Armed with only a single spoon, four bottles of lube (in Dulce de Leche, Chocolate Orange, Mojito Peppermint, and Pomegranate Vanilla), and a video camera, we took a chance and taste tested the lubes. Our findings in the video at left.

· Buy Babelicious Lube (babeland.com)

The glycerin-free, water-based lube comes in flavors like Dulce de Leche, Mojito Peppermint, and Pomegranate Vanilla—and while we can't guarantee that they taste any better than "banana," at least they sound a whole lot more fancy.

· Babelicious Lube (babeland.com)

Let's start by discussing the theory behind Wet Together. According to the copy:

His warms. Hers tingles. She applies his to him. He applies hers to her. The intimate act of touching makes the connection. The two unite, body to body, heart to heart. Two exciting sensations…Become ONE…together™.

Or, in layman's terms—one lube warms, one lube tingles; together, they form some sort of Voltron-like super unit that results in explosive orgasm. Theoretically, at least.

I started my experiment by applying the "His" lube to my partner's member. In my hands, the lube felt very warm—on his cock, not so much.

"It just feels like lube," he said.

We turned to the "Hers" bottle. My assistant applied a small amount to my parts. It felt good. He applied a little more.

It was definitely tingly. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that "tingly" is a sensation that I really like. Rather than getting me hot and bothered, it made me, well, slightly uncomfortable.

We moved on to the teamwork portion of the experiment.

Now, Wet's press materials informed me that, when combined, these two lubes would provide a heightened sensation. That wasn't quite my experience, though. Combining the two lubes made things feel better—but that was largely because it reduced the bothersome tingling sensation. I wasn't really sure that it felt better than sex sans Wet Together, however; if anything, I was slightly troubled by the feeling that certain parts of me felt a little numb.

I once attended a presentation about a product that—while not manufactured by Wet—was very similar, at least in concept, to Wet Together. Hyping the product, the presenters discussed how it would encourage intimacy and communication, encouraging partners to interact by applying the lubricants to each other, and seeing how they reacted when combined.

That's all very well and good, and a really nice sentiment. But it would have meant much more to me if the lube hadn't left me, well, feeling more detached than engaged.

But hey, that's just my experience: your mileage may vary (especially if you like tingling).

· Wet Together (stayswetlonger.com)

To really rate high, a lube should be thick but not too thick, long lasting, easy to clean up, and pleasing to the taste buds. Oh, and it's also good if it's glycerin and paraben-free—you know, so it won't give you some kind of crazy infection.

For years, Maximus has been my gold standard lube: it's water-based, glycerin-free, and has never done me wrong in the bedroom (except, sadly, when it's gotten in my mouth—the taste leaves more than a little to be desired). But now that I've discovered Good Clean Love, even Maximus has lost a little of its luster.

Manufactured by a woman-run company based in Eugene, Oregon (also the manufacturers Babeland's organic lube, Naked), Good Clean Love lube is made of all-natural materials (aloe! Cinnamon sticks!), and is free of parabens and petrochemicals. Which, quite frankly, wouldn't mean much to me if it weren't also an amazingly good lube.

Yes, kids, sometimes the hippies are right: though deodorant rocks are a bit of an epic fail, Good Clean Love may just be the best lube I've ever used. Thick yet fluid, delightfully long lasting, and, best of all, with a flavor that actual tastes okay, Good Clean Love passes all my tests with flying colors. Whatever your style, whatever your pleasure, Good Clean Love is great way to decrease the friction and make your love — or at least your lust — sustainable.

· Good Clean Love (goodcleanlove.com)
· Buy Good Clean Love (babeland.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

There were four parts to my kit: a Babeland massage candle (to get things warmed up nice and naturally), a bottle of Emerita OH Warming Lubricant (to keep the heat going), Mamba condoms (to keep you from getting, uh ... you know), and, best of all, a Laya Spot vibrator (for when you need a little extra kick). All products in the kit (with the obvious exception of the Laya Spot) are all-natural, with no animal testing or animal-derived ingredients.

I started off my evening with the massage candle, lighting it with the Babeland-branded matches that came with the kit. (A nice touch, I must say.) As the scented soy wax heats up and melts, it transforms into a warm massage oil. Though the oil felt nice at first, it quickly became sticky, leaving a less than sexy residue on my skin.

Next I checked out the lube. As a girl with a bit of experience in the fine arts of handjobbery and butt fuckery, I consider myself something of a lube snob: too often, artificial lubes are too thin, dry out too fast, or just taste really bad (an important consideration if you happen to switch to some oral action after you've lubed up your partner's privates). Surprisingly, Emerita was none of these things. It had a pleasing thickness, lasted quite a while, and tasted pretty good (at least by lube standards). Though I was hesitant about the advertised warming action—apparently generated by cinnamon bark—it turned out to be surprisingly pleasant, if a bit shortlived. During sex, the warming action fizzled out pretty quickly; though it was certainly nice while it lasted. [Note: Though my Eco-Sexy kit came with the OH lube, Babeland's website advertises the kit as coming with Emerita Natural Lubricant, so you might end up with a slightly different configuration.]

As for the Mamba condoms, it's nice to know that the non-profit that produces them is "15 times more stringent" about their testing than any other condom company in the world, they were, well, condoms. The latex was non-irritating, they didn't break, and really, that's all there is to say about them.

Finally, the clear crown jewel of the kit: the Laya Spot vibe. Small yet sensuous, the Laya Spot conforms to your curves while fitting into the palm of your hand. The easily accessible controls, which fall right under your fingers when your hand rests on the vibe, allow you to guide your body through six levels of vibration, as well as three distinct pulse patterns. For something so small, the Laya Spot rocks quite hard—I had no idea two AAA batteries could produce so much power.

A note to the phthalatephobic: the Laya Spot is made of elastomer, a soft, hypoallergenic material that's phthalate-free, and an excellent alternative to jelly rubber. However, it's important to remember that elastomer is slightly porous and cannot be disinfected so, nice as this toy is, it shouldn't be shared with any friends (no matter what they told you in kindergarten about sharing.) The Laya Spot is waterproof and can be cleaned with soap and water.

Overall, I was pleased with the kit. The products are high quality and complement each other nicely. Whether you're looking to spice up your next Earth Day or just make your love life a bit more organic, the Eco-Sexy kit is a great way to green your bedroom.

· Buy the Eco-Sexy Kit (babeland.com)

Maybe you're like new Digital Playground star Adriana Lynn and you have the kind of body that looks good in latex pants. (Lucky you!) But wearing said pants is not as easy as you might think. If you want to look your best and not become encased in dried out and cracked garments, it's important to keep yourself properly lubricated—which when you think about it, is pretty good advice to follow in all aspects of your life.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Shot by Nick McGlynn/Edited by Richard Blakeley

· Zoo Weekly looks out for the environment by recycling some Keeley Hazell beach photos. Must be some kind of belated Earth Day thing. (dailypoa.com)

· If you're having trouble slithering your way out of a sticky situation because of all that Astroglide you ordered, try consulting this slick list of slippery excuses. (homemade-sex-toys.com)

· Kira Kener settles her lawsuit against Vivid, in which she claimed she got a disease from a previously used sex toy. Sterilization is your friend, people! (cbs2.com)

· We like Benny Bennassi as much as the next perv, but to describe his videos as "X-rated hardcore pornography" is stretching the truth just a bit. Sigh ... if only ... (cnews.canoe.ca)

· In France, American Apparel ads come with tits. Why does American Apparel hate America? (wetamericandream.com)

· An Arkansas man wants $20,000 because his teenage sons were "disturbed" by finding "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" in their local library. Disturbed? Is that what the kids call it these days? (nwaonline.net)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· PETA uses an innocent, harmless bunny for its own nefarious ends. Who are the real animals? (complex.com)

· If you've bought Astroglide on the web, we know who you are. Seriously, we know who you are because all your personal information is cached on Google. But don't worry, we won't tell anyone. (log.wired.com)

· So a man walks into a restaurant, and then cuts off his own penis. Yeah, there's no punchline after that. (bbc.co.uk)

· DVD sales ... blah blah ... porn industry leads the way for Hollywood ... yada yada ... we're all going broke, etc. (ftd.de)

· Australian veterans celebrate Anzac Day the best way they know how—a nude beach cricket match. They're veterans; who's going to tell them they can't? (abc.net.au)

· What's better than Molly Crabapple's Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School? Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School ... outdoors! Now that's getting back to nature. (wakingvixen.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

As we've seen dozens of times on Fleshbot over the years, human beings have a remarkable ability for improvisation, particularly when they've been backed into a corner and their options are few. These instincts are especially sharp when the goal is sex—for the horny person, no obstacle is insurmountable. Obviously, we don't endorse the following course of action the next time you run out of lube, but we do appreciate the philosophy that says sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Just watch out for those saturated fats. Sex is supposed to burn calories, not apply them directly to your ass.

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· "out of lube?" (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

In days of eld, like when Evangeline catted around the forest primeval, no one needed flavored lubricant. At Bogue Chitto State Normal School, there was no taste south of the Xiphoid Process that couldn't be suppressed with a little PBR and a shout of "Go Team!"

But times are changed in Acadie and elsewhere, and that's why we tried out several flavors of Fizz^TM Soda-Flavored Lubricant. We'll give you the first impression for free: Don't Chug It. For the rest, join us after the gap. - GP

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Since the Fleshbot editorial staff's average age is a senescent 23, there is nothing we haven't attempted. As a rule, then, the idea of masking the flavor of something - aside from cleaning it beforehand, for Christ's sake - is not something we might immediately think of. But just as some people remember the days of coding HTML by hand or making a package of Ramen Noodles by scratch, peeling them directly from the Ramen animal and casting them into cellophane, and who look at GUIs with disdain or horror, so have we learned that Fizz^TM Soda-Flavored Lubricant and its ilk might become the new way of eating someone out^TM.

Several flavors, including Cola, Cherry Cola, Lime, Rootbeer (our favorite) and Orange, were tested, both on and off the skin. None of our subjects experienced any irritation.

It was pointed out, however, that one would not make an unpleasant experience less unpleasant by dolloping flavored lube on it. To wit: if rimming someone is not your thing, no amount of Rootbeer lube will make it so.

That said, these lubes work like any water and glycerin-based lube, except they also have a fountain drink syrup flavor, so it's like eating your crew chief out on the floor of Burger King (our town's Burger King actively promoted women and those with alternative lifestyles).

We were lucky to get a full set of these marital aids for free, but each is priced reasonably at about $9 for a five-ounce bottle.

· Buy "Fizz" (premieradultfactory.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive