The Foundry, the advertising agency that skankified the classic character, said they "challenged the consumer's notion of what this beer was," and we couldn't agree with them more. Allegedly, the dwarves (dwarfs?) represent seven types of drunks, but they could just as easily represent the seven types of post-coital emotions. It must be some damn good beer.

If Disney were smart, they'd put all this bad blood aside and cast Megan Fox in the Ho White full-length feature (she kinda looks like Megan Fox, doesn't she?). All this press is just going to sell more raspberry ale and cartoon porn, and Disney isn't doing anything to capitalize on that. Keep your pimp hand strong, Disney.

· AdFreak.com (adweek.com)
· AdelaideNow (news.com.au)

But what makes this story really interesting is that Bitch isn't your ordinary "no naked ladies, please" feminist magazine—as things go, they're pretty pro-sexy. In the past, they've run ads for porn sites (including a porn site run by yours truly); they've also sponsored burlesque festival Tease-O-Rama (a move they got a good deal of flack for).

So what, pray tell, makes this specific act of sexiness one that's anti-feminist? Is it the fact that the sexiness is gratuitous? Is the pubic hair just a bit over the line? Is it the line about good things in pink boxes? We're scratching our heads over here—but we'd love to hear your thoughts on the issue.

· Rejected Ad Of The Week: Bitch Turns Down Pussy (animalnewyork.com)

And unlike those on Twitter who felt that this picture was reason to lambast Ms. McCain a "slut," we think the picture was perfectly appropriate. Heck, we'd think it was inappropriate if Meghan didn't choose to rock the cleavage from time to time (especially when she's at home relaxing).

Meghan, we may not agree with you all the time—but we're totally willing to defend to the death your right to wear flattering outfits that show off your figure. That's just the kind of patriots we are.

· Meghan McCain's TwitPic (twitpic.com)

Equally opportunity objectification, right? Everyone naked, in perfect harmony...that's our dream, at least.

· Srsly: who buys a car because of its headlights? (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Though the film was unseen by festivalgoers—the organizers deemed a civil disobedience screening too much of a risk—the official jury decided that it warranted the prize for "Best Short Film." It may not be quite the dramatic crumbling of Australian censorship that we were hoping for...but it's still nice to see Australians standing up for their right to view sex on film.

· "Matinee" (blueartichokefilms.com)

Highly esteemed research journal Details has the story: armed with a few statistics (there's a lot of porn out there, most kids have seen it at some point, anal sex is increasingly popular) and a handful of anecdotes, they're here to make the case that the internet has dramatically changed the way that teens have sex. And they don't seem to think it's a bad thing—but we suspect that the countless other outlets that pick up the story and treat it as gospel will do their best to incite a moral panic.

A moral panic that's likely unwarranted, at that: a handful of anecdotes about how boys hate pubic hair and love facials and girls are super pervy aren't really enough to convince us that all kids, everywhere in America, are now raging sluts. Because it's not like we haven't heard this before (anyone remember the rainbow parties?). But you know what? Even if there is a widespread phenomenon of sexually literate teenagers...is that really so bad?

Sexually precocious teens have existed long before the internet, after all: over in that libertine land known as Europe, things that might pass as hardcore smut in the States are readily available; and it doesn't seem that the population is much the worse for it (in fact, if the porn we see coming out of Hungary is any indication, they're much, much better for it).

And let's not forget that access to porn isn't the only thing that's made teens more aware of—and comfortable with—sex and sexuality. The internet has also created a vast number of sex education resources, including many targeted specifically at teens. Should the fact that sites like sexetc.org offer honest info on topics like anal sex really be sending us all into a panic?

Frankly, there are worse things in the world than teens who are aware that sex is good, and that flavors beyond vanilla exist. If anything, a more sexually literate teen populace simply means that we'll have to, you know, actually talk to our kids about sex, making sure that they're getting the right message from whatever it is that they're running into.

But, oh, wait. This is America. Forget what we said before: let the moral panic commence!

· How Internet Porn Is Changing Teen Sex (men.style.com)
· Thumbnail via Stroke My Dick Now (jointheporn.com)

To be fair, we should give these "journalists" some credit, as these photos date from a period when Dita worked as Bedroom Betty (rather than the period when she just made porn as Dita Von Teese). So they had to do some work to find them...and since we always love seeing Dita naked, we are at least grateful for that effort (though we'd be even more grateful if they would uncover more hardcore Dita porn).

Dita Von Teese (bild.de)
Dita Von Teese (bild.de)
Dita Von Teese (bild.de)
Dita Von Teese (thesun.co.uk)
Dita Von Teese (thesun.co.uk)
Dita Von Teese (thesun.co.uk)

We will, of course, keep you informed as further updates surface.

· Abby Winters owner Garion Hall issues statement (somebodythinkofthechildren.com, more @ avn.com)

Now, we understand that there's apparently some scandal about Carrie not telling the Miss California officials about these photos. But you know what the real scandal is? The fact that TMZ hasn't released uncensored versions of these photos. How are we to know just how scandalized we're supposed to feel if we can't see any nipple?

UPDATE: Carrie Prejean responds.

· Miss California Topless — Oops, She Did It Again (tmz.com)

Now Vivid is getting in on the action, too, offering Carrie Prejean one million dollars to star in one of their films. Which really leaves just one question: should Carrie be offended that she's been offered the same amount of money as Octomom? (Oh, that and: Vivid, seriously, WTF?)

· Miss California — Define 'Semi-Nude' (tmz.com)
· Miss California Offered Million Dollar Porn Role (tmz.com)

The internets are currently in a tizzy over the fact that Carrie Prejean (aka the Miss California who's against gay marriage) once modeled... without her top on. Supposedly, this photo (the only one we've seen so far) is but one of six—and some are claiming that the others are even more scandalous. (Which is not a difficult claim to live up to, as this is about the least scandalous "topless" photo ever.)

It's going to take at least a nipple before we can actually classify this as a celebrity nude scandal. At least.

· Exclusive Image: Miss California Carrie Prejean Exposed (thedirty.com)
· Topless Photos Of Miss California Carrie Prejean Hit The Internet (theinsider.com)

Specifically, the California Employment Training Panel, which provides subsidies for training to make in-state corporations more competitive on a national scale. For years, Kink had used the program to provide its employees with video and multimedia training—but alas, they've now been cut off from this training.

What happened? It seems that a certain writer for the San Francisco Weekly decided to investigate why the state of California was subsidizing "torture porn"—and in the process, set off a chain of events that left Kink.com out in the cold. You can read the whole story over on the SF Weekly's website—but be warned, it's peppered with lots of poor reporting, judgmental talk about alternative sexuality, and, well, more poor reporting (though antiporn sources are quoted discussing the obvious abuse of Kink.com's models, not one of the models is quoted discussing his or her experience). A few sample quotes, just to give you a taste:

Riedel denies the victimization charge. "Most of our models have been around longer than the down economy," he said. "We go through an extensive interview process to make sure they're okay with this. We don't like working with models that aren't into this. If it's not consensual, it doesn't work."

San Francisco clinical psychologist Melissa Farley doesn't buy that. In 2007, she posted on her antipornography Web site, Traffick Jamming, the famous photograph of a hooded Abu Ghraib prisoner alongside a photograph she says came from Kink.com of a shackled, blindfolded woman apparently being poked with a cattle prod. "In this economy, this is something women would rather not do, but they feel they have to," she said. "This is a form of economic coercion. But people would rather not think of it that way. People think of it as a matter of rights, rather than ask the question, 'Should people have a right not to do this?'"

The company has passed itself off in articles in The New York Times Magazine, Salon, 7x7, and other publications as a hip, if esoteric, high-tech media startup. Yet its business plan is more medieval than modern, consisting, as it does, of giving people money if they'll agree to being on camera while being stripped, bound, impaled, beaten, and shocked.

Ah, fair and balanced journalism.

· Whipped and Gagged (sfweekly.com)
· See also: SF Weekly's Matt Smith Screws Kink.com: Unfair, Unbalanced, Malfeasant Journalism (sfappeal.com)
· Thumbnail: Mika Tan on Fucking Machines (fuckingmachines.com, via Ask Jolene)

Seriously, though, we're extremely disturbed by the implication that people over the age of sixty don't have the ability to decide for themselves whether or not they want to be featured in an erotic film. What next—are we going to force everyone over the age of sixty to retire and move to Boca?

· Proposed Ban on Making and Distributing Pornography Involving >60-Year-Olds and the Disabled (Including Spouses or Lovers Consensually Photographing Each Other) (volokh.com, thanks FalconryoftheEroticVariety!!)
· State puts porn pervs in sights (bostonherald.com)
· An Act Relative to Posing or Exhibiting or Disseminating Material of an Elder or a Person with a Disability in a State of Nudity or Sexual Conduct. (mass.gov)
· Thumbnail by Katrin Trautner

We've seen more "obscene" images on public billboards—who knew postal workers had such sensitive sensibilities?

· Post Office Refuses to Mail 'Obscene' Postcard For Movie (adrants.com)

What is this "best job" you ask? Why, caretaker for the Great Barrier Reef, of course—a job that pays $150,000 (and provides free housing!), and doesn't require all that much in the way of responsibility. Naturally, to hire someone for the job, you'd want to turn the search into a giant publicity stunt, allowing any random person to vote for the next caretaker—which is how lovely Julia—a 29-year-old Russian marine biologist—quickly rose to the top of the list... and was summarily dismissed when Queensland Tourism learned a little about her past.

More's the pity, really, as we're not sure why working as a webcam girl would make someone (especially someone trained as a marine biologist!) a bad reef caretaker. You know, between this and that stupid porn filter, we're getting less and less keen on Australia. If it wasn't for Abby Winters and Girls Out West, we'd probably just write off the whole continent.

[Thanks to I for the video and tip!]

· The Best Job In The World (islandreefjob.com)
· Russian 'best job' candidate dumped over porn video (abc.net.au)
· Julia Yalovitsyna Porn Pictures: Porn Scandal for Tropical Island "Best Job in the World" Australian Tourism Competition (hottiesinthenews.blogspot.com)

The sex ed podcast, which has been educating (and occasionally titillating) the teens for over a year now, has seen its short lifespan beset by a lack of advertising and a surplus of censorship. Why can't we all just let the midwest teens learn about sex in peace?

· ‘Midwest Teen Sex Show' Episodes Removed from Myspace, YouTube, Facebook (tilzy.tv)