That's why watching Sin City's newest release, "Bubble Butt Cuties," feels like waking up to find someone rolled Christmas, Easter, the Superbowl, Nascar, UFC, Shark Week, Demolition Derby, Metallica, Fight Club, Quentin Tarantino, and Beerfest all into one! Now that's powerful!

What a piece of work is Ava Rose...and her extraordinary ass! How noble in reason! How infinitely breathtaking in expansion...like a stained glass masterpiece hanging in a solemn church on a cold winter's morning, the virgin's ineffable tears, or the way your heart feels like it's going to explode when a small child bursts into a hymn. In apprehension, how like a God? If you're starting to get the feeling that we are suggesting Ava Rose's ass is akin to having a religious experience, or better still, a spiritual epiphany, then you are finally getting it. Sexy Ava plays the fool for Dane "Baby" Cross who turns their playful back and forth into a white hot session, showing her some tough love just to prove he's the boss of that massive booty.

Aubrey Adams provides a grateful Cheyne Collins with a "Fuck-A-Gram," until he turns her sweet pink speed racer back into a purring kitty kat snatch. Kristina Rose taunts Nick Manning from a jail cell until he power fucks her sweet sphincter, raining down a tsunami of expletives and irrational catch phrases that seem to entrance her into an animal state of raw desire. Kirra Lynne tries to trick Jenner and steal his watch but ends up taking the A Train to brown town, and singing his praises the way ride.

In the end, it's Jayden James who owns this release. With curves this dangerous and cheeks so full and merry, she practically owns poor Eric Masterson, who has to come up with a ruse to bed her, and works harder than a sweatshop employee with no bathroom breaks to give Jayden the kind of 'hard dick and bubble gum', uterus hammering, drilling that is her birthright.

"Bubble Butt Cuties" releases later this month from DCypher and Mayhem. Check out this extremely exclusive gallery we shot on set just for you, our loyal readers....and trust us when we say we really hope you enjoy this set. Have a great weekend!

Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)

Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes are both gorgeous, charming, and (clearly) creative. Can't you imagine sitting down to a nice meal with the family with one of these girls? Sure, she might have a little food dye on her lips, but as long as no one serves popsicles for dessert, everything will be ok.

* * * * *

Previously: Sticky, Sweet, Serious Work In "Popsicle Play"

· Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)

Popsicle Play

Studio: Abigail Williams Productions
Director: O. Cohen
Cast: Samantha Ryan, Nika Noir, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, Jayden James, Ann Marie Rios

This movie is wet in the best possible way. The first scene has Nika Noir and Samantha Ryan work each other to a slow, screaming lather. They get wet, I get wet (which really isn't supposed to happen, I'm a guy), and it's literally raining on them the entire time. Sadly, a popsicle is missing from this scene, but there was a delightful, popsicle-colored vibrator in use.

Actually, the absence of popsicles was a bit concerning at times. Certain scenes—like Nika and Samantha's—could've used one, especially when the cover shows an intimate moment between the girls involving a Cherry Pineapple Big Stick. Ann Marie Rios has the only solo work in the film, and she is also missing a frozen treat. Then again, what she lacks in sugar, she more than makes up with seething. She masturbates like a schizophrenic, half-laughing/half-crying to the point of blazing orgasm.

On the other hand, I'm happy the popsicles were few. It makes them exciting! Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes start off their scene with some intense snack time: holding a Firecracker in her teeth, Jayden colors Nikki's nipples red. Then the girls double-team-deepthroat the ice lolly down to the stick. Have you ever wished your penis were a popsicle? You will.

But it's important to remember that the popsicle isn't a surrogate penis, and you shouldn't be projecting yourself onto unhealthy snacks. For one, you could never have intercourse because sugar is bad for the vagina and is prone to cause yeast infections (The More You Know!). Besides, remember what Belladonna taught us?

Second, it's ok to identify with girls in porn, even lesbian porn; accept your desire for both the active and passive roles! Really, when you're watching Darryl Hannah mouthfuck Ava Rose with a popsicle, and the camera is so close that you can read the joke off the stick, you'd be silly if you didn't want to be one of the girls.

Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)

Such is the clever twist that guides the loose plot of New Sensations' newest self aware porn parody "Entourage – A XXX Parody." Directed by Lee Roy Myers, the spoof covers all our favorite players, including Eric, Vince, Turtle, Drama, Ari, and Lloyd.

Myers's pornified version picks up somewhere between seasons two and three, after Vince's latest film flops, when Turtle decides to upload a celebrity sex tape of Vince and everyone's favorite super-starlet-next-door, Mandy Moorehead. From there it's so spot on that Marky Mark and the Writer's Guild should get a cut of the residuals from this thing.

Ultimately, fans of the show will love it. The players actually kinda look like the real actors on the show, and great attention to detail is paid. But, while the real show's pull is not only its cast of plucky characters but the allure of Hollywood itself (replete with every single saccharin stereotype non-Angelino's insist on perpetuating) the porn parody must be based on hot sex, no matter how closely the movie apes the object of it's adoration. Luckily it stars sexy Ashlynn Brooke, Penthouse Pet Tori Black, Priya Rai, Jayden James, and Eva Ellington, all fine young women far more interested in servicing huge cocks than taking cold reading classes off Laurel Canyon.

While we have always loved Ashlynn's, um, work, we were particularly thrilled with the effort young Miss Black puts forward. She takes an amazing fucking, so much so that it distracts us from the plot. We owe you one there, babycakes.

"Entourage – A XXX Parody" comes out today. The hardcore trailer is available here—or view the soft trailer on YouTube. And, of course, be sure to check out the goodness in our exclusive gallery below.

Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)

Studio: Wicked
Director: Brad Armstrong
Cast: Alektra Blue, Randy Spears, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Brad Armstrong, Jayden Jaymes, Kayla Carrera, Barrett Blade, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Alexis Texas, Rocco Reed, Tory Lane, Janet Mason, Mick Blue, Jerry, TJ Cummings, Bill Bailey

Review by: Gram Ponante

The screenwriter goes uncredited, but the story of "2040" has bits of everything from "Pinocchio" to "The Velveteen Rabbit" to "Blade Runner": Love something enough and it can become human.

We meet Ryan Spears (Randy Spears), who is a porn performer, just like his dad, the porn actor Randy Spears. Ryan's job is similar to his father's, but he must perform it clandestinely because of (as the voiceover tells us) the porn tax of 2015, the porn police, and because porn companies are now "corporate entities traded on the open market."

(Like in the original "Blade Runner," we can do without the voiceover.)

Not only that, but Spears must also fuck robots.

Spears and company deliver a lot of inside references and product placement to the benefit of the Real Doll company, Wicked Pictures, and AVN, whose 55th annual awards show is presented complete with bad band and fucking in the bathrooms.

The first scene, as carried off by Spears and the faulty robot Alexis Texas, is very funny and more than reminiscent of certain porn sets I've attended.

The Alexis Texas robot blows a fuse, you see, and the crew and Spears have to wrestle her to a squatting position so that Spears can aim a load into her R.O.C., or removable oral cavity. The sight of Texas kneeling there, mouth open, eyes glazed over, and bolt-ons perpendicular, is both chilling and familiar (Texas is acting, of course, like she just came off a Max Hardcore shoot).

With the Texas "doll" or "mecha" out of commission, the production enlists a robot that looks just like Alektra Blue. Her name is Mira.

But Spears is dismissive.

"She's a toaster," says Spears. "You fuck one mecha, you've fucked them all. And they all taste like toast."

But Mira is not your ordinary frakking Cylon. She sweats! Her skin reddens with whipping! And her vagina is adjustable!

Spears is amazed. Could he be falling for a toaster? And, since he is Mira's "first," she imprints his data in her "memory banks."

What follows is a lot of exposition, some corporate intrigue and skulduggery, sex for no reason (but we're happy it happened, don't get us wrong), the conspicuous absence of Stormy Daniels and, sprinkled throughout, some poignant moments in which Mira comes to terms with her blossoming personhood.

The problem with "2040" is that, in trying to be Wicked's epic for the year, a movie that would have worked better small became instead top-heavy. There were plotlines and actors who didn't need to be there, like a community theatre production in which everyone who auditioned got a part. At the heart of the bloat that is "2040" is a really good porn movie that no one believed in enough to let stand on its own.

That said, the people the movie is about, Spears and Blue, are fantastic. While he can ham it up with the best of today's porn dudes, Spears also has a gravitas that no one in the porn world can touch. And Alektra Blue does great work as a living doll; I wish she'd been allowed to do more. (If RealDoll.com has an Alektra Blue model, I bet it's awesome.)

"2040" has a happy ending and I bet you can guess what it is. There is an uplifting message for couples that almost sounds like Stay Monogamous. (The underlying message, though, is that Mira has the intellect of a child but a vagina like a 320-hp engine, therefore it's easy to stay monogamous...the outlook is dire for human women.)

People must be buying these feel-good, trying-too-hard slogs, because Wicked keeps making them.

Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Buy "2040" (gamelink.com)

So when we heard that he was releasing a fifth volume of "This Butt's 4 U," his amazing Jules Jordan anal series (albeit still bearing the brunt of the same antediluvian title), we were far from surprised. It's not like we thought he was going to resurrect smut's failed experiment with Nietzsche porn, right? Given his particular talent, endowed by his creator, labeling him a life support system for a cock is both a compliment and a benediction. We're hard pressed to believe he's losing sleep over it.

Everhard blends a nice mix of stretchy young Euro sphincter with all-American ripe and ready rectum this time around, letting the ladies' elastic puckers do the most of the trash talking. With a cast that includes Kirra Lynne, Chayse Evans, Memphis Monroe, Jayden Jaymes, Aletta Ocean, and Kylee Strutt...this is quite the release.

The results are on par with everything we've come to expect from Everhard. Memphis Monroe looks particularly stunning with a hard tool crammed all the way up her dirtbox and Aletta Ocean was born to go in through the out door. In the end it's Jayden James that steals the show. Girls that beautiful are rarely so filthy.

"This Butt's 4 U 5: drops this week. Don't ever say America hasn't been good to you, Mister Everhard.

Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Aletta Ocean
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Aletta Ocean
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
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Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

· "Curvy Girls 4" Teaser (community.elegantangel.com)

Nevertheless, the results are finally in, with Jayden Jaymes and Shawna Lenee tying for top honors, Priya Rai ranking as Hottest MILF, and Dylan Ryder receiving the title of Hottest Newcomer. Though, frankly, that only makes us more confused: it took them two and a half months to figure that out? Couldn't they tell just by looking at them?

· The Hottest Girl in Porn (thehottestgirlinporn.com, via xbiz.com)

If it is true—and there seems to be copious evidence that it is—we can only hope that Jayden pulls a Tera Patrick, and recruits Chuck into the adult industry. There's a golden opportunity for a line of "Iceman Cometh" adult DVDs, and Chuck and Jayden are perfectly poised to exploit it.

· Chuck Liddell dating porntsar Jayden James (watchkalibrun.com)
· Thumbnail via Brazzers (thebrazzers.com, via Ask Jolene)

And, of course, by "in action" we mean "on video tape, attached to a girl who's having sex." Is there anyone else out there who maybe shares our butt fetish? Cause if you are out there, we're happy to report that we've collected a lovely group of clips that should put a nice big smile on your face.

Luscious Lopez black cock anal pounding

Charlotte Stokely - Teens Gone Wild #2

Olivia O'Lovely hard deep anal pounding

Pinky has a fat ass

Brianna Love teen fuckwhole pounded

Lacey Duvalle takes on two cocks

Curvaceous Jayden James rocked hardcore

Super hot Renae Cruz banged hard!

Flower Tucci is a hardcore slut

Alexis Texas sprung a leak

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

The documentary begins shooting, um, now, and will continue through the next month, with the episode scheduled to air in April. Exciting stuff, really—though somehow we doubt it will compare to the stuff we've already seen from Jayden.

· MTV Selects Jayden Jaymes for 'True Life' Episode (avn.com)

Okay, maybe the results aren't all that shocking to loyal Fleshbot readers.

Shawna Lenee, Missy Stone, Jessica Jaymes, Puma Swede, Lisa Ann, Jayden James, Devon, Jenaveve Jolie, Melissa Lauren, and Mya Nichole make up the (nearly) all star cast of this Sapphic epic. While sluggish at points, largely due to the formulaic nature of genre, we'd be willing to sit through almost anything to watch most of these girls get down to business—which they happily do, diving face first into one perfect juicy snatch after another, until our heads were spinning from overstimulation.

Shawna Lenee's latent lesbian nature shines through as she loving licks Missy Stone from head to toe, those whose wouldn't? Jessica Jaymes and Puma Swede show true veteran cunnilingus skills in the most ardent and believable 69 we've seen in some time. Lisa Ann of "Who's Nailin Paylin?" fame tears into sweet Jayden James's eager beaver with vigor. And last, but most certainly not least, a lesbian orgy (one of the hardest things in the world to direct—believe us!) consumes an unsuspecting living room, with succulent Shawna returning to sample tasty Devon, Jenaveve Jolie, Melissa Lauren, and Mya Nichole.

So maybe this release won't revolutionize lesbian porn as we know it. It does, however, make a welcome addition to the genre as a whole, one worthy of the hours you'll spend pouring over it.

"Babes Illustrated 18" releases this month from Metro Interactive.

· Metro Interactive (metroxxx.com)

. . .

Jayden James

Lacey Duvalle

Aliana Love (kellyfind.com)

Renae Cruz

Donna Red (donnared.com)

Alexis Texas

Olivia O'Lovely

Stacy Adams (pornpros.com)

Ayana Angel (ayanaangelonline.com)

Emma Cummings

Flower Tucci

When we finally do our porn version of "Logan's Run" (Because Jenny Agutter Never Stays Naked Long Enough^TM), we want Jayden James to coordinate the costumes. James was interviewed by Tina Tyler on the former's third day in the adult business.

"How are you doing?" Tyler begins.
"I'm fine, and yourself?" replies James.
"Let's start with a - Oh, I'm fine, thank you," Tyler says. "I'm so not paying attention to a thing you're saying because I keep looking at those tits."

Tyler avoids the question on everyone's mind before sending James off to meet Lexington Steele, and that is, "Will you be renewed?" - GP

· Tina Tyler (myspace.com)
· Buy "Fresh Out the Box 6" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Fashion Archive

Meeting Jayden James (the porn star, not the Federline-Spears offspring of the same name) in person is just a little more delightful than seeing her picture. But it is important for the porn unaware that an internal eruption is not some kind of condition that requires hospitalization, but instead a wholesome re-enactment of the way people who love each other very much make babies. In other words, that is not a brave smile on James' face—she is in fact saying that she is not going to have to worry about toweling sperm from it later. - GP

· "Internal Eruptions" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
· Jayden James on MySpace (myspace.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive