The leonine and varipelted Randi Wright seems well on track with her recent website launch, and dispels rumors that those symmetrical markings on her abs are not where the urban legend organ farmers got her kidneys but rose tattoos instead.

· Randi Wright (allrandiwright.com)

Read about my sad voyage of discovery after the gap.

. . .

So last Thursday was not Jean Laconia's first time.

That honor belongs, most likely, to the new Connecticut-based hardcore-with-feeling company Real Passion Productions (which is not a swingers site as I'd assumed), who shot the 18-year-old in solo and lesbian scenes last August.

Don't get me wrong; I understand the strategic value in telling a fib (I usually tell people that I am 8" uncut when I am actually shriven and much, much larger so that they don't get back in the cab screaming), but Laconia and her agent didn't need to lie to both Porn Week and Vivid about an innocence that is pretty moot anyway.

I know that I and Fleshbot readers would have had a crush on her if she'd been a 37-year-old Romney-supporting cargo loader with chlamydia. But we have delightfully low standards, as you well know.

· Real Passion Productions (realpassionproductions.com)
· De Jean Vu (gramponante.com)

Previously: Meet Jean Laconia

See more of the prime of Miss Jean Laconia after the gap.

We are big fans of Scots director Gazzman. It was at last year's show, in fact, that we were first treated to another 18-year-old's very first porn scene, with Gazzman directing. This time the camera work was done by Gazzman associate Dave West, also of Harmony Films.

Though I didn't mean to, the smallest amount of muckraking turned up a swingers website in which Laconia is featured in romps with other women. Homegrown or not, there is nothing that separates pro from amateur in porn if someone is being paid, so I hope Vivid isn't using Laconia for "Brand New Faces" or someone is going to get his money back.

Laconia, as one can assume by her porn name, has a slight New England accent, and with her clothes on is just the type of woman you'd expect at a Patriots game. We don't have a symmetrical sports comment about how she looks with her clothes off, other than to say something lame like "Touchdown!"

Strippers who cross into the world of porn have a slight advantage over their hooker, reality show, or never-had-sex-before counteerparts: they know how to find their light, arch their backs, and talk porny. It's tough (and a little awkward) getting naked in front of a roomful of men with cameras in Vegas, yet Laconia boldly said, "If OI didn't give you all boners, I didn't do my job."

(For me, it was too early in the week for the inappropriate behavior that characterized most Gawker employees, and I still maintained a semblance of my America's Beloved Porn Journalist self. Like Jame Gumb, I taped myself down before entering the hotel room, just to maintain my integrity.)

Laconia's second porn scene ever - and the first with someone else - was scheduled for today with Vivid. She doesn't have a website yet, but she will.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Gram's Gallery (gramponante.com)

· Tristan Kingsley's "Girl of the Month" Video (ladirectmodels.com)
· See also: "Male performers protest L.A. Direct Models' discrimination" (gramponante.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

One reason why we love Dana DeArmond and her posse at Vivid Alt so much is because underneath all those tattoos and piercings and black eyeliner glistens the most rarest of body parts in porn: an actual heart. For proof, look no further than their latest project, "Dana DeArmond: Role Modeling", which features a roost of fledgling starlets making their debut under Dana's expert tutelage and brings the whole barely legal porn concept to new heights of hotness and, well, caring. "it's just we uste to send girls to work with others for there frist time" said proud papa Eon McKai in a creatively spelled IM conversation this weekend, "and bad stuff would happen. now we do it in house." To which Dana herself added, "i am like a mother bird, giving them a nice soft nest." If all our role models were as sexy as Dana, we might have been too distracted to ever spread our wings and fly. But we'd certainly let her help us try to learn.

Check out our exclusive "Dana DeArmond: Role Model" gallery after the jump.

- - -

· "Dana DeArmond: Role Modeling" (Fleshbot Gallery)
· See more: "Dana DeArmond: Role Modeling" @ vividalt.com and "Role Modling (Dana DeArmond's) on set photos" (476ad.com)
· Vivid Alt (vividalt.com)

Update More @ AVN: "Dana DeArmond Directs Role Modeling for Vivid-Alt" (avn.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood: Dana DeArmond Leads Us Astray, Fleshbot AltWatch^TM: Dana And Eon Do Charm City, Dana DeArmond's Hot Mail Bag Action, Dana DeArmond's Decorative Taint, Naomi, Dana, and Mika: Almost Famous

The new packaging of Tina Tyler's "Fresh Out the Box" series brings an element of interstellar travel to the porn marketplace, perhaps approaching the divine in its search for the Infinite. Either that or these finger-in-the-mouth hotties are overexposed literally and photographically.

We consulted some volumes of ancient lore to see if ancient astronauts were involved, but found this:

More fresh babes that are ready to get violated. Five new girls total and three first-time-with-Lex- girls that suck and fuck big black dicks!

This isn't NASA; we have no idea what it means. - GP

· Buy "Fresh Out the Box 7" (gamelink.com)
· Mercenary Pictures (lexsteele.com)

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive