Fleshbot: straight, mainstream

Wei Tang Twists Hearts, Legs In "Lust, Caution"

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:30:01 EST

The ten minutes of sex contained in Ang Lee's "Lust, Caution" reportedly took over 100 hours to film. Oh, also there's a captivating story about Chinese university students attempting to assassinate a high-ranking official of the puppet government.

We know this movie came out a couple of years ago, but many people weren't willing to sit through hours of intense, emotional plot to see a few scenes of intense, emotional sex. So in the spirit of instant gratification, we thought you'd appreciate a sample of the mind/leg/penis-bending tantric insanity that went down in theaters everywhere. Later, if you'd like to see the whole thing, you're more than welcome to. It's very good. (And there's more sex!)

· "Se, jie" (2007) (imdb.com)
· Lust, Caution (celebcap.net)

Gaspar Noe To Make "Joyful Porn Movie"

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Michael Winterbottom, John Cameron Mitchell, Vincent Gallo, Peter Greenaway—add Gaspar Noe to the list of mainstream directors looking to make movies featuring explicit sex. Should we let him know it's not shocking anymore?

· Gaspar Noe goes hardcore (screendaily.com, thanks J!)
· Thumbnail: The infamous "Brown Bunny" blowjob

"The Auteur"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:00:00 EST

Porn director Arturo Domingo sits in a motel room watching critics on television discuss and eviscerate his latest picture. His sadness is palpable. But Fleshbot readers know that in porn, bad publicity is an oxymoron.

The Auteur

Studio: Tigard Film Society
Director: James Westby
Cast: Melik Malkasian, Katherine Flynn, John Breen, Michael Fetters, Victor Morris, Katie O'Grady, Tyger Hudson, Denise Dubois, Tony Marcellino, Holie Barker, Loren Hoskins, Casey McFeron, Ritah Parrish, Bryan Coffee, Viva Las Vegas, Malice 666, Scott Belllomo, Leslie Taylor, Cara Seymour, Ron Jeremy. Music by Jason Wells.

Review by: Gram Ponante

In an alternate universe where porn directors are feted with retrospectives, where their films are officially selected at festivals, and where there is enough money (or concern) to chauffeur these directors from the airport, celebrated porniste Arturo Domingo arrives in Portland.

The conceit of "The Auteur," as evident from its title, is that the people who make porn movies are taken as seriously by the public as the auteurs take themselves. And that is an old joke. But what is new and beautiful about this 2008 film by James Westby, starring the dedicated, dead-on Melik Malkasian, is that the joke is a jumping-off point for a poignant and quirky tale of Redemption in the Pacific Northwest.

Domingo is a Spanish-born, USC Film School-educated porn auteur with hauteur. Malkasian plays him throughout his career, as a wild-haired avante-gardist framing popshots with his hands, putting an "h" in front of every word that otherwise begins with a vowel, and sporting dark glasses and turtleneck in his Late Period.

"The Auteur" finds Domingo at a low ebb. Sure he's the subject of a film festival, but his career has tanked. He has parted from both his greatest collaborator - Frank E. Normo, the Kinski to his Herzog - and his wife, Fiona Hannigan, whom he drove away with his jealous artist's rages.

Normo, played by John Breen (a ringer for the adult world's Rod Fontana), was Domingo's go-to dude for epics such as "Five Easy Nieces," "Requiem for a Wet Dream," and "Broadway Danny's Hos," with each of these porn adaptations excerpted with humor and skill.

But Domingo's excesses and paranoia overwhelmed him during the filming of his magnum opus, "Full Metal Jackoff," in which Ohio stood in for Vietnam and Normo stood in for Domingo with the latter's wife. Domingo loses them both after this "Magnificent Ambersons" of his career, and now, with the ever-bankable Normo out of his life, Domingo cannot return to glory with "Gang Bangs of New York."

While Domingo rediscovers himself at this crossroads, we discover Portland, photographed lovingly, and with a soundtrack by Jason Wells worthy of "Juno" by way of Wes Anderson.

One great achievement of "The Auteur" is that Westby parcels out who plays what for laughs, so Katherine Flynn's Fiona gets a bright and complex performance for her reel.

Another is the film's resistance to becoming self-aware, which tempts everyone from Christopher Guest's ensembles to Woody Allen's. Instead, "The Auteur" takes an oft-parodied business and allows it just enough face time to let the audience decide for itself how silly it is.

In the end, Domingo only gets back one of his great loves, and the bittersweet finale is like a little death.

· "The Auteur" (theauteurmovie.com)
· Buy "The Auteur" (amazon.com)

Even Bad Movies Can Have Good Sex

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:30:00 EDT

It's a sad fact of life that the quality of a movie's sex scenes bears no actual relation to the quality of the movie itself. In fact, as anyone who has ever subscribed to Cinemax can tell you, some of the best sex scenes can only be found with very generous use of the fast forward button. This post from Nerve is a mini-salute to boring, slow, overwrought and downright awful movies that also include footage of two hot people getting on. Or failing that, Ben Affleck. Enjoy one of the only highlights of that Oliver Stone classic "The Doors" below. (Audio warning; video starts automatically.)

. . .

· Top 5 Sex Scenes From Bad Movies (nerve.com)

More "Porno" Hype: Kevin Smith Finds Our Weakness

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:15:47 EDT

Because we (and everyone else on the planet) are suckers for anything with the word "porno" in the title, we will probably end up seeing Kevin Smith's upcoming film about two lifelong friends who turn to the always lucrative world of amateur porn to solve their money issues. The "restricted" trailer is now online—which sadly does not mean that you get a shot of Elizabeth Banks naked—and it did make us chuckle, even if we also learned that movie has avoided an NC-17 rating. (Which means you won't get to see Elizabeth Banks fucking either.) So even if "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" is not an actual porno, it may have some redeeming qualities anyway. (Like Elizabeth Banks in her underwear, maybe? Come on, you gotta give us something!)

. . .

· "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" (zackandmiri.com)

Previously: "Zack And Miri" Make A Porno Promo

Hulu Video Finds Its Niche: Free Boobies For Everyone!

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:54:34 EDT

Do you Hulu? Well, unless you're a fan of old "The A-Team" reruns, you probably don't spend a lot of time on NBC Universal's copyrighted video service. You're probably also not a 13-year-old boy, which it turns out is a big chunk of their audience. Why do you suppose that is? Well, take a quick look at the top 20 videos on the site this month and you'll start to understand more about Hulu and it's users. Almost every clip involves nudity, a sex scene, or gratuitous boobies. Sometimes all three! (Which is not necessarily porn, by the way, even if that does make a good sensational headline.)

It's kind of disappointing, because searching through mainstream movies for even a hint of bare breasts is a time-honored tradition of porn-deprived youths everywhere. But now thanks to the internet, that process has been become streamlined and embeddable. No more renting crappy movies out of the bargain bin or staying up past 3 A.M. to try and catch a glimpse of Melanie Griffith's breasts on Cinemax. Movies like "Animal House" don't even get made anymore, because they have no reason to exist. These kids today just don't know how good they have it

The again, the clip below will save you from spending $9 on "Hitman." So it's not all bad.

· "Why Dudes Love Hulu: Free Porn" (alleyinsider.com)
· Hulu - Most Popular Movie Clips (hulu.com)

Watching good sex in a movie is good, but...

Jonnobot — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:55:09 EDT

Watching good sex in a movie is good, but watching bad sex in a movie can be really, really bad. Perversely, however, watching The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema as chosen by the experts at IFC.com and Nerve can be pretty good too ... unless you try to watch them all at the same time, in which case you'll probably just get a headache. (nerve.com)

OMGG Angelina Jolie is like totally naked...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:25:45 EDT

OMGG Angelina Jolie is like totally naked in this movie trailer!!!1! Except all you can see is her back. Someone wake us up if it turns out she goes full frontal when the movie comes out, k? (usmagazine.com)

Who Will Survive "MILF Island"?

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:55:39 EDT

Last night, America was glued to its televisions for the season finale of everybody's favorite reality survival show, "MILF Island". (OK, so you actually had to watch the return of "30 Rock" to find out what happens when you put 20 hot mommies and 50 eighth-grade boys on a deserted island with no rules. but it was still exciting.) Who will survive the gauntlet at Erection Cove? And who will be forced to hang up her bikini top while someone else is crowned queen of all the moms that young men want to ... you know? You'll just have to tune in and find out.

· MILF Island: 30 Rock (watch the whole episode @ hulu.com)
· MILF Island T-Shirt (nbcuniversalstore.com)

Remembering "Dewey Cocks" (Er, "Cox")

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:31:32 EDT

It had been a long time since we'd seen a movie in an actual theater that made us wish we had pause and rewind buttons on our armrests until we saw "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" a few months ago. Not so we could hear the jokes again—which were ok, but not that memorable—but because the film contained an impressive (if brief) bit of nudity ... including full frontal penis, which is pretty much unheard of in a Hollywood film. (Yes, it's in the title, but we didn't think they would actually show it.) Now that the DVD is out, we finally had the chance to admire everything in detail ... and no angry ushers have to get involved when we try the old "hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket" trick.

· "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" (imdb.com)
· Clip via Upcoming Nude Scenes (upcomingnudescenes.net)

Full-Frontal Movie Nudity: We've Got Bush

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 14:10:03 EST

Full frontal is like the Holy Grail of movie nudity—elusive, thrilling and occasionally just a myth. Yet, a simple glimpse of below the belt flesh will also make you feel young again, mostly because Hollywood seemed to do it best in the 80s and 90s when on-screen nudity was a lot more precious. (Or maybe we were just going to the wrong theaters?) Check out the Uber blog's video retrospective of some the best historical examples of this phenomenon and ponder if this classic "Revenge of the Nerds" moment would have as much impact today ... or if the famous punchline would even make sense to today's bare down there generation.

· Top 10 Female Full Frontal Nude Scenes (uber.com)

Instead of complaining about sex scenes...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:28:13 EST

Instead of complaining about sex scenes we don't like, we prefer to reminisce about Hollywood sex moments that were actually worth remembering—or those moments that made absolutely no sense.

We've always felt that a nude scene is like...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:34:16 EST

We've always felt that a nude scene is like pizza (even when it's bad, it's still pretty good), but the editors of Paper magazine have listed what they consider to be the worst movie nude scenes of all-time, which basically means any scene involving someone they find unattractive. Not listed: Anyone who works at Paper magazine, because no one would pay them to take their clothes off on film. (papermag.com)

Nuts Goes To The (Topless) Movies

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:39:40 EST

Even though we watch a lot of hardcore movies where tits are a dime a dozen, there's still something a little bit thrilling about seeing an actress pop a boob or two out in a mainstream Hollywood movie. Maybe it's because it's more unexpected or the women are (sometimes) more famous—or maybe it's just because a naked breast is a naked breast and no matter how you're seeing it, it's still cool. You should ponder these great unknowables while admiring Nuts magazine's screen capture skills in their latest cover feature, "100 Topless Movie Babes." The gals are presented in no particular order, so no fighting over who deserves the Academy Award for Best Lighting, Most Jiggle, or Best Set Design. And yes, the magazine does make a "Golden Globes" reference so that's already been taken care of for you.

· NUTS Presents 100 Topless Movie Babes (dailypoa.com)

Elisha Cuthbert Naked! (Or Not)

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 11:17:08 EST

Do these look like the pert, young breasts of a bright, young movie starlet? That's the question on everyone's mind as they look at this clip from little-seen indie adventure, "He Was A Quiet Man." The movie stars a very creepy-looking Christian Slater and a very paraplegic-looking Elisha Cuthbert, and this pair of tits that may or may not belong to her. Consider the fact the she has thus far managed to go an entire career—including two hours playing an actual pornstar—without taking her clothes off and combine that with some rather suspicious edits and the general consensus seems to be those are not authentic Cuthboobs. Still, if you watch the video below and use a little imagination it does create the illusion of seeing her naked ... and isn't that what movie magic is all about?

· Elisha Finally Nude? (joblo.com)

Previously: Natalie Portman's Ass Revealed (Again)

Every movie should strive to have a good...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:26:17 EST

Every movie should strive to have a good D-list actress in the cast. Did we say D-list? We meant D-cup and this video showcase will help explain why. (uber.com)

Mainstream Sex Watch: Marisa Tomei Wakes The "Dead"

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:31:52 EST

Much like George Costanza, we've long held a torch for Marisa Tomei and just assumed that if only we could meet she'd find our particular "type" sexy. She's a little older and we're a little wiser, but we're still glad that she finally found a movie role that allows her a significant amount of time to walk around naked. Footage from her new-ish film "Before The Devil Knows Your Dead" has been passed around the webs quite a bit lately, but we think just about every frame of her nakedness has been captured in this Egotastic post in both video and still form. Of course, in this instance "Marisa Tomei nude scene" also means "Philip Seymour Hoffman nude scene," but beggars who still own "My Cousin Vinny" on VHS can't be choosers.

· Marisa Tomei Nude Videos from Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (egotastic.com)

Top Ten Horror-ble Nude Scenes

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:45:46 EST

There's one thing that all good horror movies do well: they get aspiring young movie starlets to take their tops off. Low-budget slasher flicks may or may not provide scary thrills, but even the most third-rate, half-assed horror film will find a way to get at least one actress naked before spraying her body in fake blood. A few of the better ones actually manage to work the boobs and sex in the plot, so that it's not quite so obviously gratuitous. One of our personal favorite moments is Eurobabe Anna Falchi boning Rupert Everett on top of her zombie ex-husband's grave in "Cemetery Man," but most of the other choices on this list of the ten best horror nude scenes hold their own. Seriously, if you cast Jenna Jameson in a gory mainstream flick is there any chance she's not going to take her clothes off?

· Anna Falchi - Cemetery Man (metacafe.com)
· The 10 Best Horror Movie Topless Scenes (uber.com)

Porn Valley Dispatch: I Am Porny Monster

Gram Ponante — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:26:45 EST

Not since a Gina Lynn poster showed up in the back room of the Bada Bing has pornic memorabilia been so immortalized as when the last man on Earth chatted up a mannequin under Joanna Angel's watchful gaze. Opening weekend attendees of the Will Smith zombie/apocalypse vehicle "I Am Legend" were thrilled to see Joanna Angel's "Porny Monster" featured in the background of a scene in Tower Records, which had its own apocalypse prior to the movie's release.

Angel derived a sense of peace from the product placement: "It's nice to know that when the world ends and everyone turns into vampire things that my movies will still be sold," she said.

· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
· "I Am Legend" (warnerbros.com)
· Order: "Porny Monster" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: The Babes of "Porny Monster"

Hollywood Sex Scene Database: Never Rent A DVD Again!

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:07:17 EST

Ever since "Knocked Up" turned Mr. Skin into a household name, the rest of the world is now aware of what horny internet hounds have known for years—the days of renting movies and sitting through the entire thing just for that 15-second glimpse of your favorite actress' boobs are over. And thanks to the current state of online video, not only can you learn exactly what moment to fast forward to—you don't even need the actual movie anymore! Just find a site like Nerve's new Hollywood Sex Scene Database and see a wide array of mainstream films boiled down to their T-and-A-filled essence Even though it's far from complete, the database is free and it includes most of your more well-known fleshy moments like this notorious glimpse of Mickey Rourke and Carré Otis (allegedly) actually doing it in the 1990 Zalman King potboiler "Wild Orchid". The mailman who has to lug your Netflix videos everyday will thank you.

· Nerve's Hollywood Sex Scene Database (nerve.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Sexy Conversations With Zalman King