Fleshbot: straight, pop culture

"The Dirty Facts Of Life": Coming Soon To A Porn Store Near You

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:30:01 EDT

You may have thought we were kidding about wanting to see a porn spoof of "The Facts of Life", but Abigail Productions apparently did not. They've just announced the upcoming release of "The Dirty Facts of Life," due out in mid-November. You fuck the good, you bang the bad, you pound them both and there you have… the dirty facts of life... (getgf.com)

"6 In The Morning" Is Always The Right Time For Babes Rolling Around In Their Underwear

Violet Blue — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:15:27 EDT

Let's face it: as much fun as teasing can be, being told over and over again that you can look but not touch gets pretty frustrating after a while (unless you happen to be into that sort of thing.) But there's a lot to be said for the brand of tease served up by UK techno-pop group Client in their clip for "6 In The Morning", which features just the right amount of fetish-flavored babes rolling around in lacy lingerie and stroking each other to turn an ordinary music video into a softcore drool generator. We're ready for the hardcore extended dance remix version whenever they are.

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· Client: '6 In The Morning' (vimeo.com -thanks Dustin)
· Client (client-online.net)
· Client @ MySpace (myspace.com)

New Bond girl Gemma Arterton (not to to...

Jonnobot — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:15:27 EDT

New Bond girl Gemma Arterton (not to to be confused with fellow Brit babe Gemma Atkinson) might not be a household name yet, but if her previous cinematic experience is any indication of her acting chops she's already going a long way towards drumming up good P.R. for Bond 22, aka "Quantum of Solace". Now if only they'd do something about that title ... (video @ nerve.com; autoplay sound warning)

Jess Origliasso: Still Naked!

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 11:20:29 EDT

There's an alleged new nude photo of the Veronicas' Jess Origliasso floating around the interwebs today—and sadly, we're not getting blamed for releasing it this time! According to Aussie news sources, it surfaced on an image hosting site earlier this week and is "even more explicit" than any in the previous set, presumably because it features both her face and her boobs (along with some suspicious Photoshop filter texture slathered all over it). Frankly, though, we won't be impressed until we see photos of Jess getting gangbanged by twelve midgets while wearing a giant Lamb Chop costume. Anyone know where we can find those? In the meantime, you'll find the current version after the jump.

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· "New nude photo plagues Veronicas' Jess" (news.com.au)

Joanna Angel Does It With Buckcherry

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:25:36 EDT

Apparently, Buckcherry were so excited about having naked girls in their last music video that they couldn't wait to do it again. And this time, they're naked girls that we know! The uncensored version of the "Too Drunk" video features Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel along with Fleshbot Crush Object Bella Vendetta and hotties Dusty, Nicole, and Jessie Lee. Well, parts of them at least (the sexy parts). We might have to start adding Buckcherry to our playlists again if they keep up with this sort of thing.

· Buckcherry Video - World Premiere (videoarticles.playboy.com)

Larry Flynt Fights For Our Right To Fap In Peace

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:40:39 EDT

You've seen "The People Vs. Larry Flynt" countless times and read every issue of Hustler cover to cover. But believe it or not, there's a lot about Larry Flynt that you just don't know—and IFC aims to school you with their tell-all documentary "Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone," which airs tomorrow night. Focusing on some of the less sexy (but still fascinating) aspects of Flynt's life, the movie offers an insider account of Flynt's freedom fighting in the name of free speech with rare footage of the infamous Supreme Court case against Jerry Falwell, Flynt’s prison sentencing for refusing to name his source in the FBI entrapment tapes of John DeLorean, and, best of all, Flynt’s gubernatorial and presidential campaigns. Check out the trailer after the jump.

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· Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone (ifc.com)

This Week In Lad Mag Bashing: Is Lucy Pinder Destroying Our Society?

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:45:35 EDT

A prominent member of Britain's Conservative Party gave a speech earlier today lambasting lad mags for their evil assault on the culture, essentially blaming them for creating a nation of irresponsible deadbeat dads who objectify women and never call their mum. Pretty harsh stuff—but does that make us bad people for posting their photos all the time? We suppose if you buy into the notion that any magazine can make nice boys do bad things (or that the only good family is a two-parent family) then yeah, we're destroying the world. Where have we heard that one before?

The basic complaint, as always, is that these rags create unfair portraits of women that are impossible (and unhealthy) to emulate ... kind of like every other magazine on the planet. They'll all rot your brain in the end, but at least we get to look at Lucy Pinder while it happens.

· "Lad mags 'linked to social ills'" (bbc.co.uk; more @ jezebel.com)

CNN takes a long, hard look at hip hop's...

Jonnobot — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:10:25 EDT

CNN takes a long, hard look at hip hop's video vixens and discusses whether all that bikini-clad booty shaking perpetuates negative stereotypes and sends the wrong message to young Black women. Frankly, we don't see what the problem is—we have absolutely no problem watching any woman shake her parts in our face or pouring milk all over her girlfriend in a bathtub and still being able to respect her afterwards. But maybe that's just us. (video @ cnn.com)

Play Ball: Top Ten Female Athletes In Playboy

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:45:35 EDT

Athletes are, by definition, very fit individuals and fit individuals are, by the definition of British slang, extremely hot. So that's why Playboy has such a good track record when it comes to getting athletes to take their uniforms off for the magazine. Tennis babe Ashley Harkleroad is just the latest in a distinguished line of female athletes to pose naked on their pages and this list rounds up 10 of the best. Actually, it's only ten if you consider pro wrestling chicks to be "athletes." For the benefit of this post—and the benefit of us not getting hit in the head with a steel folding chair—we'll agree that they are.

· "Top 10 Female Athletes Who Posed For Playboy" (uber.com)

Hulu Video Finds Its Niche: Free Boobies For Everyone!

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:54:34 EDT

Do you Hulu? Well, unless you're a fan of old "The A-Team" reruns, you probably don't spend a lot of time on NBC Universal's copyrighted video service. You're probably also not a 13-year-old boy, which it turns out is a big chunk of their audience. Why do you suppose that is? Well, take a quick look at the top 20 videos on the site this month and you'll start to understand more about Hulu and it's users. Almost every clip involves nudity, a sex scene, or gratuitous boobies. Sometimes all three! (Which is not necessarily porn, by the way, even if that does make a good sensational headline.)

It's kind of disappointing, because searching through mainstream movies for even a hint of bare breasts is a time-honored tradition of porn-deprived youths everywhere. But now thanks to the internet, that process has been become streamlined and embeddable. No more renting crappy movies out of the bargain bin or staying up past 3 A.M. to try and catch a glimpse of Melanie Griffith's breasts on Cinemax. Movies like "Animal House" don't even get made anymore, because they have no reason to exist. These kids today just don't know how good they have it

The again, the clip below will save you from spending $9 on "Hitman." So it's not all bad.

· "Why Dudes Love Hulu: Free Porn" (alleyinsider.com)
· Hulu - Most Popular Movie Clips (hulu.com)

"Get Smartass" Brings Back The Boob Tube (At Least) Once More

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:20:15 EDT

As we've noted before, no one finds a good gimmick and drives it until the wheels rust off quite like certain folks in the porn industry. The flavor of the last year or so is obviously the classic TV sitcom spoof, which finds at least two more incarnations coming your way: Ryder Skye and Penny Flame will soon attempt to settle mankind's most enduring mystery (Ginger or Mary Ann?) in "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX," which starts shooting this week—but not before Hustler wraps up "Get Smartass," wherein our brave hero Maxwell Smartass and his busty, er ... trusty sidekick Agent 69 (of course) do battle with the forces of evil. Too bad the latter production wasn't ready in time to beat mainstream Hollywood's "Get Smart" remake to the punch. Maybe when it comes to combing back issues of TV Guide for script ideas, the Porn Valley gang still has a long way to go. (Watch the "Get Smartass" trailer after the jump.)

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· Hustler Wraps 'Get Smartass,' Rolls 'Gilligan' Parody (avn.com)

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Previously: Top Ten TV Sitcom Porn Spoofs We'd Like To See

Top Ten TV Sitcom Porn Spoofs We'd Like To See

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

According to its own press releases, X-Play's recent "Brady Bunch" porn parody "Not The Bradys XXX" is pretty much the most successful porn idea of all time. It's already spawned its own sequel—"Not Bewitched XXX" which comes out in September—and there's even been talk of knockoffs of "The Munsters" and (heaven, forbid) "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood." Also, even though "Bewitched" has yet to hit shelves, the word has just come down that X-Play now has two more spinoffs in the works—XXX versions of "The Love Boat" and "Three's Company." Both rather inspired choices, if you ask us, since to our impressionable young eyes those shows practically were porn anyway.

However, if making hardcore versions of classic TV sitcoms is going to be the hottest new genre in adult entertainment, then we want in on the action. We picked out the ten greatest shows from days gone by that we would like to see turned into a XXX feature. We've even provided a brief description of how we think it could go down, and we're giving you, the reader, a chance to vote on the one you'd like to see made first. If any producers out there want to run with these ideas, feel free to contact our agent to discuss our script supervisor fees.

* * * * *

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· X-Play Announces 'Three's Company,' 'Love Boat' Parodies (avn.com)
· 'Route 66' TV Show Owner Suing Penthouse Over 'Route 66' Video (xbiz.com)

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Previously: DVD Review: "Not The Bradys XXX", Preview: Teagan Presley In "Not Bewitched XXX"

The Sexiest "Toe Jam" You Will Ever See

Jonnobot — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:50:47 EDT

Like you, we find few things more frustrating than those heavy black censorship bars more prudish media outlets than ours utilize to obscure even the merest hint of boob, pube, or peen. And like (most of) you, we find few things more sexually unappetizing than toe jam. Combine the two, however, and you have few things more delightful than this cheeky new video by Brighton Port Authority, a collaboration between Fat Boy Slim, David Byrne and Dizzee Rascal. Funny how these things work out, isn't it? (And if by chance you were bought here via a Google search for "toe jam porn" ... well, we guess we'll do our best to find you some of that too sometime. We aim to please everyone around here.)

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THE BPA 'TOE JAM' FEAT. DAVID BYRNE & DIZZEE RASCAL

· Brighton Port Authority - Toe Jam (vids.myspace.com - thx Carlos)

Max "Bunny" Sparber is a man on a mission:...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:27:18 EDT

Max "Bunny" Sparber is a man on a mission: for the next year, he'll be writing one porn script every week, based on the most popular movie from the previous weekend. With "Iron Dong" and "Sex and the Titty" already under his belt, who knows what literary and artistic heights he'll ascend to next? (Though somehow we're thinking his adaptations of "Hancock", "Gonzo", and "American Teen" this summer are sort of going to write themselves.) (sparberfans.blogspot.com)

Watching good sex in a movie is good, but...

Jonnobot — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:55:09 EDT

Watching good sex in a movie is good, but watching bad sex in a movie can be really, really bad. Perversely, however, watching The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema as chosen by the experts at IFC.com and Nerve can be pretty good too ... unless you try to watch them all at the same time, in which case you'll probably just get a headache. (nerve.com)

"Sex And The City": The Fleshbot Post

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:40:12 EDT

Well, we did it! Despite months of hype, Google News alerts, blocked-off Manhattan streets, annoying trend pieces in the newspaper and approximately 6,000 posts on our various sibling websites, we managed to get though the entire build up to the Greatest Chick Flick Of Our Generation without writing one single post about it. Until now.

Actually, we'd be remiss if we didn't at least mention any new movie that had the word "sex" in the title. And despite trying to resist its relentless marketing machine, even the non-female, non-gay members of Team Fleshbot are fans of the show. It may or may not have fundamentally changed either sex or this particular city, but its influence on pop culture cannot be ignored. So we submit this brief tribute to Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda and all the many, many, many men who they encountered over the years.

. . .

To refresh your memory, here's what passed for sex on "Sex And the City":

· Kim Cattrall (metacafe.com)

· Cynthia Nixon (metacafe.com)

· Kristin Davis (YouTube)

· Sarah Jessica Parker (YouTube)

. . .

And lest we forget:

· Not Kristin Davis Sex Tape

· "Sex In The CIty"-inspired porn: "Hot Sex In The City", "Sex In The Butt In The City", "Fat Sex In The City" (Adult DVD Empire)

· Sarah Jessica Porkher Love Doll (gamelink.com)

· The Mr. Big Rabbit Vibrator (lovehoney.co.uk)

· See also: our very first (and only) post about the show when it was still on the air!

Sex And Videogames: An (Even Briefer!) History

Jonnobot — Tue, 27 May 2008 12:50:36 EDT

Anyone who's spent any amount of time reading Fleshbot over the years knows that the relationship between sex and videogames has always occupied a special place in our, uh, hearts (and we totally have the callouses on our thumbs to prove it!) If you want to school yourself on the illustrious (and not-so-illustrious) history of pixelated T&A and don't feel like browsing our entire archives, however, you could do a lot worse than watch this amusing and informative semi-animated documentary which packs a surprising amount of material into its nine minutes, and makes a strong case for exploring and celebrating sexuality in the development of gaming as an art form. (OK, so there's not much by way of actual pixelated T&A; afraid you'll have to dip into our archives for that after all.)

· Video Games and Sex (YouTube, via rockpapershotgun.com)

Faux-Lesbian Russian Pop Star Update: t.A.T.u. Uncensored

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 19 May 2008 13:52:48 EDT

Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova may be the most popular singing duo that no one has ever heard sing: that's because when t.A.T.u performs, no one is really there to listen to the music. But by filling their stage act and music videos with unrepentant sexual teasing, they've made quite a name for themselves. We first saw the video for their single "White Robe" a few months and were naturally intrigued by the communist-era women-behind-bars imagery, but found it a little ... lacking. Until this weekend, when our inbox flooded with helpful tipsters pointing us to the uncensored version, which despite the gratuitous boobage has miraculously managed to stay up on YouTube for over a month. The nudity may be brief, but it's still glorious and it's worth sticking around for the surprise twist ending. (Even if the whole thing makes no actual sense. You can check out the English language version too and see if that helps.)

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· t.A.T.u. - White Robe (Official English Version) (YouTube)
· t.A.T.u. - Белый Плащик (White Robe) Uncensored (YouTube)

We were okay with "Not The Bradys XXX,"...

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 16 May 2008 11:10:47 EDT

We were okay with "Not The Bradys XXX," and even "This Ain't The Munsters XXX" — but srsly, "Not Mr. Rogers XXX Neighborhood"? Every time you think there are no more lines to be crossed, porn finds a way. (avn.com)

Coming on the heels of "Not The Bradys XXX"...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:30:13 EDT

Coming on the heels of "Not The Bradys XXX" and "Not Bewitched XXX": "This Ain't The Munsters XXX." Herman and Lily get it on in a cemetery, Eddie loses his virginity to two girls ... and we don't even want to know what happens with Grandpa Munster. Still, you totally saw this coming, so don't look so surprised. (pr-inside.com)