The Foundry, the advertising agency that skankified the classic character, said they "challenged the consumer's notion of what this beer was," and we couldn't agree with them more. Allegedly, the dwarves (dwarfs?) represent seven types of drunks, but they could just as easily represent the seven types of post-coital emotions. It must be some damn good beer.

If Disney were smart, they'd put all this bad blood aside and cast Megan Fox in the Ho White full-length feature (she kinda looks like Megan Fox, doesn't she?). All this press is just going to sell more raspberry ale and cartoon porn, and Disney isn't doing anything to capitalize on that. Keep your pimp hand strong, Disney.

· AdFreak.com (adweek.com)
· AdelaideNow (news.com.au)

Some of you may be wondering why Amia would change her name—especially so early in her career. Well, like so many things, it's all about the internet: Amia realized that someone else owned AmiaMoretti.com, and rather than let another person profit from her fame, she decided to change course sooner rather than later, and go with Amia Miley. And yes, she made sure to buy AmiaMiley.com, and all related URLs. Cause she's smart like that.

· Amia Miley (myspace.com)
· Amia Miley Explains Name Change (adultdvdtalk.com)
· Thumbnail: Amia MIley (wannawatch.com)

We will, of course, keep you informed as further updates surface.

· Abby Winters owner Garion Hall issues statement (somebodythinkofthechildren.com, more @ avn.com)

Yeah, that seems fair.

· Court Upholds Hacking Conviction of Man for Uploading Porn Pics from Work Computer (wired.com)

But the story doesn't end there. Never one to just lie back and take it, Janine made sure to get a new website up and running before she was behind bars. The site—cleverly titled FreeJanine.com—has the backstory on Janine's tax troubles, as well as a clock counting down the days until Janine gets out of jail. Paying members get access to tons of fresh content of Janine, all shot before her jail days (so much for our hopes of cell block erotica), plus access to Janine's thoughts from jail (apparently she's allowed to blog), and the knowledge that your membership fee is helping pay down Janine's debt to the state.

As far as causes go, it's no Free Mumia—but then again, we don't remember Mumia Abu-Jamal ever showing us his tits.

· Janine Lindemulder (freejanine.com)

Seriously, though, we're extremely disturbed by the implication that people over the age of sixty don't have the ability to decide for themselves whether or not they want to be featured in an erotic film. What next—are we going to force everyone over the age of sixty to retire and move to Boca?

· Proposed Ban on Making and Distributing Pornography Involving >60-Year-Olds and the Disabled (Including Spouses or Lovers Consensually Photographing Each Other) (volokh.com, thanks FalconryoftheEroticVariety!!)
· State puts porn pervs in sights (bostonherald.com)
· An Act Relative to Posing or Exhibiting or Disseminating Material of an Elder or a Person with a Disability in a State of Nudity or Sexual Conduct. (mass.gov)
· Thumbnail by Katrin Trautner

We're assuming that this law only effects non-consensual semen-dousing, and not, say, consensual bukkake scenes. For as our dear friend Clayton Cubitt has said, "If we outlaw bukkake, only outlaws will bukkake."

· House passes bill too gross to talk about (oregonlive.com, via The Reverse Cowgirl)
· Thumbnail star: Cum covered Aurora Jolie (premiumpass.com, via Ask Jolene)

Why the name change? Well, as often happens in the world of contract stars, the name Morgan Dayne is owned by Cezar Capone, which means that the company keeps the rights to the name, even after the actress its affiliated with has moved on to other projects.

But hey, a rose by any other name still smells as sweet, right? Digital Playground has yet to officially announce the addition of Rio to their happy porn family, but she's set up a new MySpace page, where she happily tells us that "shooting with Digital Playground has been a dream of mine since I first heard of them, and to date one of the best experiences in my life" and that "I've worked for other companies before and none could even [begin] to amount to what Digital Playground is." High praise—though, in our opinion, completely deserved.

· Rio Valentine's MySpace (myspace.com)
· Morgan Dayne Signs With Digital Playground and Has New Name (lukeford.com)
· Thumbnail via Kind Girls (kindgirls.com)

Students at the University of Maryland were all set to attend a screening of the most important porno ever made—until some state legislators caught wind of where, exactly, these pirates were sticking their swords. In response, Sen. Andrew P. Harris (R-Baltimore County) introduced a bill to withhold state funding from any public university that allowed the screening of a triple-X film, which caused university officials to cancel the screening, which in turn led to a flurry of press (including Adella, DP's director of marketing, appearing on CNN to defend the adult industry).

And it doesn't end there: protesting of the university's decision, a group of students are planning to screen the film anyway, preceding the XXX action with a discussion of free speech, and how it relates to the pride of Porn Valley.

Man, we miss college.

· Porn Flick Screening at U-Md. Still On, as Is Funding Threat (washingtonpost.com)
· Image of Jesse Jane courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Did you keep that straight? Good, because now there's a lawsuit in the mix, too. Apparently, Ms. Kardashian is none too pleased with Hustler making a pornmockery of her popular reality show—and the folks at E! aren't too pleased either. (See people? This is why you should only make porn spoofs about shows that are long past dead.)

Only time will tell how all this legal whatnot will turn out, but at least there's one thing we can be certain of: "Keeping It Up For The KardASSians" will, without a doubt, be leaps and bounds better than "Kim Kardashian, Superstar." Not that that's high praise—we've seen nature films that were more sexy than Kim's brief turn in the adult industry.

· "KardASSians" Porno Rubs Kim the Wrong Way (tmz.com)

Well, first off, the law bans "pornographic images which depict an act which threatens a person's life or would cause serious harm to the anus, breast or genitals, regardless of whether the scenes are real or acted." We're guessing this means we'll be saying good-bye to old faves like "Slaughter Disc", electrostim... and, well, most of the offerings from Kink.com, actually.

It also bans "depictions of sex with animals or corpses, regardless of whether the animal or corpse is real." Translation: no more: Necro Babes, "Re-Penetrator", or "Porn of the Dead" (and what about the furries?).

Frustrated? Angry? Want to fight back and help the Britishers get their smut? Contact Backlash or the Consenting Adults Action Network to learn how you can help out the pervs across the pond.

· Extreme porn becomes illegal (politics.co.uk, thanks MonMouth!)
· Thumbnail via Whipped Ass (whippedass.com)

The website for Gold Star Modeling features a newly added model, Jasmine Jinn, who bears a strong resemblance to the lovely Shay. Why the name change? Well, she's not Shay Jordan^TM for nothing: Digital Playground holds the trademark on the name Shay Jordan, so any work that Shay Jasmine wants to do with another company must be done under another name (just like with Chyna and the WWE!).

In any case, we're glad to see that Shay/Jasmine/Whatever is still working... a Shay by any other name still fucks as sweet, right?

· Gold Star Modeling: Jasmine Jinn (goldstarmodeling.com, via pornstarbabylon.wordpress.com)
· Image courtesy of Digital Playground (digitialplayground.com)