We couldn't be happier with the results—well, short of being invited into the juicy action. "Wife Switch 8" features ten couples who are all (ahem) totally brand new to the art of swapping, trying out the swinger thing for the very first time! Okay, we don't buy it either, but we're willing to go along for the ride. That's why it's called suspension of disbelief, right?

The very first scene brought memories flooding back to us. Alex Sanders, Mark Zane, Monica Mayhem, and long lost Penny Flame (of VH1 fame) all get crazy in a four way pile up that is as impressive as it is mesmerizing to watch. Our favorite new Huffington Post blogger shines like a diamond as the meat to this crazy sex sandwich (not to mention the instigator) chowing down on Monica Mayhem's juice box before pairing off with her new lover's boyfriend. The scene delivers a punch, with Mark Zane keeping the heat on.

The rest of the movie, including the scenes with Alex Star, Jay Lassiter, Mackenzie Star, Velicity Von, Anthony Rosano, Justin Magnum, Kayla Carrera, Sara Jessie, Jessica Bangkok, Joey Brass, Kylee Reese, and Scott Lyons, are just as interesting to watch. But the second scene of the show caught our attention just a little more—by about four extra inches in length and three extra inches around.

Claire Dames, Friday, Lee Stone, and the legendary Sledge Hammer put on a show that we could not look away from. Seriously, it was like mixing porn with Cirque De Soleil, minus the clowns and the tight wire. The scene featured acrobatics, heavy lifting, contortionists, sword swallowing, partner exchanging, and death defying acts of cunt stuffing! C'est tres magnifique!

"Wife Switch 8" releases this week from Pink Visual and Blue Moon Productions. Check out this mega ultra super gallery! It's swaptastic!

Although the other patients are certainly dealing with their own anxieties and traumas, the majority of the episode focused on the tantrums thrown by the former Miss Teen USA (and boring "sex tape" star), Kari Ann Peniche. On a separate note, does anyone else think that Dr. Drew looks a bit like one of those Easter Island moai? With all due respect, of course.

· Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew | Ep. 102 (vh1.com)


* * * * *

Previously: Welcome To "Sex Rehab," Penny Flame

When we first learned that Crush Object Penny Flame had checked into Dr. Drew's "Sex Rehab," we were stunned—and when she retired from porn not long after, we didn't know what to think.

We've been wondering for months what happened to Penny in that house—and now that "Sex Rehab" is finally on the air, we may be able to figure it out (or at least convince ourselves that we have, anyway). Last night, Penny checked in—and so far, we haven't seen any evidence of shock treatment or brainwashing seminars. But Dr. Drew...we've got our eyes on you....

· "Sex Rehab" (vh1.com)

We took a few minutes to catch up with Penny—who, yes, really is retired for really real—and found out a little bit about what she's been up to since leaving the adult industry. Interview above.

(And we suspect she'll also always be on Sochee Mala's list of favorite co-stars. Call it a hunch.)

· Buy "Head of Household" (gamelink.com)

Yes, it's an eduporn about ladies strapping it on and getting their boys to bend over; and as you might expect, we can't wait to see it. We've got our fingers crossed that this release might inspire some other pegging-themed pornos... but, uh, we're not holding our breath.

· "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men" (vividvideo.com)

It remains to be seen whether Red Light District can carry off a porn parody with the style and grace of, say, X-Play or new Sensations—but even if the film's a totally flop, we're glad to see Mary Carey back in action again (we missed you, Mary!).

(Though she might want to steer away from mocking Dr. Drew in the future. Not that we're superstitious or anything, but it seems rather coincidental that Penny Flame starred in this feature...and then signed up for "Celebrity Rehab" and retired from performing in porn. Clearly, the man has some sort of supernatural powers.)

· Mary Carey Pokes Fun at VH1 in 'Celebrity Pornhab With Dr. Screw' (avn.com)
· Dr. Drew Gets Screwed in 'Celebrity Pornhab' (tmz.com)
· Thumbnail via KellyFind (kellyfind.com)

...as in, on the set of Axel Braun's epic Hustler release "This Ain't Happy Days XXX," released just last week. Seriously Flame, you will be missed. No one does it better than you, baby. We wish you well at whatever you choose to do—but you will always be our favorite li'l stoner pornstar.

A huge fan of the show, even as a young lad growing up in Italy, Braun wrote the masterpiece and directed it himself, centering the plot around Richie and the gang trying to learn from Fonzie the right stuff to score with the poodle skirts. Honestly, we never expected to see anyone other than Sam the Butcher giving Alice the meat, but Axel's imagination is as fertile as Octomom's womb.

"This Ain't Happy Days XXX" is out right now. It features an all-star cast, including Tori Black, Penny Flame, Missy Stone, Alan Stafford, Codi Carmichael, Riley Evans, Kris Slater, Jack Lawerence, Anthony Rosano, James Bartholet, Raquel Devine and the ever-cool stud Tommy Gunn as The Fonz. Be sure to pick up a copy—it's what The Fonz would want.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

We can't say that this comes as a surprise. Back in February, Penny was blogging about the shortage of work in Porn Valley, a difficult situation that had caused her to take a new job as cam site MetroBabes's Studio Manager. And then there was the announcement a few weeks ago that she'd be appearing on VH1's "Celebrity Rehab," to work through sex addiction issues with Dr. Drew. But it was only this weekend, upon discovering her new blog, Becoming Jennie, that we really, truly had to accept that Penny had left the adult industry for real.

Our feelings on the matter are perhaps best summed up by commenter hodayathink, who sent us the link to Penny's new blog: "I'm probably happy for her and sad for myself." It's hard for us to say goodbye to someone who gave us so much—but at the same time, we're happy to know that she's taking care of herself, and doing the things she needs to be happy and healthy.

In commemoration of her eight years of service, we'd like to look back on a few of our favorite Penny Flame moments. Join us, won't you, for a walk down memory lane:

Flesh Flicks: Happy Birthday From Penny Flame
Keeping The "Chemistry" Alive: The Orgy Edition
Penny Flame Offers Handy Advice In Her "Expert Guide"
Our Love For Penny Flame Burns Ever Brighter
Crushed Out: Fleshbot's Top Ten Crush Objects Of 2008
Video: Penny Flame Puts On A Show
Video: Penny Fans The Flames Of Our Crush
"Girls Girls Girls 2": So Many Girls, So Little Time
Heavy Are The Balls That Carry The Load In "King Of Coochie 2"
"Not Three's Company XXX": Pure Parody Gold
Penny Flame Roughs Us Up With Her "Expert Guide To Rough Sex"

· Becoming Jennie (becomingjennie.com)
· And finally……a new post. (myhotmess.com)
· Thumbnail via Inside Twistys (insidetwistys.com)

*****

Previously: Penny Flame, Celebrity Sex Addict?

More's the pity, really; we have a feeling we could have had a lot of fun. At the very least, we could have taught them our super secret extra special popcorn recipe (the secret ingredient is salt)—cause, you know, nothing goes with deepthroating and girl on girl like popcorn, right?

· Buy "Girlfriends With Benefits" (gamelink.com)

The show started shooting last week—and rehabbers include former Playmate (and Colin Farrell sex tape co-star) Nicole Narain, adult performer Kendra Jade, former Miss United States Teen/Playboy model Kari Ann Peniche, gay film director/producer/writer/art director Duncan Roy, actress/model Amber Smith, and—gasp!—Fleshbot Crush Object Penny Flame.

We must admit, we're still reeling from the shock of seeing our beloved Penny in the list of celebrity sex addicts (for obvious reasons, we should think); but we sincerely hope that Dr. Drew and his crew are able to help Penny and her co-stars get through their troubles and live happier, healthier lives—and that the mainstream exposure helps the rest of the world fall in love with the girl we're proud to call a bonafide Crush Object.

[P.S. Dr. Drew, don't cure her too much, okay?]

· Celebrity Sex Addicts Get a Helping Hand (tmz.com)
· Thumbnail star: Penny Flame (penthouse.com, via Ask Jolene)

Take a peek into the "Chemistry" house, where Sinnamon Love and Adrianna Nicole lure Tyler Knight into the hot tub (of sin!), while Penny Flame lustfully looks on (camera in hand, natch). We're pretty sure this goes without saying... but man, "The Real World" has nothing on this.

· Buy "Chemistry Vol. 4" (gamelink.com)
· Vivid (vivid.com)

*****

Previously: Keeping The "Chemistry" Alive: The Orgy Edition

Throat: A Cautionary Tale

Studio: Vivid
Director: Paul Thomas
Cast: Sasha Grey, Penny Flame, Tom Byron, Evan Stone, Aliana Love, Trent Tesoro, Herschel Savage, Lee Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

"I didn't mean for this to happen," intones Julie (Sasha Grey), commenting on her (naked, of course - are you kidding?) corpse a la "Sunset Boulevard" via its Porn Valley counterpart, Sherman Way. "Things just got out of hand."

Out of hand and into throat, you mean. Thus begins "Throat: A Cautionary Tale," Vivid's biggest movie this year, an ambitious project that has already had a six-episode paid infomercial playing on Showtime to support it.

Veteran porn scribe Raven Touchstone's script is the best this year, convincingly effecting a B story of the cops (Tom Byron and train wreck Penny Flame) tracking down Julie's killer as well as presenting several possible culprits. And, in a movie that is dark but not too dark for its own good, Touchstone gives a ditzy stripper the line "I heard he fucked an elephant and made it scream."

That Grey - and not a Vivid contract girl - leads the cast is not surprising, considering director Paul ("PT") Thomas' other big movie this year, "Faithless," starring Miss America-turned-soap opera actress-turned-full-throated cougar harridan Kelli McCarty.

"Throat" is also a great example of a post-modern porn movie. At two hours it is a throwback to features of yore, but it also takes as its source material "Deep Throat," porn's most famous film and a cultural phenomenon that even found its way into the Watergate scandal.

"What's a 'Deep Throat'?" asks Julie, who lets us know that her "pussy was her enemy" and her "clit like a wart."

Julie is being schooled by Lane (Aliana Love), a fellow stripper at the peep show at which Julie has been forced to work to pay for college. The movie takes its time breaking down Julie's stripperesque misanthropy ("I was sickened by their pathetic neediness," she says. (You and me both, sister!) "But I felt sorry for them, too. If they had someone to love them, they wouldn't be here") and provides a few indulgences not often thrown to porn consumers: a slow burn.

Julie, you see, cannot experience pleasure in her vagina. At first we think it's just because her loser trust-fund boyfriend Eddie (Trent Tesoro) only cares about himself. This is partly true. But the real reason is that Julie's functioning clitoris is in her throat. Once Lane shows Julie how to "deep throat" a dildo (if the characters Lane and Julie know about Linda Lovelace and the origin of that term, they never let on), Julie is hooked on the feeling of finally, finally getting the stimulation she needs.

But even as Eddie becomes the lucky beneficiary of Julie's newfound throat-acumen, he becomes enraged by the thought of how she might have developed it. He gets over it and, like Evan Stone's mercenary gentlemen's club manager later in the movie, pimps her out for cash.

Where "Throat" differs from other porn versions of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams story is the time it takes to set up Julie's betrayals. Before these guys reveal themselves for the sleazebags they are, Julie trusts them.

Similarly does Joe (Tom Byron) trust his partner Byrd (Penny Flame). As you can imagine, Byrd gets drawn in to the sex club scene while investigating the death of Julie, but Byrd is given even more of a past: she's a pill popper and drunk! Not only that, she trades on her shame. In another of "Throat"'s memorable lines she says, "Punish me. I deserve it. I'm no good. Punish me."

The movie gives the audience so much credit throughout that its occasional porny missteps - at the beginning and end - are jarring. Do we really need to see a textbook overlay of the female reproductive system above Grey's pleasing flesh-and-blood parts? Isn't this explained elsewhere? What kind of coroner leaves a patient lying naked and uncovered on a gurney after declaring that her dead (and hot!) little throat "will make history"? Do we need to see what we are already pretty sure is her famous vagina labeled "Vagina"? Perhaps so. Like the coroner is the first to find - long after the detectives are through with her - the condom sticking half out of that "Vagina," maybe the filmmakers believe the audience is likely to miss something.

Similarly, for someone who has clearly stated that she only gets off with her throat, Julie sure spends a lot of time post-epiphany getting it everywhere else. (I'm only complaining about this as a writer, you understand.)

The performances of Grey and Flame are right on the money. The sex is integral to both their stories, and everything their characters say within that context makes sense, and is delivered more convincingly than anything else. We cannot help infer the plight of the millennial 21-year-old porn star Sasha Grey in Julie's "I'm a person!" speech, and we are all too familiar with the upside of bad behavior: sometimes Penny Flame just wants to be punished.

But the deftest touch in "Throat: A Cautionary Tale" comes from Herschel Savage, who plays a Hasid with a crush. He delivers a line from the New Testament (go figure) that is as appropriate to porn as, I don't know, using the word "Children" (as in "Not Married with...XXX") wasn't.

But you owe it to yourself to see the movie. Even if you are no good and need to be punished.

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "Throat: A Cautionary Tale" (gamelink.com)

In fact, we directly credit the time we spent watching this exact sitcom—which made it's debut on ABC March 1st 1977, dead in the heart of our developmental years—as being the reason we ended up choosing this very career path. I am Jack's endless string of sexual innuendo.

Thus, when XBIZ's Director of the Year Will Ryder, creator of "Not the Brady's XXX," came to us and asked what we thought about him making "Not Three's Company XXX," and casting it chock full of cock all-stars like Brynn Tyler, Penny Flame, Nina Hartley, Jenny Hendrix, Madison Scott, Sienna West, Alyssa Hall, and Roxy Jezel pitted against cock masters Van Damage, Tommy Gunn, Dino Bravo, Scott Lyons and last, but not least, the original God of Fuck Ron Jeremy, we thoroughly approved.

Okay, maybe he didn't consult with us "per se," but he did invite us to the set, which is just as good. It was there that we learned that this sexy homage to our favorite trio involves Jack losing his job, Janet taking a night job, and the Ropers assuming she is now a hooker. Of course, unlike the sitcom, we actually get to see everyone screw their hearts out—hooray!

Brynn Tyler takes an amazing fuck session in her tight pink box from Eric Swiss. Pouting beauty and Hello Kitty addict Jenny Hendrix looks incredible getting drilled by skinny Lyons, and sexy Penny Flame takes a crack at Roxy Jezel's dusky crack. Legendary performer Nina Hartley puts her cock sucking skills to the test again, and we love seeing Tommy Gunn go "full Guido" with the hair, gold chain, and machisimo—even if every Italian knows that you never go "full Guido."

Still, in the end it's Van Damage who steals the show, nailing white hot Madison Scott and Alyssa Hall at the same time. We're big enough to admit we're more than a bit jealous: pint sized sexual powerhouse Madison Scott is well on her way to becoming Performer of the Year, and definitely a full fledged Fleshbot Crush Object. We heart her. Big time.

"Not Three's Company XXX" arrives in stores this week, just 32 years and a few days after the original show aired. Enjoy this exclusive extended preview set.

· "Not Three's Company XXX"· Sitcums (sitcums.com)

Pink, purple, green, and blue: it may not be as nature intended, but it's altogether delightful as far as we're concerned. To all the girls who aren't afraid to dye, we salute you. In the dirtiest way possible.

. . .

Penny Flame (nsgalleries.com)

Meow (suicidegirls.com)

Sara X (godsgirls.com)

Stoya

April Flores

Jessie Lee (burningangel.com)

Bunny (pimproll.com)

Nina Terror (altporn.net)

Mitsuko (suicidegirls.com)

Skin (burningangel.com)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

For those who don't remember, the old saying "heavy is the head that wears the crown" refers to the weight of responsibility that encumbers the leader of a people (not the size or density of the ruler's brain or skull). The maxim suggests that—despite the appearance of a wealthy life of privilege insulating the rulers from the troubles of the common people—being in charge of everything is, in fact, a terribly taxing job that requires the steely determination only true greatness affords.

Extrapolating that to self-proclaimed "King of Coochie" Tom Byron, it would loosely translate to meaning that although it may appear he is simply living an extraordinarily spoiled life—being handsomely paid to nail ineffably beautiful girls like Penny Flame and curvy blond goddess Alexis Texas—in reality, Byron was called to live this life of cock service, possessed as he undoubtedly is of a God given supernatural ability to shoulder the burden of such Sisyphean tasks as satisfying these beautiful and insatiable seductresses.

It ain't easy to please mercurial and wanton Penny Flame. Trust usm we know how hard that must be. Our hearts go out to you, buddy. (And if you ever need a stand in, just while you catch your breath, be sure to let us know. We're there for you.)

Still, at the end of the day we can't help but agree with Mel Brooks's assessment—it's good to be the King. Tom, for one, seems to be loving it.

"King of Coochie 2" comes out next week. Enjoy our sneak peek, and your weekend. You may go now.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)

Into the Sunset

Studio: Sol Y Mar
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Sunset Thomas, Ron Jeremy, Penny Flame, Brooke Banner, Mia Presley, Lexi Love, Roma, Nick Manning, Mikey Butders, Marco Banderas, Jay Lassiter, Chris Bellis

Review by: Gram Ponante

So often porn stars shoot their final movie without knowing they're doing it, because few achieve the kind of fame Sunset Thomas has. But Thomas, long associated with both VCA Pictures and the Moonlite Bunnyranch, disappears into the sunset as one lucky fan gets to disappear into her.

But the problem is an existential one: If a man does not come on his partner's face and/or tits and/or hair and/or belly and/or ass, has Porn happened?

Sunset Thomas began her porn career in 1991 and retired in 2004 after appearing in more than 300 movies, including "Latex" and "Misty Beethoven." "Into the Sunset" (hard to believe anyone had the restraint to not use that title until now) is a pleasantly staged mockumentary of Thomas' quest for "not a porn guy - the perfect guy" with whom to shoot her final - and she means it this time - movie.

At first the movie plays like a 90's porno, heavy on the voiceovers and phone-sex modulation, the rhinestone glamor, and the evocation of a time when porn stars were fewer and their movies bigger events.

After a signing at Hustler Hollywood on the Sunset Strip in which she lets a starstruck fan squeeze her boobs, a melancholy Thomas is chauffered back to her home by an amiable middle-aged fan, Tony.

"Please make another movie, Miss Thomas," Tony pleads from the driver's seat of the limo. Unfortunately, we never see him again.

Back at home, Thomas reflects on a life well-rode, and can't help but masturbate. I masturbate, too, when I think of my multiple Science Fair victories. But Thomas has an epiphany as she climaxes: she needs to make one more movie.

For some reason she imparts this news to Penny Flame, Mia Presley, and Brooke Banner, who happen to be lounging in her home. "Call Larry Flynt," she commands them. "Let him know about this."

She tells the girls that they will help her find her final film fling, and the second act of the movie consists of Thomas checking in on the girls as they fuck the prospects.

But just as reality television has gobbled up the work of real actors, porn professional Nick Manning is incensed that Thomas is picking her final stud from the hoi polloi. He stalks over to her house but is intercepted by the pardine Brooke Banner, in whom seconds are never sloppy. Still, when Manning drops loads he bellows "Where's Sunset?"

When her fan is chosen (he's the guy from the signing), Ron Jeremy is employed to give him a couple of tips, which include "Forget everybody else in the room."

As the movie progresses, it seems to lose focus and become less special; it loses its quirky quality. This is not helped by the poor fan, who confesses that the job is harder than it looks (and all that implies).

Yes, I watched the final scene twice and I don't think our friend was able to climax. He was left to eat out Thomas while Marco Banderas fucked her.

If you can forget that the very object of the film was not consummated in a pornic sense, "Into the Sunset" is a terrific movie.

So what do we learn from this?

That porn is a real job that shouldn't be entrusted to amateurs. And know what else? This one doesn't have to count as Sunset Thomas' last movie. In fact, it's almost as if Thomas regained her virginity.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Into the Sunset" (hustlerworld.com)

Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Handjobs for Men & Women

Studio: Vivid
Cast: Penny Flame, Harmony, Justice Young, Anthony Rosano

Review by: Gram Ponante

Ms. Flame proves an excellent teacher in "Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Handjobs for Men & Women," which delivers the sexy without skimping on the science.

Appearing before a multi-ethnic and multigenerational classroom, Flame whips out the visual aids, both tasteful black-and-white drawings and flesh-and-blood subjects Harmony and Justice Young, to demonstrate that handjobs are more than masturbation plus distance.

Flame emphasizes lube, hand hygiene, and taking it slow (but firm) with guest Harmony, who allows Flame to squeeze her labia together for the hushed onlookers ("Don't go straight for the clit before it's warmed up," Flame tells you sternly). But tragedy strikes when Justice Young appears for the male component, because Flame only gets him hard - she doesn't allow a release. That, my friends, is not Justice.

And this is the only drawback to the movie. The 30-minute classroom portion is filmed and edited like an infomercial for softcore late-night cable, with all the applause sound effects, approving audience shots, cheesy voiceover, and canned music. The artifice threatens to overwhelm the naturally compelling Flame and make her seem like more of a prop, when in fact her teaching style - when she's allowed to do it - is helpful and personable.

The infomercial gives way to several annotated hardcore scenes, including one with Flame and Anthony Rosano, that fill out the DVD.

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Hand Jobs" (gamelink.com)

Before Sunset Thomas, pornstars didn't work at the Bunny Ranch. The original contract hopping star burned through companies without a care; and then threw it all away to flat back it for horny truckers, while home viewers remained spellbound watching via Showtime. Despite all she's done, we can't say that we will miss her. Sadly, her best work was recorded years ago when she was with VCA—and since then she's been more of an ambassador for hooking than anything else.

Marsellus Wallace said it best in Pulp Fiction: pornstars are a lot like fighters, thinking that their asses are like a fine wine that will age to perfection over time—when in actuality, they won't. Watching uber pornstar and sexual pioneer Sunset Thomas hang in there over the years has offered us ample proof. True, there are some who say that fans want to see their favorite girls grow into women, as part of the sexual progression, but—with some notable exceptions like Nina Hartley and Kylie Ireland—largely we disagree.

When yesterday's stars come knocking during tough economic times (cough! cough! Tabitha Stevens!), we have to remind them what Jerry McGuire taught us: it ain't "showfriends," it's "show business." (And then we politely text them Tom Byron's home phone number.)

It's not all a loss: Hustler threw in some hotties to keep this thing from becoming a novelty purchase for office parties, including Penny Flame, bitchy Brooke, Lexi, and others. Don't be scared.

"Into The Sunset" releases today from Hustler. So long, Sunset and thanks for your niece!

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

If the trailer—and the chance to see Joanna Angel, Regan Reese, Sasha Grey, Alexis Texas, Kimberly Kane, Misti Dawn, Draven, Allister, Asphyxia, Penny Flame, and Candace St. John all together in one hot compilation—wasn't enough to sway you, we have something that should definitely do the trick. Our fabulous Supreme Commandress has sent us some preview pix—chock full of eighties goodness and girl on girl action—to titillate and tempt you.

Now, who's ready to rock?

· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)