Even Bad Movies Can Have Good Sex

It's a sad fact of life that the quality of a movie's sex scenes bears no actual relation to the quality of the movie itself. In fact, as anyone who has ever subscribed to Cinemax can tell you, some of the best sex scenes can only be found with very generous use of the fast forward button. This post from Nerve is a mini-salute to boring, slow, overwrought and downright awful movies that also include footage of two hot people getting on. Or failing that, Ben Affleck. Enjoy one of the only highlights of that Oliver Stone classic "The Doors" below. (Audio warning; video starts automatically.) More »

Celebrity Sex Tapes 101

Do you ever wonder how those amateur celebrity sex tapes go from rumor to back door deal to shady paysites to your computer? Or why some videos become money-making blockbusters, while other never make it past step one? The L.A. Times investigates this sexual black market and the answers may surprise you. Or not. (latimes.com)

It's no longer P.C. to make fun of drunks or fat people—but as far as Hollywood and much of the media is concerned, it's still totally OK to make fun of sex addicts. In fact, even we here at Fleshbot may have been guilty of doing so on occassion. But only because they're having more sex than we are and we're jealous. (nytimes.com)

If Hollywood Sex Scenes Were Real

Have you ever found yourself watching two of your favorite on-screen characters locked in a passionate embrace and wished that your own love life could be that perfect and beautiful? And then you remembered that sex is a dirty, complicated, and occasionally frightening experience and that even the smoothest, most romantic sexual romp you've ever had didn't turn out that good. Maybe it's time for a little honesty in our movie lovemaking? Or maybe not. More »

HBO is currently developing a show called "Hung" about a character "like Spider-Man" only his superpower is his giant wang. Will it be the feel good hit of the summer or will it just leave you numb, wanting a cigarette, and maybe a little bored? (variety.com)

Ah, the good old days when the concept of a "naughty nurse" involved nothing more risque than "a liberal display of lacy '30s underwear". After all that hardcore nurse porn we've been dosing ourselves with lately, lacy '30s underwear actually seems sort of kinky. (nytimes.com)

Full-Frontal Movie Nudity: We've Got Bush

Full frontal is like the Holy Grail of movie nudity—elusive, thrilling and occasionally just a myth. Yet, a simple glimpse of below the belt flesh will also make you feel young again, mostly because Hollywood seemed to do it best in the 80s and 90s when on-screen nudity was a lot more precious. (Or maybe we were just going to the wrong theaters?) Check out the Uber blog's video retrospective of some the best historical examples of this phenomenon and ponder if this classic "Revenge of the Nerds" moment would have as much impact today ... or if the famous punchline would even make sense to today's bare down there generation. More »

Instead of complaining about sex scenes we don't like, we prefer to reminisce about Hollywood sex moments that were actually worth remembering—or those moments that made absolutely no sense.

We've always felt that a nude scene is like pizza (even when it's bad, it's still pretty good), but the editors of Paper magazine have listed what they consider to be the worst movie nude scenes of all-time, which basically means any scene involving someone they find unattractive. Not listed: Anyone who works at Paper magazine, because no one would pay them to take their clothes off on film. (papermag.com)

Got two tickets to the Academy Awards and a penchant for cuckoldry? This Craigslist ad posted by a man and his very willing girlfriend has (sadly) been taken down, but it would have been right up your alley. Heck, bring a video camera and you could've even have had an entry for the 2009 ceremony! (Defamer)

Nuts Goes To The (Topless) Movies

Even though we watch a lot of hardcore movies where tits are a dime a dozen, there's still something a little bit thrilling about seeing an actress pop a boob or two out in a mainstream Hollywood movie. Maybe it's because it's more unexpected or the women are (sometimes) more famous—or maybe it's just because a naked breast is a naked breast and no matter how you're seeing it, it's still cool. You should ponder these great unknowables while admiring Nuts magazine's screen capture skills in their latest cover feature, "100 Topless Movie Babes." The gals are presented in no particular order, so no fighting over who deserves the Academy Award for Best Lighting, Most Jiggle, or Best Set Design. And yes, the magazine does make a "Golden Globes" reference so that's already been taken care of for you. More »

Popshots Of The Week: 2008 XBiz Awards Edition

We will let the press releases speak for themselves, because we have come to the conclusion that no one pays attention at adult awards shows — including the nevertheless enjoyable XBiz Awards last night, at which we at least know "Upload" won Best Feature and "Porn Week"'s Harmony Films won Best Emerging Studio (nice trick for being five years old) before Flower Tucci started disrobing and our attention was called elsewhere. See more snaps after the gap. More »

We have no plans to see the new vagina dentata scarefest "Teeth," even if we can totally appreciate a good "women are evil creatures who will eat you alive" metaphor. Here are some more subtle examples of Hollywood screenwriters working out their personal issues with the ladies. By the way, you will never watch "Return of the Jedi" the same way again. (nymag.com)

Elisha Cuthbert Naked! (Or Not)

Do these look like the pert, young breasts of a bright, young movie starlet? That's the question on everyone's mind as they look at this clip from little-seen indie adventure, "He Was A Quiet Man." The movie stars a very creepy-looking Christian Slater and a very paraplegic-looking Elisha Cuthbert, and this pair of tits that may or may not belong to her. Consider the fact the she has thus far managed to go an entire career—including two hours playing an actual pornstar—without taking her clothes off and combine that with some rather suspicious edits and the general consensus seems to be those are not authentic Cuthboobs. Still, if you watch the video below and use a little imagination it does create the illusion of seeing her naked ... and isn't that what movie magic is all about? More »

Every movie should strive to have a good D-list actress in the cast. Did we say D-list? We meant D-cup and this video showcase will help explain why. (uber.com)

Mainstream Sex Watch: Marisa Tomei Wakes The "Dead"

Much like George Costanza, we've long held a torch for Marisa Tomei and just assumed that if only we could meet she'd find our particular "type" sexy. She's a little older and we're a little wiser, but we're still glad that she finally found a movie role that allows her a significant amount of time to walk around naked. Footage from her new-ish film "Before The Devil Knows Your Dead" has been passed around the webs quite a bit lately, but we think just about every frame of her nakedness has been captured in this Egotastic post in both video and still form. Of course, in this instance "Marisa Tomei nude scene" also means "Philip Seymour Hoffman nude scene," but beggars who still own "My Cousin Vinny" on VHS can't be choosers. More »

Porn Valley Dispatch: I Am Porny Monster

Not since a Gina Lynn poster showed up in the back room of the Bada Bing has pornic memorabilia been so immortalized as when the last man on Earth chatted up a mannequin under Joanna Angel's watchful gaze. Opening weekend attendees of the Will Smith zombie/apocalypse vehicle "I Am Legend" were thrilled to see Joanna Angel's "Porny Monster" featured in the background of a scene in Tower Records, which had its own apocalypse prior to the movie's release. More »

Hollywood Sex Scene Database: Never Rent A DVD Again!

Ever since "Knocked Up" turned Mr. Skin into a household name, the rest of the world is now aware of what horny internet hounds have known for years—the days of renting movies and sitting through the entire thing just for that 15-second glimpse of your favorite actress' boobs are over. And thanks to the current state of online video, not only can you learn exactly what moment to fast forward to—you don't even need the actual movie anymore! Just find a site like Nerve's new Hollywood Sex Scene Database and see a wide array of mainstream films boiled down to their T-and-A-filled essence Even though it's far from complete, the database is free and it includes most of your more well-known fleshy moments like this notorious glimpse of Mickey Rourke and Carré Otis (allegedly) actually doing it in the 1990 Zalman King potboiler "Wild Orchid". The mailman who has to lug your Netflix videos everyday will thank you. More »

Non-Porn Of The Moment: "The Boys' & Girls' Guide To Getting Down"

We don't watch porn all the time. Sometimes we watch movies that make us think, "She should be in porn." Such was the case with "The Boys & Girls Guide To Getting Down", sort of a travelogue about several blocks in Los Angeles and the substance-fueled meowry that dwell therein ... as well as a helpful primer on getting them naked and making your escape after doing so. More »

Speaking of NC-17 and other things innocent eyes should not see, is there a Hollywood double standard when it comes to flabby old men taking their clothes off? If Bob Hoskins and Harvey Keitel can do it, why not Kathy Bates? Or to put it another way: Why is Bob Hoskins always taking his clothes off? (latimes.com)

Great Moments In Showering: Hollywood Edition

You're all familiar with the phrase "gratuitous nudity", right? It's generally applied to movie scenes in which a female character inexplicably takes off her top, even though the plot, dialogue or character's development do not call for it in any way. Actresses have routinely railed against this practice, declaring that they will only get naked on camera if it is essential to the story. Fortunately, some brave Hollywood screenwriter—who is probably right at this moment standing on a cold picket line somewhere—invented the shower scene. Everyone takes showers, right? So no matter whether your movie is buddy cop flick, a sci-fi alien adventure, or an Oscar-caliber Serious Relationship vehicle, a nice steamy bath moment can be seamlessly woven into the action. And since you have to be naked if you're taking a shower, there's nothing "gratuitous" about it! Our only concern is that to put together this list of the "classic" movie shower scenes, someone actually had to watch "Cruel Intentions 2." That's what's known as "gratuitous violence". More »

Angelina Jolie says she was "shy" about showing her gold-plated (and animated) tits in the new "Beowulf" movie, as if the rest of the western world didn't already have those babies firmly committed to memory. (people.com)

Movie Sex Scenes, Take Two

Movie remakes are usually iffy propositions. If you're trying to update a beloved cinema classic, no matter how good the end result, it's going to be tough to top the fans' memories of the original. There's one area, however, where the remake almost always has a clear advantage and that's when it comes to re-imagining the onscreen boinking. More »

Kimberly Kane Shoots, Scores

If we were still in grad school, we might look at this video and say something about how Kimberly Kane is subverting traditional notions of the male gaze and establishing a gynocentric hegemony of vision by recontextualizing her role in the relationship between artist and subject. But thankfully we're not in grad school anymore, so we can just watch it and appreciate Kimberly's talents as a photographer—and how great she looks no matter which side of the camera she's on. (We could also say something about how the whole CFNM fetish thing reifies assumed notions of gender, authority, and control ... but why bother getting into all that?) More »

More than a few actors have had their careers launched (or at least helped out) by a little bit of nudity. So why are they almost always so ashamed by it? This roundup of celebrities with a "dark past" reveals more than a few mainstream actors who got their start in less-than-mainstream ways. Unfortunately, the accompanying photo gallery has no incriminating photos, so you'll just have to use your imagination if you want to see just what Kevin Costner was doing on "Sizzle Beach USA." (javno.com)

The Justice Department wants Hollywood movies to follow the same 2257 rules as porn companies, but Hollywood has a little more pull in Congress than the Valley, so how do you think this story is going to end? (hollywoodreporter.com)

Anna Faris may be going from playing a Playmate to playing a pornstar as she's planning on starring in a film biography of Linda Lovelace. If she needs help with her "research," hopefully she knows where to find us. (mtv.com)

Do you like Mr. Skin, but wish the site had less video and more reading? Then maybe his new book "The 501 Greatest Movies for Sex & Nudity on DVD" is right for you. It's informative and portable! (gearlive.com)

TMZ muscles in on our territory with a photo gallery of Hollywood's biggest boobs, which appropriately includes both K-Fed and Mel Gibson in addition to the usual suspects. Looks like their scope is even more comprehensive than we would have given them credit for. (tmz.com, via Xfanz)

The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes In Cinema, More Or Less

Summer television usually consists of the worst of reruns and reality show castoffs, but occasionally a network will put in a little effort and produce something that's actually worth watching, like IFC has done with their mini-documentary series "Indie Sex." Starting today, (which actually meant this morning at midnight so we already missed part one) tonight, the program looks at sex in film from the early days of motion pictures through the Hayes Code and the shocking shockers of today. (Ooh! Maggie Gyllenhaal just got spanked!) As a supplement to the show, IFC's website has teamed up with Nerve to make a list of the 50 best scenes ever to come out of the non-XXX cinema, which like any list is almost certain to leave you seething in disagreement. (They also roped Dita Von Teese into this for reasons that are not entirely clear.) You'll either have to watch the show or wait a couple of days to find out what's at the top of their heap, but we're guessing you already have your own list in your head for the best date night movie romps. Share your favorites in the comments ... unless you're scared to tell us what turns you on. (Yes, we're resorting to threats now.) More »

Porn Valley Dispatch: Walking Down Christy Canyon

"Debbie" booster/Messiah Denier Paul Thomas and much-loved veteran performer Christy Canyon will join the likes of porn icons Jenna Jameson and Veronica Hart on Hustler Hollywood's Walk of Fame tonight in a ceremony hosted by Larry Flynt. The pair will sign their names and thrust their hands into the living Sunset Strip at 9 p.m. More »

Show Them To Me (No, Really, Show Them)

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Deep Inside Dorm24

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Porn Valley Dispatch: XRCOutside

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2007 XFANZ Erotica Film Festival

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