Savanna On Sex

Seeing as Savanna Samson can do nearly everything — she's a porn goddess, vintner, singer and writer — we'd suggest you take her advice on, well, anything. In her column on xcritic.com, she offers pretty sound (and sexy) sex advice. More »

You Come To This Kitchen Often?

You know you sometimes eye that piece fruit, or that naughty vegetable, wondering what it would feel like right there. And we've got news for you: that vegetable is thinking about you too. More »

"This Ain't The Stimulus Package XXX" Debuts On Limited Screens

Mr. Flynt may not have secured a porn bailout—but that won't stop the pornographers from giving the rest of us the stimulus package we so desperately need. More »

"PG Porn" Finds Its Stride (And Sasha Grey Helps!)

After some trial and error, it seems that James Gunn's "PG Porn" has finally hit its stride. The latest installment, "Roadside Ass-istance" (featuring Sasha Grey), actually made us laugh. Out loud, in fact! More »

You Mean Ron Jeremy Doesn't Actually Speak French?

Porn "plots" aren't always realistic, or even particularly well written, but at least they can be good for a few laughs. (regretfulmorning.com, thumbnail)

"PG Porn" Wishes You A Very Belladonna Christmas

It's been so long since the first installment of "PG Porn" that we'd thought the project had been entirely abandoned. But no: "PG Porn" is back just in time for Christmas—and with Belladonna in tow! More »

Surfer Girls 2: Where Surf Meets Sex

"Surfer Girls 2": a porn in which the girlfriends of the Beach Boys fuck sharks, wax their surfboards with semen, and adorn their genitals with kelp. Or, er, maybe not. Look, in all the hustle and bustle and what have you, we may not have actually watched this movie, or even picked it up from the store. But whatever: the good people at PopPorn have put together a review that tells us everything we need to know about this instant classic from "Shane's World." Well, mostly. In any case, we get to see Morgan Mae's boobs... and isn't that what really matters? Video after the jump. More »

We've seen more than a few bad pornos in our day... but none quite so awful as those imagined up by the readers of Cracked. Though, really, you all know you're dying to see "Shins of Sin." (cracked.com)

Having a bachelor party? You might want to leave the kids at home. We know babies like boobs and all, but you want them to have something to look forward to when they grow up. (postyourgirls.com)

T. Rex is totally right: we do need a new analogy for sex. At the very least it will give professional sex writers a whole new way to talk about boning, banging, and doing the horizontal polka (though as far as we're concerned people don't talk about doing the horizontal polka enough.) (qwantz.com)

When Playboy Shoots Go Wrong

Though it may seem that Playboy models are born fully formed from the head of Hugh Hefner, clad in lingerie and ready to take perfect shot after perfect shot, the truth is that even Playmates are all too human. And, as evidenced by this collection of Playboy bloopers, they're even capable of taking a bad photo every now and then! But then, who wants a perfect Playmate anyway? At least these gals have a sense of humor. (hotbox.thumblogger.com)

We thought ourselves well acquainted with the wild and crazy world of dickisms, but after briefly browsing Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms, we realize we're mere novices when it comes to conversing about the 21st digit. If you can take a break from wrestling with Beastus Maximus, check out this comprehensive database and learn every term from A to Zamboner. (starma.com, via dailybedpost.com)

Proving that some memes will never die: behold what we believe to be the world's first "2 Girls, 1 Cup" birthday cake. Don't worry, that cup is full of chocolate. We think. (flickr.com - thanks Blakeley)

2008's Top Ten Porn Parodies: Life Imitates Art?

While some porno titles are clearly the products of divine inspiration ("Cum Fart Tsunami," anyone?), others rely on more mundane sources of inspiration. giving us "The Eliot Splitz-her Story" and any number of "Sex and the City" clones. In a tip of the hat to the latter mode of pornspiration, Mike Myers and Dana Carvey teamed up during the MTV Movie Awards to offer us the "Top Ten Porno Names Based On Hit Movies Of 2008." Any idea how long it'll take for the porno studios to actually make these into real stroke flicks? Cause we're dying to see "The Suck-It List."

When Porn (Still) Isn't Porn

Porn pictures that have been digitally enhanced into a state of glossy hyperrealistic perfection are nothing new—but what are we to make of porn pictures that are digitally enhanced to the point of not being pornographic anymore? We're not sure if the anonymous author of this blog lifted these creations from a certain thread at Something Awful a while back or created them him/herself, but as far as we're concerned they're still among the best things we've come across since lolpr0n. (And those examples which are not only Photoshopped and Painted beyond recognition but have lolpr0n captions too? Even better! More »

When "Bad Sex" Happens To Good People

Statistically speaking, the more sex one has the less chance it will be bad, even if the bloom might fade from the rose after Partner 100 or Client 9. Perhaps this is why the anecdotes in "Bad Sex," a collection of first-person accounts culled by the editors of Nerve.com, just don't seem all that awful on the (w)hole. More »

Life In The Trenches: Brian Shackleford's "Porn Editor"

If you are looking for the elusive missing link between porn and mainstream entertainment, the editor is the closest you'll get. Whichever side of the Hollywood sign he's on, when he surfaces after cutting up your movie, he usually hates it, and you. Brian Shackleford's mostly-Flash animated "Porn Editor," airing weekly on HBO, deals bluntly with the sadness of large breast desensitization, celebrity porn slumming, and mismanaged Avid expectations. (Ed. note: We know the feeling.)
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Getting "Mortified": Because It Always Hurts The First Time

Sexual frankness and its component shame in public isn't limited to emerging fully formed in "Barely Legal" or deleted MySpace pages. In fact, a commoditized multimedia mortification trend has taken shape in bookstores and stages across America (and in Sweden!) at the hands of a plucky band of "Angstologists". More »

Since we're trying to get into the holiday spirit today, let's join those wacky troubadours The Wet Spots for a few choruses of the ultra-catchy instant classic "Fist Me This Christmas", shall we? Sure beats listening to yet another rendition of "Carol of the Bells" or "The Nutcracker Suite" on yet another cheesy TV commercial. (goodiebag.tv)

Non-Porn Of The Moment: "The Boys' & Girls' Guide To Getting Down"

We don't watch porn all the time. Sometimes we watch movies that make us think, "She should be in porn." Such was the case with "The Boys & Girls Guide To Getting Down", sort of a travelogue about several blocks in Los Angeles and the substance-fueled meowry that dwell therein ... as well as a helpful primer on getting them naked and making your escape after doing so. More »

Porn On TV: Playboy's "Canoga Park"

Canoga Park is one of Porn Valley's many subdivided ranchos that grew as a bedroom community of Los Angeles after World War II. Lucy and Desi had a house here. It also happens to be ground zero (adjacent) of America's Porn Belt (only neighboring Chatsworth has more gapes per acre). Playboy TV has endeavored to capture the rich pornic aroma of the place with this semi-scripted comedy, which will sneak preview this Friday and go into regular rotation November 9. Can "Canoga Park" do for the San Fernando Valley what "Bonanza" did so many years before? That's hardly relevant. More »

Sunday With Stormy

The tiny dynamo, or pornomo, that is Stormy Daniels writes and directs most of the movies she stars in, including her latest, "Operation Desert Stormy". This Sunday she will join the Upright Citizens Brigade at their theatre in Hollywood to talk about the movie and to make with the "personal reminiscences" as fodder for their show. We have not yet seen "Operation Desert Stormy" because we've yet to crawl out from under its mountain of related swag, but we hear it's very funny, and the UCB is pretty damn funny as well, so once you're clear of your audit at the Celebrity Centre across the street, go see Stormy. More »

Yay! The Pool Guy's Here!

In Penthouse Digital's upcoming "Sexual Revolution" by director Guy Capo, a segment titled "Attack of the Porno Plots" features what happens when the plumber, the pizza delivery man, the cable guy, and the pool cleaner all visit Sophie on the very same magic day. From what we saw, the cable guy got the least action of the four workmen. See? That's what you get for charging me for my air channels. More »

LOLpr0n of the Moment: Micah Moore

As Fleshbot prepares for its ultra-secret v.3 upgrade tomorrow (or the tomorrow after that, in the mind of God), we said goodbye to those glorious 500 px. wide images and searched for something all 250-ish. What better delivery system than the delicious Micah Moore, having landed the way no cat would in Kick Ass Pictures' upcoming foot fetish movie "Barefoot Confidential"? More »