What could possibly have caused such a catastrophe? Well, this year you can place the blame squarely on the nudists. In what was supposed to be a sexy act of synergy, the Lingerie Bowl was scheduled to be held at Tampa's Caliente Spa & Resort, a luxurious clothing-optional getaway. And—in a totally unforeseen act of drama—there was some conflict between the lingerie-clad and the clothing-optional. Lingerie Bowl officials wanted to keep several areas of the resort (including the nightclub) clothing-mandatory, the powers that be at Caliente felt that that much clothing infringed upon their guests' rights (and enjoyment of nudity).

So this year, when you're stuck watching the Puppy Bowl, just remember: you can blame it all on boobs.

· Caliente Too Nude For Lingerie Bowl; Event Cancelled (suncoastpasco.tbo.com)

. . .

· The Sandstone Retreat (from VH1 Rock Doc: Sex: The Revolution) (veoh.com)
· VH1 Rock Docs: Sex: The Revolution (rockdocs.vh1.com)

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Previously: The Spermathon: A Look Back

· We've haven't seen Daisy Fuentes in awhile, maybe because she's too busy getting drunk in the ocean. She's definitely no sea cow. (drunkenstepfather.com)

· Let's say you open a salon where scantily-clad ladies cut hair in sexy outfits. Well, this is the worst that can happen. (alliednews.com)

· Hooters is now 25 years old, so come on down and bring the kids!. When they say one big happy family, they mean it. (ajc.com)

· Some Malaysians don't mind the sports car racing, but aren't so keen on the ever-present racing babes. Sorry, you can't have one without the other. (thestar.com.my)

· Nudist recreation is now more popular than golf or tennis. Probably because you don't have to wear those ugly shirts. (azcentral.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Giulia Siegel did not make Maxim's Hot 100 list, but that's because she's German and already on the cover of that country's edition. So much for that whole "global village" thing. (gorillamask.net)

· Vivid will reportedly stop selling the Kim Kardashian sex tape—at least when they get around to taking it off their own website, which means you still have time to remember that it wasn't worth buying in the first place. (nypost.com + complex.com)

· Capitol police responded to reports of a naked man in the Senate Office Building, only to determine that he was simply wandering the halls in a flesh-colored bodysuit and has obviously watched too many Seinfeld reruns. (washingtonpost.com)

· Nudist resorts try to figure how to get the young folks interested in living without clothes. Maybe they should start them off with flesh-colored bodysuits, just to see how they like it. (newsday.com)

· Baristas in Portland, Oregon, get hip to the bikini coffee craze and start raking in the dough. Or raking in the beans ... or whatever. You get the idea. (wftv.com)

· The Ohio legislature works on a compromise for their controversial strip-club bill, which some taxpayers have discovered might not be the best use of their time. But all those other issues aren't nearly as fun to talk about. (columbusdispatch.com + news-herald.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

You might think that doing such a simple thing as taking your top off at the beach and letting your boobs bounce around in the breeze wouldn't require an instructional video. But that's exactly the purpose of this film clip from the 1960s in which the curious Pam learns to the accompanyment of swelling strings that it is neither "wrong or improper or unnatural" to join her gal pals at the beach for a bit of topless sunbathing and romping in the surf ... in fact, it's just as nature intended! As the narrator explains, "You've got to forget all that you've heard in the past, the silly jokes about nudists, the advice from other people." Of course, we could have taught her that by example too had we been around back then and had a Super 8 camera and a soundtrack orchestra at our disposal. Still, we hope that wherever Pam is now, she's continuing to share her newfound emancipation with a whole new generation of beach bunnies. Feel free to help spread the word yourselves too.

· "Female nudist instructional video from the 1960s, the sunshine club" (video @ fucd.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: Sex on the Beach, "Eves On Skis", Sleeping In A "Bed of Violence", A Lesson From "Professor Lust", "Porn" From The Past: "International Smorgas-Broad", "Russ Meyer: King Of Sexploitation" on YouTube, "Eves On Skis", Attack of the B-Movie Trailers!

· Kirsten Dunst needs help applying sunscreen ... to her breasts. Too bad the position's already been filled. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· One of the nation's oldest nudist camps is closing after more than 70 years in the business. After a certain age, even profits start to sag. (latimes.com)

· Speaking of nudists, there's a reason why their resorts tend to flourish in places like Southern California, and not, say, Maine in the middle of winter. That's what called a "hostile environment." (upi.com)

· In the Netherlands, however, the first "Naked Sunday" was a smashing success at Fitworld gym. We wonder if muscles were the only thing bulging that day? (iht.com)

· We can finally reveal the real reason why they invented sunglasses. The world must remain safe for ogling babes. (haha.nu, via Boing Boing)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives