Fleshbot: straight, lisa ann

More Shots From Lisa Ann's Gay Debut

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 13:00:00 EST

Well, here's something you don't see every day: a topless woman in stills from a gay porn! Yes, we've got more preview pix from Lisa Ann's latest turn as Serra Paylin, in Jet Set's "Getting Levi's Johnson."

Now, we know this movie will result in the gays getting Levi...but will anyone be nailin' Paylin? Inquiring minds want to know. So Jet Set—any chance this is actually a bi porno?

· Jet Set (jetsetmen.com)

Lisa Ann Goes Gay For Levi Johnston Porn

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:45:00 EST

You heard it here first: Lisa "Serra Paylin" Ann is making her gay porn debut as (who else?) Serra Paylin in JetSet's "Getting Levi's Johnson." The plot of this one should be pretty obvious. (One more pic below!)

Unleash Your Love For Lisa Ann In The "Wet" Contest

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:30:01 EST

Are you prepared to do battle with another contest and win the hand of Lisa Ann? Oh you better be.

Not that we're playing favorites, but Lisa Ann inspires us in ways few others can. She's won America's hearts (and genitals) with her Sarah Palin prowess, but she's also a golden girl in tons of other markets: MILF porn, interactive porn, huge tit porn, and POV porn in Santa gear, to name a few.

We figured it's about time to give back to the woman who's given so much to us. How? First, watch this video of Lisa and Julia Ann getting soaked, and then...

Write an ode to Lisa Ann. You can do it however you like: poems, flash fictions, and confessions are all accepted here. For example:

Her masterpiece smile
was painted wry and private:
Mona Lisa Ann

And that came from the heart.

Post your entries in the comments section. A week from now, we'll post the winning ode, and the author will receive a free copy of Wet. Good deal, right?

We still have to hold up our end of the bargain. Last week's contest produced some pretty astounding superheroes. All of the entries were certainly Stan Lee-worthy, and would undoubtedly make for some interesting hentai (future job, anyone?).

Once again, Beaker's work deserves mention: his Muffin Man and Wanker Woman would be the perfect poster children for a (very loose) safe sex campaign.

I personally felt a strong connection with doomsaber's villain: Penile Justice's arch nemesis, Bukkakia, is a former russian kgb spy who feeds off the seed of man. By performing sexual deeds (jerking off) to her victims and swallowing or being covered w/ their seed, Bukkakia has the ability to control any man she desires. Can't you see Bukkakia making a guest appearance in "Alexis Texas Is Buttwoman"?

But only one superhero can save our world from lonely nights and Barry Manilow, and that superhero is MalzyWheels, aka Sparky Joystick:

Malzywheels - By day a mild-mannered, disappointingly sexless disabled guy in a wheelchair who never garnishes a second look.

By night he becomes Sparky Joystick - A human electrified dildo who can find any Gräfenberg spot, no matter how elusive it is.

To maintain his superhuman stamina, Sparky Joystick requires a inhuman number of Kahlua sombreros, big, jiggly tits, and a electric wheelchair battery charger.

Not many things sap Sparky Joystick's power, but his mortal enemies all know that any song sung by Barry Manilow will turn this hero, sent from the Eros Nebula, into a puddle of mush.

The night has a thousand orgasms. All hail Sparky Joystick.

All hail, indeed. We're not sure what a "human electrified dildo" looks like, but we're glad to have one around. Congratulations, MalzyWheels! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Photo of literary Lisa Ann via The Lisa Ann (thelisaann.com)

Lisa Ann And Julia Ann Are Slippery When Wet

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:00:00 EST

Julia Ann and Lisa Ann may have a last name in common, but rest assured, these MILFtastic performers are not sisters. They're just best friends. Best friends who like to make out. While naked. And wet.

In short, they're our favorite kind of best friends: the kind that fuel (and reward!) our voyeuristic tendencies.

· Buy "Wet" (tlavideo.com)

Imagine Yourself Up Lisa Ann's Ass With "Anal POV 7"

DCypher — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Just when we thought we couldn't stand another POV movie, along comes Erik Everhard (everyone's favorite Canadian) with "Anal POV 7"—and completely changes all of our minds, by using our minds' cognitive abilities against us. Bravo!

How, you dare ask? We will tell you how, my skeptical friends. He does it by showing you just what it is like to fuck beautiful stars Lisa Ann, Jessica Moore, Madison Parker, Cecilia Vega, Chayse Evans, and Larissa Dee right in their tight and tiny puckers, that's how! Ta da!

That means you, too, can know just what it's like to fuck smoking hot MILF Lisa Ann up the ass by using a little of what John Lennon liked to refer to as "imagination." That's good stuff, right? Only the best for the Beatles, and Erik Everhard, and you! That's what it's all about man—koo koo ka chew! You see, imagination gives us the ability to escape the narrow confines of our conceptual reality and transform our perceptions into meaningful sensory experiences—without ever having to leave the comfort and safety of our homes, offices, and pubic libraries.

Madison Parker is a whole lot of fun to imagine anally violating as well. It feels like you're taking a Republican Senator's daughter and teaching her a lesson in chastity, GOP style! That's how we like to illustrate our points on healthcare debate, if you know what we mean. (God, we love that bubbled ass of hers. In fact, imagining nailing it is driving us totally insane.)

Add to that the rest of this impressive anal cast, and you've got a lot of hard anal fucking to enjoy. What better way is there to get you through the rest of the week while you toil thanklessly at the nine to five?

"Anal POV 7" comes out this today from Erik Everhard and Jules Jordan Video. We haven't had this much fun since we playfully updated our Facebook relationship status to "it's complicated."

· Buy "Anal POV #7" (gamelink.com)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

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Really? "You’re Nailin' Palin"? You Betcha!

Ottimo Massimo — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

This just proves that we always love to fuck the ones we love to hate to fuck to love to hate.

You're Nailin Palin: Interactive Adventures of a Hockey MILF

Studio: Hustler Video
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Lisa Ann, Alexis Texas, Jay Lassiter, Chris Charming

In the Venn diagram of life, this movie represents the overlapping glory of Lisa Ann's strengths: she's done Sarah Palin, and she's done interactive porn. Have you done either of these things? If not, this will be a learning process. To begin with, thank your stunt-penises, Jay Lassiter and Chris Charming, for representing you so aptly.

You materialize in Governor Palin's office, where she promptly asks if you would like her to take her clothes off. If you say yes, she will. If you say no, angry red and black letters will inform you: YOU ARE NOT A MAVERICK!!! It's not as if you have total control. Try as I might, I couldn't get Sarah to put her clothing back on. I couldn't un-fuck her. Interactive porn is less like playing God and more like playing Cyrano de Bergerac: you forever strive to get laid.

And laid you get. You progress through the event tiers-teasing, masturbation, foreplay, oral, vaginal, anal-picking and choosing your favorite positions, until you finally give your stunt-penis license to cum. Once you're done with Sarah, Miss California (played by Alexis Texas) pays a visit to conduct an experiment "on the evils of homosexuality." Oh, satire! Thy name is lesbian scene.

In the Behind the Scenes footage, Alexis admits she doesn't know why she's playing Carrie Prejean, but that does not detract from her performance. Research be damned, Alexis fits in perfectly into the symphony your penis is conducting, joke and stroke. And just in case you forget which state representative you're pounding, she keeps the sash on.

Somehow, I feel that the interactivity helps the parody. Acting is reacting, and when it's just you and the jokes (and the sex), you can guffaw or groan or masturbate however you like. Overall, the humor suits Sarah. It's not that difficult to imagine the almost-VP launching dirty commands between pun-heavy innuendos. Personal favorite: when you're about to do her doggie-style, she says, "Why don't you fuck me like a sled dog so I can say I-did-your-rod?"

Of course, we can't forget to thank Lisa Ann. Her comfort in this role is apparent, and her embellishments are magical. After you share some particularly raucous cowgirl anal, Lisa Ann will smile and adjust her glasses ever so slightly. You will filibust a nut.

Why am I so into this? I don't know, but I'm positive I'm not the only one. It's been nearly a year since the election, and everyone is still just as excited by the idea of boning Sarah Palin. She's America's MILF. Years from now, future civilizations will unearth this ancient porno and realize they've discovered one of the sacred texts that make up the Cult of Palin.

Lisa Ann Gets Her Boy In "Cougar 101"

DCypher — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Wicked Pictures has been busy tracking and categorizing the many sub species of the always elusive female cougar. They've even "enlisted" the services of an expert, Professor Vonhassleburg, to get to the bottom of things.

Sure, it's an interesting gimmick to set-up a cougar hunt, but really, it's completely unnecessary. All they ever needed to do was follow adult crossover superstar Lisa Ann to find out more. If anyone knows where to find cougars in their natural habitat, it's Lisa Ann. Instead, the teacher sends a film crew to meet a healthy sample of young hot man meat begging to be devoured by these animals.

Lisa Ann, Diamond Foxxx, Payton Leigh, Persia Pele, and Raquel Devine are hungry like she wolves, and they feel no remorse for their predatory actions. Each and every one of these sexy ladies is more than willing to stalk down a studly young pup and milk the creamy white goodness out of him. Some might say it's what they live for.

"Cougar 101" releases next week from Wicked Pictures, but you can see some of what these animals did right here and now with this exclusive set of pictures captured by our gal in the field.

Lisa Ann
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Payton Leigh
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Payton Leigh
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Persia Pele and Dane Cross
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Raquel Devine and Tommy Gunn
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Swag Of The Moment: Hustler's Sarah Palin Parody Mask

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:50:00 EDT

We received our screener packet for "You're Nailin' Palin" today. Included in the mix? A "parody mask" of Lisa "Sarah Palin" Ann, to be worn by the special someone you wish to pretend is Lisa Ann (or Sarah Palin).

True, we've seen weirder (much weirder) stuff in the realm of porno promos—but for today, this one definitely takes the cake.

Who's "Nailin' Palin"? You Are!

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:30:01 EDT

Over the past year, we've seen "Sarah Palin" get boned by the Russians, Obama, David Letterman—and now, finally, even the common working man will get the chance to have his way with the Alaskan Princess.

Yes, Hustler is on the verge of releasing their interactive Palinpalooza, "You're Nailin' Palin!" Not only do you get to see Lisa "Sarah Palin" Ann getting done POV-style...you also get the chance to control the action, and see it all unfold whichever way you like best. Also, Alexis Texas joins the fun as Miss California—a detail that probably would have been a lot more interesting had this come out, say, three or four months ago, back when we actually still (sorta) cared about Miss Carrie Prejean.

But you don't have to take our word for it: check out Hustler's trailer for the porntastic accomplishment, above.

· You're Nailin' Palin: Interactive! (hustlerworld.com)

Digital Playground Provides The Ultimate Back To School With "Teachers"

DCypher — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:00:00 EDT

At long last the wait is over...almost...sort of. In less than a week, Digital Playground will release the long awaited Robby D title "Teachers" and nothing will ever be the same again...we promise you.

It seems like the girls of Filmore Bush Academy have their hands full this year...full of hard cock! Yeah, we know, pretty cheesy stuff. With clear nods to our other favorite porn movie, "Mean Girls," mixed in with knee slapping bits performed by Tommy Gunn and Evan Stone, "Teachers" may seem at first glance to be just another porn movie. "Au contraire," shouts the lovely Katsuni's shaved pucker!

For it's not really the dialogue, acting, or story line that compel us to watch this masterpiece over and over again. They do their job, however, which is to adequately set the stage for what really lures us to run "Teachers" repetitively in our DVD players until our eyes bleed and out crotches throb with a dull, persistent ache—the unbelievable cast!

You see, when you factor in all the sexy action Digital Playground has packed into this movie, along with that unprecedented all star line up, then put legendary director Robby D behind the camera, what comes out isn't cheesy at all...nay, it's pure magic...like a unicorn having sex with a mermaid!

Digital contract stars (past and present) Jesse Jane, Stoya, Angelina Armani, Katsuni, and Riley Steele go crazy in a school bus orgy that is still simply blowing our minds. We didn't think anywhere East of Eden or South of Hades would ever have such lovely visions of erotic splendor laid out in plain sight to behold.

Joining them are all-stars Jenna Haze, Lisa Ann, Mason Moore, and Angelina Valentine, who, respectively, turn in some of the strongest performances of their dirty little lives. We can honestly say there is not a single down moment in this movie, not a single scene worth fast forwarding through, and that by itself is extraordinary.

"Teachers" comes out next week from Digital Playground and Robby D. Witness a sampling of its glory in the picture below. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground and cannot be used without their permission.

Stoya, Angelina Armani, Katsuni, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Evan Stone
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Stoya, Katsuni, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Mick Blue
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, Stoya, Angelina Armani, Scott Nails, Tommy Gunn, and Mick Blue
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, and James Deen
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Katsuni, Riley Steele, and James Deen
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Jesse Jane and Tommy Gunn
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Jesse Jane and Tommy Gunn
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Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, and Ben English
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Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, and Ben English
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Angelina Armani and Mick Blue
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Angelina Armani and Mick Blue
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Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Evan Stone
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Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Evan Stone
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A "Big Butt Oil Orgy" By Any Other Name...

Gram Ponante — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Believe it or not, there were times during the day of filming "Big Butt Oil Orgy" that producers actually considered naming it something else. I'm glad they went with their butt instinct.

"I don't know," director Danny Case said on May 26. "Maybe putting 'Big Butt' in there is too much?"

But Variety is already calling the project BBOO, I thought. Don't change the name now...

The rooms of the rented Woodland Hills home were redolent of skin and sweat and oil that day as Ava Rose, Angelina Ash, Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Lisa Ann, Kristina Rose, and Kagney Linn Karter tried gamely to only fuck on the areas where a tarp had been laid down.

Now, a short two months later, we have a DVD that gets almost clinically close to the action, with nary a frame that doesn't have some slicked and abundant piece of flesh in it, either by itself or encircling a hole.

The day unfolded just as the DVD does, with introductory shots of the cast members stripping and oiling alone, culminating in a slutty slip 'n' slide.

These women were writhing in oil and each other for hours. For you. I was there. The least you could do is look at them.

· 3rd Degree Films (thirddegreefilms.com)
· Buy "Big Butt Oil Orgy" (gamelink.com)

*****

Previously: Danny Case Unveils Porn's Next Big Thing With "Big Butt Oil Orgy"

Danny Case Unveils Porn's Next Big Thing With "Big Butt Oil Orgy"

DCypher — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:00:01 EDT

Every now and then, Porn Valley comes up with an idea that is so powerful (and profitable) that it needs nothing else. No special effects, no cliff hangers, just hot sweaty oily sex with girls with huge wonderful asses.

This week, 3rd Degree introduces the world to that idea with the release of Danny Case's
Big Butt Oil Orgy." It's so brilliant, we almost can't believe that it didn't exist before.

No plot, no three to seven acts, no character arc—just that one idea, immaculately played out before our very eyes in every glorious detail our filthy imaginations can dream up, then captured perfectly, right down to the very last nook and delicious cranny.

With an amazing cast including Crossover MILF Lisa Ann, Sophie Dee, Ava Rose, Kristina Rose, Phoenix Marie, Kagney Linn Karter, and Angelina Ashe, Danny Case wins on concept alone.

We are certain that this is simply volume on—because we are praying that more (many, many more) are yet to come down the, um, pipeline.

"Big Butt Oil Orgy" releases this week from 3rd Degree and Danny Case. Check out our continuing coverage (by which we mean our hot gallery).

Previously: Lisa Ann at the Oil Orgy

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Behind The Scenes: "30 Rock - A XXX Parody"

Lux Alptraum — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:00:00 EDT

Been dying to know more about about New Sensations's upcoming porn parody of "30 Rock"? So have we. Good thing XFANZ was on the set and shot this behind the scenes video.

Cast Of "Ass Worship 11" Worthy Of Devotion

DCypher — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:00:00 EDT

If you're going to go to all the trouble of worshiping a woman's ass—a behavior Jules Jordan promotes in his epic series—it's important that you pick asses worthy of the high praise.

Otherwise, you're just looking for trouble—not to mention the headache of extremely devoted fans arguing incessantly over your casting choices (though, in all honesty, that's bound to happen no matter what. Don't you people have jobs?).

While we're sure the subject will quickly devolve into an irredeemably bottomless thread in our new and improved comments section (hint hint), we're still going to go on record and say that you can find no better examples working today than Lisa Ann, Alexis Texas, Jenny Hendrix, Kristina Rose, Phoenix Marie, and Sarah Vandella, effectively the cast of Jules Jordan's "Ass Worship 11"—and leave it at that. Now, that doesn't mean you can't find ladies with equally impressive derrieres in the industry, just that this 11th volume from Jules is a fine sampling of young and seasoned performers with the golden badonkadonk.

We've long been fans of Jenny Hendrix. That's no secret. The fact of the matter is that we are all for the idea of people worshiping her sweet sweet bubble. That's why when we saw her go airtight in this new release (that's right—she gets DP'd while sucking a cock—see for yourselves!) we just about lost our minds.

Just as impressive is the industry's most famous MILF, Lisa Ann, pulling a DP with James Deen and Eric Everhard. We were amazed to see her take Everhard's full girth all the way up her tiny pucker before taking a full on dirt pipe milkshake. Way to go, Lisa Ann!

"Ass Worship 11" comes out today from Jules Jordan Video. Get on your knees and thank God before you spank one out to these awesome images. Have a great weekend!

Kristina Rose
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Sarah Vandella
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"She's The Boss"—And We're Eager To Take Her Orders

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:30:01 EDT

Maybe we're easily amused, but we're really enjoying Elegant Angel's trailer for their upcoming women-at-work release "She's the Boss." Largely because the theme song sounds like something put together by They Might Be Giants (assuming they actually scored pornos).

Okay, we're also into the fact that there are lots of sexy ladies (including MILF Crush Object Lisa "Serra Paylin" Ann) getting rammed while at work. But the music helps too.

· "She's the Boss" Trailer (community.elegantangel.com)

Spike Offers Seven Pornstars You Can Take Home To Mom

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:30:01 EDT

Were we to bring a pornstar home to Mom, we'd probably say, "Hey Mom, meet this awesome pornstar!" Then again, our mother is very liberal (look what her daughter does for a living!).

If your mother is not quite so liberal, however, you might find some use in Spike's list of 7 pornstars capable of passing muster at your family dinner table. If you could actually manage to convince them to come home with you, that is (we have a feeling Stoya might be otherwise occupied).

· The Top Seven Porn Stars You Can Take Home to Mom (spike.com)
· Image of Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Everyone's Nailin' Paylin—Even You!

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:30:01 EDT

Sarah Palin may have stepped down from public life, but Serra Paylin is an unstoppable porno juggernaut. "Hollywood's Nailin' Paylin" is in the can, and "Letterman's Nailin' Paylin" and "You're Nailin' Paylin" are on their way. Isn't America great? (xbiz.com)

Man Eater Lisa Ann Leads the Charge In "MILF Mania 3"

DCypher — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 14:00:00 EDT

Who doesn't love hot MILFs? Cougars, that's who! MILFs get all the attention these days...but they need that love, because they're locked up all night taking care of children and husbands while cougars prowl bars looking for fresh young wiener.

Adult film superstar Lisa Ann leads the charge in front of Veronica Rayne, Victoria Valentino, Regan Anthony, Morgan Reigns, Holly West, Velvet Lick, Misty Vonage, Ricki Raxxx, Jazella Moore, Austin Kincaid, Briana Beach, and plucky April Blossom.

There can be no mistaking who the Queen Bee of all MILF's is at this point. Lisa Ann dominates both the box cover as well as her partner. She is such a fucking ferocious man eater. But hey: we already knew that. Hall prophetically warned us that one day she would cum—and boy, was he ever right. Seems almost like an understatement at this point.

The retrospective includes a number of our favorite gone-but-not-forgotten performers, MILF's who have long since collected their just rewards for their arduous labors and converted them into lunch money and school supplies. We couldn't be more grateful to see some of them again.

"MILF Mania 3" comes out next week. Check out a little of what the double disc spectacular has to offer in our exclusive gallery below. Go easy on the cougars next time you see them, though. Their time will come. You can count on it.

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Hustler Creates Jobs For You, Me, And Carrie Prejean

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:30:01 EDT

It's hard out there for the unemployed: in these troubled times, it can easily feel as if there are no jobs to be had. But we know of at least one company that's still hiring: Hustler.

Last Friday, the house that Larry Flynt built announced that it would be offering a $500,000 contract to the recently deposed Miss California, Carrie Prejean. Yes, if Carrie agrees to star in upcoming interactive parody porn "You're Nailin' Palin" (as Miss California, natch), a cool half-million dollars could all be hers. [NB: Is it a sign of the times that the value of PR stunt contracts have dipped fifty percent?]

Of course, not all of us are Carrie Prejean—but never fear, Hustler has a job opportunity for those of us who aren't former beauty queens, too. Intrepid souls with an interest in porn and good office and computer skills can apply for the job of administrative/editorial assistant at Hustler Magazine. Hey, who said print was dead?

· Hustler to Carrie Prejean, be our Miss Calipornia for 500k? (hustlerworld.com)
· Work at Hustler! (hustlerworld.com)

Hollywood Nails Palin—And We Get To Watch

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:30:01 EDT

How on earth is Hustler going to justify making a movie that involves Sarah Palin moving to LA, becoming an actress, talk show host, and then (natch) a pornstar? Don't worry: Lisa Ann has all the answers.

· Hollywood's Nailin' Palin! (hustlerworld.com)