Scantily Clad Dita Von Teese Makes Eurovision Infinitely More Watchable

Eurovision (the music festival, not the thong contest) is a big, international music competition that we normally wouldn't care about in the slightest. But then again, it normally doesn't feature a scantily clad Dita Von Teese. More »

"One Night In Bangkok" Makes YouTube Censors' Heads Hurt

Bangkok. Oriental City! A place where laws about what counts as legal paid entertainment probably differ from where you live. A city that was invented in 1984 for the premiere of Tim Rice/ABBA musical "Chess." You may be more familiar with the classic Murray Head version of this stirring tale, but as European dance club DJs are wont to do "One Night In Bangkok" has been given a 21st century update complete with thumbing bass line and a five-girl strip club orgy video. Honestly, if you can't go to Bangkok and see five party babes have a topless pillow fight/bubble bath, then what's the point of even having musical theater? However, you probably can't see it on YouTube for much longer—so we've preserved it here. More »

Barcelona International Erotic Film Festival Goes To ... Madrid?

Heads up, international porn fans: the Barcelona International Erotic Film Festival (FICEB) will be taking place this weekend—though for reasons that are unclear to us, it will be held in Madrid. (¡Que loco!) Alas, with gas prices and airline tickets and the US dollar being what they are, we're going to be missing out on the fun ... and from the list of porn celebrities in attendance (Sylvia Saint! Nacho Vidal!) it looks like there's going to be a lot of fun. Anyone want to be our unofficial correspondent? We'll even send you a Fleshbot paint-by-numbers press badge that may or may not get you anywhere! (ficeb.com)

Since they're doing it everywhere from Miami to Paris to Israel these days, you didn't think Bulgaria was going to stay out of the global sex expo trend, did you? If you're in the Sofia area this week (and why wouldn't you be?), stop whatever you're doing and make your way to the Eros Show Erotic Expo. We hear there'll be porn stars there and everything! (international.ibox.bg)

Simultaneously freakish and adorable, this recently discovered guy is called the Gant GluGlu (which we translate loosely to Glu, the Wonder Glove) and appears to be a double sided glove made of cyberskin that just happens to have a vagina in the palm. He looks more like the Hamburger Helper's dirty little cousin than a masturbatory aid, but maybe it will make you casserole when you're done? (softparis.typepad.com, en Francais) - CW

Flesh Flicks: Orgies Done Right

What are you doing this weekend? Going to a giant out of control orgy, perhaps? Good for you, because the folks at Drunk Sex Orgy have been at this for years and we still have never been invited to one of their parties. When it comes gathering large groups of Eastern European women into one room, hosing them down with beer and champagne, then magically turning them into cock-crazed vixens with no regard for traction control or the cameras, no one does it better. We didn't even know they had Spring Break in Europe, but apparently America needs to send its Daytona Beach-bound youth back to school to show them how it's done. More »

Is this really the most gratuitous use of an ass in advertising history? Of course, this assumes that you believe an ass shot can ever be gratuitous in the first place. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Make Porn Love, Not War

Leave it to the Italians to turn a war zone into an over-the-top fashion shoot ... or is it vice versa? The latest issue of Vogue Italia features a spread from photographer Steven Meisel that is part art project, part political protest, and all high-end designer advertising. (And a reminder of why European fashion mags are better than ours.) It's also sort of like a historical experiment, because it seems like a pretty accurate representation of what would happen if a bunch of Eurobabe models moved into a U.S. Army barracks and shunned the olive drab uniforms for couture dresses—or nothing at all, as the case may be. No matter what you think of our current foreign policy "situation," it would probably be much more pleasant for the soldiers to spend their days lounging in the dirt with leggy babes than dodging bullets. Or do you hate our troops? More »

Just because temperatures are over 100 degrees, doesn't mean you should be riding your bike in the nude. The nudity's fine, but give the biking a rest, huh? (msnbc.msn.com)

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi lauds former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher as "a great piece of pussy." Oh, those slick talking politicians are such flatterers. (independent.co.uk)

Blogs are buzzing this week over this YouTube clip celebrating European Union unity and the achievements of European film, though we're a little disappointed in the execution. We totally thought Luxembourg was bi. (youtube.com, via everyone)

Porn of the Moment: Private's "Sex City" Trilogy

We found Private's "Sex City" gorgeous, mouth-watering, and inscrutable when we saw it last year. That Pierre Woodman's pornish adaptation of "Sin City" spawned two sequels which are also included in this four-disc set leaves us wondering when in the next few months we'll have time to set the DVD player on Shuffle, turn the sound down, and drink Lambrusco all weekend. Plot and dialogue matter little when you have dusky Eurohotties cavorting with goblins amidst the pallets and kegs. - GP
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Amsterdam Clinic Weekend 2007

From drizzly, sexy Scotland we turn our attention to drizzly, sexy Amsterdam, where hundreds of latex- and rubber-clad revelers convened last week to discuss the urgencies of public health care reform at fetishwear emporium Absolute Danny's Clinic Weekend and fetish party. OK, so public health care reform wasn't really the focus of this particular brand of Clinic ... but we're pretty sure we spotted some sexy bondage nurses in globe trotting photographer Michael Diamond's exhaustive coverage of the event, along with dildo-wielding mistresses, live masturbation shows, erotic self-mutilation performances (don;t worry, the blood was fake), milk-lapping babes in rubber kittysuits, and more sexy Japanese schoolgirl uniforms than you can shake your flogger at. More »

Condom Ads From Around The World

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X-Passion: Does TV Make You Horny?

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Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: It Happens in Romania, Too

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Porn Du Moment: Marc Dorsel's "French ConneXion"

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Morning Wood: Who Needs To Pay Taxes Anyway?

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Wet Spots: Trying To Get Sent To The Office

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Son Of Still More Sexy Music Videos: Meet DVJ Bazuka

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"Put Your Hands Up For" Sexy Music Videos

You gotta hand it to those crazy European dance-pop artists. Their music all sounds the same to our barbaric American ears, but when it comes to video accompaniment, they sure know how to get our attention. Take Fedde Le Grand, a Dutch DJ, who caused a sensation across the pond last year with his smash hit "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit." (What? They deserve it!) However, we didn't begin to feel our own sensation until we recently caught the video, which envisions a Detroit of the future where lingerie clad scientists put male clones through their paces with rigorous lapdance testing. Who needs the auto industry when you've got an army of sexy chicks who know how to do "The Robot"? More »