Fleshbot: straight, holly halston

Busty Beauties & Delicious Tits Are Truly Timeless

DCypher — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:30:01 EST

Most hootercentric titles lack real soul, settling instead for humongous melons jogging back and forth while high pitched big cock queens practice opera scales before taking a frosting. Lucky for you, this post has both.

For those of you not born in the 70's, the word "kismet" is Turkish for fate, which means it was prolly once Armenian for the same thing. How's that for irony? (We'll have to have someone else explain fondue to you. We're not sure we're all that qualified.) Though we most certainly are qualified to tell you about porn director Mark Kismet and his mammary manifesto dropping this week from Hustler Video and that genius Larry Flynt.

These days, a simple Google search for "kismet" will turn up everything but the little known Hustler director, which means he's almost a shoo-in for a book deal about how terrible it is having to slave in porn, judging from LFP employee's track records. Until he pens his memoirs, we can simply enjoy his take on the "Busty Beauties" video series (not to be confused with the magazine or the website) with the latest installment, "Delicious Tits." It just so happens that those are our favorite kind... and boy, are we hungry right now!

Mr. Fate serves up double D helpings of sweater stretching Freudian goodness with succulent milk maids Audrey Bitoni, Carmella, Holly Halston, Phoenix Marie, Priscilla Sin, and Taylor Kurtis getting jiggled every which way in the pink, then smothered in a piping hot coat of creamy white custard. Still, we're not sure this video illustrates the cosmic principle of determinism so much as reinforces our belief in karma—that is to say, by proving once again what goes around cums around.

Judge for yourself!

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

MILFs Really Know How 2 Love Other MILFs

DCypher — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:00:00 EST

How do you follow up the release of one of the hottest adult titles the industry has ever seen? That's a hard enough task to begin with—but it's doubly hard when the release in question is a movie that features succulent MILFs devouring other deliciously ripe MILF’s, lapping at the juicy nectar in their most intimate places before drilling each other to earth shattering orgasms with their toys and fingers. Thankfully, New Sensations has an easy solution to that particular challenge: you just release another volume and crank up the star power. You just gotta love these people.

The second installment of MILF-on-MILF-crime filled goodness goes even further than the first one, pumping up the cast with big name girls like Austin Kincaid, Brianna Beach, Holly Halston, Sabrina Rose, Phoenix Marie, August, Mia Presley, Dylan Ryder, Anastasia Pierce, Nicole Moore, Krista Kaslo, and Loona Luxx. We’re not sure what kind of pep talk the director gives these ladies before they go at it, but from the look of things, it's totally working. These girls are drinking way more than just the Kool-Aid!

Having officially given up on the burden of proof last year (and yes, that goes for Barely Legal Teens as well). we can gleefully kick back and enjoy the muff diving madness without worrying about the actual MILFyness of each and every performer. Which is quite a relief, because with so many certified starlets turning in high quality performances it took us nearly a week just to watch the DVD. These MILF’s are good to the last naughty drop (we promise!)!

"MILFs Loving MILFs 2" releases this week from New Sensations.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Today In Bravery: "I Am Not A MILF"

Gram Ponante — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:25:22 EDT

I can imagine that, when it's the difference between a paycheck and no paycheck, a woman who has not actually borne children will concede to being called a MILF for the purposes of pornic exploitation. But Kara Nox in "Desperate MILFs & Housewives" courageously sets the record straight. "I'm not a MILF," she says. "I'm 31 and have never had children." Would that our leaders were as honest.

This cobbled-together series of scenes that debuted on the Internet provides several examples of the Capture And Release school of porn filmmaking, in which a crew pretends to search Porn Valley strip malls for likely women who are then cajoled into returning with said crew to a film studio under false pretenses. (It's not kidnaping and rape because James Deen is such a smooth talker.)

In the first scene Deen looks by comparison like an elder statesman next to emo kid Daniel, who actually answers his cell phone, dismounting a woman named Victoeria, during their scene. Kids these days.

It might be a revelation to the people who have just discovered this style of porn that each participant has signed a series of documents proving his or her age and identity before a camera is activated. But the acting is so compelling that even jaded reviewers like me can be drawn in. "Is this really happening?" we'll cry.

"Desperate MILFs & Housewives" features Holly Halston getting serviced in a van. Halston reminds me of an especially boobulous Cheryl Hines. She and her scene partner, Tony, were unable to curb their enthusiasm. In fact, he curbed all over her face.

The reason I picked this movie was the boxcover. Vanessa looks like Mary Louise Parker and, with Halston also on board, this movie is a great complement to that free weekend of Showtime and HBO we got last month at Fleshbot West.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Desperate MILFs & Housewives 5" (gamelink.com)

As Real As It Gets: "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2"

DCypher — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:10:37 EDT

As we've noted before, the burden of proof with most MILF titles these days is left up to the consumer—and with the number of MILF titles studios keep churning out, that's a lot of, uh, burden. So it's refreshing to see director Chris Streams releasing a MILF title that actually features women over 30. And how do we know they're thr real deal? Well, in some cases we've seen them performing in adult films for a minimum of six or seven years—which would at least make them around 25 or so. Also? The title is kind of clever in a crude sort of way. So there's that too.

In fact, "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" doesn’t pull any punches anywhere. The video shows just enough wrinkles, stretch marks, and imperfectly proportioned rack jobs to make us believe we're watching insatiable cougar types in action—and we mean all of that in the best possible way. After all, you wouldn't want to buy or rent a title like this and see Veronica Rayne looking like a dewy-fresh barely legal ingenue, would you? No, you would not: you want to see her handling two studs at once as only a mature woman of experience can. And she does.

"Dirty Rotten Motherfuckers 2" also stars Brittany O’Connell, Holly Halston, Julia Ann, Monique, Jada Fire, Diamond Jackson, and Raquel Devine.

• "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" (DVD info + more previews @ julesjordanvideo.com)