China: No Porn For You!

Internet giant Google China issues formal apology for being too slow, in the Chinese government's estimation, to remove all links to porn sites from its search engine. More »

A school in Georgia has finally figured out a solution to the problem of teachers having sex with students—they've started having sex with each other. On school grounds. While class is in session. See, problem solved! (wrdw.com, image via sinfulteachers.com, via askjolene.com)

The Perfect Crime?

A Porn Valley bukkake production—which typically pays its 50-to-60 male performers in cash—got robbed at gunpoint while the cast was getting ready make its deposit. Talk about getting caught with your pants down! (xbiz.com)

Porn Theatre Arson In Osaka

Sad news from Japan: An arsonist set fire to Osaka's Cats Adult Video Theater early Wednesday morning, killing 15 people. (Apparently, such theaters are popular overnight resting spots for young people and for businessmen who miss their trains.) Police have arrested a 46-year-old man who admitted to setting the blaze—by which he intended to kill himself, telling police that he was "tired of living". Which is never a reaction we've had watching porn, no matter how bad it's been. (w/video @ NHK.or.jp, via AVN)

A Florida teenager was allegedly attacked and robbed by four topless women, who left him $100 poorer. We're not sure what he's complaining about—there are people who pay a hell of a lot more for that kind of treatment. (ananova.com; thumbnail star Karen via Ask Jolene)

A court ruled this week that a man who sodomized a sheep will not have to register as a sex offender because the sheep cannot be considered a victim of sexual assault under Michigan law. We hope that after the injured livestock gets back on her feet she organizes a protest—or at least buys the dude a box of inflatable sheep sex dolls, or maybe even a ram dildo to beat him with (in an unpleasant way, of course). Hey, sheep are people too! (freep.com, thumbnail by yuridojc @ flickr.com)

But What About The Topless Mermaids?

And in other news we didn't expect to hear on NPR, Maria Kristina Dominguez has lost her lawsuit against Sean "Diddy" Combs. Apparently, if you show up to someone's party in a topless mermaid costume, they have a legal right to take your picture and put it in a magazine. The more you know, kids! (npr.com)

Hey, if bartending in the nude is wrong, then we don't want to be right. Or drunk. (ap.google.com, thumb via adultsexfriends.com)

Aspiring lawyers take note: you may not accept lap dances from your clients as a form of payment. However, it is still permissible to settle your legal bills by stuffing singles into your attorney's belt. (chicagotribune.com; legal scholar Danni Ashe via boobsmodels.com via)

We know those Pacific Northwesterners love their coffee and their nude girls (ideally at the same time), but we're sort of surprised to see that even NPR has taken an interest in the ongoing battle of the people vs. Espresso Gone Wild. Isn't there an election or something that they should be covering? (npr.com)

So who exactly is this Dick Smith and why does he get to look at phone porn images? More importantly, can we have his job? (news.com.au; thumb via WildDolls.com)

Fans of Katie Price (neé Jordan) will be happy to know that her fame will soon be spreading to the American side of the Atlantic, thanks to this article in this weekend's New York Times magazine. We have to question the Times' claim that Katie is simply famous for being famous, though. Being a Page 3 girl and having an incredible rack counts for something, you know. (nytimes.com)

Because everyone else is doing it, the next version of Firefox will contain a "private mode" for all your porn browsing needs. (Although true Mozilla fans know that this has been possible for awhile now.) Of course, we don't understand why you would want to erase your porn surfing history anyway—how would you remember where are all the best smut is? (techcrunch.com)

Sure, most high school teachers like to kick back during quiet study time and watch a little bondage porn on their classroom computer. Most of them are just smart enough to unhook the video projector before they do. At least someone is learning a lesson. (newsnet5.com)

American Airlines has only been testing their new wi-fi internet service on 15 flights a day, but the flight attendants union is already asking how they can tone down the porn. Gee, if only they could have used the plane's radar to see that one coming a mile away. (dallasnews.com)

It's a sad day for Taiwan as the country sees the closure of its last legal brothel, although we suppose that its 87-year-old pimp earned his retirement. Meanwhile, if anyone has openings for its other two employees, we'd sure they like to know. It's hard for middle-aged sex workers to find decent work these days. (uncoached.com; if anyone knows more about where that thumbnail came from, we'd like to know that too)

Yet Another Exxxotica NY Update

Now the mayor of Edison, NJ, says "there's no place" for a porn convention in his town, although he probably won't do anything about it because as Secaucus can tell you, kicking out conventions is bad for business. Oh, Edison will take your money, porn people, but that doesn't mean they have to like it! (dailyrecord.com + nj.com)

A 22-year-old San Diegoan wants to auction her virginity to pay for her college eduction. (She's going for a doctorate in marriage and family therapy.) Well, if it's one night in Reno vs. 10 years of student loan payments, that's a pretty tough call to make. (nydailynews.com)

Exxxotica NY Update

Because of the childrens, Exxxotica NY has been moved from the Meadowlands to the picturesque wilderness of Edison, NJ. All ahead, full thrusters! (avn.com)

According to this press release masquerading as a "news" report, employers are reportedly worried about the so-called "porn modes" in the latest version of Internet Explorer and Google's Chrome browser. We're not sure what all the fuss is about, though — after all, we spend our whole work day looking at porn, and it just makes us more productive! (marketwatch.com)

The ACLU is filing a federal lawsuit to defend the First Amendment rights of a pole dancing instructor. Yes, lap dances are free speech ... and isn't free speech beautiful? (nytimes.com)

North Korea is using deadly sex spies to seduce South Korean military officers in order to learn classified information. Is it 1944 again? Can't they just use Google like everyone else? (theaustralian.news.com.au)

The founder of the company that makes the fake penis enlargement pill Enzyte has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for fraud (!). That's what you get for making people feel bad about their small penises ... and defrauding the public of about $400 million. Now will people stop buying that crap? (ap.google.com)

Now that all the airlines are looking to add in-flight internet service, the biggest question on everyone's mind is, of course, who is going to be responsible for telling the guy in 18-B to turn down the volume on "Cum Fart Tsumani". Although it could give a whole new meaning to the concept of a "red eye" flight. (foxnews.com)

Despite having untold scores of pasty-faced conventioneers in town, Denver strip clubs are suffering from a bit of a lull this week. Since when do people prefer political speeches to bathtub shows? The solution is simple, however—next week's tech convention will set things right! Nerds to the rescue! (denverpost.com)

A Cincinnati high school ran into a bit of a problem when they recently learned that the skirts worn by their football cheerleaders actually violate the school's dress code. And it's not like you can tell cheerleaders to wear pants—that goes against what cheerleading is all about! (cincinnati.com)

They Do Things Different Over There

A cougar in Britain and her 17-year-old boyfriend spent the night in jail after having sex in a train station—but were sent home in the morning with nothing more than a stern "caution." Gosh, we hope no one's feelings got hurt! (freshnews.in, via nerve.com; dramatization via blueplayers.com, via Ask Jolene)

This just in: Men and women sometimes trade sex for favors and gifts! There's even a name for this shocking new phenomenon. It's called "dating." (cnn.com, thumb via)

Nude figure models of the world unite! Seriously, because someone has started a guild for naked models in Washington D.C.. After all, you have nothing to lose ... because you already took your clothes off, right? (washingtonpost.com)

Sunny Leone Really Wants To Direct

You might think that the divine Sunny Leone already had her hands full with her responsibilities as a Vivid girl and all, but apparently our favorite Indo-Canadian crush object has a few more talents she hasn't exercised yet: word is that she'll be launching her own production line, SunLust Pictures, early next year. Sunny says that her movies "will appeal to many different niches" and that she plans to "direct, create, write and produce" all of them—though we noticed that "perform in" was conspicuously absent from that job description. Let's just hope she doesn't forget to keep exercising the talent that made us fall in love with her in the first place ... (Xbiz; thumbnail via vividvideoonline.com via Ask Jolene)

It's really sad that the people who do some of society's most important jobs usually get paid so little for their efforts—like this summertime prostitute who has to work as a teacher nine months of the year just to pay the bills! Can't we vote in more pay raises for our sex workers? (kare11.com; thumb of hardworking sex teacher Charlie James via naughtyamerica.com, via Ask Jolene)

We've heard of some bad group sex experiences, but they very rarely end with one of the participants getting stabbed with a steak knife and sent to the hospital. Seriously, that almost never happens. Usually. Not every time, anyway. (madison.com)

We're bummed to hear from our pal Audacia Ray that the Village Voice has suddenly decided to shutter its Naked City blog, which had become as much a part of our daily routine as flossing and our late morning ass smoothie pick-me-up. Where are we supposed to keep up with the latest releases in the "Hey, Grandma Is A Whore" series now? (Uh, don't answer that.) (wakingvixen.com + nakedcity.com)

We're glad to see that the annual Boobs On Bikes parade has once again returned to Auckland to help some of our Kiwi friends beat those winter blahs—despite yet another attempt this year by breast-despising meanies to stop it. We're wondering if the organizers have any plans to franchise the event here in North America, because we could totally use some cheering up around here too. Even if it's not winter yet. (moezilla.newsvine.com + reuters.com; thumbnail via sex-and-blogs.com)

If you're a fan of the bikini-clad baristas at your local drive-through espresso joint, dumping your spare change in their tip jar is probably a better way to show your appreciation instead of showing up in women's underwear and exposing yourself. Then again, they might not send you off with a complimentary cup of hot water for your trouble that way, so we guess it's your call. (kirotv.com; thumbnail via javagirls.net)

Remember those days when hipsters with prestigious but low paying media jobs had to have trust funds or sell coke if they wanted to make ends meet? Now all they have to do is More »

A man in Brighton, England, has been given a restraining order and may not go with 100 yards of his girlfriend's apartment ... because they are too loud when they have sex and the neighbors can't take it anymore. Or maybe they're just jealous? (bbc.co.uk)

Oh! Canada, We Fap For Thee

Canada is launching a new pay television porn network that promises to show at least 50% homegrown Canadian smut. Gee, that's an awful lots of pucks. (theglobeandmail.com; photo of proud Québécoise Lanny Barby via this)

Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here

That's right, an original unsullied film print of "Johnny Wadd"—the first movie in the classic John Holmes series—was recently discovered in a storage locker and will soon be released on DVD. (It was never even released on VHS.) We hope collectors don't blow their ... you know. (avn.com)