AIM is Adult Industry Medical, the porn industry's embattled and cash-strapped one-stop for mandatory STD testing. How does the clinic that holds the monopoly on STD testing for the porn industry find itself needing a benefit? Well, it might have something to do with legal bills arising from increasing challenges by L.A. County and City health agencies demanding the porn biz change its condom and testing policies.

Whatever the cause for the low funds is, Kimberly Kane and Belladonna are addressing - in spectacular fashion - the real fear that, should AIM go away, the porn industry will lose its friendly clinic where everyone is respectfully referred to by one's porn name and where one is shielded from the indignity of explaining what ATOGM is in front of a room of screaming babies.

The benefit at L.A.'s awesome Busby's East (formerly the Conga Room) features the aforementioned date to end all dates raffle as well as appearances by several Wicked Girls (including a jessica drake gift basket sadly not containing jessica drake), Courtney Cummz, Nicki Hunter, Nina Hartley, and probably everyone else.

Not only that, but celebrity MC duties will be handled by Brody Stevens, Chris Nieratko, Ari Shaffir, and Steve Agee. And, almost as exciting as the thought of a 14-foot game of Footsie under your dream date table, my band, Fogelfoot, will also be there. But we will not date you. (There is also a band called The Makers, and I am assured they are nice young men.)

Organizer Kane tells us that all proceeds of the evening (which features two full bars) will be going to AIM. So, if you want Beladonna's ass to continue to be haunted by friendly ghosts, we'll see you on Saturday.

· Belladonna And Kimberly Kane's Winter Wonderland (posterous.com)
· AIM (aim-med.org)

The 17th Annual NightMoves Adult Entertainment Awards Show was in town, so Alektra Blue, Alexis Ford, Christy Wild, Derrick Pierce, Evelyn Rose, Jessica Drake, Kayden Kross, Kaylani Lei, Kylie Ireland, Mariah Milano, Trina Michaels, and Zoe Britton were all there. And some of them judged a Bikini-less Bikini Contest! Best of all, there are pictures. Give yourself ten minutes, grab a Sex On The Beach, and pretend you were there (that's what we're doing).

· The Alektra Blue picture, plus many more at Porn star pool party at Caliente (creativeloafing.com)

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Alektra Blue, Randy Spears, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Brad Armstrong, Jayden Jaymes, Kayla Carrera, Barrett Blade, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Alexis Texas, Rocco Reed, Tory Lane, Janet Mason, Mick Blue, Jerry, TJ Cummings, Bill Bailey

Review by: Gram Ponante

The screenwriter goes uncredited, but the story of "2040" has bits of everything from "Pinocchio" to "The Velveteen Rabbit" to "Blade Runner": Love something enough and it can become human.

We meet Ryan Spears (Randy Spears), who is a porn performer, just like his dad, the porn actor Randy Spears. Ryan's job is similar to his father's, but he must perform it clandestinely because of (as the voiceover tells us) the porn tax of 2015, the porn police, and because porn companies are now "corporate entities traded on the open market."

(Like in the original "Blade Runner," we can do without the voiceover.)

Not only that, but Spears must also fuck robots.

Spears and company deliver a lot of inside references and product placement to the benefit of the Real Doll company, Wicked Pictures, and AVN, whose 55th annual awards show is presented complete with bad band and fucking in the bathrooms.

The first scene, as carried off by Spears and the faulty robot Alexis Texas, is very funny and more than reminiscent of certain porn sets I've attended.

The Alexis Texas robot blows a fuse, you see, and the crew and Spears have to wrestle her to a squatting position so that Spears can aim a load into her R.O.C., or removable oral cavity. The sight of Texas kneeling there, mouth open, eyes glazed over, and bolt-ons perpendicular, is both chilling and familiar (Texas is acting, of course, like she just came off a Max Hardcore shoot).

With the Texas "doll" or "mecha" out of commission, the production enlists a robot that looks just like Alektra Blue. Her name is Mira.

But Spears is dismissive.

"She's a toaster," says Spears. "You fuck one mecha, you've fucked them all. And they all taste like toast."

But Mira is not your ordinary frakking Cylon. She sweats! Her skin reddens with whipping! And her vagina is adjustable!

Spears is amazed. Could he be falling for a toaster? And, since he is Mira's "first," she imprints his data in her "memory banks."

What follows is a lot of exposition, some corporate intrigue and skulduggery, sex for no reason (but we're happy it happened, don't get us wrong), the conspicuous absence of Stormy Daniels and, sprinkled throughout, some poignant moments in which Mira comes to terms with her blossoming personhood.

The problem with "2040" is that, in trying to be Wicked's epic for the year, a movie that would have worked better small became instead top-heavy. There were plotlines and actors who didn't need to be there, like a community theatre production in which everyone who auditioned got a part. At the heart of the bloat that is "2040" is a really good porn movie that no one believed in enough to let stand on its own.

That said, the people the movie is about, Spears and Blue, are fantastic. While he can ham it up with the best of today's porn dudes, Spears also has a gravitas that no one in the porn world can touch. And Alektra Blue does great work as a living doll; I wish she'd been allowed to do more. (If RealDoll.com has an Alektra Blue model, I bet it's awesome.)

"2040" has a happy ending and I bet you can guess what it is. There is an uplifting message for couples that almost sounds like Stay Monogamous. (The underlying message, though, is that Mira has the intellect of a child but a vagina like a 320-hp engine, therefore it's easy to stay monogamous...the outlook is dire for human women.)

People must be buying these feel-good, trying-too-hard slogs, because Wicked keeps making them.

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If your mother is not quite so liberal, however, you might find some use in Spike's list of 7 pornstars capable of passing muster at your family dinner table. If you could actually manage to convince them to come home with you, that is (we have a feeling Stoya might be otherwise occupied).

· The Top Seven Porn Stars You Can Take Home to Mom (spike.com)
· Image of Stoya courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

A nihilistic shiver blossoms inside of us, like initial rush after snorting hillbilly heroin, as these angelic ingenues disrobe, both their lascivious costumes as well as any residual inhibition, and transform into uncomplicated engines of desire, ready to provide unspeakable pleasures to anyone bold enough to cross paths with these possessed dolls.

In our minds, the lyrics to a timeless Gun's n' Roses song morph once again into a familiar refrain. You know where you are? You're in a porno, baby. You're gonna fuck—hard.

Whales take chances in high stakes poker games for the rush, the thrill of losing. Mobsters grow addicted to the sound of the gun busting. They grow to need the edge of danger like a hit of adrenaline on the tip of their tongues to feel real and alive. The women that risk their lives and hearts loving these outlaws live for the thrill too. Armstrong exploits these fantasies in a gangsta party turned porno paradise, with each scene topographically reflecting different aspects of known gangster iconography.

Smoky casinos, retro-gothic police stations, and shadowy crime scenes pay homage to the romanticized Hollywood image of the uncompromising gun toting ghosts of legend and the molls that spun fear and chaos into the forbidden meat of a decadent reality even the hardest pornographer will in all likelihood never know.

"Mobster's Ball 2" releases this month from Brad Armstrong and Wicked Pictures. Check out the exclusive gallery we snatched for you.

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Witchy Chicago fetish hottie Morgana Moon gets all sweaty in what appears to be a rec room Dad never got around to finishing, probably because he discovered Internet porn like this.

Moon is driddled with Bacardi prior to being fucked (depriving us of an easy Captain Morgana joke) to the song stylings of the band Serpent Libertine

I cannot escape it
I am under your spell
And a day without you
IS MY PERSONAL HELL!
I stare at this tombstone
And I wonder why
How come everyone that i love
HAS TO DIE!

(Crybaby. Now I need a drink...)

But what about two-time pirate Evan Stone? Will his drink be a Captain and Coke?

"I like frozen margaritas," the dreamboat said, here seen explaining to Tommy Gunn that he, too, likes tequila - he just doesn't want to shoot it.

Salt?

"No salt," he said significantly.

As meaningful as this was, it was Alektra Blue and jessica drake - neither of whom is a redhead - who turned us on to Red-headed Sluts, which is Jagermeister and pomegranate juice on the rocks.

I would do anything drake suggested, so I tried one immediately. It knocked the capital letters out of me.

House of Wicked

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: jessica drake, Stormy Daniels, Alektra Blue, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Kaylani Lei, Johnny Castle, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade, Marcus London, Danny Mountain, Derrick Pierce, Rocco Reed, Kris Slater, Alan Stafford, Deep Threat, Brad Armstrong

Review by: Gram Ponante

What's more, each of the vignettes features the performer in what we are led to assume is her own element - therefore no naughty nurses, babysitters, cheerleaders, or - God forbid - pirates. Instead director Brad Armstrong puts Wicked's moneymakers in a much more European setting befitting the company's porn chicks with gravitas image (except for Stormy; the darkest Wiucked performer of them all here plays a cowgirl. Go figure).

"House of Wicked" is known in porn parlance as a high-end gonzo, or wall-to-wall. That means the movie is all sex with limited setup and no dialogue. But that doesn't mean we don't get to know the stars' personalities.

Kirsten Price, for example, is a saucy student. She takes on a couple of dudes in what appears to be the classroom of her Rhodes fellowship. Then jessica drake has a foursome in a fetish den, Kaylani Lei plays to type (she takes one for the team here) as a tough Asian with a taste for motorcyclists, Alektra Blue plays a skatepunk girl, and then Mikayla Mendez shows up as a club vixen.

In each of these scenes there is no angle from which each precious Wicked performer looks less than stunning. In fact, the whole movie seems branded with Wicked iconography. Furthermore, if anyone is made to look a little like a prop in this movie it is the guys, who outnumber their female counterparts by almost two to one, and whose costumes look less believable (Tommy Gunn and Barrett Blade as sk8r dudes with sideways hats, etc., seems a little Chippendales to me).

Which makes me think that "House of Wicked" is a fantastic couples' movie. Each of the women is far more mature and glamorous than bubbleheaded and accessible, each appears to have the reins tightly in hand of who gets to take a poke at her, and that it is the girls who have the pick of the eye candy should make female fans reluctantly agree that there is twice as much for them to gawk at than their boyfriends.

The final scene features every woman (but Stormy, who was probably campaigning) in a civilized and elegant Sapphic hoedown, proving that, at the end of the day, they just wanted to be together.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "House of Wicked" (gamelink.com)

Despite incapacitating herself with a debilitating foot injury that has sidelined her for a hot minute (giving birth to @thejessicadrake and an endless stream of tweets), Wicked's top heroine emerges this week in yet another sexy and complex story porn feature. This time she plays Karen, a "blossoming journalist" with a "promising career" complete with an action photojournalist boyfriend played by bad boy hear breaker Barrett Blade. Man, her life is tres sweet! Just imagine, a journalist with a real job in this economy much less a promising future? That's rich! What an elaborate fantasy. That Michael Raven has a rich fantasy life, we can tell you that!

But then (oh noes!) it all falls apart—jessica gets sick and her boyfriend totes ditches her, vanishing into thin air. This, of course, leads to her having ridiculous writer's block, falling in love again, and finding out on her wedding day that Barrett Blade was just on tour with Dial 7 and is still crazy in love with her. The jessica drake always has to make the hard decisions!

But wait! There's a twist on the twist, which we won't spoil, because we don't know actually know what it is. But whatever, we'll just make up our own: they all move in together in a double wide in Tampa and form a polygamist colony that Queen Bee drake rules over like a feudal lord (in between sexing up everything worth hitting).

Okay, you'll have to watch on your own to get the "real" ending, because Michael Raven doesn't hire us to write his scripts anymore. (We can't understand why!)

"Always and Forever" stars jessica drake, Mikayla Mendez, Ariannna Armani, Nicole Ray, and Scarlett Fay. It comes out this week. Check the awesome gallery we compiled for you below and click the link for the trailer.

· "Always and Forever" (wickedpictures.com)

· HotMovies Interview with AVN Best Actress: Jessica Drake (hotmoviesblog.com)

Unfortunately, we couldn't follow them around all evening—but the magic of Twitter allowed us to virtually stalk them from the comfort of our own home!

Andy San Dimas ate some toast.

Sinnamon Love turned 35.

Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Stoya did nothing, while her Co-Commandress Joanna Angel hit up Don Hills with the Burning Angel crew.

jessica drake went partying in disco ball drag.

Jesse Jane played with fireworks.

Baby Sinead battled a zombie fish.

Dana Dearmond dreamed of Mickey Rourke.

So who had the best evening? And what, pray tell, did you (the people) do?

· Picture of way more exciting New Year's party from Dreamy Porn (dreamyporn.com via Ask Jolene)

We thought, for a time, that it might be a tribute to e.e. cummings or bell hooks, or that jessica was, perhaps, making a statement against the patriarchy. But no, a 2007 interview reveals that the truth is much simpler:

I was at my first show, which was VFD about six years ago, and I really hadn't done anything yet. But somebody had made up posters for me, because I had been in one of their scenes, for people to sign, and people started asking me for my autograph. So I started trying to write it, and it didn't look good. Capital J and capital D wasn't cutting it, so I ended up going home that night and practicing my autograph so many different ways because I'm a dork, and little j and little d looked really good.

Well, one mystery down. Now if we can just figure out how Belladonna gets that bat up there...

· jessica drake Interview 2007 (rogreviews.com, via pornstarbabylon.wordpress.com)
· Thumbnail via KellyFind

These days, it seems as though the transition from performer to director takes the average starlet all of about 6.5 movies. Not so for this sultry sex goddess: drake took her time basking in her hard won praise and loving every sticky second of being nothing short of a highly coveted seductress. Having worked her way up through the ranks of hardcore gonzo titles to the prestigious upper realms of the high-end adult feature, drake spent years with Wicked, serving as the head contract girl and live-in girlfriend of its most prominent auteur. So it stands to reason that her directorial debut, "What Girls Like"—a glorious exploration into the sex lives of seven culturally and sexually diverse starlets—should reflect her cautious tutelage.

Not content to stand on the sidelines, drake throws herself into the mix with fellow contract stars Alektra Blue and Mikayla Mendez, following through with a few lust-inspiring heartbreakers like Brooke Belle, Daisy Marie, Jada Fire, Michelle McLaren, and Sammie Rhodes.

Only time will tell if this initial offering will make the grade—but from all appearances (and, for that matter, photographic evidence), we’d say the girl is well on her way to Stormy Daniels status (and good luck to her!).

"What Girls Like" is currently available everywhere great porn is sold.

· "What Girls Like" Trailer (wickedpictures.com)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

. . .

Fallen

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: jessica drake, Jenna Haze, Brad Armstrong, Shyla Stylez, Angie Savage, Ryder Skye, Jennifer Dark, Jada Fire, Lana Croft, Gianna Lynn, Michelle McLaren

"Yes. Right in that little fuckhole," says Jenna Haze in the opening scene of Fallen, a guardian angel-out-of-grace tale from Wicked. But I don't think it's relevant to the story.

drake plays Haze's guardian angel, and when Haze dies in a freak elevator crash, drake feels guilty for screwing up at work. You see, Haze's boyfriend, played by Armstrong, was going to ask her to marry him that night, but Haze decided to go home instead—via elevator.

While it is not lost on this turtlenecked cineaste that Haze dying while going down is a metaphor for angels in general and the state of porn in particular, what is odd is that drake, a supernatural being, gets stuck behind a locked apartment building door.

"It was my job to protect her," drake says, a feather falling to her pointy white angel boots. "And I failed."

This was four years ago, and drake has been fired. Still immortal, she drifts toward the dark side, feeling no love "from above."

Can she be redeemed? Will she turn her back on heaven? That is the theme of Fallen, and not the theme of Dirtpipe Milkshakes 2.

drake visits the seedy, smoky, and dimly lit (a Wicked trademark) fleshpots of Los Angeles after musing prettily atop a building with the L.A. skyline behind her.

Poor drake. Now that she is no longer an angel, the cops think she is a hooker. But then she meets Armstrong, the former boyfriend of dead Jenna Haze. He is a bike messenger now, and they bump into each other when he spills coffee on her. Another metaphor for what he will eventually spill on her? You're goddamn right.

But lonelyhearts Armstrong is the innocent side of drake's new life. She still needs to purge herself of the fleshly temptations she has enjoyed since her wings were clipped. She stops by Jennifer Dark's house to watch her getting reamed.

Finally she goes on a date with Brad. At his house she notices a photo of Haze, her lost charge. She freaks out.

"I took the stairs for months after that," Armstrong says. "Even after they fixed {the elevator}."

The coincidence is all too weird for the fallen angel. She returns to a life of debauchery, blowing Herschel Savage on his cab, inserting things into Angie Savage, and saying things like "it's all too weird."

Fallen sometimes bows under the weight of its own earnestness, and the dialogue at times falls flat, but both drake and Armstrong acquit themselves nicely to a script that leaves lots of room to make her look glamorous, him look sensitive and easygoing, and us believe there is a God who lets His ex-employees go to orgies and stick dildoes in Angie Savage.

The movie resolves in a twist ending. I don't know if couples actually watch porn together or if that is a myth, but Fallen proves itself to be a satisfying and well-shot high-end porn with a moral: don't step into an elevator after saying "fuckhole."

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Fallen" (gamelink.com)

jessica drake is Zoe as today's Wicked Girl on a mission in "Kissing Girls," in which the long-leggedy pornstress lets us know (in standard-issue voiceover form) that this will be her year to climb the corporate ladder, make the world a better place, and find her soulmate. (As this line cuts to her trysting with Eric Masterson, we can assume that he is not it, else the movie would be very short.)

"He understood my passions and dealt with my neuroses," she says of him. But when he tells her to hurry because his wife will be home soon, she knows it isn't to be. We know that the movie will be about dipping her toe in the world of women.

Like Hustler is hitting a groove with (or at least spending a lot of time on) its "parody" movies, Wicked is co-opting mainstream successes and making them a little more porny. "Kissing Girls" is, obviously, Wicked's "Kissing Jessica Stein."

Frustrated with men, Zoe answers a personal ad. From a girl. At first she is hesitant, but when a montage sequence reveals that alll men are crazy, she reconsiders."Besides," she says, "aren't all women lesbians these days? Bisexual? Swingers? Isn't that all the rage?"

All the rage in Hell, maybe.

Anyway, drake bites the bullet and meets Moonbeam (Dana DeArmond), and they hit it off on Wicked's muted pastel restaurant set. And they have so much in common! They're both Scorpios, they like to drive, and neither likes labels! But they do like labia.

Moonbeam tells Zoe about first finding a woman attractive, when she caught her babysitter (Scarlett Fay) having sex with her 40-year-old boyfriend. Luckily, we don't see 12-year-old Moonbeam peaking around the curtains. We're also proud of ourselves that we guessed how another sex scene would be shoehorned in before Zoe and Moonbeam's inevitable coupling.

drake and DeArmond at first seem an unlikely porn pair, but DeArmond handles the transition from gaping and choking to couples'-friendly lesbo scene with aplomb, and even inspires the best ad-lib of the movie when drake says, "If I had a cock you'd be in trouble."

I've said it before and I say it again: it's great jessica drake does not have a cock.

- Review by Gram Ponante

Kissing Girls
Studio: Wicked
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: jessica drake, Dana DeArmond, Scarlett Fay, Randy Spears, Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson, Barry Scott, August

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Kissing Girls" (gamelink.com)

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· See the real title" (gamelink.com)

Previously: WWFRD Archive

Of course, any pornographer going to that bestseller for plots runs the risk of seeming precious, self important. Then again, if we have learned anything in our time together, precious sometimes sells. Read our review of Wicked's "Delilah" after the gap.

- - -

Delilah

Studio: Wicked Pictures
Director: Michael Raven
Cast: jessica drake, Herschel Savage, Kaylani Lei, Sammie Rhodes, Hillary Scott, Randy Spears, Veronica Hart

Review by Gram Ponante

"Ah, sweet Christy: I needed her more than any man ever needed a woman," says Samson Nazarite (Herschel Savage), the Master of the Universe whose devotion to his career drove Christy (Hillary Scott) away. Samson's immediate regret of Christy's departure (he chose to go to a conference with Phyllis Stein & Associates rather than on a lovers' cruise) seems abrupt in light of how he treated her, but even more abrupt is the way Savage takes to Delilah (jessica drake), the frank hairdresser he takes up with soon after.

drake hardly cracks a smile the whole movie; she is a svelte dragon lady.

The graying Savage is a fine actor who, along with Randy Spears, represents porn's mature leading men. A clever trick in adult movies is channeling all the dialogue into voiceovers. These Savage delivers well, but he also has the personal gravitas required of the role.

Unfortunately the movie is lousy with gravitas. Not only do we have the unholy mixing of Old and New Testaments with "Samson" and "Nazarite" (an Old Testament term for one who has taken a vow of abstinence), but Samson has also lost "Christ"y. That and the dim blueness of the sex scenes, in which the lovely drake is seldom fully revealed, makes me think that, as a porn movie, Delilah misses the point; even if jerking off to all the movies that cross my desk is not an option, the idea behind each and every porn movie should always be that I could if I wanted to.

Delilah is not a hit with Samson's friends, Stephanie (Kaylani Lei) and Pete (Spears), nor with his mom (Veronica Hart), all of whom act their asses off in service to a film that is relentlessly depressing.

But ambitious! The story doesn't give up. It has twists and turns that the cast stays with: Delilah has a past, Spears is not the friend he seems, Christy is still in the picture. Samson prays.

A bum (but, you know, one of those supernatural bums with a wealth of wisdom), approaches Samson outside a restaurant with, "What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?" (New Testament again). Oy.

Delilah is, like it or not, an adult movie for adults. There is not a lick of fantasy in it. We believe Spears and Savage, with their high-powered resumes, would actually have icy trophy partners. We believe that men like that might search for redemption in the wrong places. I even believe that certain couples would be turned on by this movie - I just don't know any.

drake, unfortunately, plays an unlikeable character and it works. We don't want to not like jessica drake.

Delilah is the elusive "real movie that happens to have sex in it" that the big adult companies strive for. Not a lot of sex, either; the best-lit scene is with Lei and Spears, and Hillary Scott never appears in anything less than a bikini.

Though the movie ends with Samson getting a second chance - and literally praying for one - the journey there is decidedly un-porny. What does it profit a porn movie to gain a good script but lose my erection?

· Wicked Pictures (wicked.com)
· "Delilah" Trailer on YouTube (youtube.com)
· Buy "Delilah" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Porn Reviews Archive

Wicked Pictures' star jessica drake, too modest for capital letters (because it's all about her fans), likes skanky strip bars, but only dances in the ritzy ones. We asked drake, as per Wicked's 30' "What Excites You?" motto dominating Erotica L.A., what, other than us, excited her.

"Hot women who can pleasure me, men who can pleasure me, pleasuring myself, and Tomorrrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"I'm all about the future," she said, and then handed us some flyers for her gig at the Spearmint Rhino in Van Nuys. Tomorrow.

"I'm really good at it," she added. - GP

· Wicked (wickedpictures.com)
· jessica drake (jessicadrake.com)

Previously: Pornstars Archive