Instead, this fall will see the release of "The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody," a film largely identical to "The X-Files: A Dark XXX Parody," but with no "X-Files" trademark (and, we hear, totally renamed characters). But hey, as long as it involves a redheaded Kimberly Kane getting naked and dirty, does it really matter if it's "The X-Files" or "The Sex Files" or "The XXX Files"?

We thought not.

· New Sensations Draws Fire From 20th Century Fox Over ‘X-Files' Parody (more @ xbiz.com)
· Image via Kimberly Kane (blog.kanearmy.com)

Did you keep that straight? Good, because now there's a lawsuit in the mix, too. Apparently, Ms. Kardashian is none too pleased with Hustler making a pornmockery of her popular reality show—and the folks at E! aren't too pleased either. (See people? This is why you should only make porn spoofs about shows that are long past dead.)

Only time will tell how all this legal whatnot will turn out, but at least there's one thing we can be certain of: "Keeping It Up For The KardASSians" will, without a doubt, be leaps and bounds better than "Kim Kardashian, Superstar." Not that that's high praise—we've seen nature films that were more sexy than Kim's brief turn in the adult industry.

· "KardASSians" Porno Rubs Kim the Wrong Way (tmz.com)

So why did they bring the suit in the first place? Good question! One of the lawyers involved said that people should not have to be surprised by sex in an otherwise innocent video game—even if that "surprise" is impossible since one had to willfully download and install the mod in order to see the dirty stuff. It wasn't made, sold or endorsed by the company that was sued, and there was no doubt what the modification was for. Yet, even if it Take Two Interactive fully meant for this animated porn to appear in the game, why would so few of the millions of customers who bought a copy be offended enough to file a claim (even taking into account that half of those folks probably just wanted the free money anyway?) Maybe because the goal of the game is to rob, beat and murder anyone who stands your way in order to become the greatest professional criminal in the city. Who cares if you see some boobs along the way?

The one thing games and porn have in common is that people use them to act out fantasies that can't happen—and that you probably wouldn't even want to happen—in real life. As violent and sexy as they can be, they're completely harmless for the most part—and the kind of gamer who enjoys running over police officers probably wouldn't be too put out by a little animated nudity. And we don't have to remind everyone once again that while extreme violence is routinely overlooked in pretty much all media, the merest hint of sex sends certain people screaming for the hills. Those same people think everyone else will follow—but as the results of this lawsuit show, they won't.

(Oh, by the way, the lawyers who brought the suit are looking to collect around $1.3 million in legal fees for their trouble. The 2,676 claim holders combined will receive less than $30,000.)

· Hidden Sex Scenes Draw Ho-Hum, Except From Lawyers (NYTimes.com)
· Should you care about sex in video games? (cnet.com)

After Immersion won its lawsuit against Sony, Internet Services sued them, looking for a cut of the $90 million verdict. But now, halfway through the trial, the lawyer for Internet Services wants off the case and filed a motion to remove himself. So they are now suing him too, in order to force him to stay.

What does all of this have to do with orgasms? Well for starters, if you want to build and sell any sort of vibrating cybersex device, this one company can and probably will sue you for patent infringement unless you license their technology first. (Even a patent lawyer who makes his living doing this stuff doesn't want to work for them anymore, though he won't say why.) If you care about where your next buzz comes from—and who might stand to profit from it—these links might be worth a read.

· Keker & Van Nest wants to get away from client with cybersex patent rights (The Prior Art)
· Who Says Patent Lawsuits Aren't Sexy? (techdirt.com, via gadgets.boingboing.net)
· Immersion vibrates more than your games? (slashdong.org)
· Thumbnail via Slashdong