The pitch goes like this:

With a career spanning over 25 years, Adult film star Nina Hartley has seen it all - from the explosion of VHS to the advent of internet porn. In this session, we'll be discussing how the web has been both a blessing and a curse for industry players and how that's now changing thanks to social networking technology.

Plus, "all my exes live in Texas," Hartley did not say.

What excites us about this idea is that Hartley is a porn perfomer talking about the world she lives in rather than, say, a blogger. But she can also make her point with clarity and exuberance, unlike many delightful trainwrecks with whom she sometimes shares screen time.

At the panel Hartley will address the following topics:

What is the history of porn on the internet?
How has it evolved?
How has the internet offered more access to sexual information and what is its affect on the general public?
How has more increased access to pornography changed the ways in which society views it?
How has social networking altered the consumption of porn online?
How did Nina get started online?
How has social networking affected the way Nina interacts with her fans?
How has social networking affected the evolution of Nina's Career?
How has social networking technology allowed Adult stars and celebrities, in general, take control over their careers?
What are the financial advantages for artists who utilize social networking technology in terms of owning their own content?

And if she also talks about how she successfully defended her domain name against a shoe company, that should qualify as a Twitter feed with a happy ending.

Log in at SXSW's 2010 Panel Picker before September 4:

· SXSW Panel Picker (sxsw.com)
· Nina Hartley (nina.com)

Santa Monica cops checked invitations, true, but after that the uniforms became far more sparse. Try high heels, wings or horns, some glitter, and nothing else.

Nina Hartley, Sunny Lane, Ava Rose, Alexa Jordan, Savannah Stern, Jenna Brooks, Kayden Kross, Maria Bellucci, and dozens of other porn luminaries mixed and mingled in this latest in Hustler's five-year family reunions. This one was held at the Santa Monica Airport, which allowed Larry Flynt to be taxied in in his jet.

I didn't know it until later, but longtime Hustler photographer/director Richard Monfort (nom de porn: Richard de Montfort) had died about a week before. This party would have been right up his alley, especially since the "Heaven" and "Hell" sides of the room seemed to keep changing sides. But he especially would have appreciated the familiar, family atmosphere of the event, hard as that might be to explain when you've got Ava Rose in her altogether.

It's also hard to tell what the road to either destination is paved with when you can't stop looking at Sunny Lane. But no one said it was easy.

So Happy Birthday, Hustler, and a fond farewell, Richard.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

Join us as we make sense of what jealousy is, how it impacts our lives, and how we can gain the upper hand. Whether you're experiencing jealousy on a regular basis, in love with someone who does, or just afraid that jealousy might rear it's ugly head, these two calls promise to give you a wealth of information!

Since jealousy is as old as human relationships, Mihalko's "Day of Jealousy" on Tuesday, June 9, will be conducted using the historical curiosity the telephones. Yes, you will have three chances during the day (with three different panels) to call in and benefit from the sage advice of professional polyamorists, cuddlers, bottoms, tops, switches, bitches, and imps.

Mihalko notes that reservations must be made for the conference call and that donations are appreciated. The calls will also be recorded for later broadcast, just in case Tuesday finds you busy Facebook-stalking your ex.

But you should tune in if you can; to talk with Nina Hartley is to be assured that everything is going to be just fine provided one's heart (and parts) are in the right place, which is usually up where everyone can see them.

· Nina Hartley (nina.com)
· Reid's Day of Jealousy (reidaboutsex.com)

That's why they've gone and compiled the best scenes they had from their award-winning MILF series to create 'The Best of Cheating Housewives' featuring an all star cast. Seriously, every single scene in this release is a fucking winner. That's powerful stuff in today's sagging porn market.

Lisa Ann gets power drilled by Ben English in a playful grudge fuck between two of Porn Valley's most powerful porn agents. Lisa demonstrates her Gumby-esque superpowers, exhibiting both alacrity and a surprising limberness, all the while locking her hungry stare on Ben's and demanding more. Their scene alone is compelling enough to carry this title, but that's just the start.

Sweet OG MILF Vicky Vette takes a sugary ride on her partner's candy cane, her luscious pink gash greedily slurping up every hard inch with her picture perfect lips drooling hot nectar onto his balls.

Sexy legend Nina Hartley proves why she's a sex educator, among other amazing things, by taking two of the biggest black shadow sticks in the history of porn at the same time—one of which looks surprisingly like that Rico the Destroyer guy. Any other performer would crumble under the pressure of proving pleasure to these two over endowed gentlemen, but Hartley has the situation well in hand as she devours both up her hungry holes.

Julia Ann is always a pleasure to watch, particularly with thug life Derrick Pierce expertly drilling her to high pitched ecstasy—and we never turn down the chance to watch Tiffany Minx or sultry diva bitch Nikita Denise take a hard pounding in their prime.

With all this MILFing goodness, the only thing left to ask is who's going to watch the children when they start working on racking up scenes for volume 2?

"Best of Cheating Housewives" drops next week from Smash Pictures. Get a babysitter then go pick up your copy.

Nina Hartley

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nina Hartley

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nina Hartley

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nina Hartley

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nina Hartley

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Julia Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Lisa Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Lisa Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Lisa Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Lisa Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Lisa Ann

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nikita Denise

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nikita Denise

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nikita Denise

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nikita Denise

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Nikita Denise

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Tiffany Minx

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Tiffany Minx

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Tiffany Minx

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Tiffany Minx

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Tiffany Minx

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
Vicky Vette

Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)

The Naked Feminist

Director: Louisa Achille
Featuring: Veronica Hart, Nina Hartley, Christi Lake, Chloe Nicole, Candida Royalle, Annie Sprinkle, Ginger Lynn, Marilyn Chambers, Seymore Butts, Betty Dodson, Veronica Vega, Mischa Allen, Abby Ehmann, Kylie Ireland, Sharon Mitchell

Review by: Gram Ponante

Aussie filmmaker Louisa Achille did something wonderful and revolutionary with this movie: she was able to present anti-porn feminists in a way that didn't make them seem shrill while giving a podium to some of the adult industry's most levelheaded and articulate champions, particularly Veronica Hart, Nina Hartley, Betty Dodson, Carol Queen, Sharon Mitchell, Annie Sprinkle, Candida Royalle, and Kylie Ireland.

Despite the widening blur dividing porn from mainstream entertainment, docs about the adult industry tend to lionize one side while demonizing the other. Unfortunately, this does nothing to convince the choir of the other's point of view. "Naked Feminist," while clearly pro-porn, neither paints porn's detractors as ridiculous nor shies away from showing porn stars exhibiting doubt.

Shot in 2002 and 2003, "The Naked Feminist" makes the obligatory AVN convention trip to Las Vegas for interviews with Hartley, Julie Meadows, Ginger Lynn, and the one of a kind Chloe Nicole, tracks down Veronica Hart at her office at the late, lamented VCA Pictures (VCA and Adam & Eve seemed to have a lock on the porn talent and clips presented), and found Dodson, Sprinkle, and Queen elsewhere around the country.

Seymore Butts appears briefly, but the remainder of the dozens of interviews are with women, who discuss everything from how porn affects relationships to the notion of solidarity among female performers (the doc devotes a chapter to "Club 90," a support group for porn actresses). We also hear some scary stories (Sharon Mitchell's rape by a crazed fan, Veronica Hart's first scene, in which the director went too far), some unsurprising ones (Chloe was high in her first scene), and a standard issue Dodson heartwarmer, in which she explains to her electrician why his unsatisfied girlfriend left him.

Of all the quotes that illuminate the ambivalence of attitudes about porn, my favorite is Carol Queen's:

"The notion that a woman who revels in her sexuality is free and open to anyone is really the toxic heart of the slut role or epithet and it's the part that the conservative feminists - and we - agree is problematic and wrong and needs to be trained out of the culture," Queen says. "And the culture is reluctant to do that because that is what keeps the slut role dangerous."

"Naked Feminist" has not found wide distribution,so its debut this week on iTunes (rent it for $2.99) will be the best opportunity the hour-long movie has had to attract eyeballs since its release.

Since so much time has passed, however, the new-porn aspirations of interviewees have either already come to fruition and just as quickly become something else - How is Hart's feminism different from Joanna Angel's, which might itself be different from Sasha Grey's? - or faded altogether. Hart is no longer making porn movies, which is a shame (luckily, Candida Royalle is), Chloe is no longer in the business, Marilyn Chambers is dead, and Annabelle Chong's hope that the solo-woman Internet site as a ticket to financial security might have been true in 2003, but is not now.

That said, "Naked Feminist" provides generous dollops of all the women in the adult industry who have something to say about it (circa 2003) and the message is still a compelling one today.

· "The Naked Feminist" on iTunes (itunes.com)

In fact, we directly credit the time we spent watching this exact sitcom—which made it's debut on ABC March 1st 1977, dead in the heart of our developmental years—as being the reason we ended up choosing this very career path. I am Jack's endless string of sexual innuendo.

Thus, when XBIZ's Director of the Year Will Ryder, creator of "Not the Brady's XXX," came to us and asked what we thought about him making "Not Three's Company XXX," and casting it chock full of cock all-stars like Brynn Tyler, Penny Flame, Nina Hartley, Jenny Hendrix, Madison Scott, Sienna West, Alyssa Hall, and Roxy Jezel pitted against cock masters Van Damage, Tommy Gunn, Dino Bravo, Scott Lyons and last, but not least, the original God of Fuck Ron Jeremy, we thoroughly approved.

Okay, maybe he didn't consult with us "per se," but he did invite us to the set, which is just as good. It was there that we learned that this sexy homage to our favorite trio involves Jack losing his job, Janet taking a night job, and the Ropers assuming she is now a hooker. Of course, unlike the sitcom, we actually get to see everyone screw their hearts out—hooray!

Brynn Tyler takes an amazing fuck session in her tight pink box from Eric Swiss. Pouting beauty and Hello Kitty addict Jenny Hendrix looks incredible getting drilled by skinny Lyons, and sexy Penny Flame takes a crack at Roxy Jezel's dusky crack. Legendary performer Nina Hartley puts her cock sucking skills to the test again, and we love seeing Tommy Gunn go "full Guido" with the hair, gold chain, and machisimo—even if every Italian knows that you never go "full Guido."

Still, in the end it's Van Damage who steals the show, nailing white hot Madison Scott and Alyssa Hall at the same time. We're big enough to admit we're more than a bit jealous: pint sized sexual powerhouse Madison Scott is well on her way to becoming Performer of the Year, and definitely a full fledged Fleshbot Crush Object. We heart her. Big time.

"Not Three's Company XXX" arrives in stores this week, just 32 years and a few days after the original show aired. Enjoy this exclusive extended preview set.

· "Not Three's Company XXX"· Sitcums (sitcums.com)

Even when they started twittering about the whole operation, we were still kinda suspect (come on, that can totally be faked). But now Josie Jacobs has started posting photos from the affair, including a photo of a naked Gianna Michaels, and we just can't deny it anymore: Popporn is really, truly, making a porno.

And we are so incredibly jealous.

· My Porno Vacation (josiejacobs.com)
· My Porno Vacation Part 2

The producers of "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" knew that only I could bring the type of jowly gravitas to the role of the bookish and distant dad of perky, gap-toothed and barely legal Kira Lynne, who gets my attention by having couch-rattling sex with Jon Jon just inches away.

Of course, I had to submit to hours of aging makeup and was not allowed to bring my own clothing.

Drawing inspiration from Gregory Peck's performance in "To Kill A Mockingbird," I at first expressed grave reservations about Kira's outfit, behavior, and choice of mate, but then allowed my character to gracefully arc through tolerance, acceptance and, ultimately, synthesis. Would that my instructors at Shakespeare & Co. have seen me, doubtless they would have been in awe at my powerful resolve and the titanic reserve I displayed at not breaking character all over Kirra's face.

And I feel that my performance elevated those of my co-stars, a testament to my Meisner, Method, and Scientology training. For their part, directors Grip and Cram Johnson coaxed from me a career-defining interpretation.

I admit that I face competition in the very same movie from the likes of Dirty Harry and Herschel Savage, but I really feel that my entirely improvised performance, my eye contact and emotional connection with my scene partners, will make 2010 my year. I've earned this.

. . .

· Chatsworth Pictures (chatsworthpictures.com)
· Buy "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" (jerkoffzone.com)

Straight from the red carpet of the AVN Awards, here our some of our favorite (and not so favorite) fashion choices. We'll let you decide which is which.

· AVN Awards (avnawards.com)

Eric had hosted this party for years and it had become the victim of its own success. "I know less than half the people here," he said. But the drinks were plentiful and there was enough food to sop them up.

I have to admit there was tension in the air, though. People can get edgy when the time of year suggests self-inspection. A woman who could have got away with it in her dancing years was drunk and belligerent; a guy I saw the day before and knew to be born and raised in Chicago was affecting a French accent.

But that was a tiny percentage; everyone else was on the make but in the nicest way possible. This is what happens when you get past 30. Or at least that's what I think will happen in 12 years...

A woman who got a little weepy about saving dogs talked to me very earnestly, then started hiccoughing. I saw my chance.

"Do you need to be ... palpated?" I asked.

"Yes."

And her hicccoughs disappeared. I felt like Jonas Salk must have had he been two bottles of Jagermeister deep and just as far in a dogophile from Pasadena.

But it was not to be.

As the party thinned Eric came to the back yard and announced that some douchebag had stolen his iPod, probably one of the majority of the unknown guests. This put a damper on things, but briefly, because then Eric disappeared, not to be seen again for the rest of the party.

I asked my friend where Eric went.

"He's in there with Danielle getting his New Year's beej," he said. "It's been happening since 2006."

I thought: I cured her hiccoughs so she could give another man a blowjob?

Worse than that, it was 4 a.m. and all the consolation prizes had driven back to Koreatown, Echo Park, and [shudder] Ojai.

But it was right that that happened. Eric had thrown a fantastic party. That someone stole his iPod was unforgivable. Yes, he deserved that blowjob. He deserved it.

But does Craig Valentine in "Immoral Orals," in which he holds a camera while being fellated by the likes of Sunny Lane, Nina Hartley, and Devon and Kelsey Michaels? Sure he paid them for it, but does he deserve it? I don't think so.

But maybe someone stole his iPod.

. . .

· Stunner Studios (stunnerxxx.com)
· Buy "Sunny Lane's Immoral Orals" (xonair.com)

We usually use Fleshbot Requests to celebrate the superficial—but today we're going to go more than just skin deep, and celebrate some of our favorite pornstars who've got brains as well as beauty.

. . .

Penny Flame
Despite dropping out of college to pursue more prurient interests, Penny Flame has proven to be one of the smartest, funniest, and most entertaining performers to hit the industry in the last decade. With her own How To sex series at Vivid, overseen by none other than the Queen Bee of the Clitorati (and reclusive literary genius Thomas Pynchon's niece) Tristan Taormino, a well read blog, and rumors of an impending novel, it appears this sultry all natural girl next door is as prolific as she is insatiable. An afternoon with Flame may take you into the heart of a compassionate political discussion, poetry recitation, yoga practice, meditation, and end with tantra—if you're lucky.

Kayden Kross
Setting aside for a moment the federal indictment against her for grand theft house, it's been a hell of a year for this rising star. Even being embroiled in a real life scandal with serious consequences couldn't dampen the blazing desire of Adam & Eve contract starlet, equestrian, animal lover, and raging Libratarian. When she's not fighting for her life in court, fucking on screen, feature dancing, reading poetry with celebrated authors, writing several blogs, or working on her economics degree, she's passionately canvassing for political causes that get her hot and bothered. This year she re-upped with Adam & Eve, starred in mainstream movies and television shows, and made Penthouse Pet. When we asked her why she should be included on this list, she said “because Ayn Rand is my hero.”

Aiden Starr
This pint-sized East Coast transplant with perfect breasts has an equally perfect mind. Gifted with brains and beauty, she's given in to her overarching need for strong kink and we couldn't be happier to stand back and watch the amazing results. Equally at home having hard lengths of turgid manpipe crammed in her every orifice or arguing Nietzsche with well endowed strangers, we get the feeling you'd never know by the light of day what this astounding beauty is really capable of. 2008 was the year she convinced us that our love for her was indeed real. Now if only she would return our calls.

Justine Joli
Any list of smart pornstars would be incomplete without this luscious, nacre skinned goddess, whose extensive knowledge of GITS and BTVS is only rivaled by her ability to quote William Gibson and Aldous Huxley. A regular fixture at Comic Con, she's every nerd's dream come true: an honest-to-god geek in the form of a hot chick who loves Batman, Spiderman, and Superman with unmitigated zeal, has read every Harry Potter book in existence and loves Ronald Weasley and all things Griffyndor. It's almost too good to be true. We gotta wonder: where did she learn all that stuff again?

Joanna Angel
What's there to say? Our founding Fleshbot Commandress is an enigma of epic proportions. Smart, sexy, and Jewish, she's also covered in tattoos, loves anal sex, and has the dorkiest, and most adorable, sense of humor of any woman we have ever met. From the outset she's set the stage for her own success, owning and operating her own site crammed full of punk rock princesses just coming of age, as well as writing, producing, and starring in her own titles. Who'd have ever thought that the object of some of our most satisfyingly urgent sexual desires also possessed such uncanny business acumen?

Stoya
Stoya may be the single most beautiful woman ever to fuck on film—and that is a scientific fact. With a single flash of her sultry bedroom eyes or a playful bite of her lip she completely owns us in every way. Given the preternatural power she possess to enchant we'd never have suspected that underneath it lied a head full of art and literature. Trust us when we say it's all there. Stoya is the whole package. The last time we had the pleasure to spend an afternoon with our reigning Supreme Commandress, the Digital Playground contract star explained her doubts about the electoral process over a grueling twelve or so holes of miniature golf with such passion and clarity that we thought her publicist must have been feeding her answers via ear piece. She also makes her own clothing and loves museums and art shows. She has yet to respond to our several marriage proposals.

Sasha Grey
Being labeled “hot” by Rolling Stone magazine isn't the normal run of things for a pornstar, but then again, Sasha Grey isn't your normal pornstar. She's been recognized by rock stars and celebrities, prominently featured in music videos, interviewed in mainstream magazines, invited to lecture film school students, and cast as the female lead of a Stephen Soderbergh film. Thankfully, all this has done little to diminish her sex drive or her desire to keep fucking on film for the rest of us to enjoy. Those who spend any amount of time with her come away swearing to us that she's the real McCoy, and that hearing her freestyle on topics from Andy Warhol to film theory to the culture wars will leave you wondering how someone her age could possible be so erudite.

Kimberly Kane
Although she stole our hearts years ago, performer slash director Kimberly Kane continues to gently cradle it in her paint splattered hands. Countless hours have we spent discussing art and literature with the alt director, generally at gallery openings or on the way to some art film she's dragged us kicking and screaming to go see. It seems hard to reconcile the images we see of her on screen voraciously devouring men and women without prejudice against the reality of her quoting Kerouac to us. No list would be complete without her, even if she can't always spell.

Dana DeArmond
Self applying the label of “the internet's girlfriend” does not make you a smarty pants, exactly, but take our word for it when we tell you this girl is wicked smart. Oh, and she kinda scares us a little too so we had to include her—so she wouldn't beat us up. Her known accomplices include Aiden Starr and Kimberly Kane. That alone qualifies her for the list—her acerbic wit and lust for all things electronic merely cement her place here.

Nina Hartley
We end our short list with the one porn star we could very well have started with. Nina Hartley is more than just a porn legend, she's one of the pillars of third wave sex positive feminism, an author, the original sex educator, a spokesperson for polyamory, and a fixture of the BDSM community—which is no mean feat. Her personal blog has oft been the start of controversial discourse, and those who wish to argue against the benefits of free expression and sexuality have more than once aimed their scorn and derision at the lusty icon. Nina self assuredly shrugs off even the most intense criticism with a wry and knowing smile, using her own considerable mix of innate wisdom and intellectual prowess to aptly defend her beliefs, articulating her points with a grace that belies the calm of a Zen master, the compassion of Mother Theresa, and the carnality of, well, Nina Hartley. We can honestly say that we are grateful to be able to call her a friend.

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Can you come up with a better tag line for a Christmas porn than that? Do what you must: sexualize the Virgin Mary, give Santa a prodigious wang, plague Rudolph with an unseemly discharge, refer to a 69 that never happens, but take back Christmas from the captains of industry and return it to the carnal ice orgy it once was.

(And "Spirit of Christmas Assed" is taken.)

Since you are already bowed under the weight of familial pressure this time of year, we won't ask you to measure up to the Brobdingnagian efforts of last week's winner, but we'd like to see something by St. Stephen's Day. Something, Kevin, OK? We pay all that money for college and you come back looking like this? Oh wait. We're doing it again.

· Anarchy Films (anarchyfilmsdvd.com)
· Buy "Very Creamy Christmas" (gamelink.com)

Lest you thought you were watching yet another reason for the mothballing of Guantanamo Bay, the mass ass-presentation of (from left) Ava Rose, Bobbi Starr, Bree Olson, Trinity Post, and Mika Tan to the cruel whips of Nina Hartley and Claire Adams that led this story was in honor of the release of "O2: The Surrender of O."

Here Adams scandalizes the proper Hartley with some ribaldry.

At the Webmaster Access West convention, an annual get-together of Internet nerds who happen to own the porn industry, The Internet's Ashley Steele poses with two eskimo girls from the affiliate program Flashcash. Who cares if she can't see Russia from her house?

Then Bobbi Starr returned at Hollywood's Golden Apple Comics to launch Nerdcore's 2009 calendar (she's Miss November). As you can see, here she is attempting to fist the Silver Surfer.

Finally, we caught geektrix extraordinaire Justine Joli trying to leave the city of Los Angeles. "If you try to keep me," she did not say, "you never really had me."

Director Ernest Greene and his wife, Nina Hartley, set the tone in full S&M regalia—along with nearly the entire cast, who were custom swathed in alluring and color coded latex from infamous fetish designers courtesy of Syren. Next to the legendary Nina Hartley, was Bree Olson, eagerly tending to the guests every need. (And we must say, Bree did an excellent job of replacing newly retired Carmen Luvana.) Bree was joined by costars Ava Rose, Bobbi Starr, Claire Adams, Mika Tan, Evan Stone, and Tommy Gunn.

Dana DeArmond, Jenny Hendrix, Veronique Vega, Aiden Starr, Satine Phoenix, and a virtual wash of new, blonde porn stars lined up against the media wall to have their pictures taken while Master Liam, Master Aaron, Master Joseph, and other L.A. bondage scenesters came out to pay their respects to Greene, almost as if he were the Godfather or the vampire Lestat. Throughout the evening, several small spanking and bondage sessions ensued—to the delight of the swelling but oh-so-exclusive crowd.

The evening culminated with a lusciously movable feast of tits and ass being paraded onto stage for a roll call, immediately followed by the one and only Mistress Claire Adams performing a grand spanking finale (one we won’t soon forget). It comes as no surprise to us that, after such a wild evening of incendiary action, Los Angeles burned to the ground the next day. Really, we're just left with one question: does the delightful Miss Olson also play fiddle?

· Buy "The Surrender of O" (gamelink.com)

O2: The Surrender of O

"We hate to be wet alone," says Marie (Nina Hartley) of her new, incorrigible slave O (Bree Olson). "(But) we don't punish because they're bad, we punish because it's fun."

In the rarefied world of O2, director Ernest Greene's "fan fiction" updating of characters from Anne Desclos' "The Story of O" (and the sequel to 2006' O: The Power of Submission), everything requires permission and everything has rules. But the consequences are supposed to be fun.

So what happens in a D/s relationship when things aren't fun anymore?

Before we get to that, let's talk about Bree Olson and Carmen Luvana.

In the original, former Adam & Eve flagship contract star Carmen Luvana played the title character as Carmen Luvana herself is; a steely, no-nonsense sweaterminx who was all machine-crafted porn-star curves. Olson inhabits the role in a far-more cushiony way. It is easy to believe the sub in her. In fact, as the stern (but fair) Hartley and the Amazonian Sheridan put O(lson) through her paces, hanging her upside down, smacking tantalizingly close to her most secret places, O looks like a delicious and yielding piece of dough beside the two more angular ladies.

"You don't have to see the first one to get the story," director Greene says. But I get the feeling Adam & Eve would like you to. The first movie made a lot of money and still brings in a fair amount of cash each month, which is unheard of for a porn movie from two years ago (which is a much better way of saying "a two-year-old porn movie").

The sequel finds our heroine still in love with the man she left behind, having even lasered off his tattoo from her tramp stamp area. But can she keep away? And will Marie be her enabler?

O is a sexual tourist, a servant of many masters, and the story of O is what constitutes fidelity in the master/slave relationship.

Marie and Mistress Nicole (Nicole Sheridan) are co-dominatrices in a clean industrial space to which O has hied herself to begin masturbating without permission. And this is not allowed.

So the movie opens with this zesty little scene in which Olson is nothing but a willing plaything to Marie and Mistress Nicole. And this is fine. BDSM purists will love it as will fans of Hartley, Sheridan, and Olson, each of whom represents a body type characteristic of the generations of Porn in which she started.

But after her workout, Olson and Hartley start talking (Sheridan has been dispatched to In-n-Out Burger, where she will return with a bagful of Double Doubles that the ladies will wrestle in for the O sequel in my mind). As in real life, Hartley as Marie plays an impish mentor, suggesting to O that her "maintenance doses" of whupping might not be enough to scratch O's itch.

"Why don't you come up to the house?" says Marie.

The house! If there had been a budget for it, we would have flashed back to 2006 and the strange events at The House, a full-immersion "lifestyle" chateau in which masters, mistresses and their servants live their roles unfettered by aspects of common living like phone bills, nosy relatives, and Jehovah's Witnesses. It was here that O's character was swapped between the imperious Steven and his tragic brother Ray, and where O broke Steven's heart.

The house!

O swallows her fear and makes the drive, and in a quick montage sequence that would have made Stephen J. Cannell rethink his career, she gets herself gussied up for the experience, removing underthings, self-shackling handcuffs, etc.

At the house, O meets Rita (Mika Tan) and Regina (Kayden Kross), who let her know that Marie is the prime mover in the operation, not the fellows whom she lets think are in charge.
"It's a quite profitable business," Regina says. "For us."

But wouldn't that make me a whore? we hear O thinking.

"Don't even say it," Rita says.

Now it's time for more sex. For someone who so clearly looks like the late-model porn star, Kayden Kross sure works hard for her money. Unlike Olson, who looks the part of a welcoming sub, the porn-glamorous Kross must convince us that she really likes what she's doing, and she does this in a post-shaving interlude with Erik Everhard. She and the Canadian Everhard engage in some cross-border trucing that is all about the north/south reconciliation and not about fisheries.

But things are going tough for O. Not only is Steven downstairs making Tan and Ava Rose do terrible, wonderful things, but his prodigal half-brother Ray (Tommy Gunn) also just checked in. O is distraught, and Rita dutifully runs to tell Marie, after Rita and O share a tearful girls' moment in the tastefully appointed swingers' lavatory. It's a goddamn henhouse with buttplugs in there.

"Oh, poor O," says Marie when Rita tells her the news, as if Marie couldn't have prevented all this potential heartache. (Like God, a dominatrix always wants to take the credit for the good times, but when things go south, it's all about your personal responsibility.)

Anyway, after watching O endure encounters with both cold Steven and hapless Ray (the brothers have a scene together - in which they talk - where I almost forgot I was watching a porn movie, save for Kayden Kross' ass), puppetmistress Marie orchestrates a reconciliation between O and Steven. She even gives the soon-to-be-couple a ring with the inscription "Freedom is deciding whose slave you want to be."

At this point I was wondering "what gives you the right, Marie?" when O said those very words on screen.

"I don't," says Marie. "But, like everything I have in life, I took it."

So not only does O2 illuminate and glorify good D/s relationships as healthy partnerships between thoughtful people, it also validates Marie's unsettling compulsion to meddle. This domme is topping from the side.

All in all, that's a lot to think about while lubricating your apparatus.

While now and then a performer seems to struggle with the lines he has been asked to deliver, my only real problem with this movie is that it looks like it deserved more money. Normally with porn movies it's the other way around; they are playing at "mainstream" production values but lacking the skill to pull it off. O2 had the skills but, with only five days to shoot what could have been a month-long indie project, it was like having to watch Lawrence of Arabia on a little black and white TV.

Regardless, as a sex film, as a lifestyle documentary, and as a flesh-packed, English-language telenovela, O2: The Surrender of O is, like its predecessor, another porn movie that transcends its genre. Remember: Come for the Nina, stay for the Bree.

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ernest Greene
Cast: Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Nina Hartley, Ava Rose, Trinity Post, Mika Tan, Bobbi Starr, Erik Everhard, Jerry, Claire Adams, Marco Banderas, Nicole Sheridan

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Buy "O2: The Surrender of O" (tlavideo.com)

With less than two weeks until the election, the GOP has turned on itself, pointing fingers at each other and actualizing the kind of erratic behavior they've been accused of for months now. The bottom line is that there's more than a likely chance (if polls are any indication) that the neo-con and evangelicals' new favorite cheerleader will soon be packing up her $150,000 wardrobe and heading back to the crystal meth capital of Alaska while Tina Fey goes back to work at 30 Rock. But where will that leave the rest of us? Holding our proverbial dicks in our virtual hands—that’s where!

But wait, there's hope! As we've discussed at length, freedom fighter and political antagonist Larry Flynt has been hard at work, producing a sex parody that'll give the nation ample fodder to get our electoral rocks off. We may never get to the roots of why we find her so eminently fuckable, but at least we'll always have a souvenir of the days before this great country rode over the edge of the abyss with divisive partisan politics. In these last dark hours, before we lose the ability to believe in "hope" or "change," let’s enjoy this fine pornographic accomplishment together. We're sure the memory of its beautiful hardcore action will keep us going this time next year, when we're roasting pigeons over our trashcan fires, huddling together for warmth in one of the sprawling tent cities soon to be springing up all over America!

We'd like to imagine that one day soon Sarah herself will watch it—ideally, naked on all fours wearing only those sexy MILF glasses, with the First Dude mounting her from behind while she screams at the top of her lungs “Drill Baby Drill!!”

What? Too soon? Yeah... maybe you’re right.

Thanks to Hustler for this exclusive gallery (only on Fleshbot, kids!), and to Larry for—yet again—being the only one think about the pervert vote.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

"Who's Nailin' Paylin?" also features Lisa Ann (and Sindee Jennings) as "Serra Paylin" and Nina Hartley as "Hillary."

But it is the Brick House Fire who has twice been called upon to channel Rice, herself the only National Security Advisor-turned-Secretary of State to have an oil tanker named after her.

"She's got a great ass," Fire noted.

Would Mdm. Secretary be honored?

"Condi's gonna kill me," Fire said.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Nailin' Paylin for America (gramponante.com)

"'MILF' suggests motherhood," the veteran pornstress and star of thousands of videos and countless more sordid fantasies said. "'Mom I'd Like to Fuck'. 'It also implies something soft and warm. I prefer 'cougar'. 'Cougar' is more predatory."

Trained as a midwfe, Hartley has nevertheless chosen to remain childless. Why, then, and despite what she just said, did we find her atop Will Power on the set of Northstar's latest episode of "Minivan Moms"?

"It's a heartwarming story in which the two characters fall in love - ?" she suggested.Despite my general star-struckedness, around Hartley, who still gets mail about her 1988 outing with Peter North in "Splendor in the Ass," I didn't buy that either.

Hartley, whose "Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex" has just been translated into German ("Sex mit Nina") will be riding her minivan into your pants by Christmas, regardless of the fact that she only plays a mom in porn films.

· Nina Hartley (nina.com)
· Northstar Associates (northstarassociates.com)

·The Script of Who's Nailin' Paylin?(hustlerworld.com)

. . .

Ariana Jollee


Joanna Angel

Nina Hartley

Daphne Rosen (kellyfind.com)

Whitney Stevens (kellyfind.com)

****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive