Fleshbot: straight, football

Penthouse Salutes The Hottest WAGs Of The NFL

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:00:00 EDT

Professional football kicks off next week—so what better time to salute the lovely ladies who've paired up with players? This month's issue of Penthouse takes a long hard look at the top ten NFL WAGs.

Not surprisingly, most of the women who landed on the list have, at one time or another, posed in some state of undress (that's how we know they're hot!). You'll have to buy Penthouse if you want to actually see their tribute to these WAGs...but we still managed to dig up some pretty sexy photos of the ladies who made the list. Take a gander below—and let us know who you're glad to see on the list (and who was unfairly left off).

1. Vida Guerra (Jeremy Shockey, TE, New Orleans Saint)

2. Carmella DeCesare (Jeff Garcia, QB, Oakland Raiders )

3. Kim Kardashian (Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans Saint)

4. Brande Roderick (Cade McNown, QB, Chicago Bears)

5. Heather Kozar (Tim Couch, QB, Cleveland Browns)

6. Jennifer Walcott (Adam Archuleta, S, St. Louis Rams)

7. Kendra Wilkinson (Hank Baskett, WR, Philadelphia Eagles)

8. Jessica Simpson (Tony Romo, QB, Dallas Cowboys)

9. Gisele Bundchen (Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots)

10. Mercedes Lindsay (Jason Campbell, QB, Washington Redskins)

· Penthouse (penthouse.com)
· List via Nudography (nudography.com)

Football Parody Porn Set To Change The Way You View John Madden

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:30:01 EDT

And now for something completely bizarre: X-Play has just announced the upcoming release of "Not Monday Night Football XXX." Well, with all those tight ends going deep, it was bound to happen eventually.

What's the vision for this soon-to-be-released porn epic, you ask? Director Will Ryder (of course) puts it this way: "We're combining the best of the Barely Legal girls with football and hilarious legendary TV announcers all in one classic sex comedy that will appeal to fans everywhere." Also some sort of rip in space-time allows announcers from multiple eras to join together in porny, footbally goodness. And who says porn is out of ideas?

· X-Play (allmediaplay.com)

Porn Invades The Super Bowl

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 08:15:00 EST

We spent most of the Super Bowl crossing our fingers that we'd get to see some sexy ads (we didn't). If only we'd been in Tucson—we could have seen some honest-to-goodness porn!

Or at least pornstar penis, in any case. During the final few minutes of the game, Comcast subscribers had their broadcast interrupted by none other than Evan Stone. Check the video above to relive the magic—and hey, can anyone identify what porn the clip is from?

UPDATE: The clip is reportedly from Club Jenna's "18 'n' Up Wet Poons." And check out what Evan had to say about his 30 seconds of football stardom.

UPDATE 2: Check out Evan Stone's last brush with mainstream stardom on South Park. And, our good friend Violet Blue reports that the clip was originally from "Wild Cherries 4 5," which Club Jenna then repackaged.

UPDATE 3: Evan's partner in crime has been identified as the lovely Tristan Kingsley. Learn more about her here.

· Comcast Super Bowl Porn (comcastsuperbowlporn.com)

Fantasy Football Becomes A Reality

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 10:30:00 EDT

Back in the early days of the Lingerie Football League, we daydreamed that the once-a-year halftime extravaganza might one day become a full-fledged sport, with a real season and everything. Well, it seems that someone was listening to our prayers: come September 4, 2009, the LFL will kick off its first full season, with 10 teams across the nation fighting for the chance to play in the Lingerie Bowl. Can't wait until next September? Don't worry—there's always the Lingerie Bowl VI this February.

· Lingerie Football League (lflus.com)

1st And Ten, Do It Again

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Taking your girlfriend up to the rocks overlooking the football stadium is an excellent ~~cheap~~ date, but just remember that if you can see into the stadium, everyone in the stadium can see you too. (YouTube, via Deadspin)

. . .

The New York Jets will have none of the...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:00:00 EDT

The New York Jets will have none of the halftime boobie flashing shenanigans that plagued their stadium last year. That's why they hired Jenn Sterger—a girl whose only claim to fame is shaking her own stuff at Florida State football games—to be their new "gameday host". Yes, from now on, all leering must be done through proper team channels, thank you very much. (nj.com + newyorkjets.com + Deadspin; Jenn's Playboy pics are @ 121s.com.)

So we guess that wasn't Terrell Owens admiring...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:35:31 EDT

So we guess that wasn't Terrell Owens admiring Vanessa Lee on a Miami street, but some other tall black guy who has been mysteriously cropped out of the Bang Bros. preview photo for no reason at all. It was an honest mistake! (Deadspin)

Super Bowl Cheerleaders: Advantage Patriots

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:31:09 EST

Apparently there's some sort of important sports contest this weekend and while we're no gambling experts, we think we have a pretty solid idea of who is going to win the Big Game: as with all sporting events, the easiest way to determine the winner is to look at the cheerleaders. A hotter, more enthusiastic pep squad means happier, better players ... and that means victory. (It's just common sense.) So after doing some research, it's clear that you should place all your money on the New England Patriots this Sunday: their support squad is sexy, upbeat, has their own swimsuit calendar, and even dressed up in naughty Halloween costumes for their team's October game. Also? The New York Giants don't even have cheerleaders. It's a miracle they got this far at all.

· New England Patriots CheerLeaders (photos + more @ patriots.com)
· Cheerleaders of the 2008 NFL Playoffs (galleries of all playoff teams @ coedmagazine.com)
· Ranking the Pats Cheerleaders In Their Halloween Costumes (barstoolsports.com)

Who knew that Jenny Hendrix (she of the...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:56:02 EST

Who knew that Jenny Hendrix (she of the Anal Experience) was such a big Jacksonville Jaguars fan? If she can't inspire them to beat the Patriots this weekend, those guys really are invincible. (thenaughtyamerican.com, via lioninoil.blogspot.com)

College football season will be over soon,...

Jonnobot — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:04:51 EST

College football season will be over soon, but that doesn't mean that you still can't use a little help keeping track of who's playing who in the playoffs this year ... or more importantly, what their cheerleaders look like. Team spirit has rarely ~~smelled~~ looked so sweet. (coedmagazine.com)

Remember when the New York Jets made it...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:40:01 EST

Remember when the New York Jets made it loud and clear that they wouldn't tolerate the boob-flashing spectacle that happens at every halftime? Well, they were so loud and clear that more fans than ever came out to Gate D on Sunday hoping to see the tits. A few of them even stayed for the football game! (nytimes.com)

You've read all about that halftime hooter...

Fleshbot — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:20:46 EST

You've read all about that halftime hooter flashing frenzy during Jets games ... now thanks to our friends down under (sea level, that is), you can actually watch some poor quality video of average quality football fan boobage too! Seems like an awful lot of screaming for very little return, but what do we know about football anyway? (video @ kodiefiles.nl)

It looks like the New York Jets are so bad...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 15:39:49 EST

It looks like the New York Jets are so bad this year, their fans have taken up a new sport—getting chicks to whip out their tits on the concourse during halftime. Maybe they should be asking if any of them know how to play quarterback instead. (nytimes.com)

NFL cheerleaders: Now with 360-degree Oglevision...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 10:00:45 EST

NFL cheerleaders: Now with 360-degree Oglevision and full-motion Dancing Jiggle-Action! We are living in great times people. (houstontexans.com, via Deadspin)

Looks like we have another excuse to visit...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:46:09 EDT

Looks like we have another excuse to visit Camp Randall Stadium in Wisconsin this weekend (besides a chance to see our alma mater pull the big upset. Go Green!) Everyone knows all the real college football action happens in the bathroom anyway. (uwire.com)

Booties 4 Booty

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 11:54:21 EDT

One of the most recognizable players in college football this year is USC quarterback John David Booty, a fact that is probably not entirely unrelated to the snicker factor of his last name. (But it is fun to say.) On a less important note, he's actually not bad at his job and is a leading candidate to win the Heisman Trophy. But how can the average fan support John and make sure that voters remember his name when it's time to fill out the ballot? Simple—take a picture of your tush and send it to Booties-4-Booty, an assroots campaign using rear ends to raise awareness of the guy with the strong arm and the funny name. Who knows if it will work, but this is the kind of election-time populism that even non-USC fans can surely get, uh ... behind.

· Booties-4-Booty (booties4booty.com, via lioninoil.blogspot.com)

Previously: Cheerleader Porn Roundup

Cheerleader Porn Roundup

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:30:45 EDT

Even thought football was meant for the weekends, tonight somehow marks the kickoff of Week 1 of the NFL season. Like everyone else in America we're thrilled to have the sport back, but as you have probably guessed, it's not because we're fans of the zone blitz. Football means cheerleaders and cheerleaders means tiny girls in short skirts who are way too enthusiastic about everything. (And usually quite flexible too.) So while everyone else pours over injury reports and betting lines, we did a little research of our own and we think you'll find our pre-game show to be much more interesting than usual—and mercifully free of Terry Bradshaw.

- - -

· Cheerleader pictures and movie galleries (pichunter.com)
· Cheerleader Thumbs (xxxnudecheerleaders.com)

· Cheerleader Gallery (phun.org)
· Naked Cheerleader Blog (cheerleaders.genblogger.com)

· Cheerleader Auditions (cheerleaderauditions.com)
· Cheerleader Nude Sex Audition (cheerleader.thumblogger.com)

· Cheerleaders Hardcore (cheerleadershardcore.com)
· Cum Swapping Cheerleaders (cumswappingcheerleaders.com)

* * * * *

Previously: NFL Cheerleader Megagallery, Barely Legal Watch: Hayden Panettiere, "Debbie <3 Dallas": The Trailer, Breaking: Debbie Still Doing Dallas

We already passed along these tips for dating...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 15:30:07 EDT

We already passed along these tips for dating the fans of NFC football teams so it's only fair that we include the AFC as well. Although, if your girlfriend (or boyfriend) has the hots for celebrity impregnator Tom Brady you should probably just take a knee and give up. (datehole.com)

Personally, we think July is a little too...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 10:40:22 EDT

Personally, we think July is a little too early to be talking about football ... unless you're talking about the newest NFL cheerleaders in which case we'll let it slide. (Bonus: What to expect from your date based on the NFC team she chooses to root for. These are important topics.) (winningtheturnoverbattle.blogspot.com + datehole.com)