Fleshbot Birthday Babes^TM: Amile Waters

Businesswoman and badass Amile Waters turns 24 this weekend. Did you doubt that she could survive and thrive in such an environment? No you didn't. But MGD helps, too. More »

Missy Monroe Learns A Thing Or Two

Everybody has to start somewhere and while we're guessing that this was not Missy Monroe's first foray into the realm of sapphic (or videotaped) love, it does appear to be an early, fresh-faced moment on her resume. Of course, it's really more of a training film, meant to school the young charge in the ways of strap-on mechanics. If would be nice if we could all have teachers as generous as this ... or at least as sexy. More »

Drill, Baby, Drill

This oil crisis is really hitting us hard and it seems that everyone finally agrees that it's important to find alternative sources of energy, because not only are people still paying nearly $4 a gallon for gasoline, our nation's supply of baby oil is running dangerously low. How will giant-breasted women wrestle for fun and profit without the sweet slickness these petroleum-based products provide? On the other hand, wind and solar wrestling doesn't sound like it would be very entertaining. We better to get to an offshore rig fast. More »

Nursed Back To Health

Medically speaking, it's probably not a good idea to seek health treatments from three trailer trash nurses who hold office hours in the back of van. (You don't want to know where those tongue depressors have been.) If you are in need of other services, however, they will be a tremendous help. A three-way "examination" under a dirty old tree will probably not cure anything that actually ails you, but at least it will temporarily make you feel better. More »

Not-So-Mixed Doubles

Have you been watching the U.S. Open this week? Neither have we! There just aren't that many compelling reasons to watch pro tennis these days. Other than sexy female players ... and their short skirts ... and the grunting and groaning they make when they smack the little ball ... and the sweating. But other than those very good reasons, there are no reasons to watch! Although just like this video, the semi-finals at this year's tournament will also include a brief subplot involving Peter North and a mermaid, so buy your tickets now! More »

Strap In, Strap On, Strap Out

The art of seduction is a tricky thing, especially if you get all your dating tips from porn. Normally, all you have do is unsnap a belt buckle and that is enough to get the action started, but occasionally a slow build up is required instead. Back rubs are a pretty solid technique too, but then it takes much longer—if you do them right—to go from "how was your day?" to "let's try out this strap on!" Patience is a virtue, but then again, so is a fast forward button. More »

Burnt Offerings: Viv Thomas' "Members Only 6"

While we are not the, er, house organ for Viv Thomas, we can explain covering two sequential titles in his "Members Only" series by saying that this one, confusingly, doesn't have cocks in it. Why, then, call it "Members Only"? Is this one of those Euro things like how cigarette holder-holding vamps refer to their parts as their "sex"? Don't they know what "member" means? Karen Black would know. More »

Flesh Flicks: If You Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Hot Tub

Here's a little word to the wise: never play "Truth or Dare" in a hot tub with five lesbians. You just know that there's no way you're getting out of that hot tub with your swimsuit intact ... and who knows how many toys, fingers or other things will end up inside you before it's all over? And we don't want to sound prejudiced here, but why do lesbians always choose the Dare option anyway? They're just asking for trouble that way. (Wait, did we tell you never to play this game in a hot tub with lesbians? Obviously that was a huge mistake.) More »

Flesh Flicks: Pool's Out For Summer

One of our favorite things to do on a muggy afternoon is to drag a $10 plastic kiddie pool out into the backyard, fill it with tepid water from the hose, and then boil ourselves (literally!) in the hot summer sun. If we're feeling frisky, we'll also bring some floaty toys with us. Of course, we always seem to get stuck playing with the little inflatable alligator instead of a bubbly naked girl—with a few toys of her own. That would certainly make the water a lot more pleasant. Maybe this year we'll finally install that diving board and see if that changes our luck. More »

Flesh Flicks: Foos It Or Lose It

We promise: no soccer porn today, because we found a green field, ball-kicking-related sport that's even better then whatever those swanky Europeans like to play for "fun"! Foosball is the true sport of kings—and queens—and if you have any doubt, watch this spirited match between big-boob legends Danni Ashe and Avy Scott. A worldwide championship competition like this would be bigger than the World Cup, the World Series and World War II combined! Hey, when each match devolves into a hot lesbian catfight, there's no way the public would only let this happen once every four years. More »

Lesbians vs. Lesbians

Lesbians from Lesbos are suing the other lesbians because apparently being a Lesbian doesn't mean that you're, you know ... into lesbians. Did you understand all of that? Because we've read this story and watched these videos and all we got out of it was a headache. (guardian.co.uk + bbc.co.uk, via radaronline.com)

Sexploitation Clip Of The Week: "The Dirty Girls"

Ah, the French. They gave us fried potatoes, fancy salad dressing, Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas and, of course, erotic cinema that goes way too far. (Way farther than those snooty British!) Think about it: it isn't just any foreign film that can combine lesbian shower action with sadistic marching band majorettes. They also somehow managed to capture on film the elusive art of self love—which in France apparently means making out with a mirror. Boy, they really are kinky over there! More »

Flesh Flicks: Geography Is Hot!

We don't know about you, but we think that maps are pretty much the sexiest thing in the whole world—especially if they are the whole world! Nothing gets us going like a couple of nice round color-coded orbs or maybe a topographical elevation chart with major landmarks indicated by little gold stars. Man, our computer monitor is fogging up just thinking about fingering our Rand McNally! Luckily, we've finally found two girls who clearly share our passion for well-drawn borders. Now if only we knew their names or where they were or even what language they speak. How would one go about tracking down a couple of hot and horny geography sluts? Do you think there's a map for that? More »

Flesh Flicks: Good Help Is Hard To Find

Hiring sexy maids to clean up after you isn't just a rich guy thing. Rich women do it too! The only problem is, we can't figure out who is in charge here. The woman stuck doing the chores seems to be better dressed than the one who is just lounging around—and her dusting skills aren't that hot either. So who is in charge? And how come those shelves are still filthy? Honestly, how does anyone—man or woman—ever get their homes clean these days when all the hired hands want to do is make things messier? More »

Flesh Flicks: Green Acres Is The Place For Fucking

You know what they say—you can take the pornstar out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the pornstar. Some people may like waking up to the sounds of roosters and hungry piglets, but others prefer honking taxis and construction workers. The good news is that no matter what location you prefer to lay your head—up on Park Avenue or down on the farm—almost everyone enjoys a good round of morning sex when they wake up. It's those kinds of compromises that make fake movie relationships work. More »

If you're more into femmes than feminism, maybe you can find a few good porn suggestions here. Believe it or not, lesbians aren't just in porn, they watch it too! (about.com)

Flesh Flicks: Lesbians Ahoy!

What is it with lesbians and their boats? We had no idea that putting two ladies together out on the high seas — or on a rather dingy looking river, for that matter — could have such erotic consequences, but apparently when those waves are rocking you should not come a-knocking. Unless, of course, you have a video camera and are willing to upload the footage to the internet. In that case, anchors away! More »

Flesh Flicks: You're Going To Need A Bigger Boat

We confess that this video originally caught our eye because when visually scanning a web page, the word "Fisherboat" looks kind of like "Fleshbot"—and you don't see bimbo bitches on there everyday. Still, cruising down the Mississippi with one hand on your pussy and another firmly steering a high-powered outboard motor is an impressive feat in its own right, and these girls also ... wait, is that some dude coughing in the background in the first minute? Seriously, they couldn't have done anything about that in post-production? That, ladies and gents, is why you can never trust a fisherman to make porn. More »

Flesh Flicks: In A Bind

Sorry if you noticed some sluggishness (or non-existence) with our front page today. Our behind the scenes technology gnomes tell us that our server machines were a little tied up this afternoon. We don't know exactly what that means, but we think this video is an accurate depiction of what we imagined was going on down at the data center. See, the girl trussed up on the bed represents our website's computers and the other lady is the internet trojan worm that violated them with a strapon. It's all very technical, so we won't go into the details, but all you need to know is that the internet is our dom and today was a particularly rough session. Of course, we're gluttons for punishment, which is why we'll always come back for more. More »

Flesh Flicks: Girls And Their Toys

We could give you a lengthy disquisition about the appeal of sapphic attractions or the role of female pornstars in the adult industry or even a gushing tribute about how much Janine Lindemulder meant to certain developing youngsters (Hint: A lot!), but we think that maybe just providing the title card would make the whole thing self-explanatory. "Three Lesbians and Two Double-Headed Dildos" kinda says it all, don'tcha think? More »

Flesh Flicks: Bad Justice

Those rogue cops are at it again. Others may cower in fear, but we have not been afraid to stand up to the menace of these duly sworn officers of the law who abuse their power by taking advantage of innocent bystanders. Worst of all, is how this maltreatment of suspects turns previously harmless civilians into dangerous and unruly criminals. See how this poor young girl accused of a minor shoplifting charge loses all respect for authority and in the end becomes a nothing but a repeat offender. It would be sad, if it wasn't so sexy. More »

Naked Oil Wrestling Makes Good Television Great

Even though we are huge fans of girl-on-girl action, we've never really gotten into Showtime's lesbotastic drama "The L Word." (It's on past our bedtime.) We were also under the impression that, despite a fair amount of naked lady goodness, it was pretty much just a normal TV show with lots of talking and emotions and problems solving togetherness. So why didn't anyone tell us about the Turkish oil wrestling? Honestly, is there any show on television that couldn't be improved with a slippery bikini fight between its hottest characters? If not, than it should probably be canceled anyway. More »

Flesh Flicks: Lady Justice

On those days when we're sick at home—or just broken down by the grind of blogging—we often end up watching "Judge Judy." As the defendants get paraded in and out of the courtroom and we drift in and out of a NyQuil-induced haze, we find ourselves wondering would happen if Judy really gave these defendants the business. You know, whipping off her robes and treating the offenders to some hardcore fucking and sucking action. After all, how else are those punks ever going to learn their lesson? More »

Flesh Flicks: Wonder Twin Powers

You might be initially confused at the wondrous CGI technology that allows this woman to have lesbian shower sex with herself, but upon further reflection we believe that these finely sculpted lookalikes are actually stunt doubles used to pull off the effect. Two actual movie stunt doubles, judging by the identically ripped bodies that could probably take a prat fall down a flight of stairs and escape from a fiery car crash without a scratch. That they're also available for the even more tricky shower scenes is just a movie producer's lucky bonus. More »

The Single Best Thing To Happen At The AVN Expo This Year (Maybe Ever): Three Minutes And Nine Seconds Of Hot Girls Kissing Each Other

As we mentioned yesterday, it's pretty hard to miss the Abby Winters booth at the AVN Expo this year: occupying some prime real estate in the middle of the show floor, it was designed and built in the company's native Australia and shipped to Las Vegas for the show this week. More »

Inside The Girls Of Abby Winters

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Flesh Flicks: Hot! Dog!

You've heard of vegansexuals, the folks that are so committed to not harming animals that they won't even fuck a meat eater? This video is like the exact opposite of that. Most health experts advise against eating processed mystery meat and mystery meat by-products, so you can only imagine what they think about sticking them in your hoo-hah. But hey, when you gotta eat, you gotta eat. More »

Video Playpen: Stocking Stuffers

Yes, it's been well established that "Christmas porn" pretty much just means "babes in Santa hats," but it can also mean so much more. For example, sometimes the dudes are wearing the hats! Also, sometimes there's a tree in the background! These are subtle differences to be sure, but since you've chosen to spend your Noel with us, it's only fair that we use our trained eyes to help you get in the holiday spirit. If this collection of XXXmas videos doesn't make you want to roast your chestnuts, then you, Scrooge and the Grinch will have a lot to talk about while you play with your lumps of coal. More »

Flesh Flicks: Pump ... You Up!

People seem to be genuinely excited about the return of American Gladiators, because watching obnoxious weekend warriors get roughed up by obscenely large muscle freaks is always quality entertainment. Plus, if this writer's strike holds up it will be the only original show on television in '08. Then again some folks just like hard bodies, which is how you end up with videos like this. Of course, as fit as they are we wouldn't exactly call these chicks "bodybuilders" (truth in advertising is not porn's strong suit), but they are technically in a gym, which is more than we can say for ourselves this winter. So we're not going to point our pudgy little fingers at anyone. More »

Flesh Flicks: When Janine Met Jenteal (Again)

This scene is another one of those blast from the past clips that got forwarded and file shared all over the web for years, which means there's an excellent chance you've seen it before ... but with good reason. Jenteal and Janine Lindemulder performed more than their fair share of girl/girl scenes and quite often with each other, but few became as memorable (or re-playable) as this one. It's been awhile since we've revisited it ourselves, but it just proves that the classics don't become classics for nothing. More »

Flesh Flicks Double Team: Prison Break

We read somewhere that our country is sending more women to prison than ever before and from what we learned from watching porn movies (which is how we learn everything) this isn't much of a punishment. From the moment women enter a correctional institution, they're welcomed with open arms by fellow inmates, who are quick to complement them on their snappy jumpsuits and introduce them to new friends. And the guards could not be more friendly to the new convicts, always making an extra effort to know their charges intimately. Maybe if they got this much loving from folks on the outside, they wouldn't have ended up in prison in the first place. More »

Flesh Flicks: See Monkey, Do Monkey

Imagine coming down the stairs on the morning of a undetermined, non-secular holiday and finding a giant monkey with a oversized, beef jerky-like appendage in your living room. Would you be as excited to find such a present as these two girls are? They don't hesitate for even one second when it comes to getting down to business with their new simian friend—which may technically be an "ape" and not a monkey. It's important that we get this detail right, since anatomical accuracy was obviously so vitally important to the filmmakers. More »

Flesh Flicks: Lesbian Cheerleaders Raise Our Team Spirits

When we're in a rut and the world has got us down, there is usually one of two things that we can turn to in order to get out of our funk—lesbians or cheerleaders. Then there are those magical days when we find both great tastes mixed together. Some have speculated that all lesbians may not be cheerleaders, but all cheerleaders are secretly lesbians at heart (what with all the locker room towel-snapping and showering stuff.) We don't know if that's true or not, but whenever Lux Kassidy is in the room we're ready to believe just about anything. More »