Fox Issues Cease And Desist Over "X-Files" Parody Porn

Been eagerly awaiting the arrival of "The X-Files: A Dark XXX Parody"? Don't hold your breath: thanks to objections from Fox, that title will never see the light of day. More »

Kardashian Porn Spoof Lands Hustler In Hot Water

Months ago, we reported that Hustler was shooting a porn spoof of Kim Kardashian's reality show—not to be confused with Venom's earlier porn spoof of the same subject, or, furthermore, the actual Kim Kardashian porn. More »

This Week In Frivolous Lawsuits

Listen very carefully, because we're only going to say this once: Lexus is a line of luxury automobiles put out by Toyota. Alexus Winston is a naked model affiliated with Infinity Studios (and sometimes seen in Best Of Babelogs). We're not really sure how someone would confuse the two — but apparently this was a major concern, as Toyota recently filed suit against Alexus, who's now going by Alex. Were you able to keep that all straight? Good for you! We're just hoping they don't find out about all that porn we made under the name Prius Corolla. (avn.com)

But What About The Topless Mermaids?

And in other news we didn't expect to hear on NPR, Maria Kristina Dominguez has lost her lawsuit against Sean "Diddy" Combs. Apparently, if you show up to someone's party in a topless mermaid costume, they have a legal right to take your picture and put it in a magazine. The more you know, kids! (npr.com)

A New York art dealer is suing to let everyone know that he did not have sexual relations with that famous woman and her son, like they said he did in that "true to life" indie movie that no one ever saw. Frankly, if the whole world thought that we had sex with Julianne Moore, we wouldn't think that was so bad. (newsday.com)

Josh Hartnett is so determined to convince his fans that he doesn't have sex in libraries that he's suing tabloids for spreading dirty sex tape rumors about him. But the real question is: how do we sue him for trying to put on a stage production of "Rain Man"? We would also like an apology for that. (bbc.co.uk)

Thinking of downloading an Evil Angel title from a file sharing network the next time you're feeling frisky? You might get more than you bargained for ... you know, like a lawsuit. Might be better just to find something less risky to fap to somewhere else and save your pennies to buy an Evil Angel DVD later on instead. Especially while you still can. (p2p-blog.com - thanks JR)

Remember Max Mosley, the Formula One Racing chief who got caught getting spanked by pretend Nazi and/or prison guards? Well, it turns out that secretly setting up and videotaping someone as they enjoy perfectly legal sexual fun and then publishing it in a national newspaper is still considered an invasion of privacy. Surprising, but true! (guardian.co.uk)

A judge has ordered the maker of Enzyte to pay a $500 million fine for defrauding people with their fake penis pills, which would pretty much put the company out of business. Maybe then they'll finally stop running those idiotic commercials on TV. (xbiz.com)

This Week In Sexually Charged Work Environments

A 54-year-old male exotic dancer in Ohio says he's being blackballed from gigs by his employer, Naughty Bodies (yes, you read that right), because he refused to have sex with people (male and female) he was dancing for. We'd have thought a 54-year-old male exotic dancer would've been grateful to get any gigs at all in the first place, but what do we know about what people in Ohio like to watch? (cincinnati.com, image via)

Why No One Cares That Video Games Have Sex In Them

Some of you may recall that old lawsuit involving the game "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" and the "Hot Coffee" mod that allowed characters in it to have graphic sex. That's disgusting, of course, so some lawyers filed a class-action lawsuit and forced a settlement that would allow any of the millions of innocent, outraged people who bought the game to come forward and receive justice. So just how many of these folks were outraged enough to do so? 2,676. That's it. More »

The obscenity trial of Ray Guhn Productions in Florida has ended in a plea deal—interestingly, the defendants pled guilty to financial and racketeering charges, not the obscenity ones—which means we won't get to see the "Google apple pie orgy" defense in action. That's too bad, because we really love pie. (pnj.com)

A Manhattan doctor who was being sued by three former employees for sexual harrasment (i.e. allegedly emailing them a lot of dirty pictures) ended up suing them himself for giving him an "incurable Internet disease." (i.e., having his name end up on a bunch of porn sites when someone searches for it on Google.) The case was just thrown out, because apparently the best way to keep your name from being associated with porn on Google is to not sue people for associating your name with porn on Google. That stuff always ends up on the internet, you know. (nypost.com + searchenginewatch.com; thumbnail via Doctor's Adventures

A woman in Los Angeles claims that a "design problem" on a Victoria's Secret thong caused a decorative piece to snap off, hitting her in the eye and damaging her cornea. Come to think of it, after all that time staring at their lingerie catalogs our corneas are a little worn out too. Anyone know a good lawyer we can talk to? (thesmokinggun.com + victoriassecret.com)

Max Hardcore Jury Deliberating Over Book Deal?

Speaking of pornographers in trouble, did Max Hardcore not exactly get a fair shake in his obscenity trial? Jurors refused to talk to reporters after returning their guilty verdict because they had already agreed to band together and write a book about the trial. First of all, that hardly leaves them unbiased (or ethical), and second—who the hell wants to read a book about jury duty? Isn't there some way we can get out of that? (tampabay.com + tbo.com)

An angry "Swingtown" viewer wants to sue CBS because he used to work at notorious New York City sex palace Plato's Retreat and he totally had an idea for a TV show about swingers, like ... 20 years ago. It's just like that time we said that it would be cool if dinosaurs still existed and then "Jurassic Park" ripped us off! (nypost.com)

Teledildonics And You: How One Company Could Control The Future Of Sex

Have you had a orgasm recently? Good for you! Were you helped along with some technical assistance, specifically from a little buzzing friend? Then you probably owe someone money. You see, there's a big little company called Immersion and while we're not sure exactly what they make or build, they do hold pretty much every patent imaginable in the field of haptics or "force feedback" technology (i.e., things that vibrate when you play with them.) That market mostly consists of shaky videogame controllers and teledildonics devices. For example, Immersion has filed and won a lawsuit against Sony that would prevent them from selling their Playstation controllers in the U.S.; it's currently under appeal. Of course, even a company like Immersion doesn't want to get down and dirty with people who make sex toys, so they've licensed their patents that might apply to sexual devices to the mysteriously named Internet Services, LLC—and then let those guys sue sex companies that violate them. If you thought that was confusing, pay attention, because it get weirder ... More »

Something tells us that Ashley Dupre is going to have a hard time finding a judge who can be convinced that "Girls Gone Wild"'s Joe Francis took advantage of her good name and that she deserves $10 million by way of compensation ... but then dispensing legal advice isn't exactly our strong point. (We also think she might want to consider that $1 million offer to pose for Hustler if she's looking to cash in on her notoriety before it's too late, but maybe we're not qualified to dispense that sort of advice either.) (CNN)

Speaking of bras, woman in South Carolina is suing Victoria's Secret because she claims that a "bra malfunction" cost her a job, a future modeling career, and left her body scarred. Yet another reason to only dress yourself exclusively in cured meats ... (wyff4.com)

In a not-so-surprising move to anyone who's been following the situation, it looks like SuicideGirls have apparently decided to sue former model (and permanent Fleshbot crush object) Apnea as a "competitor" along with her husband and photographer Lithium Picnic, though nothing's been confirmed by the parties in question. We're told to expect "shirts, banners, rocks and slingshots" to help broadcast her plight soon, though we're hoping things don't come to the rocks and slingshots part; this whole business is messy enough already. (Still, we'd like a shirt for our collection, please.) (livejournal.com/lithium_picnic) More »

When Lap Dances Go Wrong

A New York City banker is suing a strip club for what he says are "serious injuries" incurred during a tragic lap dancing accident. There was a lot of pain, but we're guessing not much suffering. (newsday.com, thumb via nshoneys.com)

If you think airplane travel has become unbearable, imagine how the woman on a recent American Airlines flight feels after waking up to find a fellow passenger jerking off onto her hair. Complaining about taking your shoes off at the security checkpoint seem kinda silly now, doesn't it? (startelegram.typepad.com, via Consumerist)

A prostitute in South Africa is suing her former employer for unfair dismissal—even though the job she was fired from is actually illegal. Pimping really ain't easy when you have to deal with the labor relations board too. (iol.co.za)

Were you personally offended by the Grand Theft Auto "Hot Coffee" mod? Well, the lawsuit bank is now open and even if you can't prove you even owned the game, you could collect five whole dollars for your pain and suffering. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! (Kotaku)

To the surprise of ... well, no one really, it turns out those Enzyte "male enhancement supplements" are completely worthless. Even a former executive just admitted in court that their marketing was total bullshit. We're not legal experts, but that might hurt them in their little $100 million federal fraud case. (Oh, and in case you hadn't figured it out yet, don't buy them.) (enquirer.com)

Sienna Miller already punished the tabloids for publishing full frontal shots from last movie, now she's beaten the photographer who snapped them in a lawsuit. The moral of the story? If you want to see her naked just rent one of her movies, ok? (metro.co.uk)

Word to the wise: Just because you work at a strip club like Scores, that doesn't mean you have to bang the boss for money or let the managers smack you on the ass whenever they want. Leave the sexual harassment to the customers. (nydailynews.com)

Some German file sharers are getting bills in the mail from lawyers asking for 250 Euros, because they illegally downloaded movies like the classic "Fick mich." (Yes, that means what you think it means.) That's like, what .... $0.50? So it sounds like a pretty good deal. (p2p-blog.com - thanks JR)

In what may be the beginning of the end of the golden age of free porn video sharing sites, Vivid Entertainment has filed a lawsuit against the ever-creaky PornoTube and its parent company AEBN—and is seeking over $4.5 million in damages. Enjoy those Flesh Flicks while you still can, kids! (sfgate.com; more @ AVN)

It was good day for nude ladies, but a bad day for the pervs who like to gawk at them without permission, as both Sienna Miller and Elin Nordegren (Mrs. Tiger Woods) won lawsuits against magazines that published photos that may or may not have contained their naughty bits. Next time, ask really really nicely. (channel4.com + foxnews.com + toxicmagazine.com)

Remember Ohio's controversial no-touching strip club law? Well, it's still controversial and lawsuits are still a-flyin'. They've reached federal court now and who is more trustworthy when it comes to fairly settling complex issues than the federal government? (cleveland.com)

Remember "Hot Coffee," the Grand Theft Auto sex hack? Apparently, Take-Two Interactive is finally about to settle that pesky lawsuit brought by all those pissed off prudes. The preliminary settlement offers $35 to customers who can provide proof of purchase and swear on their mom's Game Boy that the sexy mini-game actually upset them. What do we get for being upset that we couldn't get the stupid hack to work on our system? (macworld.com, more @ Kotaku)

Surely you didn't think that Amy Fisher would go gently into that Red Light District sex tape business; she's suing the company for "alleged copyright infringement, emotional distress and other damages". We'd have thought she'd be happy about being viewed as a sex symbol again after all these years, but then we're notoriously poor judges of character like that. (AVN)

A 77-year-old German man is suing his 19-year-old date for age discrimination because she wouldn't have sex with him. If we had to sue every woman who turned us down, well ... let's just say the world needs more lawyers. (spiegel.de, via dlisted.com)

"Porn napping" is not that sleepy feeling you get after "porn fapping," but is actually the practice of snatching up an old domain and parking some smut there. It's also shady and possibly illegal, but is there anything on the internet that doesn't fall into those categories? (xbiz.com)

Sure, our gal Friday Violet Blue may look all sweet and cuddly. And she is ... that is, unless you're a porn actress who insists on using the same name despite repeated requests to stop doing so, in which case you'll be served with a not-so-cuddly lawsuit faster than you can say "Shut Up And Blow Me". (Insert "no shrinking Violet she" joke here.) (blog.wired.com; thumbnail via tinynibbles.com)

If a mother can get $85,000 just because her kids watched a few minutes of hotel room porn, what do our parents deserve for all scrambled porn we "stole" during our impressionable youth? Only our inheritance lawyers know for sure! (upi.com)

In case you haven't figured it out by now, don't ever turn on your TV when staying a hotel room ... unless you don't mind that every single station carries porn. And if you own a hotel, maybe just throw all your sets out, because they aren't worth the trouble. (salem-news.com)

Two New York massage therapists are in a legal spat after one them allegedly rented out the spa they share for swinger's parties and porno shoots and also got caught using his trademark "make-nice massage" inappropriately. (We think we had one of those once.) Obviously, we just hope this story has a happy ending. (nydailynews.com + nypost.com)