Fleshbot: straight, kelly wells

"Tunnel Butts" Proves That Anal Is Never Lost In Translation

DCypher — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:00:45 EST

To be quite honest, we’re never that sure what to make of European directors working in the American porn market. For starters, they come from cultures where sexuality is viewed far more liberally, so things that we might consider extreme or super filthy tend to be little more than run of the mill sex acts to them. Such is the heavy price we pay for our Puritanical roots (though on the flip side, they do give us wonderful taboo kicks when we violate them). There's also the matter of that whole language barrier thing, previously seen with Evil Angel's "Fresh on Cock."

Such is the sad case, in our humble but esteemed opinion, with the latest title directed by Chris Rolie for Jules Jordan Video. Don't get us wrong—there's a lot to love about "Tunnel Butts." After all, the release stars big booty cuties Melissa Lauren, Kaci Starr, Jamie Elle, Kelly Wells, Adrianna Nicole, Jaslin Diaz, Heidi Mayne, Cassandra Cruz, Ricki White, and Mason Moore taking hearty helpings of cock in every hole, with seven scenes running nearly three hours (this is a massive release, people.). Still, even with all that action, the title just leaves something to be desired.

Not to sound like Andy Rooney or anything, but what exactly are “tunnel butts” anyway? Are these the butts that runaway slaves like Fredrick Douglass and Harriet Tubman once used to fulfill their sexual desires while fleeing slavery via the underground railroad? Or is this a puerile reference to the anal proclivities of our zaftig, callipygous starlets? We can’t make heads or tails out of some of these threeways!

In the end (pun fully intended), we’ve learned that, no matter how mangled the etymology of pornographic idea might get, the enjoyment is still the same—so long as it’s not Japanese tentacle porn. Rolie gives us a delicious display of riches by way of Jules Jordan, and offers up the ripe and juicy derrieres of voracious starlets out to earn a name for themselves. That's something we're grateful for in any language.

· "Tunnel Butts" (julesjordanvideo.com)

Phyllisha Anne's Hot Boxxx

Gram Ponante — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:20:11 EDT

We like it when porn stars open stores rather than just websites. The MILFy and pneumatic porntrepreneur Phyllisha Anne will cut the ribbon on Hot Boxxx, her new "clothing and more store for hot ladies in and out of porn" at 6915 Melrose Avenue, this Sunday. Good thing, too, because most of porn's hot ladies (and their boxxxes) can't find their way south of Ventura Blvd. for fear of bursting into flame ... and many do! The grand opening will feature appearances by Chasey Lain and Kelly Wells. (entertainmentadult.com)

Rubbing Elbows With Natali Demore

Gram Ponante — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:02:02 EST

In that she doesn't drive a Hummer and wear dumb sunglasses inside, I would not say that Natali Demore is Napoleonic. But she is petite and actively seeks to smother, bind, or otherwise beat the shit out of people. Still, she's very nice, despite whatever Kelly Wells might be saying here.

We follow Mistress Demore through several scenes of her "Elbow Bound Bitches" after the gap.

. . .

Even though this was supposed to be about Demore turning the tables on "Smokin'" Mary Jane and getting the latter's elbows bound, I just kept looking at their legs. Am I sick?

Madison Young looks so good being tied up that my initial reaction whenever seeing her outside a porn movie is to wrap her in electrical tape. That's probably not right.

Here Jewell Marceau amiably submits to a whupping on a hotel room bed. If I had this opportunity every time the Hilton's Internet went out, I'd travel more.

· Natali Demore (bondageorgasms.com)
· Buy "Elbow Bound Bitches" (adultdvdempire.com)