Which explains (in part) why they've released a four plus hour title starring some of your favorite cock gargling starlets, back when they were fresh and new and nearly factory sealed, their young hearts and vaginas still as indestructible like those famous plastic combs from our childhoods.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" is more than just a compilation video starring Bree Olson, Amy Ried, Ava Rose, Lacie Heart, Riley Mason, Audrey Bitoni, Carmen Kinsley, Chase Dasani, Krystal Jordan, Lindsey Meadows, Ruby Flame, Samantha Sin, and Stefanie Renee—it's also an invitation to recall those halcyon days of yonder, fleeting quickly into life's rear view mirror as we push ever further towards the great equalizer. It's one great big "carpe diem" shouted up into the face of the howling abyss, a double finger superhero salute to the darkness that threatens to strip all meaning away from this brief and wonder filled dream.

Is that too morbid? Welcome to the winter of our discontent. It's been a wild year, one where we lost too many we cherished. That being said, "Cum Fuck Them Young" is also a reminder to grab life by the tail, to chuck out that which is truly non-essential, and to embrace our animal instincts right here and now.

Seeing young and vibrant Ava Rose have her tight and tiny clam pried open again takes us back. Likewise, it fills the cockles of our hearts with joy to see a thin, bubbly Bree Olson get nailed in the ass—almost as if it is her very first time. With so many amazing starlets doing what we have grown to love them for, this release is like the "family-sized" value saver equivalent of a pornographic Costco—which is fine from time to time.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" releases next week from New Sensations. Check out this awesome gallery, exclusive to Fleshbot, then go out and seize the day!

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Directed by Max Royale, "The New Romantix" falls into the category of docuporn. There's no plot, per se; instead, Max interviews his starlets, getting them to open up a bit about their lives, their pasts, and their sexual awakenings—and then films them acting out a little fantasy of their own (whether that's masturbating while listening to music, filming sex in the dark with an infrared camera, or having a threeway in a bouncy castle).

It's a simple, effective format, but one that's heavily reliant on the quality of the cast. Luckily, there's nothing to worry about in that department: "The New Romantix" showcases a stellar group of starlets, including newly minted Crush Object Ryan Keely, Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel, and the retired (and much missed) Lexi Bardot, all of whom are as delightful to listen to as they are to watch fucking.

The cast of "The New Romantix" is so magnificent, and each scene so unique, that it's difficult for us to pick a favorite scene or section—though if we had to, we'd give extra bonus points to the Lexi Belle/Lexi Bardot/Tommy Pistol bouncy castle threeway, simply for sheer creativity (and because we imagine that it's rather difficult to get your sex on in a bouncy castle).

All in all, there was really only one thing we would have changed about the production: the omnipresence of James Deen. Much as we adore the AVN Male Performer of the Year, seeing him again and again (in three out of seven scenes), was just a little much for our tastes, and we would have preferred to see a little more diversity in the way of male talent. (Though, come to think of it, that may be more commentary on the porn industry's male talent than on Mr. Royale's casting ability.)

Over the years, Babeland has given us many quality toys and many quality orgasms, and we're extremely excited to see them moving into the porn arena. If "The New Romantix" is any indication of what they'll be bringing to the table, they have a very bright future ahead of them—and, for that matter, so do we.

· Buy "The New Romantix" (babeland.com)
· "The New Romantix" (newromantix.com)
· Max Royale (maxroyale.com)

It can't be easy, weathering the kinds of comments this particular type of attention invites on such a national level. For heaven's sake, our own grandmothers (who only watch Oprah) have asked about her. To her credit, the doe-eyed darling has ridden the pulse quickening swell of a comical, unexpectedly exponential rise as cartoonish as her surgically enhanced breasts with the zen calm of our president elect.

Prior to her casting in "Who's Nailin' Paylin?," Lisa Ann had all but hung up her garters, donning a heavy duty jogging bra and assuming the demanding daily duties of running an adult casting agency. Then, with little to no warning, her name was everywhere all at once, emblazoned on the pages of blog posts and falling out of the mouths of talk show hosts and redfaced political pundits, all while parasitic papparrazi from TMZ stalked her over the newest role. All this from a zesty romp with two guys dressed as Russian soldiers banging on her back door before working her open like an old school manual can opener. It wasn't all that different from any other scene she'd done, barring the fact that the “script” was “leaked” to the mainstream press and the scenes were immediately cut and made available online the day they were shot.

Yes, ubiquity has it's price—which in this particular case means not only being the butt of several jokes (as always, pun intended) but also starring in a lackluster sequel—a vehicle that contains barely more merit than its overall novelty factor (including the fantastic box art nod to Shepard Fairey). From all appearances, "Obama is Nailin' Palin" is little more than a high-powered interracial compilation release, with one very important distinction—a newly shot scene with Guy DiSilva playing Obama, and Lisa Ann reprising her former role on a full foot of fuckstick. The remaining scenes appear to be from Hustler's "Take It Black" series.

That's the bad news. The good news is that the other scenes contain girls like Riley Mason, Charlotte Stokely, and Jenna Haze—all of whom are more than happy to take over twelve glorious inches of hot, throbbing ebony love in their every orifice. And so with this release, we bid 2008 farewell. It really was a year of surprises, wasn't it?

Enjoy the pictures—and see you all next year!

"Obama is Nailin' Palin" releases this week from Hustler Video.

· Buy "Obama is Nailin' Palin" (hustlervideo.com)

· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
· Brenda Staudenmeier (thelovelybrenda.com)
· Goliath Books (burningangel.com)
· Order "Burning Angel" (amazon.com)

Read our review after the gap.

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Hookin' Up

Studio: Silver Age Productions
Director: Porno Jim
Cast: Page Morgan, Riley Mason, Simone Valentino, Brina James, Tommy Pistol, Zak Sabbath, Kenny

Review by Gram Ponante

Page, playing Shiloh (each character in the movie is named after a different celebrity kid; there's Frances Bean, Kal El, Audio Science Jones and, of course, Apple) is off to a club to celebrate her 21st birthday. Boyfriend Audio Science Jones (Zak Sabbath) is off to Idaho to fight fires ("Audio Science Jones is a man of his word," he explains) and can't join her, so pal Apple (Riley Mason), is going to get her a boy toy for her party.

The party takes place at a Brooklyn club (entertainment provided by the excellent Project Jenny Project Jan) and we watch the throng pair off amidst the birthday festivities. First Apple hooks up with Frances Bean ("The Bi Apple"'s Simone Valentino) and then Tallulah (Brina Jones) hooks up with Magnus (Kenny).

It is a pleasure to see New York clubs and ratty apartments again, and especially pornic versions of them. We are not led astray with unrealistic situations save for, say, the length of the hookups. Hookups are all about getting someone's pants off as fast as you can. Maybe the cab ride cooled their ardor enough to guarantee a porn-scene-length hookup.

The greatest verisimilitude is achieved in the Tallulah/Magnus scene. He is a little creepy and perhaps she regrets the hookup halfway through. I spotted this because she didn't swallow. As he strokes her hair afterward and says what a "pleasurable" time he had with her, he asks for her phone number.

She says, "That's not a good idea," and leaves, probably thinking that he'd just bought that copy of "Global Reach" to impress the ladies with his multinational douchebaggery.

Another characteristic of the two hookups we've seen is that one partner always has to jet off someplace. This porn movie is more like a documentary.

Apple picks Kal El (Tommy Pistol) for Shiloh, and the three of them head back to Shiloh's apartment overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge with the trains running loudly nearby. "Hookin' Up" was probably not what Washington Roebling had in mind when he built that bridge, but he certainly would have liked to sink a caisson into Morgan and Mason. I'm just saying.

Morgan and Pistol are charming, and Mason is juicy. In a bonus scene, Pistol and Morgan fuck in a dingy elevator lobby, ready to be discovered, her party makeup running, the picture Norman Rockwell never painted.

"Hookin' Up" is a sexy, fun movie, believable as a snapshot of random trysts in 2006. What doesn;t work is the lighting, which is poor, and the fact that Audio Science is off fighting fires in December. I think he's lying. In fact, I don't think his name is really Audio Science.

· Buy "Hookin' Up" (hookinupthemovie.com)

Of all the second generation alt pinup sites out there, we have a special soft (er, hard?) spot for RazorDolls: maybe it has something to do with that homespun DIY aesthetic that was so much in evidence in the "Suthern Cumfort" DVD they released a few months ago, which makes it a sexy alternative to a lot of the increasingly glossy porn sites we keep coming across. Even if things are a little more slick at RazorDolls these days thanks to a brand spanking new redesign, they haven't forgotten where they came from ... that is, a land full of smokin' hot amateur models as well as some grade-A talent that reads like a who's-who of the alt porn omniverse, including Fleshbot faves Michelle Aston, Riley Mason, Mika Tan, and Sasha Grey. Keeping it real never looked so hot.

· Razordolls (razordolls.com)

Check out what keeps RazorDolls on the cutting edge with our exclusive preview gallery, which you'll find after the jump.

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Previously: DVD: RazorDoll's "Suthern Cumfort", RazorDolls

Like you, I have a little crush on Page Morgan, who is just six months younger than I am. She appears in New York deviant Porno Jim's movie "Hookin' Up," about an underground loft party (see? Crazy Brooklyn kids live in lofts underground!) gone horribly awry, if awry meant smothered in flesh and Ladyparts^TM.

Manhattan's MI-5 will host the pre-release party next Tuesday, May 22. The first 200 attendees will receive a goodie bag (being prepared now) and everyone is encouraged to "wear something sexy," which invalidates the movie's website's unfair attacks of L.A.-based porn—here, we don't need to be told to wear sexy things.

"Hookin' Up" also features loftmadel Riley Mason as well as Zak Sabbath and Tommy Pistol. - GP

· "Hookin' Up" (hookinupthemovie.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive