The 8th Day

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ren Savant
Cast: Kayden Kross, Amber Rayne, Bree Olson, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland, Jandi Lin, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Krissy Leigh, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Tyler Knight, Trinity Post, Darryl Hanah, Ameatabh Bachan, Derrick Pierce

Review by: Gram Ponante

Samantha (the exquisitely nude Kayden Kross) wakes up from future sleep in a future chamber, a recorded message from her late father (director Ren Savant) playing on the future video screen.

"Possibly I died of natural causes," he is saying, Jor El-like, waxing on about the zero-point generator he invented that he is confident will have saved the world by now. "I am very envious of my little girl."

Envious or not, Dad, at least wait until she's got some clothes on.

Thus begins "The 8th Day," Adam & Eve's massive 4-disc (two for the feature, two for extras) epic of sex in a post-apocalyptic world, part "2001," part "The Road Warrior," part "Contact," and, what the hell, still weirded out by a father being creepy with his daughter, even posthumously, part "Blame It on Rio."

Of course, the world Sam wakes up to isn't quite fixed. In fact, it looks a lot like many greater Los Angeles communities south of the 10 freeway; places where bodies are meat, technology has betrayed Man, and where "In a lawless new world, sex is the only salvation."

"My God," Sam says. "What happened?"

Life happened, Sam. We follow her through the ruined, overgrown landscape. We evaluate Sam's choices as if she were making her way through Quake, and we're waiting for her MMPORGasm.

In fact, "The 8th Day" is unlike many contemporary movies in that it takes its time, and this is an unexpected pleasure. Well, perhaps not to fans of porn's pay-per-minute model, but whatever.

By the time Sam meets Mel (Amber Rayne), lots of information has slowly unfolded, much like Krissy Leigh's impressive labia in a desert shanty scene with Tyler Knight.

It turns out, Mel tells Sam in porn's first recorded ten-minute dialogue scene, that long ago all the electricity went out, the animals died, women had trouble reproducing, and mutants with different attributes emerged. Sam, for example, has sex with some slimy Morlocks. Then we watch a three-way between some blue, caterwauling Gila girls. I'd add "Good Times" here, but I'm not a douchebag.

Mel takes Sam to the Elysium Fields, a desert enclave ruled by the charismatic Amir, who preaches against technology and presides over tent orgies. We learn that Amir led the angry mob that killed Sam's father when the latter's science didn't turn out as expected. We learn, also, that Mel can take a double-penetration like a goddamn champ.

My only complaints about the movie are logical ones, which I admit don't hold up against the copious flesh on display, but here goes: It is not altogether clear why Sam's dad put her into deep sleep, unless he just did so to see his adult daughter naked. And Amir doesn't seem all that charming, despite the fawning.

But the risks "The 8th Day" takes are admirable for porn. There are stretches without either music or nudity and where the plot advances by scenery alone. The special effects are parceled out with maturity, there are references to Shakespeare and the Beatles, and the movie trusts you to allow it to end without a cumshot.

There is also more creepy stuff with Dad, crucifixion, peeing on asbestos, a "West Wing" cameo, Bree Olson's Blue period, the unsinkable Darryl Hanah, the always-dependable Trinity Post, a delightful performance by Amber Rayne, and the jaw-dropping Kayden Kross, who meets a bad end (but so does everybody).

"The 8th Day" is a great movie; how bad can the end of the world be if it's got Kayden Kross in it?

· Adam & Eve (adamandeve.com)
· And on the 8th Day, God blew up Boston (gramponante.com)
· Buy "The 8th Day" (gamelink.com)

Porn doesn't have anything like Hollywood's traditional pitch meetings, but we still like to imagine Director Ren Savant promising Adam & Eve's head honchos that he was going to make the best porn movie of the decade by mixing "Mad Max Thunderdome" with "Behind the Green Door' all while using action figures, a Kayden Barbie, several Tonka trucks, and a cat box to illustrate his point.

Any reservations the A&E brass had about making a big budget, non-spoof sci-fi porno were certainly placated by the knowledge that indefatigable blonde beauty Kayden "too pretty for porn" Kross would be cast in the lead.

The story opens with Kross being awakened from a cryogenic slumber to find herself in a strange city overrun by tribal gangs and overactive sexual half breeds, not entirely unlike Barstow or the backside of a meth lab way back in the hills of San Bernadino.

Kayden gets rescued by a scrappy scavenger girl, Amber Rayne and learns her only hope for salvation lies in the hands of the charismatic ruler of a desolate dessert village, known as Elysium Fields. But when Prince Amir takes Samantha under his wing, he discovers who she really is and decides that she must make the ultimate sacrifice.

Kayden Cross, Bree Olson, Tyler Knight, Tommy Gunn, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland
Derrick Pierce, Jandi Lin, Krissy Leigh, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Darryl Hanah, Evan Stone, Amber Rayne, Cheyne Collins, Sledge Hammer, Trinity Post, Chris Cannon, and Jerry keep spending all their lives fucking in a post apocalyptic burnt out ghetto paradise.

Will this be the greatest movie of the year? Can it topple the strangle hold "Operation Tropical Stormy" will no doubt have on industry come awards time? No one knows for sure. We can say, however, that it is an impressive effort replete with sexy girls, hot sex, orgies, and bucket loads of pure imagination, which (as we all know) Einstein even said was more important than having Stormy.

"The 8th Day" releases on 9/08/09 but you can get it now at Adam and Eve's website. For more info on the title, check out "The 8th Day"'s website. And in the meantime, check out our mega exclusive sneak preview gallery.

"The 8th Day" (the8thdayxxx.com)
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Yes, it's an eduporn about ladies strapping it on and getting their boys to bend over; and as you might expect, we can't wait to see it. We've got our fingers crossed that this release might inspire some other pegging-themed pornos... but, uh, we're not holding our breath.

· "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men" (vividvideo.com)

Fuck Club

Studio: Harmony Films
Director: Gazzman
Cast: Tori Black, Jandi Lin, Nicki Hunter, Maya Hills, Faye Reagan, Ryder Skye, Tatiana Kush, Kiesha Kane

Review by: Gram Ponante

There is nothing that conveys ancient (and probably Masonic) power than a group of cigar-smoking, brandy-sniftering older dudes in Italian suits with a near-naked young woman in their midst. When a man becomes a member of their "Red Tie Fuck Club," he soon finds that his steep entrance fee offers a great deal of stateside benefits.

The scene with the European fellows was actually filmed in Europe but "Fuck Club" was shot here with American talent. And don't judge a movie by its cover: while Tori Black might look porn-wholesome in her half-shirt and cutoffs, she does wonderful/terrible things by an idyllic Porn Valley waterfall in the movie.

Ditto Jandi Lin, Maya Hills and Nicki Hunter, whose return to porn culminated in this - her first ever - double penetration scene. Hunter, as always, performs like a champ.

Also on hand is Tatiana Kush, who looks like Stoya's jealous little sister. She admirably handles Marco Banderas and Tony Desergio.

This movie borders on a Max Hardcore (but artier) level of clinical perspective, and is a little harder-edged than standard vignette porn. Though everyone involved seems up to the task, I would have liked fewer closeups so I could actually see the whole person more often.

I also would have liked if the concept of the "Fuck Club" hadn't broken down after the very first scene, but who cares? All those DPs at least instill a strong sense of teamwork and camaraderie.

· Harmony Films (harmonyuk.com)
· Upstairs/Downstairs with Tatiana Kush and Nicki Hunter (gramponante.com)
· Buy "Fuck Club" (gamelink.com)

There are things in porn that it’s always nice to see – some of them are rarer than others, so there is a calculus of enjoyment – a quantum, if you will – predicated on how good it feels to see them. The delectable Jandi Lin, for instance – her fascinating backpiece, beautiful face, and delicious body are always a treat; the fact that she is all over the place these days, appearing in dozens of movies and landing on our desk with satisfying regularity means that a Jandi sighting is, however wonderful, not all that much of a surprise. Her appearance, however, in a movie about encroaching Asian sluts with the word “invasion” spelled correctly in the title – it is a rare and precious thing. Thank you, Pink Visual, for that ‘O’, and for the many others in "Asian Slut Invasion #5."

· Pink Visual (www.pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Asian Slut Invasion #5" (gamelink.com)
· Buy Jandi Lin’s moves (gamelink.com)

The biggest American adult industry event prior to January's AVN Expo, the "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" premiere attracted most of the movie's stars including Jesse Jane, Katsuni, Stoya, the sylphlike Riley Steele, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Steven St. Croix, and David Aaron Clark, seen here with Jandi Lin, whose process in his pivotal whore-negotiating scene involved eating two turkey legs.

"I was there for two days of shooting," he said.

The premiere marks the midpoint of "Pirates"-related marketing and publicity, coming more than three years after the debut of its predecessor's first press release and three years before the collected weight of all its publicity efforts will sink the Pacific Rim (which, considering the analingus involved in this movie, would have made a good subtitle).

The only porn stars to arrive dressed like pirates were the swashbuckling Nicki Hunter and Tommy Gunn, the Stagnetti of the title, who wore his evil glass eye.

"I wasn't in the movie much," he said. "But I'm hoping for a Supporting Actor nomination," Gunn said.

"But you were the title character," we observed. Hollywood is so unfair.

Former Digital Playground contract performer Teagan prowled the red carpet for XBiz which, like rival AVN, now features video interviews. If only Sophia Santi and Janine had been there, it would have been a "Pirates" reunion.

Other porn luminaries in attendance were publicity magnet Kayden Kross, Aiden Starr, Bobbi Starr (no relation), Ringo Starr (not actually there), Satine Phoenix, Jenna Haze, and Sasha Grey, who came dressed as Sasha Grey.

As usual, Ange Venus, who plays the inscrutable Katsuni's henchwoman in the movie, attracted most of the attention on the red carpet, wearing almost nothing but her hair. Katsuni by comparison dressed very elegantly. It was as if Venus was going to the MTV Awards and Katsuni to the Golden Globes.

This reporter spent so much time outside that he did not get in on the free bar in the lobby, but by then the movie was starting. The crowd cheered as the first popshot broke over Shay Jordan's prow. We'll give you a review of the movie, that may or may not include the blurb Belladonna is salad tosseriffic!, soon.

- Photos by DCypher



• "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" (official site @ piratesthemovie.com)
• Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Pirates II: Stagnett's Revenge" (Adult DVD Empire)

Leslie releases his anal spelunking movies through Evil Angel, and this week he adds another volume to his critically acclaimed "Crack Her Jack" series. Starring Jenny Hendrix, Alexis Love, Jandi Lin, Candice Nicole, Melanie Scott, and Adriana DeVille, "Crack Her Jack 9" eschews Leslie's usual exploration of anomie and his carefully constructed mise-en-scène and is instead a more freewheeling and obviously affectionate tribute to the caramel-coated popcorn confection the director no doubt enjoyed during the halcyon days of his youth. And ass fucking.

· "Crack Her Jack 9" (DVD info + trailer @ evilangel.com)

From the press release: "I was sitting around thinking in all my years in the biz, all the sex scenes I've done, what is the best part of the experience, the ultimate? Well, that would be when one girl is sucking my cock and another is eating my ass. Or, one girl sitting on my face and the other eating my ass. Or, two girls eating my ass at once... you get the idea! I thought, 'why not make a movie about it?' And so Asseaters Unanimous 16: Dinner for Two was born."

We assure you that these are Before photos.

"Asseaters Unanimous 16" also stars Jandi Lin, Jada Fire, Angel Eyes, Naudia Nyce, Darryl Hanah, Flower Tucci, Carolyn Reese, Roxy DeVille, Adrianna Nicole, Holly Wellin, Dana DeArmond, and Paris Gables.

We are sorry that we have nothing else to tell you about this movie, since we're already late for dinner for the rest of our lives.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)