Fleshbot: straight, gazzman

Aletta Ocean And Why "Slam"ming It Is Really The Only Option

Gram Ponante — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:30:01 EST

Aletta Ocean is a captivating Hungarian who will be 22 later this month. Prior to her boob job she almost looked wholesome, but now, with rhinestones ringing her 3-D nipples and thigh-high stockings, well, she sure doesn't.

And that is why Ocean adorns the cover of Gazzman's "Slam It! In A Filthy Fucker," a movie that begins with an impossible crane up the back of Ocean's legs, stopping at the first available Slamming entrance.

As I said, there is absolutely nothing wholesome and girl-next-door about Ocean in this getup. Were I to bring her home to my mother (I wouldn't), the latter would slap me across the face. "I'm not blind," my mother would say.

We have seen a post-augmentation Ocean in Private's "Fuck My Big Boobs" (yes, please) and "6 Sluts in Uniform Take it Up the Ass," but this scene, shot in available afternoon light on a wood floor, really gives credit to the title.

"Yes," you will say, "there is nothing to do but Slam It. Now I understand perfectly."

· Harmony UK (harmonyuk.com)
· Buy "Slam It! In A Filthy Fucker" (gamelink.com)

Hanging with Riley Evans' "Perfect Breasts"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 11:30:01 EDT

In the desert hills above Porn Valley hang Riley Evans' perfect breasts. She is standing in the 102-degree afternoon waiting for them to be - depending on the prevailing winds - ejaculated upon or over.

I never learned what happened between Tony DeSergio, Oliver Sanchez and Evans on the set of Harmony Films' "Gazzman's Perfect Breasts" (director Gazzman, even though the breasts aren't actually his, at least has great taste in them; tomorrow he's shooting Aiden Starr), because I feared bursting into flame, but several things are certain:

1. Evans' breasts are great
2. The Tampa native even has great breasts when she's sitting down
3. One of Porn's many fantasy elements, I've just realized, must be fucking on the surface of the Sun

· Gazzman (myspace.com)

"Fuck Club": Membership Has Its Privileges

Gram Ponante — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:00:00 EDT

As I long suspected, a cabal of rich and powerful European men sample the ripest American women and teach them about metrics the hard way in "Fuck Club."

Fuck Club

Studio: Harmony Films
Director: Gazzman
Cast: Tori Black, Jandi Lin, Nicki Hunter, Maya Hills, Faye Reagan, Ryder Skye, Tatiana Kush, Kiesha Kane

Review by: Gram Ponante

There is nothing that conveys ancient (and probably Masonic) power than a group of cigar-smoking, brandy-sniftering older dudes in Italian suits with a near-naked young woman in their midst. When a man becomes a member of their "Red Tie Fuck Club," he soon finds that his steep entrance fee offers a great deal of stateside benefits.

The scene with the European fellows was actually filmed in Europe but "Fuck Club" was shot here with American talent. And don't judge a movie by its cover: while Tori Black might look porn-wholesome in her half-shirt and cutoffs, she does wonderful/terrible things by an idyllic Porn Valley waterfall in the movie.

Ditto Jandi Lin, Maya Hills and Nicki Hunter, whose return to porn culminated in this - her first ever - double penetration scene. Hunter, as always, performs like a champ.

Also on hand is Tatiana Kush, who looks like Stoya's jealous little sister. She admirably handles Marco Banderas and Tony Desergio.

This movie borders on a Max Hardcore (but artier) level of clinical perspective, and is a little harder-edged than standard vignette porn. Though everyone involved seems up to the task, I would have liked fewer closeups so I could actually see the whole person more often.

I also would have liked if the concept of the "Fuck Club" hadn't broken down after the very first scene, but who cares? All those DPs at least instill a strong sense of teamwork and camaraderie.

· Harmony Films (harmonyuk.com)
· Upstairs/Downstairs with Tatiana Kush and Nicki Hunter (gramponante.com)
· Buy "Fuck Club" (gamelink.com)

Popshots of the Week!

Gram Ponante — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Despite financial end-times, porn has, in fact, pushed its turgid little buds through pungent, yielding soil to spurt its ropy essence on our tits and neck here at Fleshbot West.

Above, the lovely Nika Noire and the amiable Randy Spears engage in some administrative activities on Really Casual Friday for New Sensations' "Office XXX" upcoming webisodes.

Down the hall, Dane Cross remarks to James Deen that Thallium "cuts like a knife/But it feels so right." Or is that Zirconium?

In the green room for Adam & Eve's "Kayden And Rocco Make A Porno," screenwriter Kayden Kross gives equally alliterative Rocco Reed a couple of tips.

Barefoot Tori Black decides on lingerie in a Harmony Films shoot in which the carpet appears above the table.

...and then argues a point with director Gazzman by means of a rhetorical tactic that guarantees victory.

Finally, here's some Cetaphil, a product that not only moistens and strengthens skin but which also serves the noble purpose of simulating ejaculate for boxcover photos long after the real stuff has crusted up or been toweled off.

"Harlots" And Higher Education

pweasels — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:30:05 EST

Scots porniste Gazzman’s epic series of films chronicling the goings-on at an exclusive and thoroughly salacious academy for young trollops is back with another neo-Victorian romp through the halls and grounds of what appears to be the best school ever; “Young Harlots - Dirty Secrets” is more in the grand old private school tradition, but the movie raises some questions for us colonials. Mind the gap.

Not just the obvious ones, either – what is that girl about to be spanked for (one assumes that an upcoming spanking is the reason for her presenting like that), and why doesn’t she look either more or less frightened at the prospect? Or even where, in the name of all that’s sacred, is that school? – but a more far-reaching question.

Once you’ve graduated, presumably magna cum something, what line of work to go into, and what part of Monster.com do we access to hire you?

· Harmony Films (www.harmonyppv.com)
· Buy "Young Harlots - Dirty Secrets" (gamelink.com)

Your Dinner with Bobbi Starr, But Not "Your Visit To Bobbi Starr's Chocolate Factory"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:01:25 EDT

Very smart of the London-based Harmony Films to start early in its self-promotion for a certain Las Vegas porn event in January. Ten lucky DVD consumers will find a "golden ticket" in upcoming Harmony releases that will win them places at an intimate table with the delightful Bobbi Starr and rakish Harmony director Gazzman for The Gapiest Show on Earth^TM (our title), better known as the AVN Awards.

Harmony Films will slip a total of four golden tickets — each one good for a seat at the awards show — in DVDs of its November titles, "Young Harlots: Dirty Secrets" and "Ladies of Pleasure." The movies are also the first to be wholly distributed in the US by the company. Another four golden tickets will be included in random copies of "Nymphomaniac: Bobbi Starr," and "Tanya Hyde Sex Maniac," both December releases. The final two tickets will be raffled off during the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo and will be given out the day of the awards. The winners will also have access to the award show's afterparty.

Much has been made of the dichotomy between the swan-like Starr's oboe-loving ways and her delightful filthiness on camera, but just in case Starr is talking - as Miss Manners suggests - to the person on her left, you can also be regaled by Gazzman. He has prepared discourses on the following topics:

I may talk about my upcoming radio "appearance" where the subject is "Is Pornography Adultery?" . . .

or I may "fill them in" on the challenges we face when filming an all anal wall-to-wall porno...

Or perhaps how the flakiness of many performers leads to the ever changing soup known as a shooting schedule or script. I might even tell them of my theory on actors as "dollies heads".

But, the proper Scotsman Gazzman reflected:

That may all prove too much of a downer for them, particularly on awards night when we celebrate our earth-shattering achievements with lots of award giving, back slapping and the odd fist fight in honour of "The Biz." So really I hope that one of the winners is a sexually compulsive 32 DD (natural) brunette (or blonde) that I can initiate into my nasty world of porn...with the other winners watching of course.

Winners are advised they do not get to make out with Bobbi Starr.

· Harmony Films (myspace.com)
· AVN Awards '09 (avnawards.com)

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Penal Reform Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:45:12 EDT

We know. "We're evolved enough as porn consumers to not expect a literal interpretation of the title on the boxcover, hence why these harlots are outside and not actually in detention," you might say. But that wasn't the point we were going to make. Instead, dazzle us like last week's winner did and come up with a Motown girl group name for the flashing harlots on the bench.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Buy "Young Harlots - In Detention" (gamelink.com)

Meet Jean Laconia: A Star Is Born

Gram Ponante — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 22:50:47 EST

Jean Laconia was both of the AVN Expo and not of the AVN Expo this year, as the 18-year-old Connecticut native was visiting Las Vegas for the first time and shot what she said was her first professional porn scene ever in a cramped room at Treasure Island. Jean is a stripper in Massachusetts, but is going to be making the move to Los Anghles shortly. In fact, she's shooting for Vivid this very day.

See more of the prime of Miss Jean Laconia after the gap.

We are big fans of Scots director Gazzman. It was at last year's show, in fact, that we were first treated to another 18-year-old's very first porn scene, with Gazzman directing. This time the camera work was done by Gazzman associate Dave West, also of Harmony Films.

Though I didn't mean to, the smallest amount of muckraking turned up a swingers website in which Laconia is featured in romps with other women. Homegrown or not, there is nothing that separates pro from amateur in porn if someone is being paid, so I hope Vivid isn't using Laconia for "Brand New Faces" or someone is going to get his money back.

Laconia, as one can assume by her porn name, has a slight New England accent, and with her clothes on is just the type of woman you'd expect at a Patriots game. We don't have a symmetrical sports comment about how she looks with her clothes off, other than to say something lame like "Touchdown!"

Strippers who cross into the world of porn have a slight advantage over their hooker, reality show, or never-had-sex-before counteerparts: they know how to find their light, arch their backs, and talk porny. It's tough (and a little awkward) getting naked in front of a roomful of men with cameras in Vegas, yet Laconia boldly said, "If OI didn't give you all boners, I didn't do my job."

(For me, it was too early in the week for the inappropriate behavior that characterized most Gawker employees, and I still maintained a semblance of my America's Beloved Porn Journalist self. Like Jame Gumb, I taped myself down before entering the hotel room, just to maintain my integrity.)

Laconia's second porn scene ever - and the first with someone else - was scheduled for today with Vivid. She doesn't have a website yet, but she will.

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Gram's Gallery (gramponante.com)