Fleshbot: straight, pirates

Pirate Vs. Nurse Vs. Cheerleader: Jesse Jane Reveals Her Loyalties

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:30:01 EST

Forget pirate vs. robot or zombie vs. monkey or whatever battle the kids are into these days. The real action is pirates vs. nurses vs. cheerleaders—and we had Jesse Jane reveal where her loyalties lie.

(Oh, and the best part? In this battle, everybody takes off their clothes.)

· Jesse Jane (jessejane.com)
· Edited by Mike Byhoff

Pirates 2: Coming Soon To A College Near You

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:30:10 EST

"Pirates 2" isn't just the most important porn ever made; it's also about to become required viewing for college students across the country. Okay, we're exaggerating a little—but it was just screened at UCLA, with Sasha Grey, Evan Stone, director Joone, and Digital Playground's Samantha Lewis on hand for a panel discussion. Oh, to be in college again! (xbiz.com)

More "Pirates" Press Means More Naked Stoya

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:30:00 EST

You may have thought that the arrival of cold weather might put a damper on the "Pirates II" press (pirates hate the cold weather, right?)—but that would have been foolish of you. Remember, the "Pirates" team is on a world tour... and in many places in the world, it's still very, very warm. Regardless, we can't complain too much about the neverending hype that is the "Pirates" franchise: after all, more "Pirates" marketing means more pictures of Jesse Jane and Stoya, naked and touching each other—like on the latest cover of Cheri. See? Everybody wins!

Sexy Pirates: Suddenly They're Everywhere

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 10:30:00 EST

It seems someone over at Agent Provocateur is a big fan of Digital Playground. In a follow up to their Season of the Witch campaign, they now give us Pirate Provocateur. Just about the only thing that could make this better is if everyone was getting naked and making out with each other—you know, like in that other pirates thing we just saw. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if they threw in more special effects. And, um, Sasha Grey and (newly minted Supreme Commandress!) Stoya, too. (View the collection after the jump.)

. . .

· Agent Provocateur (agentprovocateur.com)

Teagan Presley Brings New Life (And Boobs) To Video Reviews

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:30:00 EDT

There are a lot of sites out there that review porn movies. There are fewer sites that offer video reviews of porn movies. And there are even fewer sites that showcase videos of Teagan Presley reviewing a porno movie while getting naked and masturbating. In fact, we're pretty sure that AdultBluReview is the only site we know of that fits into that last category. After the jump, get a sneak peak of Teagan's review of (of course) "Pirates 2." It may not be quite the same as actually watching "Pirates 2"—but we think it's pretty close.

. . .

· AdultBluReview.com (adultblureview.com)

"Pirates II" Cast Sails The Seven Seas

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:30:00 EDT

Did you think the "Pirates II" hype was going to die down just because the movie premiered? Well, that was silly of you. The cast of the film has set off on their global tour, sailing into such porn friendly ports as Amsterdam, Berlin, Cannes, and Melbourne. By the time they get back, they should all be revved up and ready to start hyping "Pirates III." (xbiz.com)

Happy Fuck Like A Pirate Day: "Surrender The Booty 3"

DCypher — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:20:40 EDT

In honor of this most geekiest of interweb holidays, we thought we'd celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day in our own special way by featuring the just-released third installment of Metro's soon-to-be-venerable "Surrender The Booty" series. So what if it's less a knowing nod towards a peculiar buccaneer-obsessed online subculture than director Anton Slayer's semi-blatant ~~ripoff~~ homage to the porn juggernaut that is Digital Playground's "Pirates" phenomenon? We still get to see Fleshbot Crush Object™ Gina Lynn getting boinked while wearing a tricorn hat and striped leggings—and if that's not worth an extra-hearty "Yarrrr!", we don't know what is. (And let's not forget that "Pirates" is itself a pornic riff on a wildly successful Disney franchise, so we shouldn't knock Slayer too much for catering to what seems to be a univeral demand for watching people in eyepatches run around with parrots perched on their shoulders.)

In "Surrender The Booty 3", Gina Lynn plays a Sexy Pirate Queen (is there any other kind?) who gets involved with some sort of gangplanlk-planking imbroglio withfledgling Fleshbot Crush Object™Shawna Lenee; the two of them are joined by a crew of erstwhile retired starlets including Dani Woodword, Cherokee, Bella Star, and Celeste Star, all of whom work hard to warm up your shivering timber.

After perusing this preview gallery, we have to say that all thoughts of pirates and the Seven Seas and potentially irritatingly overplayed web memes couldn't have been further from our minds. It’s just great to see Shawna Lenee and Gina Lynn in a porn movie together—whether they happen to be wearing striped stockings or not.

Metro Interactive will release "Surrender The Booty 3" this week.

• "Surrender The Booty 3" (DVD info @ metrointeractive.com)

Flesh Flicks: Unburied Treasure

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:06:16 EST

Speaking of "Pirates" and its long-belated sequel, maybe now would be a good time to revisit that earlier piece of cinematic porn history? No, not the Jesse Jane/Carmen Luvana smut vehicle from 2005, but this lesser-known French version from ... who knows when? There's no way to tell if this predates "Pirates" or even "Pirates of the Carribbean"—the trilogy or the theme park ride—but it's obvious that no matter what country or era your filth comes from, everybody loves a good swashbuckling.

. . .

· "PIrates parody (Megarotic)

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Previously: "Pirates II" and Bella, Too, Flesh Flicks Archives

"Pirates II" and Bella, Too

Gram Ponante — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 12:15:54 EST

"Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" is in production, and it will feature a crossover from Belladonna, which in porn terms is like Captain Kirk visiting "The Love Boat" and nailing Julie. In terms of sales, "Pirates" is the "Hotel California" of porn movies. Since we first saw a hasty trailer for the sequel in January 2007 and it hasn't actually started shooting until this month, we'll try to protect our readers' tender expectations as much as we can. But apparently Belladonna and Jesse Jane have a pas de deux and, according to Belladonna, "I have only two days left to learn to swordfight."

· Belladonna (enterbelladonna.com)
· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Now we finally have a reason to dust off...

Violet Blue — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:05:53 EST

Now we finally have a reason to dust off that peg leg: some scallywag has declared November 23rd Fuck Like a Pirate Day. We only ask that ye share the booty—mark your calendars (and your wenches)! (fucklikeapirateday.com)

Wet Spots: "Pirates" Will Steal Anything

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 May 2007 18:34:57 EDT

· You don't think Digital Playground would use the buzz around "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" to promote their own "Pirates" sequel do you? Such crass commercialism has no place in Hollywood! (adweek.blogs.com)

· How do you deal with cleavage when "American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller"? Sounds like the problem is taking care of itself. (abcnews.go.com)

· In Germany, on the other hand, devotion to boobs (or addiction to plastic surgery) could cost you your job. Unless your job is like "boob model" or something. (int.iol.co.za)

· She's not a pornstar, but every wants to snog with the Snorg Tees Girl, right? (Jalopnik)

· Australians are worried about the "pornification" of their culture. Hey, it already happened to us Yanks, and look how well that turned out! (xbiz.com)

· Your challenge: Ignore a fabulous pair of boobs hovering over you, or get a pie the face. Welcome to Japanese TV! (YouTube, via tvinjapan.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Keira Knightley Goes Hardcore (Sorta)

Fleshbot — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:15:14 EDT

Of the dozens of special features that have helped make Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" DVD one of the best selling titles of the past year, footage of a hardcore threeway starring Keira Knightley getting DP'd by Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom isn't one of them. Which may be why opportunistic online comic porn outfit Sinful Comics is creating such a splash with a series of panels depicting all the yo-ho-'ho action you didn't get to see—and why The Sun is claiming that an "outraged" Disney is considering legal action against the company, though it's not clear whether that's because the strip shows the "Pirates" cast demonstrating the real way to plunder hidden treasure or whether it's because the crudely drawn art isn't quite up to Disney's CG standards. (Then again, it's also unclear whether The Mouse even knows they exist or could be bothered to shut them down.) Still, if you want to see a rather generous "re-interpretation" of Keira's chest while she indulges in some good old-fashion tentacle porn (it always comes back to that, doesn't it?), this is about as close as you're going to get.

· Sinful Comics: "Pirates of the Carribbean" Porn Comics 1, 2, 3, 4 (freeadultarchives2.com)
· "Keira Knightley is getting banged at trasures (sic) island." (freesinfulcomics.net)
· "Keira's Comic Porn Shocker" (thesun.co.uk)