The only way this couple could possibly pull off such an effortless first fuck film is if they scripted it. Or maybe they just have sex like this every single time. Or maybe they've studied tons of porn. It's a good thing this video is so hot, otherwise we'd be too frustrated to be aroused.

· our first porn (xtube.com)

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

· (coutorture.com, via fashioncopious.typepad.com)

Fuck My Big Boobs

Studio: Private
Cast: Aletta Ocean, Black Angelika, Lisa Del Sierra, Terry, Jessica Moore, Mugur, Lauro Giotto, James Brosman, Leslie Taylor, Choky Ice

Review by: Gram Ponante

Even if you are not a fan of big breasts wielded by tiny, multilingual women, my feeling about you is that you will appreciate their dusky fleshiness and call your ravel agent, as they say in Italy, pronto.

The first couple warms each other up on a leather couch much like the one we have here at Fleshbot West. She unwraps a large glass dildo that he gamely rubs between her breasts. "I see this; I am hot," she says and, even though he is defying porn logic by deriving no pleasure for himself by rubbing the dildo thusly, we are reminded of the European's giving nature.

So, like breasts themselves, this movie is wholesome that way. I admit that I felt scandalized by the boxcover copy:

Are you a tit man? Are you boobsessed by baps. Isn't it the most tit-anic sensation when you hold those heavy warm milk churns in your hands? Doesn't it make your dick twitch just picturing them? Private brings you bags of fun with funbags. You will run out of tissues a lot sooner than you planned. These ladies love to have their bazookas fondled while they get fucked hard and long, their big boobs swinging and bouncing about making their pussies dripping wet for more cock and cum.

"What the hell are baps?" I said, making a note to get more tissues at Ralph's.

There are three kinds of big boobs in this movie: the big natural kind, the big fake kind that might pass as natural, and the reverse-engineered from spacecraft big bolt-ons. I have to say that all look great on their bearer, but would not work on anyone else; the red-haired siren with the zaftig jugs would not be served with the comparatively smaller but perfectly round boobs of her costar.

Likewise the wiry thing with the blue/black hair and perfect fake tits would not be any better off with her girlfriend's natural mams. (Mams is the American word for baps, by the way.)

There is no plot to this movie, but you don't need one. If you're Choky Ice and someone asks you to fuck her big boobs, you say "Ja."

· Private (private.com)
· Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)

Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)
Private (private.com)
]Buy "Private Specials 27: Fuck My Big Boobs" (gamelink.com)

We'll be back later. Maybe. It's hard to say. Would you want to come back to civilization if you had underwear worthy of frolicking through the pine-fresh forest? We thought not.

· Change Starts With Your Underwear. And Office Nudity (video @ AdRants)
· Original video via PACT Organic Underwear: Videos (wearpact.com)

· "La señora" (imdb.com)
· Adriana Ugarte in "La señora" (upcomingnudescenes.net)

· Diesel Intimates (diesel.com, via Violet Blue)

Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)
Katie Marie Cork (nsfwpoa.com)

· Beyonce Nip Slip (taxidrivermovie.com)

Nudity is always more alluring in the winter. Anyone can strut around naked in the sunshine, but it takes serious dedication to pimp your bod in the frost. Maybe Rosie prefers the cold; after all, some chicks are just too hot for the bear rug and fireplace.

· Get Cosy, Then Watch Rosie (frontarmy.co.uk)

You should know that no Swedes or French were fucked in the making of these films.

Since it is illegal to film most actual schoolgirls (unless they're on the five-year plan), we already know that Porn provides an extended adolescence for 24-year-olds to jump into pigtails and schoolgirl drag. Sadly, that prospect is moot in "French Schoolgirls," a badly shot and poorly edited compilation from long before its 1980 release credit, in which no French is spoken and no schoolgirl is deflowered.

But it's especially interesting to watch classic porn; perhaps because not only are these women currently older than us, but they also just look older on film.

It's also fun to watch classic porn because of the widely varying standards. While we have plenty of filmmakers today who consider their work Art, the condition was rampant in the so-called Golden Age. Hence why two Brooklyn-accented women discussing their sexual fantasies on a waterbed whilst smoking cigarettes and generally appearing to be in their late 20's are somehow the basis for calling this film "French Schoolgirls."

To reiterate: aside from the scratchy pop music in the background, nothing about this film (shot in New York City) is French.

It's a pretty bad film by any standard, but shots of the New York subway and John Holmes in his prime (the film credits him as John "Wadd" Holmes - can you imagine watching "Black Snake Moan" with Christina "The Ice Storm" Ricci?) are compelling. Oh, and one of the women appears to be fucking Freddie Mercury.

"Swedish Sorority Girls," on the other hand (starring Colleen Anderson, Karen Havens, Roger Caine, Paula Morton, David Christopher, Samantha Fox [yes, that Samantha Fox], Vee Summers, Clea Carson, and Joey Silvera [as Joey Civera, for some reason]) at least makes an effort, even if it is a laughable one.

For one thing, it has snow. For another, all the Americans say "ja" a lot and call each other by Ingrid or Sven. When Ingrid's American cousin flies into what appears to be a snow-covered Albany airport, the Ikeaporn begins.

Like "French Schoolgirls," however, no pretense is made in this film to justify the sorority of the title.

Though both films were released in 1980 ("French Schoolgirls" appears much older), it is clear that, even then, producers were aware that they could pretty much get away with anything as long as nudity was involved.

And that is true even to this day. Sometimes I show a little nipple when I don't have enough cash for the tip at TGI Friday's.

But at least "Swedish Sorority Girls," with its snowball fights, gratuitous "Ja"s, and a blonde, tries.

· VCX (vcx.com)

VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)
VCX (vcx.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

We understand that this is a remake of a noir film, but come on. It's neo-noir. We're fine with having shadowy figures hide in the dark, but could those figures not be Amber Tamblyn's boobs? Fritz Lang would've wanted it that way. Turn up the brightness for this one.

· Beyond A Reasonable Doubt (2009) (imdb.com)
· Amber Tamblyn :: Beyond A Reasonable Doubt (deepatseavideos.com)

UPDATE: A full list of the award winners can be found here.

8:34
I know we said we'd get started at 8:45, but there's tons of people here, and I'm impatient. In case you've forgotten who the top five contender for the Fleshbot Readers' Choice Awards are, here's a recap!

In other news: The Baroness and Dante Posh just rolled through, as did Syd Blakovich, Jiz Lee, and that crew.

8:39
Just saw Michael Musto from the Village Voice, looking brilliant as always. Joanna Angel is parked by the bar with her date. And... Yep, Syd Blakovich exits the bar double-fisting drinks. It's going to be a good time.

8:49
There's a mysterious naked man with long hair, a mask, and a fedora standing on the bar. No one seems to notice. (If you haven't guessed by now, I'm stuck by the bar.)

9:03
Much of the adult entertainment crowd was just ushered upstairs for a photo session. The show should be starting soon.

9:04
Oh snap! It's beginning! Justin Bond is singing the dirtiest song he knows and he looks like a healthy Liza Minnelli.

9:07
John Cameron Mitchell just joined Justin on the stage. They both look adorable. The first presenter: Justine Joli! Pinch me.

9:10
Jimmy Jane wins the Sexiest Technology Award!

FYI the awards that are being given out are giant, steel, double-sided dildos, just like in the picture.

9:12
Michael Lucas is presenting the next award for the Sexiest Fashion Newcomers. Michael Lucas is one busy man. Google him.

9:14
The Blonds win! They are so blond.

Mantrix is now performing. The crowd is entranced.

9:16
I may have gotten that last name wrong. This is hard to describe. It's like Cirque du Soleil, but less French and more nude.

9:22
Julie Atlas Muz is presenting the award for Sexiest Art. How do you decide what art is sexiest? Doesn't it depend on the genre. Ah, this is about comic art. I'm slightly hard of hearing. Anyway, the award goes to Paul Pope, but Ben Naples is accepting for him.

Presenters can't help exclaiming over the glory of the Double-Sided Dildo award.

9:25
Rob Roth: "CGI is for hot cocks that never need fluffing." This next award is for the world's best gay-porn-computer-generated animation.

The award goes to "Pirate's Booty!" We love that film.

9:27
Prince of Porn Performance Art, Tom Judson is taking the stage. He actually just got here (I saw him go by), and he seems a bit flustered. He's presenting the Mainstream Crossover Award. I wonder who that will go to...

PS: Did you know that Tom Judson was the oldest recipient of the GayVN Performer of the Year award?

9:30
Sasha Grey wins! Surprise(?)! Unfortunately, she's not here. She's in Portugal. But she did record a lovely video for us/plug for her new project.

This is all moving really fast. In fact, this is probably the first award show to be ahead of schedule.

9:35
Our beloved Lux is taking the stage (she's so graceful!), and it's time for the Readers' Choice Awards:

Marco Blaze wins the for the men! Unfortunately, he's overseas (and didn't record a video for us).

For the fems, it's Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel! And she's here! And she's flustered. And she is sooo fine. (Some think she looks a bit like Sarah Silverman. What do you think?)

9:38
Justine Joli is doing a striptease to "You Can Leave Your Hat On." Her hat is definitely the only thing still on.

9:41
It's intermission time! Let's all browse Fleshbot while we wait for more pornstars to come on stage! Yay!

Also, Lux would like to take this moment to thank nJoy, who sponsored this event by making those epic dildo-awards: The Eleven. See you all in a jiff.

10:04
Intermission Notes:
Intermission consists of five foxy representatives from The Box grinding on stage. My personal favorite is the guy wearing a black corset with matching gas mask.
They're playing Mickey Avalon's "My Dick." I know this song by heart. It's embarrassing.

Patrice O'Neal is here. He's looking good!

Justine Joli (who I'm slowly becoming obsessed with) walks like she's stripteasing. All. The. Time. It's amazing.

Some people with a camera just came by and asked me what I'm doing. They had me read some stuff. If you ever see me somewhere looking sweaty and confused, that's what that was.

10:10
Something is happening...
Someone's performing a dance as a vagina. Not in the Georgia O'Keefe way. Like a real, pulsing, quaking, dripping vagina. With a big, sequined clit.

I guess Intermission is over?

10:12
Lorelei Lee is looking gorgeous. As is Belladonna, whose dress says something very Whitney Houston to me. (In a "Bodyguard" way.)

10:14
It's time for the Mainstream-to-Porn Crossover Award. As everyone knows, Levi Johnson is the lucky recipient. He just let us know that his magazine spread comes out next week. Any guesses what he'll do with The Eleven?

10:15
Ryan Keely is presenting the next award: Sexiest Advertising.

Who is our favorite, billboard-bombing, butt-showing clothing company? American Apparel, of course. Marsha Brady (no relation) is accepting on behalf of the company.

And it's time for another act! A famous S&M performer, Mistress Lee and her Pet Rudy.

10:18
Could that be Mistress Jiz Lee?

10:20
It's hard to see back here. But I can hear the Cat-O'-Nine-Tails.

10:22
Actually, it's more of a contortionist/acrobatic act. They are, after all, circus folk. And I don't think it was Jiz Lee. Liveblogging fail.

10:25
Jonathan Ames, writer/creator of Bored to Death (among other things), is presenting the Sexiest TV Award.

"This was a good year for couch potatoes. Especially couch potatoes with a libido."

10:26
True Blood wins! I love that show. No one is here to receive the award, so Jonathan Ames is taking the dildo home. Real talk, Jonathan Ames. Real talk.

10:31
Our last presenter is Joey Arias, who asks, "Is everybody horny? Who likes cum?"

The winner of the Fleshbot Lifetime Sexy Fashion Award is Patricia Field! If you don't know, look her up. I'm busy applauding.

10:32
The night is winding down. How will we finish off this beautiful event?

10:35
It's Belladonna!

10:38
Oh dear, she has a dildo.

10:47
Cannot describe what just went on. Amazing. I'll try to fill this in later. Wow.

Sadly, that brings us to the end of the night. We've had a lot of fun here, and there should be more pics and such tomorrow. Until then, thanks for being with us. We love you all.

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Previously: The First Annual Fleshbot Awards