Actually. we’re not sure exactly what Ed contributes to "Tera Goes Gonzo"; we were too bust watching Tera and her costars to analyze things too much. But one thing is clear: with a supporting cast that includes Nautica Thorn, Daisy Marie, Roxy DeVille, Gianna Lynn, Kelle Marie, and Stefani Morgan, we’re more than willing to endure whatever other support staff Tera decided to hire to get things done.

In other news, we hear that TeraVision has also leased out the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva and will harness its awesome power to travel back to 1982 and make a real proto-gonzo video. In the meantime, however, "Tera Goes Gonzo" hits the shelves later this month..

• Tera Patrick (all things Tera @ terapatrick.com)
• Order: "Tera Goes Gonzo" (adultdvdempire.com)

. . .

• Hustler (hustlerworld.com)

In fact, "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" doesn’t pull any punches anywhere. The video shows just enough wrinkles, stretch marks, and imperfectly proportioned rack jobs to make us believe we're watching insatiable cougar types in action—and we mean all of that in the best possible way. After all, you wouldn't want to buy or rent a title like this and see Veronica Rayne looking like a dewy-fresh barely legal ingenue, would you? No, you would not: you want to see her handling two studs at once as only a mature woman of experience can. And she does.

"Dirty Rotten Motherfuckers 2" also stars Brittany O’Connell, Holly Halston, Julia Ann, Monique, Jada Fire, Diamond Jackson, and Raquel Devine.

• "Dirty Rotten Mother Fuckers 2" (DVD info + more previews @ julesjordanvideo.com)

The internal pop shot is closely related to the creampie, bearing roughly the same relationship to it as do pupae to full-grown butterflies, and it is internal pop shots and their resultant creampies that are the focus of "All Internal 8"—as if you couldn't tell that already from the title. It stars a bevy of creampie-extruding cuties including Carla Cox, Madison Parker, Angelina Crow, Silvia Diamond, Stella Baby, Jenny Noel, and Jenna Jan, none of whom may be household names yet but all of whom will gain a certain notoriety from appearing in this no doubt soon-to-be-classic title. Think of what the first season of "The Facts of Life" did for Molly Ringwald and take it from there.

For all of you out there who have ever wondered about how creampies are created or the effects of gravity upon certain body fluids—or who are just dirty perverts (our favorite kind!)—this DVD, and this preview gallery, is for you.

• "All Internal #8" (DVD info @ julesjordanvideo.com/)

. . .

• Rocio Marrero and Rocio Marrero in "Language Barrier" (previews @ bangbrosnetwork.com, via Your Dirty Mind

• See also: "The mystery of Dashiell Torralba" (babalublog.com)

In such a climate was born Mike John's "No Cum Dodging Allowed" series for Jules Jordan Video, and it quickly became one of the go-to titles for facial fans. In this, the ninth installment, the resolute Tatiana Kush, Velicity Von, Adrianna Nicole, Dana DeArmond, and Allie Foster get covered in goo so often and with such enthusiasm that you'd think that Nickelodeon was somehow involved in its production.

• "No Cum Dodging Allowed 9" (julesjordanvideo.com)

With intentions so selfless we're certain it won't be long before he's knighted by the Queen of England or handed the Nobel Peace prize or invited to bang Angelina Jolie at the United Nations headquarters for his service to humankind. Maybe if we're all lucky he'll give us a virtual ride in the Bentley of us one of these days too ...

· "Tunnel Vision 3" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

The only problem people might have with the DVD is the nature of the Ready Wet Go" series itself. Is it merely just gonzo series? Is it an oil fetish spectacular (and if so, why doesn't it say so in the title)? Or is it simply something made for anyone who appreciates callipygian women with various glistening substances all over their bodies?

Ultimately, though, such fine-grained matters of classification are besides the point. What's important here is that Gianna is joined by Diana Doll, Brittney Stevens, Brianna Luv, and the amazing Alexis Texas, all of whom turn in some pretty great performances without anything like plot or atmosphere to get in the way—and who all look like they're having a hell of a good time doing it. Whatever you want to call it, you can't ask more from your porn than that.

· Order: "Ready Wet Go 5" (Adult DVD Empire)
·3rd Degree (thirdmovies.com)

You might see a different America than the one Everhard experienced in his travels ... but this is his POV (and his Anal Prostitutes On Video), not yours. Check out more of his field research reports in the preview gallery from "Anal POV 5" below.

· "Anal POV 5" Gallery
· Erik Everhard's "Anal POV 5" (more pics + trailer @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Let's give them an A for effort, at least in the casting department: the menu for the second installment of this "Feast" features a young Keri Sable, now removed from porn and eternally inviolable, and fondly remembered Fleshbot crush object Lauren Phoenix, who has also since gone on to fuck in private and who presents her legendary ass like a tender peach ripe for the picking. In addition, Courtney Simpson provides the after-dinner entertainment as she demonstrates the correct way to perform Chinese fingercuffs from the New American Kama Sutra.

While Lynn and Knight borrow more than a few moves from the playbook of POV master Jules Jordan, they sometimes lack Jordan's attention to technical detail with the result that there are more than a few distracting glitches here and there. Maybe the next time around Lynn might want to consider swapping out Travis Knight for Jules, who doesn't wear bright white sneakers in every scene? (In fact, we have no idea whatsoever what Jules Jordan's feet look like, and we prefer to keep it that way.)

· Gina Lynn Productions (ginalynnproductions.com)
· Order "Gina Lynn's Ultimate Feast 2" (Adult DVD Empire)

Take a look at "Reform School Girls 2" after the gap.

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Reform School Girls 2

Studio: Wicked
Director: Mark Stone
Cast: Penny Flame, Kelli Tyler, Katarina Kat, Kissy Kapri, Aubrey Addams, Marlie Moore, Nadi Phuket, Randy Spears, Evan Stone, Barrett Blade, Manuel Ferrara, Charles Dera, Chunk

Review by Gram Ponante

Adult women in schoolgirl uniforms has become a cultural indicator divorced from cultural practice, in the same way that Hawaiians don't have luaus without tourists watching. That is why we can watch a film like Reform School Girls 2 like anthropologists, and not have to mail back our college degrees and refund money to our parents.

Unlike other movies in which the bait and switch becomes apparent immediately, this film mightily maintains the schoolgirl conceit all the way through (even if, shame on Wicked, we never see Penny Flame and Katarina Kat in the same scene, as implied by the boxcover).

Mr. Davidson (Randy Spears) is in gravelly, bemused I Know You're Here to Jerk Off mode as he explains that his Headly Academy for "girls slightly over 18" is all about a hands-on approach to finding the right slots for wayward girls to fit in. You can see where it goes from there.

The first applicant is the delicious Penny Flame, whose winning sense of humor matches that of Spears as all attempts at convincing her that this is a vo-cational school rather than a va-cational school lead to the Inevitable. Afterward, she spits out his come and pops a wad of gum back in her mouth.

Aubrey Addams doesn't have the "finest" clue how to cook or "how to handle meat" so she is paired with Manuel Ferrara, the school chef. He demonstrates on her how to show respect to chicken breasts. We had a bet about how long it would take someone to say, "Now I'm going to show you how to stuff a pussy." It took maybe five minutes.

Then we meet the toothsome Nadi Phuket, sentenced to dance class with Evan Stone. Despite the fact that this is a class for The Dance, he somehow finds a way to direct her to "use 'Cock' in a sentence."

Then the Ukraine's Katarina Kat discovers that Acting and Modeling instructor Charles Dera's Method has nothing to do with Stanislavsky. It's hard to keep track of everyone who washes ashore in this business, but I found myself lamenting the hollow months I spent not knowing who Katarina Kat was.

The game Kissy Kapri and Marlie Moore do the best they can with modeling clay for a man named Chunk, playing their art teacher. If we didn't have gay stereotypes, how would we know where to place the lesbo scenes?

Finally, music teacher Barrett Blade works on the vocal cords of Lexxi Tyler.

This movie is part of Wicked's Wall to Wall series, its gonzo division. When not producing higher-budget fare, this is what the company does. It's a good niche for the company, delivering enough of a setup to make couples feel OK about buying porn, but not taking itself so seriously that people like me would have a problem with the dialogue before I forget what the real purpose of the movie is.

(And note: this is no relation to one of the worst porn movies I have ever seen.)

· Wicked (wicked.com)
· Buy "Reform School Girls 2" (gamelink.com)

· "Fuck Me In The Bathroom" (preorder info + trailer @ burningmerch.com)
· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)

Previously: Kimberly Kane: 19th Floor, "Juice": Kimberly Kane Gets a Smile Out Of Sophia Santi

Awards ceremonies in the entertainment business are much maligned for their interminable pacing and overlong acceptance speeches. But there was a refreshing brevity and candor to the proceedings at Erotica L.A. on Saturday night as the 2007 F.A.M.E. awards were handed out in a mere 45 minutes and were marked by classic moments such as the diminutive and ever-delightful Jenna Haze's self-assessment of her talents when she was awarded the trophy for Best Oral Starlet: "I guess I'm just a really great cock-sucker." (Yes, the hyphen was a direct quote.) Anyone who saw her bravura performance in Jules Jordan's "Jenna Haze Dark Side" probably saw that one coming months ago—but we're glad that Jenna at least got to go home that night with a commemorative statuette to remind her of the fact that all that uncomfortable uvula pounding wasn't for naught. Congrats, Jenna—we all knew you had it in you!

· "2007 F.A.M.E. Award Winners Announced" (avn.com; thumbnail photo by Gia Jordan)
· "F.A.M.E. Awards Winners" (xfanz.com)
· The F.A.M.E. Awards (thefameawards.com)
· Order: "Jenna Haze Dark Side" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: Belladonna: Trompe Le Monde, 2007 F.A.M.E. Awards: Because If Belladonna's Ass Doesn't Win Something, We All Lose, Porn Valley Dispatch: F.A.M.E.'s Gonna Live Forever!

Now this is what we think of when we think of bachelor parties. Well, fantasy bachelor parties anyway. In the real world, "stripper" rarely equals "hooker" and even though we've personally seen the hired help do some crazy things at the various stag fests we've attended, it almost never turns into an actual porn movie. However, a bunch of bored guys standing around in the background drinking beer and gabbing is totally accurate and adds a nice touch of authenticity to this scene. See, the only problem with real bachelor parties is that the guest lists are made up entirely of drunken horned up straight dudes ... and who wants to hang out with them anyway?

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· Bachelor Party Fuckfest (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Party Report: "Bachelor Party" Is Good, Clean Fun