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more about #straight more comments → Pinkie: Title: Ashlynn Brooke And The Arc Of Triumph Plot: Ashlynn must find the Arc Of Triumph, a mythic artifact rumored to guarantee dominance to its po... more » Princess Commands, Darling: I once said that Bobbi Starr had the best mouth in porn, but that first pic makes me think she shares that honor with Jesse... #jessejane more » offred: While every death is a tragedy, "Criminal Sex Investigation" teaches us that the greatest purpose of life is to fuck a lot and leave a sexy corpse. I... more » bibble3000: I just saw a clip of this on ... somewhere... and I feel obligated to say that Rebecca Linares scene is one the hottest of the year. For me anyway. #r... more » stickman: I don't think I've ever heard of someone, especially a porn star being captivated by a porn movie script before. I mean seriously, a porn script? I'm ... more » fragile: Riley STEELE rides War Machine? no warpaint? no raggery? #warmachine more » offred: These Chick-fil-A ads are really getting subversive. #cosplay more » offred: Is the British bra-sizing system the same as in the US? Otherwise, I can't think of anywhere I've been where it would even be plausible that the avera... more » offred: Masturbating to Mac products is a well known phenomenon. Why do you think they all used to be white? #amateur more » FrankN.Stein: Good thing is - Heroes won't last forever and I don't see a major career for her afterwards - which means, giving the willingness to pose for sexy pho... more » -
#popshots
Popshots of the Week! Cheeks And Geeks Edition
Pockets of Porno-Americans popped up across the Los Angeles Basin this week to tweak the bums of supervllains, run in traffic, and get their asses beat with crops and flanges. More than anything, it reminded us that an open bar and Bobbi Starr go great together. More » -
#tehinternets
Because everyone else is doing it, the next version of Firefox will contain a "private mode" for all your porn browsing needs. (Although true Mozilla fans know that this has been possible for awhile now.) Of course, we don't understand why you would want to erase your porn surfing history anyway—how would you remember where are all the best smut is? (techcrunch.com) -
#geeks
Advance tickets are on sale now for the Arse Elektronika conference in San Francisco later this month. You know—the one where nerds and geeks gather to build their own kooky DIY machines and then fuck them? (monochrom.at) -
#hardcore
Flesh Flicks: Revenge Of The Nerd
Nerds! They never know how to say the right thing around women. Take this guy in the glasses—the specs clearly indicate that he is "complete nurd," of course—who simply tries to say something instructive (i.e., nerdy) to this young woman, but of course he says it in the wrong language and offends her. Her only recourse is to fuck his brains out, because nerds are afraid of sex, so that's really the only way to teach them a lesson. It's true! The next time a nerd says something awkward to your face, give him (or her) some head and you'll find they change their tune pretty darn quick. More » -
#superheroes
If Iron Man, The Hulk, Batman, Hellboy, Indiana Jones, Maxwell Smart, and Carrie Bradshaw can't satisfy your superhero fix this summer, here's one more thing that might help: 50 pictures of hot chicks dressed like Wonder Woman. Trust us, though—that "tie me up with your golden lasso!" pickup line never works. (bamkapow.com) -
#dildonics
"A Series Of Controversial Dildonics": Think Globally, Fap Locally
San Francisco's annual Arse Elektronika events sees the sexiest of the geeky (or the geekiest of the sexy) trying to outnerd each other with fabulous sexual inventions that are impractical, implausible, and exactly what you want for Christmas. It's also a great way for tinkerers of this sort to experiment with new and wacky ideas. Like, say, a vibrator that's hooked up to the U.S. Geological Survey and only buzzes when there's an earthquake somewhere in the world: you just plug it in, turn it on, and ... wait for a completely unpredictable natural disaster! Only trouble is that when your own "Big One" finally arrives, it's tempered by the realization that a building might have collapsed somewhere with people trapped inside. Talk about a buzzkill.
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#computers
The Teeny Weeny USB drive would the perfect place to hide your porn if your porn collection didn't require more hard drive space than the Library of Congress. And you can save the jokes about "pulling out early," because they made that one already. (teenyweenydrive.com) -
#science
Ignorance Is (Literally) Bliss?
Researchers say that smart girls don't have as many orgasms because they over-think everything. Or maybe dumb girls are just so happy to get laid that they don't know the difference? (thesun.co.uk) -
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#television
"The Uncanny Valley": Why Porn Video Games Suck
As readers of this site know all too well, there have been many, many, many attempts to meld interactive video games with hardcore porn, and despite the occasional interesting result it's been pretty much a total failure. Why is this such an impossible task? (Besides a lack of money, creativity and raw computing power?) It has to do with a little rule of animation and robotics known as the "Uncanny Valley." What is that exactly? Well, last week's episode of "30 Rock" provided the clearest, most succinct explanation of the concept that we've heard yet—by breaking it down into a "Star Wars" metaphor, of course. See why your dream of fighting off an alien invasion while boning 3-D Hillary Scott clones is never meant to be. More » -
#geekery
Steampunk Masturbation: Jerkin' It Very Old School
Are you familiar with that whole "steampunk" thing all the kidz are talking about? If so, congratulations—you're a nerd! Fortunately, we love nerds around here and that's why this video tickled (or maybe abused) our various bones. For the uninitiated, steampunk fans are into reading and writing about and even building old-timey technological contraptions that may not be as convenient or cheap (or useful) as your fancy modern doo-dads, but they sure look cool on a shelf in the den. (If you still don't get it, read more Boing Boing.) Well, online nerd leader Merlin Mann has taken this aesthetic to its logical conclusion,with his own homemade steampunk onanism device, modeled after the "masturbatory sketchbook" of H.G. Wells (the "Leonardo Da Vinci" of jerking off). Yes, it's expensive and heavy and very, very painful to use, but fapping with this will make you so totally punk! Steampunk that is! Dig the old world, "artis-anal" craftsmanship below. More » -
#science
Scientists discover that most technological advances develop because somebody, somewhere just wanted to get off. One doc says: "Nothing shocks me now, although I'm frequently surprised at how ingenious people are in order to obtain sexual satisfaction." To which we say ... um, duh. (vnunet.com) -
#geeklove
Mac Or Windows: Who Spends The Most On Sex Gadgets?
Because Fleshbot staff meetings frequently devolve into all-out flogging battles over who is running the superior operating system on their laptop, we often wonder which brand of computer attracts the kinkiest, freakiest and perviest users. Well, UK sex toy emporium LoveHoney decided to find out through a totally scientific study of their online customer base. The verdict? More » -
#sexygeeks
Exclusive: Nerd Girl X Talks Nerdy To Us
There's no shortage of 1337 lust around the sekrit underground Fleshbot colo where we keep the fembot interns in training, but give us a little whiff of explicit girly geekery and we're all over that nerd babe action almost faster than the girls at Nerd Girl X can make a resplendently retro joystick disappear. Oh, and they've also got cute geek lust comics, articles, a shop, and a roster of girls who think geek in creative sets from games to cosplay. We made some small talk with the h4wt amateur paysite about port sniffing and exchanging packets, and got an exclusive gallery just for you, after the jump. (And if you didn't understand much of what I just wrote, just go look at the nerdy hotties sharing all their warez with us after the jump.)
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#nerds
If you've ever wondered what it takes to work your way into the pants of certain Fleshbot contributors, here's a hint—find your local Apple store ... fast. (Don't worry, Windows fans. Some of us are still PC compatible.) (Gizmodo) -
#craigslist
We're pretty much dyed-in-the-latex, nerdc0re leg humpers and geek-lusters around these parts, so we're lees impartial to judge when an olde-skool nerd posts to Craigslist for a little companionship. Unless it's a spoof, but we're not so sure... Though we hope Mr. Stallman finds the free (extra soft) software sweetie he desires with all the necessary ports and apps, regardless. (boston.craigslist.org) -
#avn2008
Postcards From Las Vegas: Saying Goodbye To All That
As Saturday afternoon fades into Saturday night pre-Awards show madness, the AVN Expo takes on a certain lugubrious quality. Booths are starting to come down, pornstars and fans (and press) are worn down, and things are winding down for our 2008 coverage. Don't be too sad—there's still lots more to come, both from the Awards show itself and our grab bag of leftover goodies, but for now we'll leave you with these parting shots from the convention hall. We've lost some of our good health, probably a bit of our sanity, and all sense of time and space (it is still January, right?) from spending the last four days in this climate-controlled fleshy wonderland ... but we wouldn't have passed up this weekend for all the melon spray in the world. We hope the big winner was you. More » -
#video
Oh, Brandi Belle ... thank you for making many a skinny geeky nerd guy's fantasy come true this holiday season. If only we shared a locker room with gals like you and your friends when we were in school, we totally would've dropped the soap in the shower a lot more often. (brandibelle.com, via yourdirtymind.com) -
#babes
Here's a nice collection of all the incredibly hot (and occasionally green) women who probably made out with Captain Kirk on the original Star Trek series. Now you know why sexually frustrated nerds are so sexually frustrated. (Flickr, via Boing Boing) -
#nerds
Can you really trademark the term NSFW? It doesn't really matter to us either way, because if you're reading this right now you've probably already been fired. (Valleywag) -
#geekery
We agree with XFanz that this video would probably be a lot funnier if we didn't know for a fact that there really are actual girls out there who like "Star Wars" and comic books and who also like to fuck. Crazy, but true—put down that 20-sided die for a moment and you might actually notice one. (xfanz.com) -
#geeks
Our nerdy Gizmodo brothers forgot to tell us about their contest to find the most inappropriate place to be reading a tech blog. We would have held our own competition here, but we just assumed that every single entry would look like this (and would be completely appropriate, of course.) (Gizmodo) -
#geeks
The Nerdcore calendar has become such a big deal that it even has its own launch party—in the back of a comic book store, of course. No offense, but we're guessing that place doesn't see a lot of naked babes very often. (destructoid.com) -
#aliens
Looking for some hot girl-on-blue alien girl action? Kotaku has a look at the new "Mass Effect" lesbians in space adventure and well ... let's just say it ain't exactly "Titanic." (Kotaku) -
#bondage
Electric Bondageland: Building The Better BDSM Gear
One of our favorite things about this job is seeing the incredible ingenuity that people will employ in the neverending struggle to get themselves off. It's seems like a pretty straightforward task, but that has never stopped nerds, geeks, tinkerers, crafters, and OCD sufferers from adding as many bells and whistles to the process as they can—usually after designing and building the bells and whistles themselves. More » -
#geeklove
Revenge Of The Nerdcore Babes
What's our favorite new trend in video games? It's not the expansive multiplayer online environments or cooperative fantasy adventures. It's not even the cooler graphics and wireless remote controls. It's hot girl gamers who love to drape themselves in the actual consoles and games and send the pictures out over the interwebs. (Besides how can you tie someone up with a wireless controller?) Well, the nerdcore babes are back for more and we have to thank the boys over at Destructoid for sharing an exclusive bonus photo with us that you can see after the jump. We're not exactly Nintendo experts, but we are pretty sure you're not going to find any ducks to hunt in there.
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#japan
We don't really understand the how or why or what of this naughty French maid (made in Japan, natch) computer case, but we are told that she's not wearing panties, which we think is something that everyone can easily grasp. (akibablog.net, via Kotaku) -
#science
Scientists try to unravel the mystery of the perverted pond scum that has survived 80 million years without having sex. It's a twisted crime against nature if you ask us. (telegraph.co.uk) -
#hype
So how big is the Halo 3 launch this week? Big enough to get Suicide Girl Alaina dressed up in some insanely detailed futuristic battle armor—before promptly taking it off, of course. Anything else we can do to help you work through your Master Chief hostage/rescue fantasy issues, we're here to help. (Kotaku; more @ suicidegirls.com) -
#toughdecisions
Would you think of less of us if we told you we can't decide which of these video game developments is more awesome—the new "Mass Effect" game featuring a potential female-on-female humanoid alien action or ... a Star Wars game that lets you swing the Wiimote like an actual lightsaber? We'd hate to lose our street cred among ... Jedis? Pervs? Argh! (Kotaku) -
#nerds
Do you have a sex fetish ... from the future? (Cue eerie music.) And can premature ejaculation still happen if you're banging someone at the speed of light? (wired.com) -
#dubiousstatistics
All those surveys that say men have twice as many sex partners as women are very interesting, even if they're, you know ... mathematically impossible. Strap your nerd hat on, this could get messy. (iht.com) -
#niceputt
The new video game "Hot Shots Golf 5" comes with super-terrific wind action giving you ample opportunity to practice your upskirt shots. Not that any of you would care about a silly game ... no, sir. (Kotaku) -
#video
Olivia Munn's Hot Beef Injection
Olivia Munn holds a strange power over the geeks of the world. As co-host of G4's "Attack of the Show!" she comes into their homes to tease them with informed talk of video games, sci-fi movies, and comic books and just generally frustrates them with her nerdy hotness. The upside (or maybe downside for her) is that any time she does anything remotely sexy—like say, dress up as Wonder Woman or Princess Leia—fanboys everywhere go into spasm of joy and start flooding teh internets (and our inbox) with tributes. Not that we're complaining about having to watch slow motion remixes of Miss Olivia swallowing an airborne hot dog slathered in mustard. There just aren't a lot of girls out there who could wear the crown of "wiener champion" so effortlessly. More » -
#events
We missed out on ComicCon in San Diego this year—our codpiece was at the cleaners—but lots of crazy, hot ladies did show up dressed like who knows what. What's a nerd to do? (Besides bend over and let a sexy nurse shove a rifle up your butt, we mean.) (complex.com) -
#parody
Get On Board The Math Bus
We wish we'd thought of it first: hop into a van, drive around looking for hot math geek girls, and lure them into the van to go down on all of our outflow columns, make them do math in their heads, and then go looking for the next willing subject. (Sound familiar?) That's just what the Math Bros. have done in Math Bus, a short film now in the lineup at SXSW's Click, an annual event showcasing online and mobile video content. Before you get too excited, though, know that we have it on good authority that the girls in this clip are actually professional hardcore math stars and have done explicit taxes in, like, a zillion other videos—but don't let that spoil the fantasy. Totally SFW, unless your workplace expressly prohibits taxkakke. More »
