pornhub.com)

. . .

· Hot threesome in bed (redtube.com)

Somehow, amazingly, yes. "XOXO Joanna Angel" is truly a tribute to Joanna's strengths as a performer. In eight full scenes, she explores a great deal of new ground, getting down and dirty (and we do mean dirty) in the best possible way. It is, perhaps, some of the highest praise we can give to say that Joanna makes a gangbang look like a whole lot of fun: after watching her eagerly enjoy cock after cock, we found ourselves wondering why, exactly, we'd never made the time to include such a fabulous activity in our own lives.

Fans of "Porny Monster" and "Joanna's Angels" may be disappointed to learn that "XOXO" doesn't have much of a plot. When the feature begins, Joanna is getting ready to go out to a club; we soon learn that she's headed to the release party for "XOXO Joanna Angel" (not to be confused with this). At the party, she screens "XOXO Joanna Angel," the movie within a movie (porno within a porno?) that comprises five of the eight sex scenes (the other three work their way into the film as Joanna tells sexy stories to fellow partygoers). Of course, given that "XOXO" clocks in at over three hours, we'd have a hard time sitting through any plot it offered anyway: unless you're in the mood for a marathon porn session, the film is probably best enjoyed on a scene-by-scene basis (in which case an overarching plot is ultimately irrelevant).

So: with anal, blowjobs, girl on girl, group sex, a gang bang, bukkake, voyeurism, bondage, BDSM, exhibitionism, masturbation, phone sex, nightvision sex, a blow bang, and an appearance by "Barack Obama," we're pretty sure that Ms. Angel has pretty thoroughly covered the porn continuum from A-Z. And really, what more could we ask? We're thrilled to see to Joanna at her filthiest: really, our only request is "More, please."

But hey, don't just take our word for it. Check out the gallery of stills below, and see for yourself:

· Buy "XOXO Joanna Angel" (gamelink.com)
· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)

Actually. we’re not sure exactly what Ed contributes to "Tera Goes Gonzo"; we were too bust watching Tera and her costars to analyze things too much. But one thing is clear: with a supporting cast that includes Nautica Thorn, Daisy Marie, Roxy DeVille, Gianna Lynn, Kelle Marie, and Stefani Morgan, we’re more than willing to endure whatever other support staff Tera decided to hire to get things done.

In other news, we hear that TeraVision has also leased out the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva and will harness its awesome power to travel back to 1982 and make a real proto-gonzo video. In the meantime, however, "Tera Goes Gonzo" hits the shelves later this month..

• Tera Patrick (all things Tera @ terapatrick.com)
• Order: "Tera Goes Gonzo" (adultdvdempire.com)

. . .

Mia Lina (pps.amateursgonebad.com)

Grace Shin (thaicuties.net)

Neyrissa (suicidegirls.com)

Brea Bennett (timdir.com)

Tailynn (asianbutterflies.com)

Evette (suicidegirls.com)

Ametista (galleries.nubiles.net)

Luna (lunascam.com)

Aor Chan (thaicuties.net)

Sienna West (aziani.com)

Roxy DeVille (razordolls.com)

Rambo (suicidegirls.com)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Join us after the gap for more Popshots, in which we show porn stars not as the world sees them but how they really are.

. . .

Elson and Sascha—America's hardest-working male German porn performer!—discuss an issue common to every couple: Whither creampie?

Across town, tiny Destiny dons a kabuki mask and a strap-on (read my article in September's Atlantic Monthly: Rejected Kiss Army Accessories) for David Aaron Clark's "Asia Noir 6."

The striking Coco Velvett slowly melted into that couch for the next 45 minutes as Destiny turned into a demon.

In posh Bel-Air, bite-sized Teagan modeled her new breasts for photographer Holly Randall. "They actually bunce when I run," said Teagan.

Meanwhile, Roxy DeVille says, "Hello, Fleshbot Readers!"

"People would tell me about your ass, Teagan, " said the towering DeVille, "but I really had to see it to believe it. Oh My Fucking God."

Scene One features a tuxedoed Ireland playing Master and Servant with Roxy DeVille. At one point Ireland must retrieve something the loss of which can't be explained by gravity.

Only Ireland's penciled-on John Waters moustache distracts from the scene. So I just closed my eyes and thought of Baltimore.

The beauty of this movie is that, even if you feel you would be turned away had you showed up with your testosterone and Manifest Destiny, you would still have the consolation that the women were doing to each other everything you would have. It is as if you wrote your suggestions on little notecards and they were duly considered.

Trinity Post and Amber Rayne leave Kissy Kapri in the dust in the bendy department, and the latter takes her revenge by slapping the hell out of Rayne, who doesn't seem to mind.

Eva Angelina is like Ireland's South of the Border younger sister. I have the impression Ireland didn't have to direct her much in her scene with Sammi Rhodes.

Cruel Aiden Starr opines in the final scene, as a box of toys arrives:

"You know sometimes if their cock is too small you gotta put a butt plug in your ass to feel it?" she asks Jandi Lin and Tricia Oaks.

... and that is the only thing that made me sad. Next time I see a butt plug I won't think, "Ooh: a butt plug." Instead, I'll think, "Someone's parts are small."

· Adam And Eve (adameve.com)
· Kylie Ireland (kylieireland.com)
· Buy "Bitch And Moan 2" (gamelink.com)

From the press release: "I was sitting around thinking in all my years in the biz, all the sex scenes I've done, what is the best part of the experience, the ultimate? Well, that would be when one girl is sucking my cock and another is eating my ass. Or, one girl sitting on my face and the other eating my ass. Or, two girls eating my ass at once... you get the idea! I thought, 'why not make a movie about it?' And so Asseaters Unanimous 16: Dinner for Two was born."

We assure you that these are Before photos.

"Asseaters Unanimous 16" also stars Jandi Lin, Jada Fire, Angel Eyes, Naudia Nyce, Darryl Hanah, Flower Tucci, Carolyn Reese, Roxy DeVille, Adrianna Nicole, Holly Wellin, Dana DeArmond, and Paris Gables.

We are sorry that we have nothing else to tell you about this movie, since we're already late for dinner for the rest of our lives.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)

After a brief retirement to race dirt bikes, Rotten is back to prove that no one does horror porn better with the release of "The Texas Vibrator Massacre", which stars Ruby Knox, Daisy Tanks, Gia Paloma, Roxy DeVille, Jaime Elle, and Bella Lynn — none of whom were actually harmed (much less massacred) during the production. The vibrators, however, are another story.

· Rob Rotten's Punx Productions (punxproductions.com)
· "The Texas Vibrator Massacre" (metrointeractive.com)

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Previously: Rob Rotten's "Swallow My Children": Yes, It's A Comedy, DVD: "Anal Swine", Porn Vegas Dispatch: Rob Rotten Is Actually A Very Nice Young Man

"Swallow My Children" is also the only movie I'm aware of that credits its actors in little sperm representations of themselves.

Read our review after the gap.

- - -

Swallow My Children

Studio: Metro
Director: Rob Rotten
Cast: Mercedes Santos, Marsha Lord, Sasha Grey, Herather Gables, Roxy Deville, Laurie Vargas, Whitney Stevens, Daisy Tanks, Brandi, Britney Stevens, Leighlani Red, Allison Pierce, Chavon Taylor, Fayth Deluca, Kaylee Love Cox, Jocelyn Jaden

Review by: - Gram Ponante

Rob Rotten's Swallow My Children is a love letter to Acton, CA, which Rotten (because I can't find anyone else who says it) describes as "the energy capital of the world". Acton, situated on the wrong side of Magic Mountain and in the vicinity of various high desert nuclear tests, is like a blend of Los Angeles and a disaffected desert Hell. We should all live there in order to complete our transformations.

Rotten combines people from the neighborhood with many performers you've never seen before (or perhaps will never see again), along with the rough and ready likes of Sasha Grey, Alison Pierce, and Roxy Deville to present a blowjob movie that is so much more than a blowjob movie; it is like a little piece of punk art and something that should go on the Acton Chamber of Commerce's website.

Unfortunately, the movie was not shot in Acton at all, but in one of the standard-issue porn McMansions here in Los Angeles.

"Then why did you mention Acton?" I asked Rotten.

"There was this brand-new 18-year-old girl who was asking us a good place to visit in California," Rotten said. "I couldn't think of a worse place than Acton, so that showed up in the movie."

As "Acton" is mentioned early in the flick, and as Rotten improvised most of the ridiculous scenes with a variety of white trash characters, Swallow My Children seems like what The Kentucky Fried Movie would have been had fellatio been involved.

The movie is very silly, and Rotten has chosen performers that look sexy in natural light, in bare feet, with minimal makeup.

"I tell people not to come with the porn heels and the stupid porn bikinis," Rotten said.

Best line:: "What are you doing in my tub? Maybe the piss can wait!"

There are also scenarios in which a blowjob is traded for the return of a retarded uncle's bike, an unlikely tryst on a roof with porn-ratty Tony Tedeschi, and some trampolines. After Dirty Harry's, the best line is: "Can I borrow your weight room? Mine's being worked on."

The secret to an effective porn movie (at least for a male audience) is juicy women having sex with loopy undesirables. "Swallow My Children" is an effective porn movie.

"Swallow My Children", though everyone in it is tatted out with metal playing in the background, is so silly, well lit, and populated with healthy vixens that it seems wholesome. After all, isn't a blowjob the friendliest gesture one can make? It's when penetration happens that people get all possessive.

· Rob Rotten's "Swallow My Children" Trailer (punxproducttions.com)
· Metro Interactive (metrointeractive.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Porn Reviews Archive