Fleshbot: straight, keeley hazell

We'd Rather Look At Keeley Hazell Than... Anything Else

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:30:01 EST

It really doesn't matter what Keeley Hazell is promoting, we'll buy in. It could be "Keeley Hazell For the Abolishment of Obscenities" and we'd only start to question the naked prophet's words halfway into burning our massive porn stash.

Luckily, all Keeley is doing is posing for PETA. As if we didn't already have a thing for activists, now we have to deal with another gorgeous girl using her nudity for a good cause. What has this world come to?

· I'd Rather Keeley Hazell Go Naked Than Wear Fur (egotastic.com)

The Debate Over Topless Sunbathing Rages On...And Keeley Hazell Shocks Us All

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:00:00 EDT

Topless sunbathing—once de rigueur on European beaches—has fallen on hard times. Last summer, we heard it was officially out of fashion, now some French beaches are even fining women who attend the beach sans top.

Fine, upstanding news source that it is, London's Sun has decided to wage a debate about the subject in today's paper. On the pro side is noted feminist Germaine Greer, who no doubt offers the opinion that bodies are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. On the con side is...Keeley Hazell?

Yes, unless The Sun is outright tricking us, the Page 3 princess and owner of some of the world's best boobs now thinks that girls should keep their tops on while on the beach. We...we just don't know what to say. Keeley, how could betray us like this?

This kind of news calls for drastic action. Readers, what say you: should Keeley be stripped of her coveted Crush Object status? On the one hand, we value all the good times we shared, and memories we made; on the other...how can we laud someone who's against topless sunbathing?

This is going to take a good deal of deliberation, we'll tell you that.

· Is it a boob to go topless? (thesun.co.uk)
· Thumbnail: Keeley in more topless times (dailypoa.com)

Keeley Hazell's 2010 Calendar Confirms Our Suspicions

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:30:01 EDT

We've suspected for a while now that our dear Keeley Hazell might have—gasp!—given up the naked girl gig, and moved into what's known as "non-naked modeling." And the preview for her 2010 calendar seems to offer confirmation.

Yes, fair Keeley—once known predominantly for her expansive, and usually uncovered, bosom—seems to be dedicated to exposing nothing more than a little underboob, with this photo (and one of her covered in bubbles) coming closest to anything approaching nudity.

Oh Keeley, where did we go wrong?

· Preview of Keeley Hazell's 2010 Calendar
(boobieblog.com)

Keeley Hazell, As She Was

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Not a day goes by that we don't find ourselves thinking fondly of Keeley Hazell, and those halcyon days when she'd take her top off in front of a camera. Keeley may never return to the lad mag life...but at least we can still enjoy these classic pictures.

Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)
Classic POA: Keeley Hazell (nsfwpoa.com)

Keeley Hazell: A Remembrance Of Times Topless

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 12:30:01 EDT

Keeley may have left the topless biz to run her modeling agency...but at least we'll always have our memories. Like that time we went on vacation to the beach with Keeley and her busty friends.

Sure, maybe we weren't actually there, and it was more like a photo shoot for Zoo than a real beach vacation—but at least Keeley was topless and frolicking happily in the waves... and that's what we'll always remember. Especially the topless part.

· Keeley Hazell on Vacation (boobieblog.com)

The View From Below: Underboobs For Everyone!

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:00:00 EST

If we had to pick our favoritest boob part, it would have to be the underboob. Nipples are nice, and cleavage is forever, but the curve of the underboob is just too delicious to be ignored.

There's also the fact that—no matter the size or shape of her breasts—pretty much every girl has a beautiful underboob. From double A to double D (and then some), underboobs are seductive, irresistible, amazing... really, we just can't sing their praises enough. So instead of us trying to think of more ways to praise the wonderful underboob, why don't we all just look at some underboob shots.

Keeley Hazell (dailypoa.com)

Kari Sweets (karisweets.com)

Karla Spice (babesmachine.com)

Chantelle Fontain (babeupdate.com)

Alexis (100bucksbabes.com)

Tindra (onlytease.com)

Eva Wyrwal (nextbabes.com)

Natalie Sparks (prissypays.com)

Daria (suicidegirls.com)

Hailie (boobstudy.com)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Ask Men Reveals The Ninety-Nine Top Women In The World (For This Year, At Least)

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:00:00 EST

Once a year, the gates of heaven open up and bestow a great gift of knowledge upon us. Yes, kids, it's time for AskMen.com's annual list of the Top 99 Women in the world.

Now, ordinarily you would have to go through the entire list piece by piece, endlessly clicking through to find out which vivacious vixens earned such a coveted honor. But because we love you, we'll spare you (some) of that pain: below, you can find out who garnered the coveted top ten slots (if you want to see the other 89, well, you can suffer the clicking yourself.).

10. Kate Beckinsale

9. Kristen Bell

8. Rihanna

7. Scarlett Johansson

6. Alessandra Ambrosio

5. Anne Hathaway

4. Keeley Hazell

3. Marisa Miller

2. Megan Fox

1. Eva Mendes

· 2009 Top 99 Women (askmen.com)

Keeley Hazell Returns, Fleshbot Rejoices

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:00:00 EST

It's been so long since we've seen Keeley Hazell's boobs, we almost thought she'd give up the naked girl gig and started focusing on modeling in clothes or something. (Or maybe her music?)

But no, gentle reader; as these photos attest, Keeley's still in the biz. Thank you, Keeley—and please, promise you'll never leave us again!

· Keeley Hazell Topless in Soccer T-Shirts 18xHQ (dailypoa.com)

Babes And Bands: A Porn Rocker Retrospective

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:30:01 EST

It has just come to our attention that Hustler cover girls Jayme Langford and Jana Jordan have formed a band. But they're not the only ladies of the adult industry to test the music waters.

Sure, they might have the best name for their music group—how can you beat Pajamaband?—but other naked pioneers have paved the way for them, including:

Savanna Samson: The pornstar cum vintner also recorded an album. Who knew you could pack so much talent into one person?

Clara Morgane: The best part of Clara Morgane's music career? She was also her very own video vixen.

Tera Patrick: Okay, it was more a one-off gig than an actual singing career, but when Tera Patrick does anything, we sit up and take notice.

Keeley Hazell: The lad mag model has already conquered our hearts, minds, and, uh, other parts, so it only makes sense that she attempted to conquer the music world as well.

Joanna Angel: And, last but most certainly not least, our very own Supreme Commandress recorded a little ditty called "Rock 'n Roll In My Butthole," which was featured on the soundtrack of a porn epic of the same name.

· Porno Babes Form A Band! (hustlerworld.com)
· Thumbnail star: Rockin' Lana Lopez (penthouse.com, via Ask Jolene)

At Last, Keeley Hazell Gets The Tribute She Deserves

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Over the years, various Fleshbot staffers have attempted to turn Fleshbot into a shrine to the irreplaceable Keeley Hazell. Although those efforts were ultimately thwarted, Keeley fanatics can finally rest easy: Fleshbot may have resisted the draw of all Keeley, all the time, but FHM has given in to the urge, setting up their very own shrine to the lovely Miss Hazell. With photos, wallpapers, and a link that unforgettable Keeley Lady Selector, it's got everything a true Keeley fan could ever want. Well, except for a way to magically transport Keeley into your bedroom—but really, that's asking a lot.

· The Keeley Collection (fhm.com)

In Defense Of Keeley Hazell (And Naked Babes Everywhere)

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:30:00 EDT

This was surprising even to us, but the earliest post you can find on Fleshbot with the same byline as this one was about Keeley Hazell. Ok, it's actually not that surprising given our track record—just a happy coincidence. She's been on our mind a lot the last couple of years, and even more in the last couple of days since reading this defense of Page 3 girls in The Sun. Apparently, some folks think that it's bad for women to take their shirts off in the newspaper everyday, but the author—a self-described "arch-feminist"—believes that, given the alternatives, topless babes are the very definition of freedom! Hear, hear! In honor of that sentiment, here's a look back at some of Keeley's greatest blows against oppression.

. . .

· Keeley Forever!

· Keeley Hazell's (Gasp) Sex Tape!

· Keeley's Rebuttal

· Keeley Hazell: Professional Actress

· Keeley Hazell's Model Behavior

· Building The Perfect Page 3 Girl

· Keeley Hazell's 2009 Calendar: These Are The Days Of Our Lives

· "I prefer bazookas to burquas" (thesun.co.uk)

Keeley Hazell Makes Everything All Right

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:55:33 EDT

One sexy Keeley Hazell video means our day is off to a good start. Two is generally considered a really good start. But the top ten sexiest Keeley Hazell videos of all time? Well, if you don't hear from us for a while, don't worry. We're just busy doing research to make sure they picked the right ones. (unibrowhumor.com)

Photographer Frank White Brings Our Favorite Babes To Life

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:15:05 EDT

Frank White is a man after our own heart. Not only do we dig his clean and sharp photography style, and his website overflowing with copious galleries of beautiful women (although we don't dig the autoplaying music), it seems that he deals almost exclusively with the buxom British lad mag girls we've come to know and love. Vikki Blows, Kitty Lea, Ami Grove, Emma Frain, Seren Gibson, Emily Scott—they're all here and looking better than ever. Even The Keeley makes a guest appearance! All of which makes us realize that for every lad mag post we've pondered over the years, there's a gutsy photographer who worked hard to bring it to us ... if you want to call spending all your time with babes like this "work."

· Frank White Photography (audio warning @ frankwhite.co.uk, via highonsex.blogspot.com)

Keeley Hazell's 2009 Calendar: These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:40:23 EDT

Ever since we got our 2008 Keeley Hazell calendar, we've been counting down the days until her 2009 edition would arrive on our digital doorstep. (Which was pretty difficult, because we're pretty sure there are no actual dates on that thing. And WTF is a digital doorstep anyway?) We didn't see as much of our gal in '08 as we would have liked, but it's good to see that her devotion to shooting topless photos in sets of twelve remains intact. Although come to think of it, it is tough that we only get to see her naked breasts once a month. Is it too soon to be thinking about 2010?

· Keeley Hazell Topless Calendar (dailypoa.com)

Great Britain celebrates their Olympic success...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:50:56 EDT

Great Britain celebrates their Olympic success in the only way that makes any sense--covering Keeley Hazell's naked body in gold paint. Someone certainly deserves a medal for that. (thesun.co.uk)

Just so it's clear, Keeley Hawes and Keeley...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 13:30:10 EDT

Just so it's clear, Keeley Hawes and Keeley Hazell are not the same person. But they are both British and they both share a penchant for being photographed topless. We're not saying there's a connection—but if you happen to know anyone else name, you might want to keep a close watch on them just in case. (celebpunani.com)

Keeley Hazell Is Right On Time

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Do you feel the summer doldrums coming on? You know, the feeling of time slowing down and being stuck in a cubicle/on the internet all day where nothing interesting happens because everyone else in the world is apparently at a beach somewhere having more fun than you? (Or maybe that's just us?) Well, whatever malady has befallen you, it's Keeley Hazell to the rescue. Her tireless devotion to your entertainment has resulted in a new photo spread in Nuts magazine and it's probably exactly what you were looking for at this particular moment. It's like she always knows exactly what to do to cheer everybody up. It's spooky, huh?

· Nuts magazine online (nuts.co.uk)

The Keeley Hazell Interview: Wherein Your Editor Receives A Rude Awakening

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:02:54 EDT

We've been following Keeley Hazell's life and times for quite a while now, but what do we really know about her? Do we really understand her? More importantly, does she understand us? We've always thought that there was a special unspoken bond between our humble selves and the beautiful bombshell, but her answers to this questionnaire make us think otherwise. For starters, she doesn't like the word "glamour" to describe what she does, which is fair enough. ("Boobie model" is probably out too, huh?) But then there's this exchange:

Do you ever wonder what men are thinking when they look at the picture in the Sun?
I do. I find it really hard to try to guess what they are thinking.

You must be able to guess a bit.

I kind of do, but then I don't know whether men would be thinking that, because it's just a picture of a girl, smiling, with knickers on. If anyone is thinking anything rude or sordid, they'd just look at porn.

Is it any different from porn?

Yes. I don't see how you could get off on a picture like that. It's a girl standing there smiling. I don't know why anybody thought of having it in a national newspaper, it's such a strange idea. [Emphasis added]

She doesn't see it? Has all our time together meant nothing?

· "Hannah Pool talks to page 3 girl Keeley Hazell" (guardian.co.uk)

* * * * *

Previously: Keeley Week: Surrender To The Hazell-Boobs

It seems like every time we mention Keeley...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:20:26 EDT

It seems like every time we mention Keeley Hazell's name an angel sends down new naked photographs to add to our wall. Do you think she's listening in on our posts?! (dailypoa.com)

Keeley Hazell, Renaissance Woman

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:36:53 EDT

Keeley Hazell: is there anything she can't do? Recently named World's Sexiest Brit (at least by the British version of FHM), she's now showing the world that there's more to her than just T&A, with the release of her very first single, "Voyeur" (which, we're pleased to see, also includes a bit of T&A). And if that weren't enough, she may also be singlehandedly responsible for the end to the cola wars once more people catch wind of her ringing endorsement of Coca Cola—why can't all products be photographed next to her nipples anyway?

· "Keely Hazell Is Back, And Topless" (fhm.com)
· Keeley Hazell 'Voyeur' (youtube.com)